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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  
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Guest Boatwhore

Ah, the good old days

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Guest Boatwhore

Found this going through some old files...

 

SailingAnarchy

Re-post of a classic...

Posted By: Blow the jib...trimmer

Date: Thursday, 12 June 2003, at 10:18 a.m.

This post should be in the SA Fourm Hall of Fame. It was in response the lesbian robot post re: NYYC.

F-ing classic!!

 

Let me begin by saying that this message was clearly written by a bitter, sexually frustrated, marshmallow of a sailor. How do I know this? Well first of all, I can tell you that NYYC is one of the highest concentrations of wealth in the sailing community. Rich guys marry hot women. They then breed hot daughters who love to go to Daddy's club, get drunk on Daddy's tab, and fuck Daddy's bowman. You were too busy being pissed off about the drink prices to realize the potential. In fact, the guy who didn't respond when you said, "excuse me" was probably in the process of looking for his daughter. Mean while, the mast man is balls deep in this little cooz, and the irony is the she's calling HIM Daddy! So this father is picturing his little princess getting broken in two by some guy from Detroit, and you are pissed off because he didn't acknowledge you properly? Now who's being inconsiderate?

 

The next item is the lawn. One of the nicest lawns I have ever been on. They have waitresses on the lawn. And they wear tight black pants. And these waitresses all get off work and go party in Newport. And where are you? You are too hung up on the leather couch in the pisser to ask them what their plans are. If you played your cards right, those tight black pants could be hanging from the mirror of the team van, and the two of you could leave a puddle of pleasure on the .6 runner. But you didn't.

 

At any rate, either of the aformentioned girls can go get you drinks for free, be it on Daddy's tab or the house's. Instead, you are sitting in the corner, counting out your last few wet dollars, and getting pissed because you can't get drunk enough to make a total ass of yourself.

 

The New York Yacht Club puts on good regattas. Sure, their a bunch of elitist assholes, but at least they don't try to hide it. They celebrate it. Who cares. They buy big boats, and let young hard-ons like you sail on them. I figure and extra buck per beer is worth at least a few hours of hanging out on the lawn and hitting on top quality stinky.

 

God, I miss Newport.

 

Usually by the time the owner has a daughter old enough to chug seed, the wife toast. The insurance company has totaled her. Usually. The owner has already moved on to some naughty little thing that, just a few years back, was an owner's daughter herself. The pit girl for example. Yes, the daughter loved the boman. But the ideas that the wife have are much bigger. To compare a woman over 40 to a fine wine would be a cliche. I prefer a dry aged steak. On the outside it is a thing of beauty, though the grill has clearly left its mark. But once you bite into it, the experience is one to remember. The kind of thing where, when you get back home you high-five your dad.

 

Now here's the thing that the young guys miss. They are so caught up in the daughter, and her stares, that they don't even notice the wife. She hasn't had sex with her husband in years, and even then the guy's circulatory system is only good for about five pumps, thinking about the babysitter he just dropped off. So there she sits, bored. Then her husband buys a boat to feed his ego, and gets a bunch of strong young lads to crew it. As the boat pulls into the dock, she is standing there with her daughter and a cooler full of beer. You are thinking about the daughter; the daughter is thinking about the beer; and the wife is thinking about you. To revisit an earlier point, the owner is thinking about the daughter, the beer, and you.

 

So here's the play. When the owner gives his, "I want everyone sharp tomorrow" speech, and heads home, you take her to some bar and treat her like she's one of the crew. She'll get off on the novelty. After a few Kamikazis, she'll take you somewhere for sex that's so good you'll wish you had filmed it. Nobody gives head like a woman over 40.

 

Of course you can't tell anyone. But the next day, when you are hooking up the bag, you can look back at the owner with a little smirk. And he doesn't even notice that you have a hard on.

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actually upon reflection this post is pretty damn funny. it reminds of the story an old farmer once told me about a young bull and an old old bull standing at the top of a hill looking down over a a herd of cows.

 

 

young bull: lets run down there and fuck one of them cows!!!

 

old bull: lets walk down there and fuck them all

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"hitting on top quality stinky"

 

My life now has a purpose!

 

I had saved that post too under the heading "Newport Cooz - A classic SA response"

 

Who says you can't find quality literature on the web?

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Thanks for re-posting. This was one of the greatest responses of all time. LRs first post was classic, but this follow-up was brilliant.

