• Announcements

    • Zapata

      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  
Max Rockatansky

never fuckin' mind

Recommended Posts

 

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It all began innocently enough on Tuesday. I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desktop, and reading my name on the glass of my office door--"regnaD kciN."

my secretary lay snoring on the Floor her long beautiful gems pinioned under the couch. I didn’t hear him enter but my Nostrils flared at the smell of his perfume. Pyramid Petchulli! There was only one joker in LA sensitive enough to wear that scent and I had to find out who he was.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

Is it plugged in?

LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

 

 

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

Is it plugged in?

LOL

 

 

Comments look good, but all I'm getting is the farking youtube donut...

 

 

B*rstards. Try this:

 

 

or this - but not as good...

 

http://www.comicrelief.com/about-us/video-vault/computer-says-no

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ya really missed it .. shoulda been here yesterday

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Thursday, Sunday, Saturday"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your life expectancy:

With me......here

without me....................here

With me........here

Without me....................here

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Stop"! It wasn't always like that. No, first they had to come from little towns with strange names like: Smegma, Spasmodic, Frog, and the far flung Isles of Langerhans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers, who’ll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers, who’ll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your yo' ass.

 

fixed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, don't worry about it. I mean, what could happen? Of course, my design could have a few flaws. And after a few weeks, Will and I discover we hate each other. Abigail proves to be the flake of the century; she can't raise a dime. A giant sandstorm comes along, knocks this place over, we go broke, the IRS throws us in jail. The State Department wants to throw me out of the country. But I fool them: in jail, I catch pneumonia and die.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't understand, I coulda been somebody, I coulda had class, I coulda been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't run from the wind. You trim your sails, face the music, and keep going.

 

 

[edit] I wonder if Capt Walbridge had been watching "White Squall" before they set off into Sandy [/edit]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote ‘em all, I say, ’cause this is true: if you haven’t gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you’re just letting the best in life pass you by.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fail...

Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?

 

.#98

Posted 03 August 2013 - 08:49 PM

Think ya used enough dynamite there Butch?

I stand dejected.

 

In expiation:

 

"OK. You can be Gus."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nurse Lieutenant Maggie Haynes:

In Harm's Way (1065)

 

There once was a lady from Niger.

Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.

They came back from the ride With the lady inside.

And the smile on the face of the tiger.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why don't you just join the union, we'll go upstairs together and cap daddy!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you saying Ni to that old woman?

 

Um, yes.

 

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.

 

Did you say shrubberies?

 

Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now listen to me you benighted muckers. We're going to teach you soldiering. The world's noblest profession. When we're done with you, you'll be able to slaughter your enemies like civilized men.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nobody goes there anymore, its too popular.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's what I love about these high school girls, I get older and they stay the same age.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Winter is coming

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why don't you just join the union, we'll go upstairs together and cap daddy!

 

I have what they call a certain "moral flexibility"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fail! in a number of ways

Do you mind if we dance with your dates?

 

av-2311.jpg?_r=1173833928 Posted by hobot on 03 August 2013 - 04:04 AM in Sailing Anarchy

"Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Why don't you just join the union, we'll go upstairs together and cap daddy!

 

I have what they call a certain "moral flexibility"

 

Oh! Good for you, it's a growth industry!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

 

 

>I am Jack's smirking revenge.

 

 

Sorry, friend, but I called it first, so I get to be Jack's smirking revenge.

 

 

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

 

 

"1376073301">

>I am Jack's smirking r

evenge.

 

 

Sorry, friend, but I called it first, so I get to be Jack's smirking revenge.

 

I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

 

 

Hope it was satisfying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. It was a rifle shot in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It's the only thing I was ever good at. Well, see ya tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some thoughts have a certain sound, that being the equivalent to a form. Through sound and motion, you will be able to paralyze nerves, shatter bones, set fires, suffocate an enemy or burst his organs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now listen to me and listen to me good! When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites