• Announcements

    • UnderDawg

      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Bob Perry

More imprtant news

51 posts in this topic

Why am I telling you this?

Because it is important.

Go home.

Hug your kid and tell him you,love them. Tell them seveal times.

A vital kid that a week ago weas giving me shit ais a now dea. DEAD.

Yes, I* have been dinking.

I have the best of all excuses.

But I still have to wake up tomoorow.

How unreal is that?

 

So go on you fuck heads with your stupid ac posts and think about what is important in life. I have lost my kid. That isi important.

 

Go ahead attack me. You cannot touch me right now.

I hurt.

Fuck all of this. Fuck everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Deepest condolences Bob .......... there is nothing worse in life ....... pictures and memories are a comfort but sadly not enough..........everybody in and about SA will feel your pain and value their loved one's knowing that can also be gone in an instant............so many medical advances and yet one little virus wins out...............a tragedy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My heartfelt condolences for this tragic loss. No one should have to lose a child. It is just not meant to be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

 

This is devastating news and one of the most difficult things a parent could ever face. Thanks for the sound advice, and hang in there.

 

Your participation here is welcome.

 

My sincere condolences.

 

Best,

 

SW

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unreal that you post in a forum that concerns a stupid boatrace when your world is upside down, my condolences...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No one can speak as to how you feel unless they have been there, I have been there, I am so sorry.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All my condelences Bob.

 

This is far more important news than sailing.

 

Thanks for the advices, we have to have it reminded sometimes, and we hope to see you back here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is the second death of someone's child, nearly the same age, that I have heard and been around in the last two weeks. It is not supposed to be that way.

 

I am truly saddened to hear of this news in your family's life. We appreciate your presence around here, your contributions, and it is now us who wish to offer you our support in your time of need.

 

Please take care.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My deepest sympathy and the heartfelt wish for strength in these devastating times go out to you. I hope you have good friends and family who help you to cope with this tragedy. Words cannot express what this loss means... I'm so sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob....you are correct on all fronts. There is nothing any one can say that will ease your pain at this time. All that could be said is that you are one of the more enlightened people within the SA community, always a voice of calm and reason, and your son was no doubt exactly the same. I just told one of your customers about your loss, and he just told me a story about how when you two would be driving somewhere you always told stories about your son and how proud you are of him.

 

Tornado Cat, DRTB2,, SWS and MSP....I hope you are paying attention to what Bob just said. Chill on the hate. Life is too short and too often cut way to short for reasons we don't understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This story makes me so sad for you and you are one hundred percent correct. It's just a boat race!

 

I am deeply saddened by your incomprehensible loss. My condolences to you and your family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spike was a sailor.

he was born sailing.

You didn't have to tell him anything.

He was just was there doing the job.That's He grew up that way.

 

He was there when they did the fiort oven cure on CON in Nz

He called me, "guess where I am?"

 

I kissed his cold body night.

Now I'm sitting here contempsteng a life without Spike.

 

It's been 7 hours,I'm a wee bit angry at thos point.

 

Don't ever have to go though this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sorry Bob, it isn't right. We lost our son two years ago. It never gets any easier, but over time you get better able to deal with it. Nothing is a consolation, whatever anyone says.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We all share your sorrow and tragic loss Bob: words just sound so inadequate to express sympathy with someone who's suffered such pain and emptiness. Condolences to you and your family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the best Bob, no words about how you will feel, what you should do, etc , worthless....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Peace to you and your family, Bob... No parent should have to see their child pass before them...

 

You and your family have my deepest, most heartfelt condolences...

 

 

Brutal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Parents should not outlive their children.

My deepest sympathies for you and your family Bob.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob, my heartfelt condolences. With the terrible news of your loss, I'm unable to reach for adequate words. Just know that all of us here, including the mavericks, share your pain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks you guys.

Right now I am a bit numb.

 

My "family" is the world of sailing. I thought I could do some best to me by sharing this.

I am hurting. I'm not sure what it will feel like to wake up tomorrow.

I am not looking forward to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For what it's worth, we share a small portion of your pain

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob, I am fairly new to SA and I must say that I have really enjoyed reading your insight here and of course in other publications that you contribute to. I have certainly gained a lot of respect for your knowledge and contributions to this sport to people you have not even met on a personal basis, including myself.

 

When I read that you lost your son today, it became personal to all of us. My wife, Jenn and I pass on our condolences to you and your family in this time of sorrow. This sailing community morns.

 

Stuart

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks you guys.

Right now I am a bit numb.

 

My "family" is the world of sailing. I thought I could do some best to me by sharing this.

I am hurting. I'm not sure what it will feel like to wake up tomorrow.

I am not looking forward to it.

 

Bob,

 

Just make sure you do wake up tomorrow. Your son would want you to. It won't be easy, but each day will get somewhat easier/better.

