blackjenner

Mocking Ads on Craigslist

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You can't make up stuff like this... at least, I couldn't...

 

http://reno.craigslist.org/boa/3827136522.html

 

"Experimentel Junk Sail Boat - $1950 (Nevada)"

 

 

 

"It's 90% finished."

 

maybe he'd take a big homebuilt catamaran in trade...

 

FB- Doug

Truth in advertising - it's experimental and it's junk.

 

I like the Tyvek sails, much cheaper than Mylar.... you can have a new sail every race!

 

Race?

 

I think not.

It is the essence of One Design...as in there is only one designed like it in the entire world. For this we give thanks.

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That looks like just about the perfect platform for viewing the fireworks from on the 4th at our lake out here.

 

You're all wrong about this boat. It's stupid, and here's why: 1) no comfortable place to sit or lounge. 2) the bar takes up the best part of all that deck space, ti would be better off to one side. 3) there are no railings to keep people from falling off and 4) you will be pulled over by the rangers every time they see you. Like I said before, whoever built this thing had great execution, but started from a bad vision.

There is the 3 ft of velvet rope on the starboard side of the BBQ. Maybe that's where all the folks kept falling off ???

 

 

+1

That boat is designed to be the center of a raft-up, not a stand alone operation.

I'm guessing one of the other boats is on the hook for cupholders then. Seriously, is there not a single cupholder on that thing?

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http://houston.craigslist.org/boa/3811073966.html

 

Here's his ad - a few other pics

 

BOAT IS 95% COMPLETE ALL IT NEEDS IS MAST AND SAILS I HAVE BOOM

Thats interesting, i'm pretty sure i've seen a photo of it with sails up (little ones), the triangle steel tower arrangement was the mast i thought.

 

Perhaps more accurately it should say, "needs antenna tower removal and mast installation"

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Yeah, me too. I love Texas BBQ.

 

I was at a party at Lake Texoma and a guy brought in a really fancy truck pulling a big smoker setup. It was all paited to match, kind of like a fancy hotrod.

The food was so good and I ate so much that late in the light I said to myself, "You have to stop eating!" Don't think I have ever ate so much. I wish that guy were here, right now.

Shitski!

 

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Just for those who couldn't figure it out, the title for this ad is 'SAILBOAT'

http://winstonsalem.craigslist.org/boa/3824417548.html

 

How much did these things cost new? not as much as $499 I bet, although the custom Popeye picture on the sail must be a collector's item.

 

FB- Doug

OH MY GOD!

 

A Snark.

 

My first sail boat was a Snark.

 

What love..................

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There is/was that guy in Block Island RI who sells bread out of his boat, this is just on a bigger scale. I like it!

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We used to have the shrimp boat. He'd come by ringing his bell and you could buy a $5 or $10 bag of shrimp right off the beach. They were so good I'd get greedy and start eating them, heads and all, without peeling them. That's very Chinese.

 

I am an egg. Do you know what that means?

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We used to have the shrimp boat. He'd come by ringing his bell and you could buy a $5 or $10 bag of shrimp right off the beach. They were so good I'd get greedy and start eating them, heads and all, without peeling them. That's very Chinese.

 

I am an egg. Do you know what that means?

 

Are you pregnant again?

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Why wait for the BBQ boat when you can have your own!

 

http://m.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=11985

post-74403-0-36614800-1370754286_thumb.jpg

This is the boat with a built-in barbecue grill, umbrella, and trolling motor that provides waterborne cookouts for up to 10 adults. The boat's 24"-diam. steel charcoal grill is surrounded by an ABS table with 10 place settings that each have a recessed plate holder, three beverage holders, and silverware tray. Six compartments beneath the ABS seats store food and supplies for all-day cookouts. The 11'-diam. nylon umbrella can be retracted when using the grill. Its 30-watt electric trolling motor enables operators to maneuver up to 2 1/2 mph through calm water and alongside docks for loading/unloading. The motor's four rechargeable batteries provide up to eight hours of continuous use from a 10-hour charge. Polyethylene hull. Special conditions and guarantee limitations apply. Please call 1-800-227-3528 for details. 11' 9" Diam. x 9' 2" H. (1,102 lbs.)

Price:

$50,000

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But they only want $35K for the full size one, with the licenses and the website. Somebody buy it quick and get it back in business, because I still haven't got the propane system hooked up on my boat. It's always too nice a day to go sailing.

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I like the Jet Ski delivery option- I picture some Hooters girl driving with her knees while holding a plate of ribs and pitcher of beer and slashing through the mooring field . . . . . . . at night.

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Yeah, me too. I love Texas BBQ.

 

I was at a party at Lake Texoma and a guy brought in a really fancy truck pulling a big smoker setup. It was all paited to match, kind of like a fancy hotrod.

The food was so good and I ate so much that late in the light I said to myself, "You have to stop eating!" Don't think I have ever ate so much. I wish that guy were here, right now.

Shitski!

 

 

Bob, you should try growing that mustache again. They seem to have fallen out of fashion but you could be a trendsetter.

