Lex Teredo

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About Lex Teredo

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  • Location
    Greater Naptown Suburban Regional Metroplex Area
  • Interests
    Beer, bikes, beer, J/35's, and beer.

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  1. Lex Teredo

    i touch myself

    Well, I was trying to demonstrate the informal logic fallacy of compositional error, but if you say so... East Coast v. West Coast ain't just a hip hop thing, it seems.
  2. Lex Teredo

    i touch myself

    I knew a guy from California once who was an asshole. So I've concluded California has an asshole problem and needs to change everything about the state, top to bottom. Why hasn't California taken action yet? I must conclude California likes it that way.
  3. Lex Teredo

    Do Mount Gay Rum Hats Stink?

    Minuses: they aren't very good at preventing sunburn during races, and my wife and I both hate the smell of patchouli and worn out Birkenstocks. Pluses: aimless hippie dancing would liven up many regatta parties.
  4. Lex Teredo

    Do Mount Gay Rum Hats Stink?

    Sunday night, after I'd been working on the boat all day, Sainted Wife walks into the bedroom and goes, "Oh my God... did the cat crap in here? It smells awful?" I didn't see any cat crap and tossed my clothes in the hamper. They stunk. "Maybe it's these." Monday night, SW walks into the bedroom and goes, "Oh my God... did the cat crap in here? It smells like death. What the hell..." She then walked around making gagging noises. I told her maybe it was me, or the clothes I wore to the gym. Tuesday night, she walks in, sniffs, gives me a look of disgust, and climbs into bed rather frostily. This morning she gets up, walks around the room sniffing in every corner... and finally settles on my Mount Gay Rum hat, which is not cool, apparently, but it is *really* stinky. OH MY GOD. IT'S THIS HAT! IT'S THE GODDAMN FILTHY DISGUSTING HAT! She then grabbed it using only her fingernails and tossed it downstairs to go into the laundry. Maybe she is hoping the cat will piss on it, which in all truth would make it smell slightly better. Yes, one slightly worn Mount Gay Rum hat stunk up the whole bedroom for three days. I'm not even angry, I'm impressed. But it's causing domestic problems and I am under pressure to do something about it. I can always get new T-shirts and such, but you will only get my scabrous old Mount Gay hat from me when you pry it from my cold, dead, malodorous nose pickers. How do you get the stink out of your sailing clothes? Most washing remedies and Febreeze seem only temporary, and laundering them only helps until the next time I break even the slightest sweat, which seems to fully reactivate the Stank. Any thoughts?
  5. Lex Teredo

    Fall Cruising on the Chesapeake

    With the rain (nearly twice annual average, already, in many areas) the Bay has been awful with debris this year. The humidity has also been pretty deadly. So we didn't take our usual couple of overnight trips. For the most part all we've done is raced, which is okay but sort of a bummer, missing the family time. Even when the water has been fairly clean, it's been sort of awful - we've bumped a few submerged logs out racing and have had to gybe or tack past some really big ones. The night racing has been... interesting. Still I'm glad you are getting out and enjoying it now the temps have moderated.
  6. Lex Teredo

    caption contest

    "Even though we were becalmed, it was quite a blow."
  7. Lex Teredo

    Stupid Crew Tricks...

    Piss? Hah. After day 1 of a two day regatta, crew wakes up everybody else sleeping on the boat with the choking/strangling noises. Crew was choking on his own vomit, which is unbelievable given how much of the inside of the quarterberth he painted with his own chunky yak, not to mention the galley. How did he have enough left in him to choke on? It's not clear what hurt worse - the crew's head the next day, the guy who had to take him by the arm to drag him ashore to hose him off, the guy who had to crawl up the quarterberth to clean up that unbelievable mess ("On the ceiling skip? Jeeeezus, how'd he even do that?"), or the skipper, who had to clean the rest of the cabin and wonder about how to get the vomit smell out of the boat.
  8. Lex Teredo