 

A lady I used to work with lost her 12yo daughter in much the same manner. We all around the office watched her grow-up. Every year she would come around the office and sell Girl Scout cookies (I still have the last box of Thin Mints that was on my desk at that time). We all knew her, full of spunk but not a bad kid at all, just energetic. Always thinking of others. She came down 'sick' her mother thought and she did the usual things a mother would do. But, she did not get better and her temperature stayed high. Finally she decided that she had to take her to the emergency room. She was in our office to let us know what was going-on and Emmy was there with her mother looking like any really sick kid would. Next thing we know later that day she is being air lifted to All Children's Hospital in critical condition. Later that day we get the news that she may not make it. Two days later she was gone, 12 years old. The school where she attended raised funds, got materials donated from Lowes, and created a permanent memorial to her. The funeral was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed. Our whole office shut down, which had never happened.

 

It took a while, but her mother eventually gained the strength to start back to a somewhat 'normal' life, returning to work, etc.

 

It will take a while, deservedly so, to get back to a functioning state. It will never be the same. But I would guess your son would want you to continue on.

 

And you will too.

 

As stated, our words are only worth so much, but I hope the power of good will being sent your way will be felt to aid in your time of distress. Hopefuly we can create a shoulder big enough to lean on.

 

We're all with you, Bob.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Green Grass and High Tides.

 

Listening to the Outlaws right now, and for some reason this one always brings a tear........................................

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

Words fail in so many situations but none more than this.

 

I am so sorry. I lost a child years ago and the only advice I can give is to get counseling. I spent a year hating everything and everyone until I came to grips with the reality of the situation...and nothing has ever been more real.

 

You and your family are in my prayers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Condolences and prayers for you, Spike, your family, and all who knew and loved him.

 

Bad things happen to good people ...

 

Marty

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

As most people, I am at a loss for words. Your world has been part of the SA world.

A really heartfelt condolences to you and your family from me and mine.

 

I am sure you and others will appreciate the special life Spike enjoy while walking with mere mortals and sailing with the likes of you, your family and friends.

 

Most would be in envy I am sure. Fair winds Spike, following seas.

 

Rick

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unimaginable. Utterly tragic. I got nothing at all to write in response to such an awful piece of news. A few expletives have been tried, but don't do it justice. As a father, nothing to do but honor your request not to lose sight of what matters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no greater tragedy than that a parent should outlive a child. You have two lives to make good; don't waste any time getting started.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whe I saw this video I thought of you, waking up this morning. So, right or wrong, I post it. Beautiful...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a parent, as a sailor, I mourn with you. One step at a time is the only way to move forward. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

 

don't know you personally, but still wanted to send my deepest condolences.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

We've only met once during the commissioning of Stealth Chicken at the yard I managed. I got the impression that you really care about the important things in life. I'm truely sorry for your loss. Let the good memories shine through to help you get beyond this tragedy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob

 

Reality check for many us, I'm truly sorry man.

I have two little kids, and your post hit me too hard like anything else before regarding them.

 

My prayers with you.

Martin-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Along with many others, I can't even begin to imagine what you are dealing with. My sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family. 8 Bells.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks all.

 

Bob, we do not know each other, but I thought that I would share my thoughts with you. If it is any consolation whatsoever to you, I am thinking of my sons, our times together, on boats and with family.

 

Last night, while in the den tuning the 18 yo's triathlon road bike derailleur, my two boys decided to see if they could slice a stalk of celery using the bike spokes, Why the bike was there and how they didn't think that it would result in a mess all over the place did not really matter very much.

 

My hope is that your family and memories provide the consolation needed to endure such an unbearable loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mr. Fabulous:

I'll tell you a Spike story. He was very creative.

I bought him a miniature hamster, an ugly little thing but he wanted it.

One night he came out of his room crying and bnleeding rom his hand. "It bit me!"

I asked him what he did to it "Nothing"

 

I went into his bedroom and there was a string strung accross the room with a little car hanging from it.

And there was the hamster with scotch tape accross it's back.

Spike had been trying to tape the hamster into the car and shoot it accross the room.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

there but for the grace of god

 

go us all

 

we are not well designed for this grief

 

as it strikes at the very reason for our existence

 

very sorry Bob

 

will raise a glass to spike

 

son and sailor

 

tonight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Words cannot convey the grief you all must feel, however take solace in the fact you had a son to be proud of and have a loving family in which to nurture him into the man that he was to become. He will be missed by many and remembered by all whom he touched, if ever so briefly.

Our deepest condolences Bob and family: Rollo Hartstrom and family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Isnt it interesting how many have posted in this thread that are not usual posters. They avoid the limelight but follow this thread, Im assuming they are interested in the cup but not in the political shit fight. Thank you all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bob,

You'd have no reason to remember me but we've been in the same place a few times. I owned a Bystedt 30 and raced on Icon with Max. Often times I look at my own son and pray I never have to go through what you are. I'm so very sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites