Jason AUS

Gotta love it. $135k list price and the ad has only two photos...

Probably! It’s amazing how far you get with the phrase “A beautiful young lady like you deserves better than him.”

I’m not surprised you had to pay up front. Lamb is bloody expensive! Mutton more so. What, with having to block her number afterwards, the antibiotics and the awkward trying to avoid her in the club during twilight season...

So it has no deck or Interior, but if you tow it straight to the tip it comes with a brand new BBQ and an unused diesel motor? That’s half tempting...

Because ScoMo is a cunt? He’s “stopped the boats” once before, so he’s clearly weaponised coronavirus, forcing a lock down of the northern beaches and all in a thinly veiled attempt to stop the Sydney Hobart race. He’s just a boat hating bastard! At least Turnbull sails!!!

Did you buy her dinner first?

That’s because when chucked on the grill for 5 minutes a side with some Garlic and rosemary they’re fecking delicious!

I know one, but he has one hell of a beard. As long as you’re happy though... I don’t judge.

Well, that Bimini is a new addition and absolutely justifies the $175k price increase. Old mate must be smoking crack if he thinks the boat is worth that kind of coin. Or perhaps the drug habit is why he needs so much money...

And in Canberra?

Mast abeam?

I hate that. You order something useful, like an airsoft rifle or a box of chips and they drop off a Cartier watch instead. Useless bastards.

Yeah, I’ve been the young punk who got to drive for hours on end because I didn’t have existing shoulder injuries caused by tennis, home renovation or shagging the fat housewife next door. That time on the wheel was usual followed by “Right Junior. Fuck off up the front and get that kite down. And mind you turn the kettle on FIRST. Little prick that you are.” I’ve also been the bloke who has counseled that 3 broaches in ten minutes “is fucking stupid, and we should get the bag off now before Billy destroys another one... AND we’re only off bloody Botany. Bloody Billy.” Grey hairs have been ordered, but Australia Post has fucked up the delivery.

I have done a bit of round the cans racing, it bores the fuck out of me. At least when ocean racing you end up in a destination, instead of triangle, sausage, triangle, dodge the ferry and try to get the kite down quickly as the finish boat is hard up against the shore. So many buoy racers fail when it comes to around the ocean stuff. They don't know when to button off, blow up all the big chutes and end up sailing DDW with a jib, bitching about how uninspiring ocean racing is... The rest you can have.

What? I can’t hear you! Speak up, you young Snap Her, Whip Her!

You get points for bravery. That would be very lumpy!

Now... ordinarily I’d use my own rub (paprika, herbs, garlic powder, salt and pepper) when I’m cooking a brisket. 8 hours at 220 Fahrenheit and it’s a beautiful thing. BUT... I also have a large tub of Old Bay on hand. If I just used that instead, is it going to be ok or should the rest of the village stone me to death? It goes on the BBQ 24 hours from now, so..... begin.

6 hours at 150 degrees, and we’re done. I could have gone lower and slower, but starting at 6am saw me serving up just as our mates arrived. The Old Bay was an interesting call. The celery salt was what came through most heavily, but the garlic and BBQ sauce helped to moderate that. Next time, we’ll try straight salt and pepper.

I’ll be honest, I don’t trim it at all. Mostly because I think the person who cut the cow up knows a lot more than I do, and I’ll only f*ck up a gorgeous bit of meat if I start hacking at it.

That’s 3.9kg of beefy, briskety goodness.... The before shot.

You pricks have it all backwards. A cunt is a beautiful thing. They’re juicy and fun to play with. That useless flap of skin that connects the ball sack to my arse though... what’s that called?

He’s the man. No doubt. Assuming a p.o.c. like me is ever let back into the states under DJ Trump (yeah yeah, I’m taking it to PA) it’s on my bucket list. My wife lived in Sugarland before we met, and at some point... I’m going to Texas.

I’ve ended up using 50% of my homemade rub, 50% Old Bay and a whack of Bull’s-Eye BBQ sauce to bind it together and add some sweetness. So it’s now more of a marinade than a rub, but I think it’ll still do good things.

The man bag I can forgive. He was young and stupid. But not eating meat on the bone? That’s REALLY offensive!

We’re not on speaking terms. Not since I mocked her husband for preferring his meat cut off the bone. Anyone who does that to a crumbed lamb chop has no place in my life.