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    • UnderDawg

      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.

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OulaMan

Shit Bowguys say

296 posts in this topic

Overlap

 

Fuck

 

Ease the fucken Guy

 

Ease the fucken pole topper

 

Could you fellas at the back of the bus wake the fuck up?

 

I'm fucking this chicken, You guys just sit back and watch the feathers fly.

 

 

And groan moan moan groan (while in the forpeck with the owners daughter)

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Anything they can that perpetuates the myth that they are bonking the owners daughter/wife/girlfriend/sister.

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Where the f**k are we going now?

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When the skipper asked if he was going to make the mark - "You couldn't make a fucking ham sandwich."

 

"What the fuck are you doing on my bow?"

 

"Goddamned suits in the crisper."

 

"I'll get on it as soon as I'm done unfucking your shit."

 

"Why don't you just shove a mop up my ass, and I'll swab the deck while I'm at it."

 

"The bastard couldn't trim a hedge"

 

"Do you have this much trouble starting your fucking lawn mower?"

 

"He couldn't trip Hellen Keller."

 

"Am I the only one on this boat with a roll of fucking tape?"

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When the skipper asked if he was going to make the mark - "You couldn't make a fucking ham sandwich."

 

"What the fuck are you doing on my bow?"

 

"Goddamned suits in the crisper."

 

"I'll get on it as soon as I'm done unfucking your shit."

 

"Why don't you just shove a mop up my ass, and I'll swab the deck while I'm at it."

 

"The bastard couldn't trim a hedge"

 

"Do you have this much trouble starting your fucking lawn mower?"

 

"He couldn't trip Hellen Keller."

 

"Am I the only one on this boat with a roll of fucking tape?"

 

+1

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"Look at him back there, that's pure fear. He was screaming that we get the damn thing up and just when we get our cigarettes lit he will be screaming that we should take it back down."

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He was never really hardened CD. Besides, there are no real bowman on sprit boats. If it doesn't have a Sparcraft 'jaw of death' is it really bow?

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"Look at him back there, that's pure fear. He was screaming that we get the damn thing up and just when we get our cigarettes lit he will be screaming that we should take it back down."

 

The chute will come down when God decides to take the fucking thing down.

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tackline!!!

 

Time on sprit boats has softened you.

 

And me too, but I haven't forgotten much. A sprit boat, hiking pads and Depend Undergarments make this ancient bowman pretty comfy, and I'm at the age now where I'm more likely to score with the owner's mother. Teeth are so overrated.

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"go ahead"

 

"sure, any time"

 

"sure, right'

 

"are you all just gonna stand there?"

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"What the hell are you guys doing there back in the passenger compartment?"

 

"Mast abeam"

 

Oh yeah,

 

"I am ******, ****** of my *** *******"

 

and" *** I **** this ****"

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A proper bowman should be seen not heard

 

Sail safe

 

That would be a valid point if the after-guard were shut the fuck up.

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A proper bowman should be seen not heard

 

Sail safe

 

Thats what they are always saying to me.

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There's no fuckn way this things going up.... holy fuck it went up.

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if you hurt me i'm coming back there to hurt you

 

how i lost my ride on j109

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Who the fuck packed that kite?

 

They call them chutes for a reason. Pack your own or plummet to a painful death, unless you - as Bowman - can allocate that responsibility to someone else.

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Who the fuck packed that kite?

 

They call them chutes for a reason. Pack your own or plummet to a painful death, unless you - as Bowman - can allocate that responsibility to someone else.

 

Basically, if anything goes wrong... for any reason, on any part of the boat.... the bow guy fucked it up

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Who the fuck packed that kite?

 

They call them chutes for a reason. Pack your own or plummet to a painful death, unless you - as Bowman - can allocate that responsibility to someone else.

 

Basically, if anything goes wrong... for any reason, on any part of the boat.... the bow guy fucked it up

 

 

fantasy land blames the bow, the bow blames the pit, the pit blames the sewer, the sewer blames the bow.

 

 

paraphrased from someone here... "the next fucker that drops the pole on my head is going to have his gyno reading RAMWEL in his colon for the next ten years!"

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"You wanna come up here and show me how it is done fukwit?.....I thought not!"

 

or

 

"Shut-up, you can be replaced with a piece of bungee."

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So many shit ____ say videos, should be a sailing one

 

Mcmaster university currently has one being edited!

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Someone I saw reading this thread reminded me of something that I had to throw in.

"I Must not punch the helmsman"

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When the skipper asked if he was going to make the mark - "You couldn't make a fucking ham sandwich."

 

"What the fuck are you doing on my bow?"

 

"Goddamned suits in the crisper."

 

"I'll get on it as soon as I'm done unfucking your shit."

 

"Why don't you just shove a mop up my ass, and I'll swab the deck while I'm at it."

 

"The bastard couldn't trim a hedge"

 

"Do you have this much trouble starting your fucking lawn mower?"

 

"He couldn't trip Hellen Keller."

 

"Am I the only one on this boat with a roll of fucking tape?"

 

+1

 

Love it!

 

The one I hear most is 'MADE... oh wait... shit shit shit!'

 

FB- Doug

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After tripping backwards over lifeline then flipping back onto the foredeck, "I'm ok!"

 

After catching a shoe that flew out of the loading shoot, "got it!"

 

"It's fucking upside-down!"

"My bad"

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"you're god damn right i did"

 

So fucking typical that some owner/driver would get involved in a conversation where he has no idea what he's talking about.

 

Sailingk8 -- Mast-man Tommy O slips off the boat on a Mum 36 during a broach. My GF down below sees bubbles coming out his nose through the window as I grab his pony tail and arm and pull him up to the rail. She's dumfounded when I say to him -- "That was so fucking slow, Tommy. So fucking slow." His response was singing - "Here's a story, of a man named Brady, who was bringing up three..."

 

I still hate the fucking guy.

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Dark night chute, pole on head stay to Heavy #1.

Trip, Bang! Pole to face!

Below packing the chute.

Bow 'I think my nose is broken'

Dr Driver "Neut would like you on the rail "

It healed almost straight.

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<snip>

"Shut-up, you can be replaced with a piece of bungee."

You been watching videos of me and my boy sailing? :D

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"She's still passed out drunk, Skip. Can we just swing by The Kitten on the way to the boat and drop her off at her car? You don't even have to slow down, she's wearing a bacon helmet."

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bacon helmet?! where do I get one of those?

 

 

You have to grab it off Bruce's head when he's not paying close attention to his immediate surroundings.

 

 

 

behold-the-skyrim-bacon-helmet-0.jpg?20111213-111202

 

 

Edit - "Tape?"

 

Edit 2 - Hey Wes.

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bacon helmet?! where do I get one of those?

 

 

You have to grab it off Bruce's head when he's not paying close attention to his immediate surroundings.

 

 

 

behold-the-skyrim-bacon-helmet-0.jpg?20111213-111202

 

 

Edit - "Tape?"

 

Edit 2 - Hey Wes.

 

Bruce looks delish

 

Hi Bob!

 

I need to experience the seal this spring. I dunno when but it has to happen.

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bacon helmet?! where do I get one of those?

 

 

You have to grab it off Bruce's head when he's not paying close attention to his immediate surroundings.

 

 

 

behold-the-skyrim-bacon-helmet-0.jpg?20111213-111202

 

 

Edit - "Tape?"

 

Edit 2 - Hey Wes.

 

Bruce looks delish

 

Hi Bob!

 

I need to experience the seal this spring. I dunno when but it has to happen.

 

Any time, Padawan. Your old prof is an officer now, so we might be able to comp you a Fresca at the bar. Come on up for a day. If you want to stay over night, we'll find you nice hardwood floor space next to the comfy sofa that accommodates a single cat. You have to promise not to touch the pussy on the sofa. OK?

