Major Tom

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362 F'n Saint

About Major Tom

  • Rank
    Super Anarchist
  • Birthday 08/26/1965

Profile Information

  • Location
    Darkest Africa
  • Interests
    Dinghy sailing, and good red wine!

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  1. Major Tom


  2. Major Tom


  3. Major Tom


    Ordering a Pizza in 2021: CALLER: Is this Pizza Delight? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Delight last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: OK! That’s what I want ... GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I detest vegetable! GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How the hell do you know! GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. CALLER: WHAT THE HELL! GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago..
  4. Major Tom


    One sunny day in late January 2021, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the old man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying again, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine, understandably irritated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it !" The Marine snapped to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."“
  5. Major Tom


    I like the type of people whose sense of humour may best be described as ‘inappropriate with a chance of ruining a family dinner’.
  6. Major Tom

    29er Trap Shackle

    I have noticed that using T terminals for trapeze wires often ends up with a wire failure at the lower end of the terminal stage due to friction in the socket not allowing the t terminal to not immediately align with the wire causing fatigue in the same place over a period of time. This was particularly noticeable in International 420s using 2mm trap wires, it was even worse on the rigs using hooks for the trap wires.
  7. Major Tom

    INEOS Team GB
  8. Major Tom

    18ft Skiff mas prod

    It also does a heap to control to jib sheet angles and slot, as the head of the jib would normally move aft when you sheet in.
  9. Major Tom

    29er Trap Shackle

    The further away from the mast you put the tang the more likely you are to bend the bolt.
  10. Major Tom

    Vanguard Zuma mast / boom specs wanted

    We had a president with the same name, biggest crook ever, the dump would have been too good for him.
  11. Major Tom

    Epoxy brand compatability

    As you will be relying on a mechanical bond ensure your surface preparation is done properly, well sanded and acetone wiped prior to laminating. Properly mixed cured epoxy is inert and will not react with other epoxies, it may however inhibit the curing of most polyesters.
  12. Major Tom


    The wide bow boats are almost 100mm wider about 250mm from the bow, your boat looks very straight along the sides from the bow so I am positive it is a narrow bow.
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  14. Major Tom


    Your boat predates the proper wide bow boats by at least 10 years, the first Delanges were in the 13000 sail no range if my memory is correct. The white/Northampton boats were late 13 to early 14000s and there were Severn and Winder making composite or timber wide bows, but all following on from the Australian Delanges.
  15. Major Tom


    A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.