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    • UnderDawg

      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.

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lydia

Game Change - Front Page

90 posts in this topic

i'm not the smartest bulb on the tree, but it sure seems to make sense to me now!

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i'm not the smartest bulb on the tree, but it sure seems to make sense to me now!

Enjoy it, it'll make a huge difference to the kids (and you)

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I know EXACTLY what you mean, ed. Welcome to the post-hard-core world! What a great picture!!

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nice to see there some kindred spirits. someday, we'll have to have a discussion about divorce....

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Always sorry to hear about anyone's divorce but that picture shows a lot healing on all 3 faces. Blessings to you and your family Scott.

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I gave up semi-professional sailing in 1992 after racing on a J-44 with some North Sails pros who heckled and humiliated me as mainsail trimmer for an entire day race for making the boat go slow, only to find out afterwards the boat had been dragging a lobster pot all day. No apologies forthcoming, I moved on.

 

It took me 45 years of racing to finally deduce that taking the foot off the accelerator was the Eureka Moment. Welcome

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About damn time.

 

And then there is this: "as evidenced by the picture above of the boys and I" which should read "...of the boys and me." Here endeth the lesson. Now go enjoy your more relaxed attitude towards on the water fun.

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Two Things:

 

1. What's a front page?

 

 

 

2.Divorce.

 

I won't go so far as to say divorce itself should be celebrated. but it sems to me that , "Aw that's too bad." is not the corect response. Divorce means a horrible relationship is now over. The terms have been set up so the two people ( and kids) can begin healing and get on with their lives. Nobody who has a truly great marriage suddenly decides to finish off a divorce. Perfectly matched couple's don't get up one morning and decide to hire lawyers and fight for a couple years. Suffering always comes before a divorce. Divorce means the whole thing went south a while ago and anouncement of divorce to the rest of the world generlly means, "We finally have a plan to end our misery...or at least mitigate it."

 

 

3. Follow up to number 2

 

it may or may not be time to say, "Good for both of you." but. I hope this means the worst of times are behind all of you and wish the best for your future..

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Great pic. My kind of boat race/ride. Bummer about the custody dispute. We have some innovative ways of helping people through this. www.help4divorce.com. BTW hope this isn't seen as self promotion we simply care about children and these issues.

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Good on you Scot. Sounds like a little light at the end of that tunnel :D

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

 

I'm not divorced (yet!) so I'm trying to work out how to convince the other half my 3yo girl is ready for the winter series.

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Nothing BUT NOTHING comes close to sailing with the kids.

 

As to your NOODS comment - too much $$ too little fun.

 

Sorry to hear why you are loosing the boat.

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Keep sailing fun If it is racing, cruising, or just playing around in boats. I see racing as a reason to sail around in circles with a direction. Lot of times I just sail around in circles and it is still fun. I try not to take anything to seriously. Keep those kids sailing even if it is only a day or two a month. Hope it works out well for you.

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wow - what awesome comments. thank you very much. you don't know how much that means to me.

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This is why I have the 6ksb. Sure, we race it hard, and do OK with it, but the real reason is to take my kid 'fun' racing, and cruising. Tomorrow we start the 4th annual North Channel cruise.

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go f yourself :)....now I have been divorced for 7 years and I have 1 boy with the EX. what lots of people dont know or seem to forget is how easy it is to come home from work and your kids are there, spending time is easy when you just need to rush home and head off to soccer practice or weekend fun. Divorce will change all of that, now spending time will be harder, travel to pick them up could be hours, planning weeks or months in advance for trips that might not happen becasue of EX crazy antics. sailing now takes a distant 4th for me, I work to pay for 2 homes, I bbq now...smoking meat is awesome, I hang with the son doing kid things...he prefers non sailing stuff and then my GF. I live on the water, typing this from my home office, 3 boats just motored by the house, later I will heading to the locals Thursday happy hour on the water and tomorrow I will drive 2 hours one way to pick my son up for the weekend. life moves on and do your best, all divorces are different and same.

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Just went through a divorce myself Scott. No fun whatsoever, but there's a bright light on the other side! I agree 100% with what Fred said. Get it behind you and move forward. Remember though, with the kids you'll always be involved with you're x-wife. Life is much easier on everyone if you can both recognize that you're better off apart, get past the pain and bullshit of the divorce process and never talk trash about each other in front of the kids. You'll always be the only Father they have and she'll always be the only Mother they have. Gotta always keep that in mind.

 

So, is the boat still for sale?

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I had to switch the "Type A" sailing off as soon as I started doing Friday night races on the Flying Scot with my 3 yr old. The tacks were not going to happen fast so I just needed to chill and let go. My finishes started improving. Now he is off on his own in an Opti and I'm keeping up my Friday night schedule with my two girls and a guest or two. Love it.

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sailing with kids is great. The only problem I have is the 2yo and how stressed out it makes the wife as he is always on the edge of falling down the companion way or off the boat. Only a couple more years and he will be running with the oldest two. The next challenge will be how to train my oldest to do bow well.

 

 

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Divorced, 3 kids, oldest is 8. This is the first year they really had fun sailing. Going to do more of it. My A game is down to a d+, but I still like to go out every once in a while against A sailors.

For racing, I sail a 505. For sailing w the kids, a beat up old cal 29 that they can crawl all over and not hurt a thing.

 

hope someday to at least get my game up to a c+. This year isn't my year.

hope my kids learn to enjoy the challenge and freedom of being on the water. This year is the year for that.

 

That's a win in my book.

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Scot,

I am separated so I know where you are coming from, it sucks!!! Hang in there Bro and keep your head up. Good for you finding what kind of sailing you truly enjoy at this point in your life and being able to share that with your kids. Probably a good thing for your mental state to keep your boat!

 

This quote was in our MD fishing report this week. I like to fish almost as much as I like to sail so feel free to replace "fishing" with "sailing" but either way it is great advice.

 

 

"Fishing tends to often slow us down and clears our senses to enjoy many of the wonderful things nature has to offer. Each day we are given a gift of time and it is up to us to spend it wisely, for at the end of the day it is gone and can not be saved or hoarded."

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You've got it right Scot! How many of us can trace our love of sailing to weekend trips to Catalina and just hanging out on boats with our parents way back in the day, with a bit of racing thrown in? I sure can. And we're still making those trips to Catalina, now with three generations.

post-14715-050054800 1343328347_thumb.jpg

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Can't offer any comment on relationships, but I'm glad you reconsidered the FT. After the time & effort invested in getting & sorting it, it'd be a shame to let it go under bad circumstances. One of the great things about a boat that's easily dry-sailed is the ability to sit out a season or year of activity in relative stasis and not go to seed, so wait out the bullshit and keep your ticket to salt air on standby as long as you can manage.

 

Glad to hear you guys had fun.

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While I'm not divorced (to the current wife), I too have punted the racing season this year to spend more time with the family on the boat. We have "lived" on the boat for an entire week at the dock and loved every minute of it. Enjoy your children while you can, Scot.

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Geeze ed, buy those boys some better life jackets before the Judge takes away custody for endangerment :D . Your right, there's nothing better than spending time on the boat with your sons. Keep your head up, and keep sailing with your boys so you can pass on the legacy. Unfortunate that A-holes can take so much fun out of the sport at times...

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Nice pix Ed, go enjoy...and pass off the tiller and sheets...

 

Cheers, Win ever.

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Sometimes you need distance from a part of the game

 

to once again enjoy what enjoyed about it in the first place

 

Sure worked for me this year cool.gif

 

Enjoy and I'll see ya out on the water

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Big smiles there Scott, well done dude, well done.

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Ed, saw you fly by the isthmus Tuesday. Was hoping you'd come by so I can say hi. Where'd ya go?

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No doubt ED! There is a thread for that HA HA- No seriously there is a thread for that already.

The fun events tend to be low key regattas anyway. The NOOD's early on were fun but then they got expensive- and huge and ultra competitive due to the cost if your going to drop $1000 bucks not counting getting there and vacation time I better F-ing win this thing or sail our Fing asses off etc.

 

Vs the $30 entry fee for a pursuit race with a killer band and some seriously good grub at the end of the day with lots of fun talk about who screwed up or towed the windward mark around the course with half the fleet chasing them etc.

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It's a slippery slope, Scot, first your just doing beer can races w/ the kids, then you are just going out sailing for fun......and pretty soon you are looking at that full keel teak beauty and planning a trip to Mexico for the winter.....ahhh the dark side, can't wait to see you over here....

Cruising w/ my 2 boys (8 n 10) has been quite simply the coolest thing ever.

Ben

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Next year the three of you can do the Dutch Shoe Marathon from SDYC to CYC in matching Anarchy Sabots!

 

 

CYCSailor

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Scot,

 

There is not a day that goes by where I am grateful for all the most excellent times "Nice Pair" and I had together, as well as all the folks who became the lunatic fringe around the Mighty Pair. That being said, I don't miss her one bit, and get more pleasure out of sailing the Mac races on OPBs big multis and some beach cats off the docks/beach of friends. Fun times were had and life goes on in it's own right. Enjoying your time with your kids and getting more out of the days ahead is more important than the here and now of what is really important ego wise and what is not.

 

Keep up all the most excellent work with this online magazine and know that there are always times for sailing on board other's boats who will enjoy your kids along as well. All the best Brother!

 

Bruce

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I am glad you found a way to enjoy sailing again... i wrote an article for you a few years back about 4 ksb's that were absolut dicks. now i race the weekend races, have loads more fun, and learning a hell of alot more about the boat, without all the stress. keep smiling and keep sailing!!!

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While I never went through a divorce I did go through some serious soul searching as kids came into my life. I was sailing at many of the sport's top events for a number of years as kids came into my life. I backed away from the sailing events and focused on a career and family that most certainly saved my marriage. No regrets at all as I was burning out. Now I have a family excited about sailing and I can be a big part of their experiance. Honestly today I would much rather be at my kids Opti events rather than crewing at another maxi boat event I had been doing year after year.

Engage your kids and sail with them as much as your time permits. For me it has been an incredible way to relate to them on a level field. We are a much stronger family because of our love of sailing and would not have this realtionship with my kids had it not been for sailing.

All the best and keep in mind what is truly important. You have provided a fantastic outlet wih this web site, but make sure you continue to take your kids sailing! That is the future of our of our sport and it is something your kids will aways be able to share with you. Sorry if this seems like preaching. That is not the point. I am just aging out like so many and now truly enjoy supporting the next generation as the genertion before me supported my efforts.

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Ouch, that was hard to read....

 

Those nice looking kids will be young men soon enough.

 

Ed, glad to see that the lightbulb went off for you, before those boys are completely grown...

 

winning another sailboat race against a bunch of douchebags really won't mean much at the end of your life, but spending more time with your kids will stay with you right up to the end...

 

One can only hope that your ex wants to allow her boys the opportunity to really know their father.

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When you take your foot off the accelerator, you have more money to spend on the important things

well....boats of course :P

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Alot of smiles there, good on ya bro! I have had the time of my life this summer, had my twins on the melges 32 for some long sails, my good friend Bill who owns the boat has had to travel a bunch so I have been delivering the boat with his son and our kids, he has been very supportive of my "sitch", and is a strong believer in having the kidz on the boat. Sooo glad you are hanging onto Anarchy!

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Spent Wednesday enjoying casual sail with my teen on a pig-slow Hobie but it was nice to see him at the tiller smiling and thinking he's the cat's meow.