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I also have not seen the LR classic. Please post and enlighten us.

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Jbouy...once again we can agree with each other... :lol:

wow is that some great writing!

great advice, for any age.

 

ohh yeah 40 year women really do give the best BJ's!

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Found this going through some old files...

 

SailingAnarchy

Re-post of a classic...

Posted By: Blow the jib...trimmer

Date: Thursday, 12 June 2003, at 10:18 a.m.

This post should be in the SA Fourm Hall of Fame. It was in response the lesbian robot post re: NYYC.

F-ing classic!!

 

Let me begin by saying that this message was clearly written by a bitter, sexually frustrated, marshmallow of a sailor. How do I know this? Well first of all, I can tell you that NYYC is one of the highest concentrations of wealth in the sailing community. Rich guys marry hot women. They then breed hot daughters who love to go to Daddy's club, get drunk on Daddy's tab, and fuck Daddy's bowman. You were too busy being pissed off about the drink prices to realize the potential. In fact, the guy who didn't respond when you said, "excuse me" was probably in the process of looking for his daughter. Mean while, the mast man is balls deep in this little cooz, and the irony is the she's calling HIM Daddy! So this father is picturing his little princess getting broken in two by some guy from Detroit, and you are pissed off because he didn't acknowledge you properly? Now who's being inconsiderate?

 

The next item is the lawn. One of the nicest lawns I have ever been on. They have waitresses on the lawn. And they wear tight black pants. And these waitresses all get off work and go party in Newport. And where are you? You are too hung up on the leather couch in the pisser to ask them what their plans are. If you played your cards right, those tight black pants could be hanging from the mirror of the team van, and the two of you could leave a puddle of pleasure on the .6 runner. But you didn't.

 

At any rate, either of the aformentioned girls can go get you drinks for free, be it on Daddy's tab or the house's. Instead, you are sitting in the corner, counting out your last few wet dollars, and getting pissed because you can't get drunk enough to make a total ass of yourself.

 

The New York Yacht Club puts on good regattas. Sure, their a bunch of elitist assholes, but at least they don't try to hide it. They celebrate it. Who cares. They buy big boats, and let young hard-ons like you sail on them. I figure and extra buck per beer is worth at least a few hours of hanging out on the lawn and hitting on top quality stinky.

 

God, I miss Newport.

 

Usually by the time the owner has a daughter old enough to chug seed, the wife toast. The insurance company has totaled her. Usually. The owner has already moved on to some naughty little thing that, just a few years back, was an owner's daughter herself. The pit girl for example. Yes, the daughter loved the boman. But the ideas that the wife have are much bigger. To compare a woman over 40 to a fine wine would be a cliche. I prefer a dry aged steak. On the outside it is a thing of beauty, though the grill has clearly left its mark. But once you bite into it, the experience is one to remember. The kind of thing where, when you get back home you high-five your dad.

 

Now here's the thing that the young guys miss. They are so caught up in the daughter, and her stares, that they don't even notice the wife. She hasn't had sex with her husband in years, and even then the guy's circulatory system is only good for about five pumps, thinking about the babysitter he just dropped off. So there she sits, bored. Then her husband buys a boat to feed his ego, and gets a bunch of strong young lads to crew it. As the boat pulls into the dock, she is standing there with her daughter and a cooler full of beer. You are thinking about the daughter; the daughter is thinking about the beer; and the wife is thinking about you. To revisit an earlier point, the owner is thinking about the daughter, the beer, and you.

 

So here's the play. When the owner gives his, "I want everyone sharp tomorrow" speech, and heads home, you take her to some bar and treat her like she's one of the crew. She'll get off on the novelty. After a few Kamikazis, she'll take you somewhere for sex that's so good you'll wish you had filmed it. Nobody gives head like a woman over 40.

 

Of course you can't tell anyone. But the next day, when you are hooking up the bag, you can look back at the owner with a little smirk. And he doesn't even notice that you have a hard on.

is this the greatest SA post of all time perhaps?

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Boomer on R Booth's move to the desert in GA.

 

He didn't last long in Florida, perhaps he'll fair better in Arizona. I would imagine the Dickster's late spring and summer will go something like this.....

 

.....moved to Arizona! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I love it here.

 

May 20th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset, it was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

 

Fast forward about a month.....

 

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home and have a Scout with no top to drive around. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.