    FP - Mind the Gap

    Crash, it was the sporty one of their two 40 footers, can't remember the exact model because, well, there were drinks involved. (Shockingly, said nobody). I lived in Germany for quite a while so I have made my peace with the MDF-based mid-century modern look. Not to everybody's taste. But going fast is.
  9. Lex Teredo

    FP - Mind the Gap

    Looked at a maybe 40' racer cruiser Elan at the Annapolis sailboat show last year, I think it was this line. The delivery captain was pretty stoked - said it was fast as a scalded cat, dry, easy to handle, stiff in a heavy breeze, and while he liked the cruisier Elans would take this one if it were his own money. The air conditioning kicked ass too, it ticked a lot of boxes. I don't mind the Ikea look either.... wife / pit said she liked how it was so light and airy down below, unlike the dungeons on most of the boats I tend to like. Ticks an awful lot of my boxes all at once... and as a J/35 guy that would be exactly my idea of the kind of cruiser I could live with.
  10. Lex Teredo

    Turning it upside down

    You wanna turn that thing over cheaply, lift the drop keel, strap the sails, and put her beam on in a stiff breeze. That will do it, won't cost you a thing. You want to loosen up the shrouds though so you can take the mast of quickly before she turtles though, or you won't be able to careen it on the beach to do the work, you'll have to dinghy out to her with a generator and your power tools. And that generator rental will cost you.
  11. Lex Teredo

    Are Mount Gay Rum Hats Cool?

    What rule is that? Never sail in a hat or sunglasses that you want to keep. So I wear shitty hats on the boat, and $20 shades. I've lost a lot of the shades, will buy a couple pairs at the Naptown Boatshow and Drinkfest. Haven't lost a hat in years since putting the shittiest hat in my closet into my sail bag. Paradoxically, I'd hate to lose that hat now, it's been with me quite a while. But whatever. I'm now sworn to not give a shit if the thing decides to go for a mid-race swim.
  12. Lex Teredo

    Are Mount Gay Rum Hats Cool?

  13. Lex Teredo

    Are Mount Gay Rum Hats Cool?

    Prett sure the Ruth's Chris is in the old Marmaduke's location. The Boatyard has a Mount Gay hat collection. Not sure if they bought or inherited that from Duke's or built their own. I like the Boatyard, the food is always quite good and it is as homey as a sort of clean, upscale place can be for a shitty smelling post-race sailor, but it's a better place to take people who are showered up and in nice clothes. Most of the time I'd rather get my drink on at Davis'. That place is comfy like an old sweatshirt. As for hats... who cares. I lost so many the first few years sailing (as a sufferer of Degenerate Adult Onset Sailing Disorder) that I vowed to only wear hats I wouldn't mind seeing blown off and floating away. The Mount Gay hats are free, and they don't look bad when faded. My mainstay hat is an NRA freebie that was the first one employed under my "don't wear a hat you would be upset about losing" doctrine. Suffice to say I've raced with it maybe 6-7 years, the thing blows off and catches on the backstay hydraulics, on the checkstay rigging, whatever. It's like a stray dog hanging around, I cant seem to lose that raggedy ass, faded lid. The Mount Gay hats are just backups, and they are rule compliant... wouldn't cry if they went swimming. I'd never get on somebody about their hat. You'd have to be a real douche to do that. I have a guy who is new to sailing and racing, in his second year, turning into a really useful crew. He wears a couple raggedy ass trucker caps that he probably got from work. I don't think he gives a shit. I like that.
  14. Lex Teredo

    Are Mount Gay Rum Hats Cool?

    You guys get the opportunity to celebrate a blowout of a Jets game 7 or 8 times a season, most years.
  15. Lex Teredo

    Port Tacking the Feet.

    Definitely one of the more impressive sets of TruckNutz that I've ever seen. Those juevos get any bigger though, the brother's gonna need a wheelie bar on that rig.