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About MaxHeadroom

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    Super Anarchist
  • Birthday 08/01/1958

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    20 Minutes into the future

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  1. MaxHeadroom

    SA Response Time

    It appears the site is using cloudflare as it's CDN/cache. I'm 3 hops from a cloudflare node, with sub 20ms latency, so latency is not an issue. Cloudflare is typically pretty robust in dealing with traffic. Perhaps they need to move off the free tier of service And I agree that the use of https is a must have.
  2. MaxHeadroom

    inexperienced couple buy a p.o.s. catamaran

    You can't make this shit up! A new SA epic thread may be in the making. From a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away: Totally, fucking, ridiculous.
  3. MaxHeadroom

    Amazon Product Reviews

    Cuz everyone needs a 55 gallon barrel of lube - Close to 4000 reviews, some are hysterical. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum/7040 Fl Oz by Passion Lubes 4.0 out of 5 stars 3,762 ratings 129 answered questions Price: $1,038.47 ($0.15 / Fl Oz) FREE Scheduled Delivery Get a $125 Gift Card upon approval for the Amazon Business Prime Card. Terms apply. Style: Water Based Lubricant James O. Thach 5.0 out of 5 starsBackyard Carnival of Death February 27, 2014 Style: Water Based LubricantSize: 7040 Fl Oz I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip `n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound. We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive. The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip `n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation. To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip `n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity. I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed--a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss. Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising. The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this, likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls. Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
  4. MaxHeadroom

    Medicare Needs To Revise Dementia Test

    She has a large format digital clock, mounted next to the large calendar on the fridge, showing the day of the week, the month/day/year as well as the time. She doesn't know what those things are anymore.
  5. MaxHeadroom

    Medicare Needs To Revise Dementia Test

    Until your elderly mother loses all comprehension of what the day of the week it is, or what month it is, who loses all ability to remember something you told her 10 minutes ago. To see a once proud mother slowly lose the ability to remember the names of her grandchildren, the name of your wife, every day a slow long good bye. I realize the OP is trying to make a point of the absurdity of the medical industrial complex, and I am in complete agreement. But to be living that long goodbye going on 3 years - Not sure who it's harder on - Mom or her adult children.
  6. MaxHeadroom

    1000 Daze at Sea

    Some absolute classic memes came out of this thread - Almost worthy of it's own thread.
  7. MaxHeadroom

    More Teachers Behaving Badly

    Classic Robin Williams quote if i'm not mistaken....
  8. Bubba lost his lease on the dirt he was building this, Step right up, this baby won’t last long
  9. MaxHeadroom

    Random PicThread

    I wasn't aware that Bing could translate Snaggletooth. . . .
  10. MaxHeadroom

    Chicago/Mackinac Race 2019

    Mac race wants the length to be "longer", so they always use 333 statute miles, (289 nautical) the Trans is 326 nautical miles (375 statute miles). The Trans Stupid is run every other year, as it is tough to keep folks enthusiastic about freezing your ass off on an annual basis. Hands down, the Trans is the harder race. That said, the Super Mac / SuperMac and Back would qualify as the longest distance race.
  11. MaxHeadroom

    Rutger Hauer - DTS

  12. MaxHeadroom

    David Gilmour

    A good friend has a proper 5.1 klipsh based audio system and the immersion DVD of Dark Side of the Moon done as both a 4 channel quad mix by Alan Parsons as well as the 5.1 mix done in the early 2000's. Parsons was apparently unhappy with his mix, but it sounds amazing. 5.1 is every bit as good. Both gave a sonic feel that you could have only experienced in a live setting. Add in some kind bud for and even higher elevated experience
  13. Anything by Lesbian Robot is pure SA gold. This was one of his best, right up with the NYYC rant
  14. Equal to the A Scow shitfight from the same period. Both true SA classics.
  15. 1K Daze at sea was one of the largest threads on SA - So large that the Ed archived it. I want to say close to 1 million page views and 200K+ posts, complete with original memes from various SA nutcases over a 3+ year period.