 

June 30th: The previous owners had the backyard landscaped with western plants. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

 

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected. Driving around in my Scout, the wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!

 

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body, mostly my face, chest and legs. Burnt the hair right off, now I have less hair on the front of my scalp then ever before. DAMN... PHUCK, PHUCK, AND DOUBLE FUCK! I spent a week recovering, and my whole frontside, face and scalp still hurts like hell. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. Fuck it's hotter then hell driving with no top, so I bought a top and installed it on the Scout. Then paid $1500 stinking bucks to have an air conditioner installed, but at least I won't sweat my balls off driving in this heat.

 

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Drove over to the neighbors and his cat snuck into my Scout. Drove to town for some shopping and didn't know the cat was in there. By the time I got done shopping, the cat had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The Scout now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though, I'll check the back of the Scout for stray pets. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

 

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,000 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

 

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this phucking state.

 

August 8th: If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his fricking throat out. Damn heat. By the time I got to town the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and and I smell like baked cat!!

 

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny, Hot and Sunny, Hot and Sunny..... It's been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the damn pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat. I hate this stupid fricking hellhole. Tried to run some errands this afternoon. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and butt . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and baked cat.

 

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the dang blasted fricking windshield out of the Scout. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the house payment to bail me out of jail.

 

August 30th: Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house.

 

September 1st: The fricking monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Scout is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield, $1500 air conditioner, and the cheap top I found on Craigslist. Nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a "flash flood" warning. That does it. We're moving back to California and buying a house, and I don't give a rat's ass if it's next to the freeway. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??!!!

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.

 

....yeh,,,some days I stop,,ask myself......w.w.L.R.say?? :mellow::huh:

 

Unfortunately, we can only guess. True genius has left it's mark though.

Was it really ten years ago? God how time flies. I guess that's how I became an old fart.

 

FB- Doug

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The "peak" of all posts is now ten years old?

 

Let that sink in for a bit.

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That post has been regarded as the best ever for many, many years. I've seen other websites, even non-sailing ones, who also cite it as the best post across multiple forums. Brilliant work.

 

LR's contributions before and after that post were very funny, but "blow the jib....trimmer" took the cake.

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It was nice to see someone point out the advantages of mature women to everyone here - I had begun to think I was the only one who knew. :D

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right, but the thread was a decade old, has anything come close to this since? that is the question

no...although there are a few threads which I would consider distant (far distant) runners up

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right, but the thread was a decade old, has anything come close to this since? that is the question

no...although there are a few threads which I would consider distant (far distant) runners up

 

I always like the broach threads, although the IOR is receding into the dim pages of history. There was a thread I have never been able to find again, something to the effect of "How do you make a classic Half-Tonner go downwind without all that rocking & rolling" and the best answer was "go below and do bong hits until it becomes fun."

 

FB- Doug

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But when you are sitting in my seat "top quality stinky" don't matter.

 

Just getting on the water does.

 

Sorry for being a wet blanket.

Most of us feel your pain in the sense that day jobs keep us off the water too.

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Boomer on R Booth's move to the desert in GA.

 

He didn't last long in Florida, perhaps he'll fair better in Arizona. I would imagine the Dickster's late spring and summer will go something like this.....

 

.....moved to Arizona! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I love it here.

 

May 20th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset, it was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

 

Fast forward about a month.....

 

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home and have a Scout with no top to drive around. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.

 

June 30th: The previous owners had the backyard landscaped with western plants. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

 

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected. Driving around in my Scout, the wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!

 

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body, mostly my face, chest and legs. Burnt the hair right off, now I have less hair on the front of my scalp then ever before. DAMN... PHUCK, PHUCK, AND DOUBLE FUCK! I spent a week recovering, and my whole frontside, face and scalp still hurts like hell. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. Fuck it's hotter then hell driving with no top, so I bought a top and installed it on the Scout. Then paid $1500 stinking bucks to have an air conditioner installed, but at least I won't sweat my balls off driving in this heat.

 

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Drove over to the neighbors and his cat snuck into my Scout. Drove to town for some shopping and didn't know the cat was in there. By the time I got done shopping, the cat had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The Scout now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though, I'll check the back of the Scout for stray pets. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

 

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,000 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

 

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this phucking state.

 

August 8th: If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his fricking throat out. Damn heat. By the time I got to town the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and and I smell like baked cat!!

 

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny, Hot and Sunny, Hot and Sunny..... It's been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the damn pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat. I hate this stupid fricking hellhole. Tried to run some errands this afternoon. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and butt . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and baked cat.

 

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the dang blasted fricking windshield out of the Scout. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the house payment to bail me out of jail.

 

August 30th: Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house.

 

September 1st: The fricking monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Scout is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield, $1500 air conditioner, and the cheap top I found on Craigslist. Nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a "flash flood" warning. That does it. We're moving back to California and buying a house, and I don't give a rat's ass if it's next to the freeway. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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At this point in time Snaggy, I might have to question the wisdom.

thast OK

 

 

The good old days are just around the corner.

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At this point in time Snaggy, I might have to question the wisdom.

thast OK

 

 

The good old days are just around the corner.

 

 

They're not even that far!

I have been saving some blotter in the freezer.

 

FB- Doug

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At this point in time Snaggy, I might have to question the wisdom.

thast OK

 

 

The good old days are just around the corner.

 

 

Ahead or behind?

 

Whatever became of LR, the preeminent literary genius to ever grace these pages?

 

Go the Cone

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People are always talking about the good old days, well I was there and I gotta say I wasn't impressed.

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Geez Louise! For about five minutes I thought the "Hot enough for ya?" post was the best I'd ever read until I found the one about NYYC. Nobody writes posts like that anymore. Who were those guys?

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There hasn't been anything like the Heatwave thread since, well...the Heatwave thread!

 

Seems like everyone of those Anarchists don't even post here anymore (and the place is lessor for it).

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Dudes...FFS check it out around you...

 

We can't do F all these days!

 

What with site rules, CCTV up everyone's orifice 26/8, and politicians wanting to down size your Weiner burger, and fit you into a box, whilst we try to be left field and think out of the box!

 

Jeez, even Google and Apple, have your head down looking at Rubbish whilst, fucking your neck and posture.

 

We do not have to fear robots.. we are fucking robots... well in the literal sense!... but that might change.

 

Shit!.. soon you will not be able to pull up next to a bunch of hot babes and "pull a patch" in ya Chevy. Why? Cause we've all gone electric and have Mr bill gates or gookenburger driving your car.

 

Meanwhile the criminals make freaken hay in the sum! While us good guys pay for boredom.

 

Isis is about the only non PC thing going around and they are on their last legs!... thank God!

 

Nah!... were all boring, compliant, and waste to much time on freaken computers... oh shit! ... got to go

 

Thank God for boats!

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Dudes...FFS check it out around you...

 

We can't do F all these days!

 

What with site rules, CCTV up everyone's orifice 26/8, and politicians wanting to down size your Weiner burger, and fit you into a box, whilst we try to be left field and think out of the box!

 

Jeez, even Google and Apple, have your head down looking at Rubbish whilst, fucking your neck and posture.

 

We do not have to fear robots.. we are fucking robots... well in the literal sense!... but that might change.

 

Shit!.. soon you will not be able to pull up next to a bunch of hot babes and "pull a patch" in ya Chevy. Why? Cause we've all gone electric and have Mr bill gates or gookenburger driving your car.

 

Meanwhile the criminals make freaken hay in the sum! While us good guys pay for boredom.

 

Isis is about the only non PC thing going around and they are on their last legs!... thank God!

 

Nah!... were all boring, compliant, and waste to much time on freaken computers... oh shit! ... got to go

 

Thank God for boats!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

 

 

Huh?

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Dudes...FFS check it out around you...

We can't do F all these days!

What with site rules, CCTV up everyone's orifice 26/8, and politicians wanting to down size your Weiner burger, and fit you into a box, whilst we try to be left field and think out of the box!

Jeez, even Google and Apple, have your head down looking at Rubbish whilst, fucking your neck and posture.

We do not have to fear robots.. we are fucking robots... well in the literal sense!... but that might change.

Shit!.. soon you will not be able to pull up next to a bunch of hot babes and "pull a patch" in ya Chevy. Why? Cause we've all gone electric and have Mr bill gates or gookenburger driving your car.

Meanwhile the criminals make freaken hay in the sum! While us good guys pay for boredom.

Isis is about the only non PC thing going around and they are on their last legs!... thank God!

Nah!... were all boring, compliant, and waste to much time on freaken computers... oh shit! ... got to go

Thank God for boats!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

Huh?

read the thread. Its in relation to the dudes post in the old day compared to now.

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