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+1

 

A Classic!

 

Yawn. Rusty's post was funny. The video? Not so much (except for the "It's a big boat" line) to start with - and it has not gotten better with all the re-postings...

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"If you want salt on your fries, you can mine it out of my fucking left ear."

He He, I remember doing bow one one particular day when the Waves were going clean over me, and soaking the boy's at the back of the bus. all I could think of was "pay-back time".

 

Sitting at the bar after every one else on that boat (and many others) had to change, I had wet feet (forgot change of shoes), wet hands and wet hair. But I was the only one drinking in the same clothes I was sailing in and was basically dry.

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"If you want salt on your fries, you can mine it out of my fucking left ear."

He He, I remember doing bow one one particular day when the Waves were going clean over me, and soaking the boy's at the back of the bus. all I could think of was "pay-back time".

 

Sitting at the bar after every one else on that boat (and many others) had to change, I had wet feet (forgot change of shoes), wet hands and wet hair. But I was the only one drinking in the same clothes I was sailing in and was basically dry.

 

I'd rather be wet and happy than dry and retarded.

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"If you want salt on your fries, you can mine it out of my fucking left ear."

He He, I remember doing bow one one particular day when the Waves were going clean over me, and soaking the boy's at the back of the bus. all I could think of was "pay-back time".

 

Sitting at the bar after every one else on that boat (and many others) had to change, I had wet feet (forgot change of shoes), wet hands and wet hair. But I was the only one drinking in the same clothes I was sailing in and was basically dry.

 

I'd rather be wet and happy than dry and retarded.

And the need for that reply was... ?

 

If you think I wasn't happy, Your mistaken,

 

If your think for-deck is a place for retards - try doing it your-self.

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"stand by gybe"

 

Don't turn the boat yet!

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck BOLLOCKS!

 

Gybe back!

 

Gybe back!

 

GYBE BACK!

 

No that's heading up!

 

Right I'm dropping this thing now, pit man blow the halyard!

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"If you want salt on your fries, you can mine it out of my fucking left ear."

He He, I remember doing bow one one particular day when the Waves were going clean over me, and soaking the boy's at the back of the bus. all I could think of was "pay-back time".

 

Sitting at the bar after every one else on that boat (and many others) had to change, I had wet feet (forgot change of shoes), wet hands and wet hair. But I was the only one drinking in the same clothes I was sailing in and was basically dry.

 

I'd rather be wet and happy than dry and retarded.

And the need for that reply was... ?

 

If you think I wasn't happy, Your mistaken,

 

If your think for-deck is a place for retards - try doing it your-self.

 

You misunderstand. I was saying that bowmen are wet and happy, while the back of the boat.....

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"I need an ease on the lazy guy."

 

"FUCK! GET THE POLE OFF THE FORESTAY! GET A WINCH HANDLE IN THERE! MORE!"

 

"OK, now gimme an ease on the guy on the other side of the boat."

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"This is my first time doing the whole foredeck by myself. You fuckers had better not flick me off the boat..."

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Bow says to back of boat... Hey, boats in the next class are gybe-setting...

 

Tactician... Umm, yeah, thanks...

 

4 minutes later, 6 boat lengths from the mark...

 

Tactician..., hey! can you get the gear around it's a gybe set...

 

Bow, no shit...

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"Tack the Chute,Tack the Chute, Trip the pole ease the old sheet. Trim the new one. " Repeat , Repeat louder

Are the halyards free?

bow "Ya"

'Its not wrapped!'

bow "No its not I'm sure! ."

'You sure?' Handed the Binnos Bow looking up .

bow " HOLY SHIT! How did that happen?"

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"Are your arms fucking painted on? Pull the fucking thing in!"

 

"Ease the weather sheet. Arse cleat. Arse cleat! Get you fucking arse off the weaher sheet!"