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Spent Wednesday enjoying casual sail with my teen on a pig-slow Hobie but it was nice to see him at the tiller smiling and thinking he's the cat's meow.

+1 :)

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What a great picture of you and the kids. Everyone looks truly happy. Looking at the three of you I would say you are a lucky man.

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My dad used to say "sometimes, just cleat the sheets and enjoy the moment".

I miss him.

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This is why I have the 6ksb. Sure, we race it hard, and do OK with it, but the real reason is to take my kid 'fun' racing, and cruising. Tomorrow we start the 4th annual North Channel cruise.

 

Don't forget to report in to Canada!

 

Great trip and good luck with the weather!

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This is why I have the 6ksb. Sure, we race it hard, and do OK with it, but the real reason is to take my kid 'fun' racing, and cruising. Tomorrow we start the 4th annual North Channel cruise.

 

Don't forget to report in to Canada!

 

Great trip and good luck with the weather!

 

Thanks. We learned our lesson about reporting in after the incident with the OPP Waterways Security folks in 2009.

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My dad used to say "sometimes, just cleat the sheets and enjoy the moment".

I miss him.

 

Sorry for your loss ocs. he left you with a great piece of advice

 

Well done Ed.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

In most divorces

 

The kids will now be guests in their new houses. "Blended" families make it worse

 

 

http://drlaura.com/b/Blended-Families--/5982.html

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

In most divorces

 

The kids will now be guests in their new houses. "Blended" families make it worse

 

 

http://drlaura.com/b/Blended-Families--/5982.html

 

I am not a fan of Dr. Laura.

 

I asked her if she would like to help promote Disabled Sailing in So Cal (she is HQ'd in So Cal and sails). I got the same answer that I got from Gary Jobson..............Basically, not interested unless it promotes their own agenda.

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What if your wife turns out to be the Psycho Bitch From Hell or your husband turns out to be a drunk-ass getting-arrested-for-drugs screws-everything-that-moves dipshit?

 

I know people in both circumstances that finally had enough. Not that I am a fan of divorce or anything, but sometimes the other options are even worse and/or would result in jail time.

 

 

Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

ar118713815108943.jpg

:)

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

 

you talking about scot or in general?

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

It looks as though divorce has made Scooter more selfless than selfish, at least when it comes to his kids.

 

Shit happens. The FP picture and article make Scot appear to be a nice guy. Who'd have thought that was possible?

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Single father here, raised my son from 2 yo to adult. Cruising, fishing and just screwing around on boats was a huge part of both of our lives. Son now proudly serving in the USCG, station Fire Island, having the time of his life. If Ihad to do it all over again would not change a thing.

 

Keep the boat, Ed - best of luck to you and your boys!

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Hey ED,

 

some of the most fun I remember was with my boys, My now 18 yr old and 14 yr old doing all the work

the little guy steering and the big one on the sheets. Kellen was about 5 or 6 and could just see over

the cabin top on a j29 with big brother helping him. we just sat back had a beer and enjoyed watching

the two of em take us up the river. now the USMC gets the big one and the little one is going Navy.

 

Keep em sailing your gonna miss em.

 

FD

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Been through two divorces and one custody battle (which I won). The first divorce and custody battle was when I dropped out of sailing for the first time, mostly because I wasn't having fun anymore and had other things on my mind. Suddenly, raising a 6 month old baby girl seemed more important. Eventually I got my support network in place and started sailing and racing again. With it going back in my family for 4 generations its in the blood. But if I ever stop having fun again, I will drop out again. Life is too short not to be having fun.

 

Good luck in Santa Barbara.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

In most divorces

 

The kids will now be guests in their new houses. "Blended" families make it worse

 

 

http://drlaura.com/b...ies--/5982.html

 

I am not a fan of Dr. Laura.

 

I asked her if she would like to help promote Disabled Sailing in So Cal (she is HQ'd in So Cal and sails). I got the same answer that I got from Gary Jobson..............Basically, not interested unless it promotes their own agenda.

