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aA

a happy foredeck

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he used to complain about no cup holders in frontierland...

wre0j9.jpg

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Sail an offshore multi and you don't have to worry about it.

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Jeez, last time I sailed that boat it didn't even have a bow hatch...

 

How does it handle the MGD bottles?

 

bottles or cans, it's all good. of course now the bow guy says a sando pocket would be appreciated...

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Jeeze! Don't any of youse guys know any people with toddlers?

Sippy Cups, man! Sippy Cups!
sippy_cup.jpg


Fill 'em with rum and OJ and ice.
Slap some velcro on the bottom, then stick velcro right next to the mast. Out of the way yet instantly accessible! derp.pngyeah.gif

Or you can always go the spectra lanyard route:
sippy_volvo.jpg

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Omg this is genius. Needs to happen for me...preferably sized for a solo cup of gin and tonic!

G&T goes in an insulated sports bottle. Can do double duty as a martini shaker after the race....

Something like this:

Think-Baby-Thinksport-Insulated-Sports-B

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Omg this is genius. Needs to happen for me...preferably sized for a solo cup of gin and tonic!

G&T goes in an insulated sports bottle. Can do double duty as a martini shaker after the race....

Something like this:

Think-Baby-Thinksport-Insulated-Sports-B

 

 

Looks rather phallic. She might approve.

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Jeeze! Don't any of youse guys know any people with toddlers?

 

Sippy Cups, man! Sippy Cups!sippy_cup.jpg

 

 

 

 

Fill 'em with rum and OJ and ice.

Slap some velcro on the bottom, then stick velcro right next to the mast. Out of the way yet instantly accessible! derp.pngyeah.gif

 

 

 

Is there really a foredeck sippy cup or did you photoshop that? Hahaha totally want.

 

 

 

Omg this is genius. Needs to happen for me...preferably sized for a solo cup of gin and tonic!

G&T goes in an insulated sports bottle. Can do double duty as a martini shaker after the race....

Something like this:

Think-Baby-Thinksport-Insulated-Sports-B

I have no idea why I didnt think to do this.

 

 

 

....shame on you, PeterHuston! You owe me a Hendricks for that one!

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That's thinking inside the box, I know what I want Santa to bring me for Christmas... :)

 

Oh wait, we are probably getting coal after last year... :(

post-23512-0-48170900-1413851740_thumb.jpg

post-23512-0-48170900-1413851740_thumb.jpg

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aA, you are a god among men.

 

Timo42.... fuck i think thats hilarious so i cant even tell you in any seriousness at all to seek help.

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That's thinking inside the box, I know what I want Santa to bring me for Christmas... :)

 

Oh wait, we are probably getting coal after last year... :(

 

I wanted to buy that Capo so bad..

 

I wish my Moore had that cup holder set up!

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Who the hell cares if the foredeck is happy fer kjrist sakes? Just do your job, do it right, do it fast and then get your ass back on the rail and hike!

You want happy? Take up bird watching.

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Who the hell cares if the foredeck is happy fer kjrist sakes? Just do your job, do it right, do it fast and then get your ass back on the rail and hike!

You want happy? Take up bird watching.

 

i care, i really do

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"Drops ass& poo spores"? What the hell does that mean anyways?

You can't treat bow like the back of the bus people. They are Bow People. They view the world differently, at least the good ones do. They see things in an "It's them back there against us up here" kind of way. The real reason their rigging knives are on lanyards attached to their belts is so they can't throw them at the afterguard or pit.... even the pit is suspect, never turn your back on the pitman, never. All nice to your face but in reality they really are just agents for the bow people. None of them can be fully trusted, and they like it that way.

 

Geeze you are how old and you don't know this??

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The bowman gets passed up the rail the wrapper from the empty biscuit packet and the last mouthful from the water bottle, containing roughly half a mouthful of backwashed biscuit crumbs. And they're grateful.

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"Drops ass& poo spores"? What the hell does that mean anyways?

You can't treat bow like the back of the bus people. They are Bow People. They view the world differently, at least the good ones do. They see things in an "It's them back there against us up here" kind of way. The real reason their rigging knives are on lanyards attached to their belts is so they can't throw them at the afterguard or pit.... even the pit is suspect, never turn your back on the pitman, never. All nice to your face but in reality they really are just agents for the bow people. None of them can be fully trusted, and they like it that way.

 

Geeze you are how old and you don't know this??

 

i've got love for the kid and nobody has the time nor a third hand when he says "hey hold my beer and watch this"...

 

 

you got questions, we have answers...

poo spores

dropping ass

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Here's my huckleberry. Stanley: they want to help you do things right, but just in case that doesn't work, they want to help you forget. Slug of Pappy van Winkle, anyone?

 

 

 

p145134b.jpg

 

* Near as I can tell, the guy on the helm is trying to kill the crew, preferably bowman first, but if we blow another ****ing mark, he'll settle for killing them in whatever order he can. If the helm is bad, he will kill the crew on the other boat at the start first. That's an infraction, and he'll have to do turns. Goddamit! What did I tell you about calling out lengths to the mark!

 

The trimmers are trying to kill everybody except the guy in the pit, because he brings them beer from the cooler - "Here, hold this jib sheet taught while I uncleat it. That's it... hand right near the winch. Oooh, sorry, I forgot to mention we were about to gybe. Um, duck next time, 'kay?"

 

The guys on the rail just want to die if it's rough, and they just want to bang that hot chick on the other boat if it's nice and it's bikini weather. It's probably giving them too much credit, though, to assume these inchoate longings occur at a conscious level; it's more like how starfish view the culinary world after it turns its stomach inside out and goes looking for some chow - it will settle for anything it can rest its stomach on.

 

The guy on the bow wants to kill everybody, himself first based on his utter disregard for established safety protocols. I have a soft spot for the bow workers. You know how firemen go running into a house on fire to rescue somebody? Bowmen are like a neighborhood man who runs out of his house naked and into the nearby house on fire even before the firemen get there. It's only to rescue his stash of vintage Juggs magazines, which his nextdoor neighbor Phil had borrowed, but you have to appreciate the dedication and single mindedness.

 

And the guy in the pit would just like to see some daylight and stand straight up for a change. This is why most of your happier, higher quality pit men are blind hunchbacks. They aren't much as conversationalists, but on the upside, they are great at pulling hard on ropes and can be trained to bring beer when you ring a ship's bell.

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^^^^ This, this is a goddamn bowman!^^^^

 

And yet you will risk this man's wrath by not providing the simplest creature comforts for He who does what you dare not do for yourself?

 

Did the doctor ask you why the word RAMWEL was imprinted on your colon during your last checkup?

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As an old bowman, don't let them fool you. All that time down below re-packing shutes, it doesn't take that long. They're just down there getting out of the weather and suck down some cold ones.

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hahaha thanks alan.

 

since you opened the door to the plug, anyone interested should contact my good buddy (and crew member) alex simanis at ballard sails and yacht services. his team not only cut our wicked fast sails but also took my idea and did countless hours of r&d (lots of drinking followed by sewing...very scientific) improving it to come up with this product! your own foredeck hatch cozy (sans sando pocket) can be had for $175 and they'll throw in the bag with it!!!

 

call now, operators are standing by...

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I think I found something needed for the new boat....

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I think I found something needed for the new boat....

that boat will need a two coozy bag!

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maybe a mast version

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A quick belt off the rum bottle while packing the chute usually keeps my guy happy

 

Do you reach around while the packing is going on??

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The guy on the bow wants to kill everybody, himself first based on his utter disregard for established safety protocols. I have a soft spot for the bow workers. You know how firemen go running into a house on fire to rescue somebody? Bowmen are like a neighborhood man who runs out of his house naked and into the nearby house on fire even before the firemen get there. It's only to rescue his stash of vintage Juggs magazines, which his nextdoor neighbor Phil had borrowed, but you have to appreciate the dedication and single mindedness.

 

 

Definitely laughing my ass off about this. Brilliance!

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I'm a bow man. Don't fuck with me. Unless you're the owner's daughter.

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^^^^ This, this is a goddamn bowman!^^^^

And yet you will risk this man's wrath by not providing the simplest creature comforts for He who does what you dare not do for yourself?

 

Did the doctor ask you why the word RAMWEL was imprinted on your colon during your last checkup?

 

 

Oh no, you got it all wrong. Bow is my first love, my home, my station in life. First started doing it when still in my single digits and only gave it up pushing 50 as a regular gig after the third shoulder surgery. Still make a couple of guest appearances up on the pointy end each season.

I'm a fukin' bowman, what's it to you mate? BTW, you want to claim to be a bowman? Learn to fukin' spell chute! And Lewmar, please, I cut my teeth when Barlow and Barient were all the rage. You ever work one of those Barient chain drives? You got the Sparcraft jaw scar from thumbnail to knuckle? That's so late 70's early 80's, how about a Proctor jaw scar? You know how to properly dress a galvanized wire halyard or guy to stop the fishhooks from doing a number on the cloth? Don't fukin' tell me about being a fukin' bowman laddy.

A bowman indeed....GRRRRRR.

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^^^^ This, this is a goddamn bowman!^^^^

And yet you will risk this man's wrath by not providing the simplest creature comforts for He who does what you dare not do for yourself?

 

Did the doctor ask you why the word RAMWEL was imprinted on your colon during your last checkup?

 

Oh no, you got it all wrong. Bow is my first love, my home, my station in life. First started doing it when still in my single digits and only gave it up pushing 50 as a regular gig after the third shoulder surgery. Still make a couple of guest appearances up on the pointy end each season.

I'm a fukin' bowman, what's it to you mate? BTW, you want to claim to be a bowman? Learn to fukin' spell chute! And Lewmar, please, I cut my teeth when Barlow and Barient were all the rage. You ever work one of those Barient chain drives? You got the Sparcraft jaw scar from thumbnail to knuckle? That's so late 70's early 80's, how about a Proctor jaw scar? You know how to properly dress a galvanized wire halyard or guy to stop the fishhooks from doing a number on the cloth? Don't fukin' tell me about being a fukin' bowman laddy.

A bowman indeed....GRRRRRR.

 

:lol:

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...You can't treat bow like the back of the bus people. They are Bow People. They view the world differently, at least the good ones do. They see things in an "It's them back there against us up here" kind of way. The real reason their rigging knives are on lanyards attached to their belts is so they can't throw them at the afterguard or pit.... even the pit is suspect, never turn your back on the pitman, never. All nice to your face but in reality they really are just agents for the bow people. None of them can be fully trusted, and they like it that way.

 

Geeze you are how old and you don't know this??

 

 

Gospel.

 

"…Pitman. All nice to your face but in reality are just agents for the bow.."

 

That's strong, strong game right there. Sincere thank you to you and Lex for cracking me up.

 

It's all so, so true….

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...You can't treat bow like the back of the bus people. They are Bow People. They view the world differently, at least the good ones do. They see things in an "It's them back there against us up here" kind of way. The real reason their rigging knives are on lanyards attached to their belts is so they can't throw them at the afterguard or pit.... even the pit is suspect, never turn your back on the pitman, never. All nice to your face but in reality they really are just agents for the bow people. None of them can be fully trusted, and they like it that way.

 

Geeze you are how old and you don't know this??

 

Gospel.

 

"Pitman. All nice to your face but in reality are just agents for the bow.."

 

That's strong, strong game right there. Sincere thank you to you and Lex for cracking me up.

 

It's all so, so true.

Of course the pit works for the bowman. The pit is the one handing sails up and down. Sails the bow then deals with. The Bowman make beer deals with the pitman.

 

Remember a bowman is good enough to change the tires on your race car without stopping.

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I have always said that paranoia is a positive trait in a bowman - it means you check everything again even if you just checked it. This is not related to the fact that the back of the boat really is trying to kill you.

 

I will happily fetch beer for my pit person if they didn't drop the pole on my head.

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Ya know if you put a cellphone pocket in that thing it would be perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That ought to set #6 off :lol:

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Remember a bowman is good enough to change the tires on your race car without stopping.

 

Do you know how Break Dancing was invented?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kids in Compton trying to steal hubcaps off of moving cars!

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Fore deck approved, I would love to be able to have a beer handy after cleaning up the skippers last "great" broach.

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It's embarrassing to admit, but I spent some time on the helm in the SORC, in '72 I think it was.

 

I had torn up my knee and the paid crew boss knew I had collected quite a few pickle dishes on my own boat, so he and I traded spots. Then it was in the St. Pete-Lauderdale race, light air start - a pretty good one on a beam reach, good jump on the rest of the class and off we went. About twenty minutes in, we've borne off, broad reaching down to the Sunshine Bridge and doing well.

 

Then the owner steps up and says "New to this, SnakeWake?"

 

Fucking A: I'm scalloping up in the lulls and coming down in the puffs and I'M FUCKING PASSING WINDWARD PASSAGE. In his 65' shitbox wtih five and six year old sails. SnakeWake??? WTF. (To be fair, we had nailed the current and Passage was being held up a bit.)

 

A bow man don't need that shit and the owner's daughter was a dog. My last race on the beast. The crew boss was pissed at the time - at me, I thought. OTOH, he was on another boat by summer - at better pay.

 

Got another ride for the rest of the series as a naviguesser on a fifty footer and a few weeks later, signed on as fore deck on another, better boat.

 

Lesson learned! Stayed away from the pointless end for quite a while after that. Never saw fucking owners on the pointy end in a race. Never saw anybody but me on the pointy end in a race. Except my intern when I'm off watch in the longer races, and even then I got called for evolutions and took the point again.

 

 

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