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Bow says to back of boat... Hey, boats in the next class are gybe-setting...

 

Tactician... Umm, yeah, thanks...

 

4 minutes later, 6 boat lengths from the mark...

 

Tactician..., hey! can you get the gear around it's a gybe set...

 

Bow, no shit...

 

Continued-

 

"It's already done"

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"I'm Working....."

 

"That's Not Helping"...

 

"It'll be ready when I'm Done"

 

NOT FUCKING CLEAR (to tack/gybe)

 

ROCK!!!

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Transcript from an actual Jibe douse

 

Ned reminding some clown aft: Topper TOPPER TOPPER! No response so decision time.

 

 

Trimmer: What's the spinnaker pole doing back here?

 

Ned from hiking away on the rail after the jibe: "You wanted to be clear to jibe, we were". Didn't have another problem with the topper getting forgotten after that.

 

 

Otherwise it's often just the usual routine of the guys in the back of the boat trying to kill the guy on the front of the boat.

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"Tack the Chute,Tack the Chute, Trip the pole ease the old sheet. Trim the new one. " Repeat , Repeat louder

Are the halyards free?

bow "Ya"

'Its not wrapped!'

bow "No its not I'm sure! ."

'You sure?' Handed the Binnos Bow looking up .

bow " HOLY SHIT! How did that happen?"

Fortunately a Farr 30 only has one masthead halyard - tougher to screw up a peel.

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Look upon my works ye mighty, and despair!

 

No matter how fucking well you c##ts sail this shitter, I'm still gettin' there first.

 

Who's fucking this gorilla?

 

And always remember: A good bowman won't necessarily win you a race... but a bad bowman sure can lose you one.

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As a bowman who worked two 80 fters and the whole gammet on down, My personal favorite saying to the brain trust when they could'nt process the move I set up was "WHATS A MATTER YOU DON'T FUCKIN LIKE IT", or WHAT ARE YOUY GONNA FUCKIN DO ABOUT IT" , When clearing the line for a start in a highly cvharged "yachting event" yelling over to the yacht who is infringing on your start sequence a good way of getting their attention is to yell

"YO FUCKING JERK OFF YA YOU GET OFF THE LINE"

When ASKED what you would like for the crew dinner " FREE PUSSY AND BOOZE ALL NIGHT LONG"

 

Of course I only would use this at approiate times, Good sportmanship goes a longway.

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+1

 

A Classic!

 

Yawn. Rusty's post was funny. The video? Not so much (except for the "It's a big boat" line) to start with - and it has not gotten better with all the re-postings...

Yeah, well I've sailed with or against most of the guys in that video and drank with the rest of em and I think they did a damn fine job so until you publish something better, keep your yawns to yourself.

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"If you want salt on your fries, you can mine it out of my fucking left ear."

He He, I remember doing bow one one particular day when the Waves were going clean over me, and soaking the boy's at the back of the bus. all I could think of was "pay-back time".

 

Sitting at the bar after every one else on that boat (and many others) had to change, I had wet feet (forgot change of shoes), wet hands and wet hair. But I was the only one drinking in the same clothes I was sailing in and was basically dry.

 

I'd rather be wet and happy than dry and retarded.

And the need for that reply was... ?

 

If you think I wasn't happy, Your mistaken,

 

If your think for-deck is a place for retards - try doing it your-self.

 

You misunderstand. I was saying that bowmen are wet and happy, while the back of the boat.....

:)

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Ease the topper...not the sheet, the topper...shit, no not the guy either, fuck (ducks head as the pole slams into the forestay), fuck it, (spikes the chute), kite's away, now it's your damned problem.

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"Tack the Chute,Tack the Chute, Trip the pole ease the old sheet. Trim the new one. " Repeat , Repeat louder

Are the halyards free?

bow "Ya"

'Its not wrapped!'

bow "No its not I'm sure! ."

'You sure?' Handed the Binnos Bow looking up .

bow " HOLY SHIT! How did that happen?"

Fortunately a Farr 30 only has one masthead halyard - tougher to screw up a peel.

We were playing with

only

two

halyard

up fount.

After a splashy

cabin washer

broach.

Bow "I lost another shoe. I was swimming hanging on to the low side uppers 5 feet above deck"

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[sNIP]

 

+1

 

A Classic!

 

Yawn. Rusty's post was funny. The video? Not so much (except for the "It's a big boat" line) to start with - and it has not gotten better with all the re-postings...

Yeah, well I've sailed with or against most of the guys in that video and drank with the rest of em and I think they did a damn fine job so until you publish something better, keep your yawns to yourself.

 

Come up here and make me.

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So many shit ____ say videos, should be a sailing one

 

Mcmaster university currently has one being edited!

 

Post it here when it's done.

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Who the fuck packed that kite?

 

They call them chutes for a reason. Pack your own or plummet to a painful death, unless you - as Bowman - can allocate that responsibility to someone else.

 

Basically, if anything goes wrong... for any reason, on any part of the boat.... the bow guy fucked it up

 

 

fantasy land blames the bow, the bow blames the pit, the pit blames the sewer, the sewer blames the bow.

 

 

paraphrased from someone here... "the next fucker that drops the pole on my head is going to have his gyno reading RAMWEL in his colon for the next ten years!"

That sounds familiar, although I believe I was more graphic. someone's got he quote in their signature

 

my most commonly uttered phrases tend to be along the lines of:

 

"Don't touch that!"

"get off of my bow"

"no, I'm not worried about that"

"you do your position and I'll do mine"

"keep up back there, I'm not a mast cleat"

"shut up and drive/trim"

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So many shit ____ say videos, should be a sailing one

 

From the classic Foredeck Union shirts:

 

Good day and thank you for calling the foredeck. Right now, all our friendly foredeck staff are busy packing chutes or helping other crew members. Please press one for a headsail change...two for a spinnaker peel...three for a windward douse...four for leeward douse...five for a hoist...six for a gybe or leave us a message and one of our courteous bow-people will get back to you as soon as possible. In a hurry? No problem. Simply email your request to foredeckgods@thebow.com and we'll respond within twenty-four boat-lengths. For answers to frequently asked questions, please visit www.shutthefuckupbackthere.com. Thanks again and have a great race! - On the front of the shirt: The SA LOGO and Foredeck Union with an emphasis on the "F" and the "U"

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Who the fuck packed that kite?

 

They call them chutes for a reason. Pack your own or plummet to a painful death, unless you - as Bowman - can allocate that responsibility to someone else.

 

Basically, if anything goes wrong... for any reason, on any part of the boat.... the bow guy fucked it up

 

 

fantasy land blames the bow, the bow blames the pit, the pit blames the sewer, the sewer blames the bow.

 

 

paraphrased from someone here... "the next fucker that drops the pole on my head is going to have his gyno reading RAMWEL in his colon for the next ten years!"

That sounds familiar, although I believe I was more graphic. someone's got he quote in their signature

 

Was it this one?

 

"The fucker who did it will be raped so hard with a winch handle that his proctologist will be reading RAMWEL on the inside of his colon for the next 20 years"

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Hmm, from the winter series this year:

 

Back of the boat "hoist"

Front of the boat "there's a wrap"

From the back of the boat in unison "it's sideways'

Back of the boat "get it down"

Pit "now hold on just a minute"

Front of the boat "I have never done that before"

 

Well no wonder you didn't notice the spinnaker was sideways, perhaps we should practice that one!

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If you know so fckin much about the bow, A) get the hell up here, or B ) why isn't this your primary position??? now piss off, I'm busy.

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I'd rather be wet and happy than dry and retarded.

 

 

 

Now that is damn funny!

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