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33 Kiss-ass

About Happy

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    Tropical Oz

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  1. Happy

    Asian female driver

    I have the misfortune to be a taxi driver in a tropical holiday town that attracts many Chinese tourists, some of whom rent cars. Your average Chinese tourist pedestrian is equal parts blind stupid and apparent death wish, and the drivers are worse. I don't have the energy to type out all the stories of outrageously dangerous incompetence, there are too many. I dream of fitting my taxi with a pair of .50-cal M2's...…...
  2. Happy

    Weed or Hash ?

    Nope. SRV was all fucked up on cocaine and whiskey, never heard of him doing smack. The last few years before he cleaned up, breakfast used to be half a gram dissolved in a big slug of straight scotch. Poor bastard. I love herb, but I hate drugs.
  3. Happy

    Is Ellon Muske attenssion hoarre?

    My favourite drop for the last 35+ years. If I ever get to Ireland, I'm going to walk up to the front desk at Jameson's HQ and demand to see which part of the building I paid for.
  4. Happy

    Is Ellon Muske attenssion hoarre?

    Marsss offcourse. Blammme the Jammesonss. Seee how fuckin' irrtatin thiss shittt iss?
  5. Happy

    Is Ellon Muske attenssion hoarre?

    Anybody offering bets on which will happen first: full production of the Tesla 3, or first man on the moon? As an aside: Snaggs, The Snaggle T Man, buddy, pal, Snagmeister my dear friend, why don't you drop the Snagspeak? It hurts me eyes, it wasn't that funny however many years back you started it, and I'm probably missing out on some intelligent/funny comments because I can't be bothered to wade through your language mutilation. Love yr bopping cat avatar, though after a while it also hurts my eyes. I'm old...…. I fondly picture you as being a cynical but spelling-challenged beret-and-goatee-wearing surrealist anarchist artist. But, because I can't be fucked to actually try to read what you post, you could also be a totally burned out LSD casualty with a huge Grateful Dead collection, trying to re-construct/de-construct a perfectly adequate, universally accepted grammar/spelling convention for no good reason. All that said, you stand out from the crowd as a totally unintelligible but loveable regular. Have a great day mate. (I have nightmares about Elon Musk and Kim Jong Un becoming allies in a global domination-from-space effort, but I eventually get to sleep after dreaming that James Bond or Jack Reacher fuck them right up.)
  6. Happy

    Weed or Hash ?

    Back in the late 60's/ early 70's, there was a well-established overland hash trail from Kabul to London. A guy I met went LND-KBL on a Yamaha dirt bike, came back with the frame tubes, seat, and half a jerry can stuffed with finest Afghani Black. He made enough money to buy a new Range Rover, and off to Kabul he went again. The hash merchant he dealt with had moulds to make Range Rover door panels, dash panels, load bed floor, and various other bits out of hash. The Range Rover had only been on the market for a year in 1971, but those guys were on it. They also had moulds to build most of the non-structural interior panels of several models of Mercedes sedans. The shaped hash panels were coated perfectly, only way to detect the hash was by scratching hard and deep with a screwdriver. Loads of around 40 kilos, pretty much undetectable. It was many years before European customs wised up to it, and even then it was simply a matter of using a new Mercedes S-Class, changing in Greece to drivers with conservative clothes, good manners and short hair, no Afghan stamps in their passport. For the record: this was all told to me by a guy I met. I don't recall his name. I've never been to Kabul. Getting paid for driving a Mercedes 350SE from Athens to London was fun, though. He said. We need peace to return to Afghanistan, for the mellow enjoyment of all mankind.
  7. Happy

    Weed or Hash ?

    I have to disagree. A dull mind will be further dulled by whatever intoxicant the organism consumes. Boring and lazy traits will be reinforced. A bright creative mind will be stimulated by judicious use of cannabis, leading to all manner of good work and enhanced enjoyment. From Satchmo to Dylan to Carl Sagan to Steve Jobs to Obama to Richard Branson and many more.
  8. Happy

    Weed or Hash ?

    Ummm…..I'll have both thanks. I've often wished they made a women's perfume that smelled like black Nepalese.
  9. Happy

    Todays Useless Fact

    Australia has it's own mathematical language. There are 1,000 Fuckin' Heaps to a Shitload; 10,000 Shitloads to a Fuckin' Huge Shitload, and so on. In the opposite direction, a Poofteenth is 1/100th of a Bee's Dick, 1/10th of a Cunthair. And distances are measured in beer cans. "Oooh that's about a six-can drive from here."
  10. Happy

    Anthony Bourdain

    Bourdain was the total antithesis of "American pop culture." He despised that whole scene. I only use the TV for MotoGP, Formula 1, Top Gear, etc but I always watched AB's shows. Interesting and joyful stuff. He was a man of integrity, especially as an ex-junkie and line cook, both very shady occupations. I suspect he realised he'd fucked up massively leaving his wife and daughter for a movie bimbo.
  11. Happy


    I've always wondered why women fuss so much about makeup and perfume. My buddy reckons it's because they're ugly and they stink.
  12. Happy

    Interesting new DIY Catamaran build

    All this stuff is inspiring. Follow your dreams, don't let negativity, criticism or "expert" know-alls stop you, every one of us can make their vision come true. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to build a supersonic business jet in my back yard. I've got some timber and plywood, and there's those 5-6 sheets of corrugated iron in the yard that aren't too rusted. I'll get the rest of the stuff from recycling scrap and the occasional hardware store sale. (Must remember the cans of foam.) I've looked at thousands of photos of jets. How hard can it be?
  13. Happy

    Would you build it?

    No. It's only got half the necessary hulls. The hull shape and upper styling really need a gaff ketch rig, or maybe a junk. Putting a modern racing rig on top of a Spray-type hull does not a racer-cruiser make...…. Also, I don't have the skill or patience to build a 10' dinghy, let alone that monster. Very professional drawings though.
  14. These guys are a great part of the rich tapestry of human behaviour. Hot Rod, this fella, pallet boat boy, and many others, we salute you. You make BS look like BP. Every one of us can feel smarter and saner than these idiots. The Flyin' Hawaiian saga went on for thousands of pages…… loads of fun and then the inevitable bad ending. I like the pic of him welding/cutting in shorts and socks. The build will at some stage be held up after a sock fire leaves him with third-degree burns on his lower legs. Launching will be a great comedy show. When he finds himself uninsurable and turned away by every boatyard, he'll probably try to drag it down a beach on log rollers. The launch, whichever way he does it, will probably shake up the structure enough that it floods and sinks fairly rapidly. Taxpayers will end up paying to remove the wreck.
  15. Happy

    The BLUES

    "The blues ain't about feeling bad. It's about making other folks feel bad, and making a few bucks along the way....." ----- Bleeding Gums Murphy.