Hullflyer16

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About Hullflyer16

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    Anarchist

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    Lake Erie
  1. Hullflyer16

    Joke

    I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 I said "May I have large bills, please" She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size." When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.... IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS IDIOT SIGHTING We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since. IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. IDIOT SIGHTING I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman , KS IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. -- From Kansas City IDIOT SIGHTING I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Birmingham , Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS IDIOT SIGHTING At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. IDIOT SIGHTING I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. IDIOT SIGHTING How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha". When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent. <b> </b> STAY ALERT! They walk among us......and they VOTE
  2. Hullflyer16

    Joke

    Why Men and John Don't Write Advice Columns -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor girl. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor girl is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Sheila ****************************** Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Walter
  3. Hullflyer16

    Joke

    Why do women have two holes so close together? So you can carry them home like a six pack
  4. Hullflyer16

    Joke

    A man walks into a doctors office and says to the doctor "doc i need help every time i have sex with my wife she gets pregnant we already have 6 kids and can't afford any more" so the doctor gives him a box of condoms and says to use one every time he has sex with his wife a month goes by and the man returns to the doctor and says "thoes condoms didnt work my wifes pregnant again" the doctor replies "well maybe you broke them when you were puting them on" the man replies "put them on hell i was swallowing the dam things" " no wonder my shit kept coming out in little bagies"