 

 

 

 

Sad...

 

 

Cheers,

 

MikeR

 

 

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I can't relate to the divorce (and hope I'll never have to), but watching your kids enjoy being around boats is just amazing.

 

I had a similar epiphany last year watching my then 3 yr old daughter mess around on a Starboard Rio beginner windsurf board- no rig on it, just splashing around the back of our boat in the marina with a paddle and a couple of bath toys to 'rescue'.

 

It was the best feeling ever seeing her smile and sharing a love for something I also have... knocks winning a race or 18 knot screaming reach into a cocked hat.

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one of my biggest high points was watching my kid sail across mission bay all by herself in a sabot. at age 8. Already throwing off the dock lines

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While I never went through a divorce I did go through some serious soul searching as kids came into my life. I was sailing at many of the sport's top events for a number of years as kids came into my life. I backed away from the sailing events and focused on a career and family that most certainly saved my marriage. No regrets at all as I was burning out. Now I have a family excited about sailing and I can be a big part of their experiance. Honestly today I would much rather be at my kids Opti events rather than crewing at another maxi boat event I had been doing year after year.

Engage your kids and sail with them as much as your time permits. For me it has been an incredible way to relate to them on a level field. We are a much stronger family because of our love of sailing and would not have this realtionship with my kids had it not been for sailing.

All the best and keep in mind what is truly important. You have provided a fantastic outlet wih this web site, but make sure you continue to take your kids sailing! That is the future of our of our sport and it is something your kids will aways be able to share with you. Sorry if this seems like preaching. That is not the point. I am just aging out like so many and now truly enjoy supporting the next generation as the genertion before me supported my efforts.

 

 

Yeah, you're pretty much a burned out old fart! LOL! Hope all goes well...

 

Cheers Win ever.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

 

you talking about scot or in general?

 

I was speaking in General Terms. There are exceptions where a Psycho is in a relationship. But any normal person should be able to weed that one out before a commitment is made.

 

I've known a few friends who have had good relationships that ended......usually because one of them went off and started fucking around (sexually). Instead of saying...."Honey, our sex has tapered off, lets try and spice it up". I think it is an American thing. Sex is so TABOO. We are such a sexually repressed nation , when we do cut it loose, we are considered weird.

 

Most marriages can be saved. There are exceptions.

 

Let me make this clear. I cannot have sex like most (I am a Paraplegic) and I cannot even feel it (15 years now) when I do. So all you selfish FUCKS out there better think real hard before acting out. It is not about YOU.

 

 

I know Scot pretty good and I have met his ex. Neither are psycho. Both are good people.

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Most marriages can be saved. There are exceptions.

 

not really mate - the high percentage says otherwise

 

mistakes are made at an early age - hopefully not to be repeated

 

as a pal of mine usta say - it's better to be lonely, than to be miserable

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Most marriages can be saved. There are exceptions.

 

not really mate - the high percentage says otherwise

 

mistakes are made at an early age - hopefully not to be repeated

 

as a pal of mine usta say - it's better to be lonely, than to be miserable

 

Because that is what people are taught...do not compromise and your happiness is all that matters.....well how about your kids happiness or your spouse. Why is it always ME ME ME............Because that is what we see on the Tele now. And that is what Lawyers tell you too. It should be much much harder to get married and start families.

 

Your friend obviously does not understand "Happiness is what you make it".

 

Having been in a wheelchair for 15 years, I could have been a miserable fucking prick. But I choose to make it something else.

 

 

Pete, Your friend is a selfish fuck but I hope you are not. I hope he never becomes a teacher.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

 

you talking about scot or in general?

 

I was speaking in General Terms. There are exceptions where a Psycho is in a relationship. But any normal person should be able to weed that one out before a commitment is made.

 

I've known a few friends who have had good relationships that ended......usually because one of them went off and started fucking around (sexually). Instead of saying...."Honey, our sex has tapered off, lets try and spice it up". I think it is an American thing. Sex is so TABOO. We are such a sexually repressed nation , when we do cut it loose, we are considered weird.

 

Most marriages can be saved. There are exceptions.

 

Let me make this clear. I cannot have sex like most (I am a Paraplegic) and I cannot even feel it (15 years now) when I do. So all you selfish FUCKS out there better think real hard before acting out. It is not about YOU.

 

 

I know Scot pretty good and I have met his ex. Neither are psycho. Both are good people.

 

I know you are paraplegic. but you brain aint aint workin on this topic, people get divorced and its OK.

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Well done.

 

It's all about the kids.

If it's about the kids then divorce would not happen.

 

Sadly, it always about the Selfish Parents (both of them). The sad part is it takes something as devastating as a divorce for them to wake up.

 

Your children will never be the same. They will find that they now have more adults to manipulate and they will become manipulative adults.

 

 

I don't know what else to say. Divorce is a statement on the sad state of modern selfish adults who have had everything they want and in their marriage they did not know how to compromise. It is a lot like modern Politics..........everyone is selfish.

 

 

 

 

you talking about scot or in general?

 

I was speaking in General Terms. There are exceptions where a Psycho is in a relationship. But any normal person should be able to weed that one out before a commitment is made.

 

I've known a few friends who have had good relationships that ended......usually because one of them went off and started fucking around (sexually). Instead of saying...."Honey, our sex has tapered off, lets try and spice it up". I think it is an American thing. Sex is so TABOO. We are such a sexually repressed nation , when we do cut it loose, we are considered weird.

 

Most marriages can be saved. There are exceptions.

 

Let me make this clear. I cannot have sex like most (I am a Paraplegic) and I cannot even feel it (15 years now) when I do. So all you selfish FUCKS out there better think real hard before acting out. It is not about YOU.

 

 

I know Scot pretty good and I have met his ex. Neither are psycho. Both are good people.

 

That's good stuff Dawg

I was wondering were you we're coming from with your earlier comments.

At some stage we all have to decide to stay married, it's a good idea to talk about it before the games start.

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I know you are paraplegic. but you brain ain't ain't work'in on this topic, people get divorced and its OK.

People get divorced.......but the question is WHY?

I only stated that I was a Para because of the sex part. How many of you, who have been married < 10 years could stay married if there was absolutely no sex PERIOD. I got hurt at 12 years of marriage and my wife was ready for a divorce before the injury. She did not go through with it because she did not want to look like the one who abounded a disabled person. You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work because we are not at 23 years.

 

I think many of you are so lost in the rat race you have no idea what happiness is..............................It is right in front of you every time you look in the mirror and ask why.

 

Just think of what you would do if "Everything you thought that defined you was ripped from you". I know that, that is a rhetorical question because it is unanswerable.

 

The things I have to deal with on a daily basis because of my disability (it is not a condition) and working to put a kid through college and making a marriage work pale in comparison to anything you deal with in a month. Read that sentence again.

 

Sailing is what keeps me going. I try to sail when I can and I land sail, but frr some reason most sailors think it is silly. I tried the paraplympic thing but dealing with IFDS and their silly rules that limit my already limited ability, just seemed stupid. Maybe when my son is done with college, I will try to be the oldest paralympic medalist.

 

PS. it took almost 30 minutes to write the above because of the emotions that welled up. :(

 

you guys better get your heads screwed on or this country is going straight down the shitter. Remember, all great civilizations crumbled from within.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's good stuff Dawg

I was wondering were you we're coming from with your earlier comments.

At some stage we all have to decide to stay married, it's a good idea to talk about it before the games start.

 

 

I wonder what Dr. Laura would say? :lol: :lol: :lol:

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

 

How the F do you find out what other people buy?

 

 

Thank god I am not that nosy.

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

Jeez, you are dumb as dog shit. How do you know his wife didnt lose her ring and he used the insurance money to get her a new one, and thats the best deal he found? Why do you care when they filed?

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

 

how in the fuck do you know why i bought it? and now you're asking questions about my divorce? what's next, stalking me? what a creepy cunt.

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

 

how in the fuck do you know why i bought it? and now you're asking questions about my divorce? what's next, stalking me? what a creepy cunt.

 

Well, what do you expect putting your divorce out there? You know what happens with this site...Stalker..Come on bud.

So, please, tell us the kettle is black....

 

Its too bad its taken this long for you to figure out how to leverage the family aspect of sailing. Thats how I was brought up. I feel lucky Im not showing my appreciation/realization like you do.

 

Youve done a lot, in your eyes...Now do the right thing.

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I know you are paraplegic. but you brain ain't ain't work'in on this topic, people get divorced and its OK.

People get divorced.......but the question is WHY?

I only stated that I was a Para because of the sex part. How many of you, who have been married < 10 years could stay married if there was absolutely no sex PERIOD. I got hurt at 12 years of marriage and my wife was ready for a divorce before the injury. She did not go through with it because she did not want to look like the one who abounded a disabled person. You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work because we are not at 23 years.

 

I think many of you are so lost in the rat race you have no idea what happiness is..............................It is right in front of you every time you look in the mirror and ask why.

 

Just think of what you would do if "Everything you thought that defined you was ripped from you". I know that, that is a rhetorical question because it is unanswerable.

 

The things I have to deal with on a daily basis because of my disability (it is not a condition) and working to put a kid through college and making a marriage work pale in comparison to anything you deal with in a month. Read that sentence again.

 

Sailing is what keeps me going. I try to sail when I can and I land sail, but frr some reason most sailors think it is silly. I tried the paraplympic thing but dealing with IFDS and their silly rules that limit my already limited ability, just seemed stupid. Maybe when my son is done with college, I will try to be the oldest paralympic medalist.

 

PS. it took almost 30 minutes to write the above because of the emotions that welled up. :(

 

you guys better get your heads screwed on or this country is going straight down the shitter. Remember, all great civilizations crumbled from within.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's good stuff Dawg

I was wondering were you we're coming from with your earlier comments.

At some stage we all have to decide to stay married, it's a good idea to talk about it before the games start.

 

 

I wonder what Dr. Laura would say? :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Your disability doesnt define you; the way you deal with it does. Youre still a man, right? Do you want to be treated in that manner?

 

Outlining all the things that add to your stress doesnt help an abled-body person understand. Im sure you know this.

 

Everyone has their issues. Some more than others.

 

Excitement, adventure, a jedi craves not these things...

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Scot....

 

You know how it all ends: we all get put into the ground, or up the chimney, or sent to the bottom of the sea. Between now and then.... your kids' memories of doing fun, exciting, sometimes boring, and sometimes scary-as-shit things with you will be worth infinitely more than any pickle dish. Half of what our kids learn from us, we never set out to teach them; they just pick it up from spending time with us. Best of luck to you and may you have many excellent adventures together.

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

 

how in the fuck do you know why i bought it? and now you're asking questions about my divorce? what's next, stalking me? what a creepy cunt.

 

Well, what do you expect putting your divorce out there? You know what happens with this site...Stalker..Come on bud.

So, please, tell us the kettle is black....

 

Its too bad its taken this long for you to figure out how to leverage the family aspect of sailing. Thats how I was brought up. I feel lucky Im not showing my appreciation/realization like you do.

 

Youve done a lot, in your eyes...Now do the right thing.

 

i don't need a lecture from you, whichever hater you are, nor do i want to be told to "do the right thing" whatever the fuck that means. your assumptions about everything you've said here are wrong - you don't know fuck all about me so don't act like you do. fuck off.

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I haven't seen it mentioned. But when Scot listed Anarchy on ebay, it gave up his account. Looking at the feedback, it only took two seconds to note that he bought an engagement ring on ebay in October of 2010. Classy guy. Anyone know when they filed for divorce.

 

how in the fuck do you know why i bought it? and now you're asking questions about my divorce? what's next, stalking me? what a creepy cunt.

 

Well, what do you expect putting your divorce out there? You know what happens with this site...Stalker..Come on bud.

So, please, tell us the kettle is black....

 

Its too bad its taken this long for you to figure out how to leverage the family aspect of sailing. Thats how I was brought up. I feel lucky Im not showing my appreciation/realization like you do.

 

Youve done a lot, in your eyes...Now do the right thing.

 

i don't need a lecture from you, whichever hater you are, nor do i want to be told to "do the right thing" whatever the fuck that means. your assumptions about everything you've said here are wrong - you don't know fuck all about me so don't act like you do. fuck off.

Thates oune fine sig line rite theire! :)

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I too went through a divorce and my access to my teenage children was limited by their mother and a court designated child protective agent to times when convenient for the children and their mother.

 

With a new relationship and then marriage, I was given access to Lake Champlain and learned to sail. With this new venue, and my children reaching ages of maturity, we have reconnected and now interact in ways that I could never have imagined as this activity is something only I and my children and their partners can share. We have moved from a J92s up to a Beneteau First 10r and the great memories continue to build whether we are competing in local regattas or just cruising.

 

Your picture speaks volumes of how you and your children will build your own unique relationship over time especially through this wonderful sport. Sailing has been an inroad for me and my children, and it looks like you are well along to developing a lifelong connection to your children.

 

Thank you for sharing your story.

 

 

 

 

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B) never thought that any of the Ed's threads would get to the point of triggering this one :

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Also divorcing, separated two years, so far mediation is working. Fingers crossed. Am closer to my boys now than ever, the divorce helped me know what I wanted to prioritize when my work situation changed and gave me more flexibility with my time. Silver linings.

 

My two boys (6 and 10 y.o.) have had, well, a varying level of interest in our boat (a 1989 Catalina 34) on the San Francisco Bay. But I sailed it up myself to the Detla, then brought them up for a couple of weekends of fun on the river. They loved it more than just about anything. To be able to swim off the boat in hot weather and nice water (and have it not be a MOB emergency), they couldn't get enough of it. They think the pancakes I make on the propane stove are the finest things they've ever eaten. I had no idea it would be such a great time for all of us. Then did it the next weekend with friends who have a gaggle of water-loving kids. Just fantastic.

 

Of course, I had to get it back to the bay for the next Interclub. That Winnebago's gotta race!

 

Sorry to hear about the custody dispute, that's very rough. But that picture speaks a thousand words about you, your boys, your relationship with them, and how sailing figures in to all that. Cheers and best luck!

 

-Chris.

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After racing internationally for years, and working in the marine industry,our latest boat is intentionally low tech.

We've resurrected a very tired sailing dinghy - Jollyboat. It has been hand painted, the ropes are cast offs out of the garage, the fittings are mostly out of the archives (we did spend a bit at Harken).

My 7 year old daughter has been helping tie in hiking straps and burning rope ends.

We're looking forward to heading off to the local dinghy club this season.

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I seem to have missed the original Front Page story when this came out, around July 26.

 

On July 26 I had the great good fortune to be about 1000 nm off the California coast, and also about 1000nm from Hawaii, with my oldest daughter.

 

I am divorced (for about 7 years now), and I feel every single day it is a struggle to keep my family (my kids and I) together and well, in the face of some very harsh circumstances. I am lucky though to have such great kids, and our sailing adventures (in our little daysailer and later ocean-capable 6ksb) have done a lot for us as a family and individually.

 

Maybe the original FP story could be reposted to this thread. I gather that Scott is now also going through a divorce, and I feel for him and his kids. Unfortunately, as a man, the divorce deck is very much stacked against you, but with some sacrifice and commitment to your kids you can still have a family and do well by them. My very sincerest best wishes to you.

 

David Nabors

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