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Everything posted by NACRADUDE


    Where there's a Will...

    Set up a trust with each kid named with a specified amount or percentage.



    Kobe Bryant kicks the bucket

    You fuckers crack me up.
  4. Looking at a Mac 26. I hear it planes like a TP 52.

    It's been a while kids, but the bug is back.

    Fuck, I hoped you would not have spoken the name tat shall not be spoken. Frank was a fucking trip. Teaky used to abuse him as much as Bull Gayturd.

    It's been a while kids, but the bug is back.

    I think I'm going to buy two. That way I can be referred to as Commodore.....
  7. (540): I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work. (703): But doesn't your shift end at like noon? (540): I don't think you understand.
  8. (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
  9. (501): Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?


    My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. ... The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days." Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer." The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week.
  11. Favorite (206): Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you. (425): I'll pay? (206): Pick me up at 9.
  12. (810): I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
  13. (608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???


    Joe Paternos answer... Because I didn't care if children were being raped.
  15. (954): Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich? (305): It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too. (954): STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
  16. (717): You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
  17. (306): I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
  18. (315): Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
  19. (937): I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
  20. (785): This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating


    That made me laugh outloud. Well done.
  22. (210): Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers.... Sounds like this dude is about to have a very bad day.
  23. (707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you.
  24. (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?