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Bob Perry

Please keep Smackdaddy in your thoughts and prayers

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I don't have any details but I have just heard that Smackers has suffered a terrible family tragedy. Being a bit familiar with those things I am reaching out but he is laying low right now.

So, if you pray, pray for Smackers. If you don't pray then think about him tonight. Raise a glass to Smackdaddy tonight. I know I will.

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Oh no. He'll be mentioned when we say grace tonight.

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There are times we need to remind each other that during our darkest days, better times will return.

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Warm thoughts from Blizzardy Toronto, Smack.

 

Edit: I've just read your blog entry. I cannot imagine the devastation. I wish I had the wisdom to offer some kind of words of comfort, but any such would ring as false, or empty. My wish for you is that you can be strong for your sons, and that you can somehow find peace.

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Caring thoughts your way, S.

May you find strength that you didn't know you had, to help you through this.

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In case smack checks here:

 

Word's cannot express how much we feel for you right now, smack. If there is anything we can do, just let us know. You are in our thoughts.

 

BenT & KC.

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Smackers wrote on his blog so I guess it's Ok if I tell you.

Driving home the other night the Smacker family was involved in a head on collision. The two boys are fine. Smackers is fine. His beautiful wife died. Not sure how else to say it.

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Thank you for the heads up, BenT.

 

Lowering the glass now, and raising the Kleenex.

 

Smack, I am so sorry. I'm at a complete loss for words--probably because I'm overloaded with emotions for a family I've never even known. I can only imagine the magnitude of your, and your kids', loss. I wish you and your family the best.

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Thanks Bob - how awful. Smack has always been one of the good guys here. Smack, you and your boys are in my thoughts from the other side of the world. Strength to you all in this terrible time. Be there for each other.

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Smack, I can only imagine your grief over the loss of your soul mate. I'm choked and thinking of you and your boys.

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Our thoughts are with you Smack...life is so fragile.

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You are in my thoughts; I can not even conceive of dealing with such a loss. Just reading Bob's post above made my world tilt.

 

Stay strong, for your self and the boys. And remember you've got friends about.

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My thoughts and prayers are with you Smack. I'm also not unfamiliar with the devastation you are facing right now but can tell you that things do get better over time! Stay strong and hug your boys often.

 

Bob, thanks for lettig us know.

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I can't imagine the depth of loss. You're all in our prayers.

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Man it's hard sometimes, when this world spins gold for asswipes and craps on the good ones. Its just not fair. Smack we are thinking about you and your family...

 

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Thanks for the heads up Bob. I was just at his blog a few days ago for the first time.

 

Smack, she will always be there at your shoulder, giving you strength, I'm sure.

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Thought for the day you guys as you ponder Smack's loss:

Life is fragile.

 

Spike came to Gate in a dream. Gate was having a problem with his BBQ. Spike fixed Gate's BBQ. Gate invited Spike to dinner. Spike told Gate, "gotta get going...if you see my dad please tell him, it's ok"

You can't imagine what that means to me.

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Oh my god. Smack, I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine, even for a second, what I would do if I had that happen. Seriously, I'm so sorry.

 

Strength to you, my friend.

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Thought for the day you guys as you ponder Smack's loss:

Life is fragile.

 

Spike came to Gate in a dream. Gate was having a problem with his BBQ. Spike fixed Gate's BBQ. Gate invited Spike to dinner. Spike told Gate, "gotta get going...if you see my dad please tell him, it's ok"

You can't imagine what that means to me.

 

Bob,

I had a similar experience with someone very near to me that I had lost. He "told" me he was "where he was always meant to be". I find great comfort in that.

I'm sorry about your loss as well as Smacks.

O.W.

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My deepest condolences.

 

Please take care of yourself so that you can care for your sons.

 

Life seems to make so very little sense at times like this but as the old saying says;

 

"When you are going though Hell, just keep going."

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I cannot even imagine...I'm in tears over your family's terrible loss. Please accept my deepest condolences Smack. We're ALL here for you if and when you need it. Be well.

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Holy crap. Very sorry about your loss Smack! No words can help, I wish they could.

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Spike came to Gate in a dream. Gate was having a problem with his BBQ. Spike fixed Gate's BBQ. Gate invited Spike to dinner. Spike told Gate, "gotta get going...if you see my dad please tell him, it's ok"

You can't imagine what that means to me.

 

Now you've done it Bob - I seem to have caught something in my eye ...

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Smack, so sorry to hear this. Sing out if you need anything! BV

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Jeebus - I've been busy so I didn't see this until now.

 

Friggin' tragic; what a nightmare.

 

My heart felt condolences to all in concerned.

 

Smack - my thoughts & prayers are with you.

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Wow. Here one day gone the next...my darkest fear to contemplate. Smack, you have my condolences. Not sure how one gets through this but the greatest lottery in life is who we get for parents. You'll find a way to channel her light.

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Smack- I'm stunned and couldn't even begin to fathom your loss.

 

My thoughts and prayers are for you, your boys and family.

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Steve, my most sincere condolences on your loss and the horrible events you and your family have just gone through. May you find peace in knowing you have an Angel watching over you and the boys.

 

 

If this is a breach of privacy, someone tell me and I will remove it immediately. All of this information is already on the internet, I’m just posting it here in the hopes that we as a community will support Smackdaddy as well.

 

A scholarship fund has been setup for the boys so they can continue attending private school….

Q & J.B. Scholarship Fund

Brentwood Christian School,

11908 North Lamar

Austin, TX 78753.

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Smack,

 

I just read your story about restoring the beachcat, and the misadventures of the first sail. I laughed and cried. You are a good writer. And a good dad to your boys.

 

One paragraph from your tale stood out, and it shows your resilience:

 

"Just then I heard SM asking if I was okay. She was sure I had broken my leg in the melee. I just sighed and said I was fine. I turned to see her standing beside me, with STE just behind her in tears. "We put so much work into that boat, dad". That was a heartbreaker. I knew I needed to buck up for the kids. "It's okay, bud, we'll just fix it again.", I said with the best smile I could muster, "We just need to...""

 

Just like then, your wife is watching over you. And just like then, you'll buck up for the kids. While it might not seem like it now, better days are ahead.

 

The CA community are the best bunch of friends you've never met. We've got your back.

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Thank you all so much for the kind words and support. It's very, very helpful to know your mates have your back.

 

BigBlue, thanks for posting about the scholarship fund. Alicia taught Spanish there as well so it's a perfect place to have the boys. Although I know it's pretty futile to maintain privacy these days, please just use the boys' initials on here. The school will know what it's for.

 

I'm pretty much a mess right now and only have the use of one hand until the arm heals, so I won't be posting much. But I do want to say this: sailors are a wonderfully different breed...smart, tough, salty, and kind - never getting their fill of adventure. This is why I wanted to be one.

 

I'll buck up for the boys. We'll get through this storm.

 

God bless you guys. We appreciate your support.

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Smackers:

I'm still a mess after Spike but I muddle through. I know you can do it too. You were so kind and helpful in my dark days know that I will always be here for you while you deal with this. You have a huge support group.

 

Is there a link that would help us connect with the scholarship effort?

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Fuck. Haven't been around much in a while, and checked in to find this.

 

Joli's got it; words are way to small for something like this.

 

Peace to you and your boys, Smack, and to the rest of your family and friends.

 

You are all in my thoughts tonight, and a few glasses will be raised.

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Steve,

 

May you find strength through your children and the many friends who now share your grief.

 

Ronbo

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I can't even imagine it, but I hope all the thoughts and wishes will help you soldier on. Same with the others; anything you need, just ask.

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Everyone's worst fear loosing our loved ones. No words can describe such a terrible thing.

Very sorry for your loss smackdaddy.

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Condolences. I am afraid to even think what it would be like if my wife died and i was left with my two small kids. All i can say is 'try to stay strong'. I guess eventually the pain will start to fade away. It is good to see that this forums shows so much support.

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Smackers emailed me. He's going to call this weekend and we are goling to have a "blubber" (his word) session. I'll teach him the finer points of blubberring and the release you feel going down to the water and screaming. It doesn't help but for a moment you are doing what you can do. Best done when alone.

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Alone... reminds me of a motorcycling friend's comment, "It's what we all do alone, together."

 

 

There's the persistent element of Ride Your Own Ride, but collectively, the power of the Common is immensely satisfying and core.

 

 

To Smackdaddy: heartfelt sympathy. An astounding loss can only be sustained and survived by an astounding remembrance and honor.

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Smackdaddy called me this morning. He is doing ok. But just ok. He says his boys are doing fine and are showing remarkable resilience. His inlaws are staying with him and they have been a huge help.

We cried a bit and we laughed a bit. We did more laughing than crying. We talked about how he needs to learn to cook now. I offerred any help in that area when he needs it.

I really had no advice to offer. I told him to try and get some control over the anger that he feels now. We talked.

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Bob,

 

I hadn't contributed to this thread because I have no advice to offer either, and any sympathies I could possibly offer would sound trite and meaningless.

You're the person who can most closely identify with what he's going through, and you're a true humanitarian to keep ripping the scab off of your own wound, in order to help someone else deal with their loss.