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Bob, I have a very short beard, sort of the Don Johnson look that's become fashionable. My problem is that I have no chin.

 

IMG_0364.jpg

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Keith could graft it on like you do with apple trees, get it growing well in its new home before casting it adrift.

It would mean living throat-to-throat for four months, no biggie.

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Coincidentally yesterday while I was posting Youtube stuff on my old bands, Max was digging around at the used record store. He's a vinyl hound. He called me up and said he had found our album. I told him I'd take it. kdh has a copy and I have a copy so I thought an extra wouldn't hurt. I went to town today to babysit Violet while Max and Stacy played softball. After the game he said he wanted to keep the lp. How could I argue with that? We both share the experience of playing in rock bands.

post-2980-0-26342400-1370816117_thumb.jpg

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Bob, I treasure that copy and it got me back into vinyl. I have all my old vinyl, even my parents'.

 

Springfield is not far from here, very close to where I went to school.

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Coincidentally yesterday while I was posting Youtube stuff on my old bands, Max was digging around at the used record store. He's a vinyl hound. He called me up and said he had found our album. I told him I'd take it. kdh has a copy and I have a copy so I thought an extra wouldn't hurt. I went to town today to babysit Violet while Max and Stacy played softball. After the game he said he wanted to keep the lp. How could I argue with that? We both share the experience of playing in rock bands.

 

I'd love to hear that sometime.

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+1

That boat is designed to be the center of a raft-up, not a stand alone operation.

Okay....then it needs to be wrapped in an industrial strength rub rail.

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Donn, "100 or Two," the song Bob posted above, is from the album. The youtube "play" arrow is pointed right at Bob's head on the album cover.

 

The youtube sound is sufficient to give you a sense of how it might sound through an AM radio's single speaker in a car, a common sound stage at the time the record was produced.

 

I mailed Bob a few of the prog rock songs that we put down back in the day. We used strange time signatures and the lyrics were about physics--protons and shit. I'm glad I kept my day job.

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Donn, "100 or Two," the song Bob posted above, is from the album. The youtube "play" arrow is pointed right at Bob's head on the album cover.

 

The youtube sound is sufficient to give you a sense of how it might sound through an AM radio's single speaker in a car, a common sound stage at the time the record was produced.

 

I mailed Bob a few of the prog rock songs that we put down back in the day. We used strange time signatures and the lyrics were about physics--protons and shit. I'm glad I kept my day job.

thanks. that was cool, FSVO "cool". :)

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Farting Sloths Vent Offensively

 

Fiduciary Sleuthing Violates Ordinances

 

Flamboyant Scumbags Vote Often

 

I dunno.

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http://houston.craigslist.org/boa/3811073966.html

 

Here's his ad - a few other pics

 

uh oh...hwsrn might show up now that we've seen the name of the boat

...and now that Jaguar and Land Rover are owned by the Indian concern Tata, I can't help but think there's a marketing marriage made in heaven, somehow, with this boat and its name.

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You can't make up stuff like this... at least, I couldn't...

 

http://reno.craigslist.org/boa/3827136522.html

 

"Experimentel Junk Sail Boat - $1950 (Nevada)"

 

3L43F33He5I55G95Kfd5o4e4b5a6a040d1619.jp

 

"It's 90% finished."

 

maybe he'd take a big homebuilt catamaran in trade...

 

FB- Doug

Truth in advertising - it's experimental and it's junk.

Charlie indeed does not surf.

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FSVO?

 

For Some Value Of

 

Meaning that, to others, they may think it is on a different part of the continuum of cool.

 

I still think it's cool on a couple levels. I liked the vocals, for instance. Then there is the simple fact that your work is pressed into vinyl.

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Ish:

No but I am working on a 28' version of one of my cartoons that will be built, cold molded by an old friend of mine. He's a very skilled builder and previously built a cold molded Nordic 44. He came for a vist. We chatted for a while and then he said, "I want to build this." and unfolded a shet of paper with a cartoon on it. I knew it would happen sooner or later. The little cartoon actually translated very nicely into a small motor sailer.

 

post-2980-0-14668700-1371133580_thumb.jpg

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Ever since I first saw your cartoon boats I've been wishing someone would build one of them - they would make a fantastic boat for boys - nice blend of fantasy & reality.

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Okay, so it's Ebay, not craigslist, but still.......

 

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Sailboat-Hull-Ranger-37-Garry-Mull-Design-No-reserve-/221240077418?pt=Sailboats&hash=item3382efac6a

and

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/7-300-lb-Lead-Keel-Sailboat-price-per-pound-/221240065503?pt=Sailboats&hash=item3382ef7ddf

 

What the hell is the point in selling a Ranger 37 hull in one listing and describing it as an easy fixer and the keel in a separate listing (for .99 buy it now)?

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Okay, so it's Ebay, not craigslist, but still.......

 

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Sailboat-Hull-Ranger-37-Garry-Mull-Design-No-reserve-/221240077418?pt=Sailboats&hash=item3382efac6a

and

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/7-300-lb-Lead-Keel-Sailboat-price-per-pound-/221240065503?pt=Sailboats&hash=item3382ef7ddf

 

What the hell is the point in selling a Ranger 37 hull in one listing and describing it as an easy fixer and the keel in a separate listing (for .99 buy it now)?

What's with the bids on the boat without bids on the keel? Going to part it out/want the rig?

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What blows my mind is that some of the adds have been taken down by the posters indicating that of all things, they SOLD them.

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That cat might give a person ailurophobia.

 

I think Ailuros would be a good catboat name. Not such a good catamaran name.

 

Admit it - you've been waiting a long time to use that one. ;)

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That cat might give a person ailurophobia.

 

I think Ailuros would be a good catboat name. Not such a good catamaran name.

 

Admit it - you've been waiting a long time to use that one. ;)

 

 

No, you misoverestimate my patience. I only learned the word the night before.

 

Hey Bob, what part of catamaran history did that boat play anyway? It looks a bit like a cross between a Hobie and my friend Joe's old Cougar catamaran.

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That cat might give a person ailurophobia.

 

I think Ailuros would be a good catboat name. Not such a good catamaran name.

 

Admit it - you've been waiting a long time to use that one. ;)

 

 

No, you misoverestimate my patience. I only learned the word the night before.

 

Hey Bob, what part of catamaran history did that boat play anyway? It looks a bit like a cross between a Hobie and my friend Joe's old Cougar catamaran.

 

The P-Cat was one of the first (the first? I don't remember whether it came before the Shark) production cats that actually sailed, and was really enough faster to attract the right kind of attention. They're heavy by modern standards, but they go pretty well, they can sail to windward, they can be steered.

 

It's what Hobie Alter had when it occurred to him to design & build the Hobie 16 ( a big step backwards IMHO).

 

FB- Doug

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Did it have bilge boards, dagger boards, or what? Not having those things was nice in the surf.

 

Dunno, I think it had centerboards in each hull.

 

And your point is well taken- for playing in the surf, a sailboat doesn't need to go to windward efficiently, or steer effectively, etc etc.

 

The main improvement Mr. Alter had in mind (according to what I recall of what he said, back in the day) was making it lighter so he didn't need a crowd to pull it up out of the water. A beach boat which can be lifted & carried by it's own crew is a big plus.

 

FB- Doug

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You should read Smack's adventures in redoing a Hobie - it's on SailNet. He did a great looking econo rebuild of a cheap one. Launching day was hilarious. The coup de gras was delivered by a power boater who asked "Have you guys ever sailed before?" :lol:

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You should read Smack's adventures in redoing a Hobie - it's on SailNet. He did a great looking econo rebuild of a cheap one. Launching day was hilarious. The coup de gras was delivered by a power boater who asked "Have you guys ever sailed before?" :lol:

 

 

Hah! And Ouch! I've made my share of humiliating mistakes, but never quite got someone to ask whether I had ever sailed before.

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I agree with Tom, I'd take the dogs long but would only accept the boat at gunpoint... nah, I'd take the boat for $10k... maybe $5k if I was feeling mellow & it was a slow day...

 

3E73G93Fe5K25He5J6d4jdf8c6868b7921bd9.jp

 

From ad: "It has never sat on the ground, but the hull is pretty rough. The value of this vessel is in the rigging and driveline components."

 

I'd say the value is in the drain pipe, and the dogs. Might be able to make a nice lamp out of that shippy-looking wheel. You can't even make a mooring out of old engines any more, the enviro boys are always looking for something.

 

Kind of a shame, Johnson Boat Works built some great boats.

 

FB- Doug

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No pictures, but what a great bit of misinformation to start with.

 

 

Sailboat Fast Passage 39 - $85000 (Ladysmith BC) Fast Passage 39. Offshore capable
Phil Brooks Design
Please contact for information

 

That should read "please contact for misinformation"

 

You'd think it would sell faster if they actually listed the right designer, some guy called William Garden that nobody has ever heard of...

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No pictures, but what a great bit of misinformation to start with.

 

 

Sailboat Fast Passage 39 - $85000 (Ladysmith BC) Fast Passage 39. Offshore capable

Phil Brooks Design

Please contact for information

 

That should read "please contact for misinformation"

 

You'd think it would sell faster if they actually listed the right designer, some guy called William Garden that nobody has ever heard of...

I thought Stan Huntingford designed my Fortune 30 but apparently it was actually that guy named Phil Brooks as well. He's a very busy designer.

 

(For the record, Philbrooks is a well regarded yard on Vancouver Island)

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$6000 bathtub anyone? (OK, it's not Craigslist but it's a perfect match o the spirit of this thread)

 

main.jpg

This is a 40 foot Gulfstar Hull. It needs keel weight and build. Equipment: None

 

http://www.sailboatlistings.com/view/22626

 

That's the thing I love about these ads. Everyone is so *proud* of the thing they are selling. Very, very proud.

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If it looked that rough in 2007, it has to be a lot worse now.

 

What's the "never sat on the ground" statement mean? It's obviously sitting on the ground in the photo.

 

You don't use levitation bunks? Luddite.

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