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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  

29ersailor

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About 29ersailor

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  • Birthday 04/08/1991

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  1. Joke

    2 martians, one male one female, landed in a young couples back yard one night. the couple invited them in for drinks and they talked for a while, comparing the martians way of life to the "earthlings" way of life. eventually the young couple ask the martians how they have sex, "much like you do" replies the male martian. after several more drinks they agree to swap partners for the night and experiment for themselves. the male martian and the young girl go in to a room and when the martian takes off his clothes the girl sees a little "stump" and says "I dont think this is going to work," "oh no worries," replies the martian, and begins to hit himself on the head. magically, with every hit his penis grows an inch. after a few hits the girl still looks skeptical. the martian then began to pull his ear, and with every pull his penis becomes thicker. the martian and girl then have the best sex that the girl has ever experienced. the four meet together the next morning and again begin talking "how was it?" asked the young man, "wonderful!," the girl replies and goes on a rant about how good the sex was. "how was yours?" asked the girl. "TERRIBLE" replied the man, "all I got was a headache, she kept hitting me in the head and pulling my ear!"
  2. Joke

    Why are Black guys so fast? All the slow ones are in jail
  3. Joke

    What do you Call an Indian man who's been every where and done everything? Binder Dundat
  4. Joke

    A blonde and a brunette were walking down opposite sides of a railroad track As they walked the blonde was saying to herself "41, 41, 41, 41 etc..." under her breath Not knowing what she was saying the brunette slowly moved closer to the blonde, until she was right in the middle of the train tracks as the blonde kept "counting" a train came along the tracks and hit the brunette, killing her instantly The Blonde merely kept walking, while counting to herself "42, 42, 42, 42"
  5. Joke

    You always hear people saying "use your common sense" but if everyone is always saying it, it cant be that common can it?
  6. Joke

    These Are Real, Word for word exchanges that were taken were written down and published in a book called "disorder in American Courts" ...I feel sorry for the fella that had to copy these down while keeping quiet --------------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ------------------------------------------ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. --------------------------------------------- ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law ------------------------------------- ...American Stupidity amazes me sometimes