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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  

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Gouvernail

Pissed Off Trailer Maintenance Customer

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So this guy came in this morning and asked if we maintained trailers. He wanted new lights, wires, bunks, bearing grease, and etc.

I told him we probably shouldn't as we were busy and the only guy I had available who knew how to do all the work fixes breaks.

 

The customer said he really wanted it done and would gladly pay for the guy all day so despite my concerns we let our guy work on the trailer.

 

So, around 5 pm the customer comes on and doesn't want to pay for the guy's day.

 

I pointed out he had put on all the new stuff exactly as requested.

 

The customer stood there looked straight at me and hollered about all the smashed lenses and the crunched bunk boards.

 

I told him, between irate screams, " Everything is exactly as I suggested it would be and you said you wanted to hire our guy and pay him for the day."

 

Still no offer to pay.

 

"Look man! I told you he fixes breaks and that is exactly what he did!!!"

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Then there was the sailmaker who came by the yacht club, repaired a few spinnakers , got out a machine gun, leveled half the members, and departed.

 

The headline in the paper was: Local Man Sews Shoots and Leaves

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One of our guys had a full time job putting cleaning up customers and taking boats back to marinas.....

 

 

He slips a lot but he never wrenches anything

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I knew a guy who built hotel furniture from that fancy plastic substitute stuff.

He would give plastic benches and chairs to hotel managers in exchange for a place to sleep and breakfast.

 

The guy used starboard to get port board

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Two men contracted to paint a rather large boat that served as a floating church Being very frugal(cheap), they pinched and scraped to spend the absolute minimum on materials. Then, when they were only partway through the job, they determined that they did not, after all, have enough paint to complete the job. Not wishing to spend any more money if they didn't absolutely have to,they decided they would just dilute the water-based paint they were using so that it would last longer. They did this a couple more times before they finished, which caused striping on the church boat as the paint got lighter each time it was thinned. The painters had just about gotten to the top of the steeple, when, all of a sudden, the sky darkened, and the rain started to pour down. As the paint streamed down the sides of the church boat , a voice boomed from the heavens: "Repaint, you thinners! Repaint, and thin no more!"

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Oh Gouv.........After that one, man, you need some professional (or other) help!

Cheers,

Jim ;)

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I could use an absolutely tireless and enthusiastic proud craftsman who is fabulous at reading my mind so he / she will accomplish exactly accordingbto my plans three times the work I do myself while barely caring about receiving a paycheck.

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"My parents said I could be anything I wanted so I became an asshole."

A bumper sticker in Kinston, NC on 6/29/13

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