Timmys_Trick_Turkey

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About Timmys_Trick_Turkey

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  1. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    8 Bells Jimmy Howell (South Australia)

    Greg and I bulked up quickly in summer of (84 ?), working the coffee grinders on Bacardi with shoulders locked together, the handles a blur as the headsail sheets inched in, changing gear by stepping on a button on the cockpit floor, and then collapsing to the floor, just in time for Jim to call "tacking" again.. At the end of the season Jimmy announced that we would be doing the Westcoaster, and that he would talk to Mollie about a new masthead number 2 headsail for the race, but wasnt confident he could pull it off as he had promised Mollie a new piano instead. As we headed out to the starting line in Melbourne, Jim called for "Molly's Piano" to be brought up on deck. We flew "Mollie's Piano" (a beautiful mylar masthead number 2 headsail) all the way to Hobart, and took out first place with it. It was the year that the Sydney Hobart Fleet had their first casualty (Wal Russell). As Jim stepped back onto the foredeck, after the trophy presentation in Hobart, carrying the portable tv first prize "for Mollie", he twisted his ankle and spent most of the return trip down below with it bound up while Rob Human and I sailed the boat home via the east coast of Tasmania. When we got to Bass Straight, the conditions were horrific and after many hours of no westward progress under storm trysail, we sheltered in Refuge Cove with the navy. I nearly drowned there in a borrowed rubber ducky trying to rescue clothing blown off the fence, but after using the satellite phone to beg for more annual leave, we made our way home via backstairs passage in beautiful conditions. We were miles from shore, in the middle of backstairs passage, with no sign of any other boats when suddenly a frogman surfaced in front of us with a crayfish in each hand. As we sailed past, he threw the crayfish into the cockpit in dangerous proximity to our bare feet and we returned fire with a volley of full beer cans. How he got there was a mystery. Unforgettable sailing moments. Bacardi was a powerful beast when she was wound up. A cockpit of hydraulic valves, and massive bronze cast genoa cars. As we came out behind Kangaroo Island, a sudden gust sheared off the retaining pin in the leeward genoa car. It shot back along the track, lept off the end, and the flogging sheet with the genoa car on it, beat the heck out of the deck, and smashed one of the prize prism deck lenses and cracked the deck before we could wrestle it back under control. Jimmy was a brilliant, inspirational role model, a true gentleman and he even let me helm occasionally, even though that was his true passion and gift. Fair winds and gentle seas after the long trick is over Jimmy, you deserve it more than anyone I know, and on behalf of the legion of youngsters you took under your wing, thanks sincerely for the memories Jimmy.
  2. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    so while she was poledancing up the mast, leaving the helm in the hands of a complete novice, she saw that a spreader had blown its bolt and at that point just decided to lay back and take whatever. Yep, there is enough for a B grade movie right there. Throw in a tow by the same Russian submarine that towed Capitano Rimas, and the world is agog in wonderment at what can be achieved by turning ones back on convention and capitalistic greed.... ho hum.
  3. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Thats it. Im over reading this drivel. His feigned illiteracy and feigned poor grasp of english, and feigned absence of rudimentary boat handling, and feigned position reports and false reports to rescue authorities, his grifting, the hovian trolls that feed him.... The whole thing is a con. And oh what a suprise. He's also Russian. Goodnight comrade.
  4. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Thats all folks !
  5. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Dammit I thought I'd be inner circle by now but the Oracle has spoken. At 1595 posts I'm a tad short for legend turkey status, but then again a turkey is head and shoulders above pigeons. Where are the truly great men of the century, when the best we can produce is a total idiot voted in by millions bent on sticking it up the man.
  6. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    In Serbian, the capital M is often inadvertently substituted for an F, which would make Rimas's boat Mimsy become Flimsy but we already knew that. In Serbian Azaragi dialect, "Rimas" means the " blunt stone used to Ream the mAsses" , but hey, we already knew that too.
  7. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Sock puppet of the year award goes to Fiji Vuli for perseverance in absurdity above and beyond the call of Duty Free. Living testament to the toilet bowl of life... You can only circle the rim for so long. Eventually the vortex of a remus passing will leave sock puppet fence sitters under turd...
  8. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    I read the Secret Life of James Cook this week, (book 1 of a 3 book set on his life), and was amazed to find that before he set out to transit venus/discover the great southern land, he prepped for his journey by talking to another ships master who documented his own earlier approach to FIJI from the north east. He laboured on about the difficulty avoiding the reef that laid across the path to Fiji, and how a keen eyed lookout was required both day and night. He recommended that the best approach was on a clear night, when the phospheresence of turbulent water on the reef lit it up like a beacon. He warned against trying to approach it during the daytime. The width of the reef, combined with its low visibility meant that you didnt see it until it was too late to be able to sail around its ends. Even with a young eagle eyed observer in the crows nest, he was struggling to clear it in time. With Rimas's inability to do anything other than wallow on broad reach downwind, and his absence of proper lookout, and poor preparation, he was toast.
  9. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    You can only circle the rim for so long. Eventually the vortex of his passing will suck you in.
  10. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Rimas disc His mistake was to be a provacateur Russian American exercising freedom of navigation, thinking in Japanese and talking in gibberish code within nuking range of uncle Kim aka Sillius Soddus.
  11. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Wind off the stern quarter. Dark night with only a faint line where the reef is. No sound of breaking waves to wake him from a deep sleep just a gentle crunch abeam below the waterline. No chance of sailing off. No electric bilge pump to buy him time. No motor to reverse off. Second crunch, different spot. Now 2 water spots to contend with. Too weak to bail. No lights to see. Nobody there to save him this time. Lays back in his bunk and feels the cold black water rising over him. Thinks, damn, it's their fault.they knew better and put me here. Curse you Jean. The end. Boat slips off the reef into the cold dark world BELOW. Crab food.
  12. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    He spoke russian, japanese and english, so he wasnt a total dill. He was on the rebound from a broken relationship with his country and his girlfriend. Like most other blokes, he made bad decisions during the rebound relationship and his life ended up on the rocks, literally. He grifted what he could to get by, but there is no doubt that his focus was on escaping from bad past experiences. He had few options left to him but to run, hide and throw the dice. As his life ebbed away while his boat chewed away on the reef, Im sure the irony of his demise and the cold unrelenting reef attacking him wasnt lost on him. Pheremones can really mess with a guys head, but he would be looking back on the good times, but immensely sad that she didnt understand him or care for him enough to weather the ordeals of life with him. Poor bugger, but im sure he was crying like a kid, stuffed tightly into his quarterberth and cursing her at the end...
  13. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    he wouldnt have thought about stormboards, plugging leaks,ready packs,bilgepumps, flare kits. He was probably asleep, fatigued out of his brain, low on physical energy and the interior completely dishevelled, not able to access hull holes because of junk in lockers, side on to a reef with no way of pushing off, grinding just grinding away on the reef, 8 miles from shore. His last thoughts before the water closed over him ? The japanese girlfriend who left him, how nobody understood him and how it is all her fault. BITCH.
  14. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    Wind off the stern quarter. Dark night with only a faint line where the reef is. No sound of breaking waves to wake him from a deep sleep just a gentle crunch abeam below the waterline. No chance of sailing off. No electric bilge pump to buy him time. No motor to reverse off. Second crunch, different spot. Now 2 water spots to contend with. Too weak to bail. No lights to see. Nobody there to save him this time. Lays back in his bunk and feels the cold black water rising over him. Thinks, damn, it's their fault.they knew better and put me here. Curse you Jean. The end. Boat slips off the reef into the cold dark world BELOW. Crab food.
  15. Timmys_Trick_Turkey

    Sailing around the world in a San Juan 24

    .. And when his demise is proven, the go fund me campaign will encourage the legions of the psychopathically incompetent to follow in his emaciated footsteps.