 

I wish I could offer him something...but I just don't know what to say.

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Everyone - I am seriously overwhelmed by all your support. It's amazing, humbling, and very encouraging.

 

We're doing pretty well - healing up, trying to think about all the happiness we've been blessed with throughout our lives, and trying to move forward. We can't wait to sail again.

 

Thank you all.

 

Still in a fog, but back at the office about 3/4 time (hence the posting - I can't help myself). The brain is only about half there with so much to deal with (grief, ridiculous paperwork, insurance, legal crap, schedules, etc). It's crazy how much you suddenly have to manage in the midst of having your world blown up. It makes no sense.

 

I'm trying not to get angry. I just want to get through the storm. It's hard. But the boys need a great childhood. That's my only goal right now. We're making progress. To that end, I'm definitely going to buy that coastal boat soon - we need some adventures.

 

However, I won't be doing any sailing for a while. Something heavy and hard from the back of the car (a tool?) hit me at the elbow. The triceps tendon was severed, the joint capsule trashed, and the tip of the ulna chipped away (though nothing was "broken"). A couple of surgeries later in that first week and I'm healing up. But it's going to be a while before I can haul any sheets or halyards with that left arm.

 

Physical therapy on Friday. Time to get on with it. Because if you don't love sailing enough to work for it - you don't sail*.

 

(PS - *I'm trying to keep my rehab goals reasonable - the bar relatively low. I'm just focusing on scoring a position on one of the new VO65s in the Newport pro-am. No big deal.)

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Everyone - I am seriously overwhelmed by all your support. It's amazing, humbling, and very encouraging.

 

We're doing pretty well - healing up, trying to think about all the happiness we've been blessed with throughout our lives, and trying to move forward. We can't wait to sail again.

 

Thank you all.

 

Still in a fog, but back at the office about 3/4 time (hence the posting - I can't help myself). The brain is only about half there with so much to deal with (grief, ridiculous paperwork, insurance, legal crap, schedules, etc). It's crazy how much you suddenly have to manage in the midst of having your world blown up. It makes no sense.

 

I'm trying not to get angry. I just want to get through the storm. It's hard. But the boys need a great childhood. That's my only goal right now. We're making progress. To that end, I'm definitely going to buy that coastal boat soon - we need some adventures.

 

However, I won't be doing any sailing for a while. Something heavy and hard from the back of the car (a tool?) hit me at the elbow. The triceps tendon was severed, the joint capsule trashed, and the tip of the ulna chipped away (though nothing was "broken"). A couple of surgeries later in that first week and I'm healing up. But it's going to be a while before I can haul any sheets or halyards with that left arm.

 

Physical therapy on Friday. Time to get on with it. Because if you don't love sailing enough to work for it - you don't sail*.

 

(PS - *I'm trying to keep my rehab goals reasonable - the bar relatively low. I'm just focusing on scoring a position on one of the new VO65s in the Newport pro-am. No big deal.)

 

Wish there waas something I could say that would help. Maybe just know that I'm one of many thinking of you and hoping all will someday be well.

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Smackers:

Glad to see you posting again. We miss you here. Let me know if you want me to mail you the HTFU hat. It doesn't help much but it works as a reminder that life has to go on. I'll even throw in a jar of Vegemeite from my stash. You probably want to be wearing the HTFU hat when you taste it if it's your first time.

 

Each day try and find something you can look back on and smile about. That's what I do. It can brighten a moment.

post-2980-0-48597200-1365094056_thumb.jpg

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It's a deal, Bob. I'll send you a BFS hat and some jalepeno jerky and you send me a HTFU hat and some Vegemite.

 

Here's a happy thought: Alicia was one of the best female rock-climbers in Austin before the kids. She dominated all the other women in a local sport-climbing competition by nailing three 5.11+ routes in a row. She then pulled down her first 5.12 that summer. She was one of the most gorgeous hard-asses you could imagine. Definitely good times.

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If you're in Ohio this summer look us up, we'll take you and your boys sailing, no work required, just step on the button to trim the sail. Wishing you and yours the best

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Smacks:

PM me your mailing address and I'll get the hat off to you. The only requirement ias that you post a pic of you wearing it.

Are you sure about the Vegemite?

 

Here is another little excersize I do when I'm down. I pick a time when I did something with Spike and I try to recreate it in great detail in my mind.

I could see you smiling when you wrote about Alicia's rock climbing and her ass.

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Smackdaddy, I'm pretty sure that you could have a summer of sailing on other peoples boats all over north america just by posting an itinerary here. If you make it to Halifax you and the boys are welcome aboard!

 

best wishes.

- Graham

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