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A rant about flying

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Ive heard stories of people starting cooking fires in the aisle.

True story.... Back in 97 I think, we deployed to Saudi for a 120 day rotation. They transported the Sq in a charter 747. Tower Air, I think it was. So, we settled in for the long flight a d bunch of us are upstairs in the hump and we decide to sit on the floor and play some cards. Not being a usual commercial flight, the stews were laid back and hung out with us. They were saying they liked when they had US Military charters, because they otherwise usually did charters in the ME and asia. They especially hated the Hajj pilgrim flights. They said it wasn't unusual for the folks from some shithole village in Africa, Bangladesh or the ME to break out a charcoal grill and try to start cooking on the floor. She said one Hajj flight, someone had a goat and they actually slaughtered it on the floor before they could stop them. This was obviously pre-9/11.

 

how come you didn't fly the jets there?

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Ive heard stories of people starting cooking fires in the aisle.

True story.... Back in 97 I think, we deployed to Saudi for a 120 day rotation. They transported the Sq in a charter 747. Tower Air, I think it was. So, we settled in for the long flight a d bunch of us are upstairs in the hump and we decide to sit on the floor and play some cards. Not being a usual commercial flight, the stews were laid back and hung out with us. They were saying they liked when they had US Military charters, because they otherwise usually did charters in the ME and asia. They especially hated the Hajj pilgrim flights. They said it wasn't unusual for the folks from some shithole village in Africa, Bangladesh or the ME to break out a charcoal grill and try to start cooking on the floor. She said one Hajj flight, someone had a goat and they actually slaughtered it on the floor before they could stop them. This was obviously pre-9/11.

how come you didn't fly the jets there?

Because the jets were already there for the previous 4 month deployment. We were the relief crews. I did fly the jet home though.

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Oh Really?

 

Investigation

The investigation revealed the fire had started in the aft C3 cargo compartment. The fire was intense enough to burn through the cabin floor, causing passengers seated in that area of the fire to move further forward in the cabin prior to the emergency landing.[5] Saudi officials subsequently found two butane stoves in the burned-out remains of the airliner, with a used fire extinguisher near one of them. Previously, some airlines used to allow passengers to use butane stoves on board. However, current aviation regulations forbid them.

 

One early speculation about the cause of the crash, claimed the fire originated in the passenger cabin, after a passenger used his own butane stove to heat water for making tea.[8] However, that early speculation was rejected by the findings in the official accident report.[7]

 

 

I stand corrected. I was only 11 yo...

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This is kind of random, but I'm going to tell it here anyway because I'm stuck in the Terminal 5 lounge for another couple of hours and I'm getting tired of drinking the 18 yo MacAllan.

 

I had a flight this morning (in business class, of course!) on a BA B-777 from Tel Aviv to LHR that was delayed because they had to de-ice the wings! It's been hot as all fuck in TLV this week, and humid too. The ambient temperature at scheduled push back was around 80-82 F. But the wings were clearly frosty... Since it's NEVER snowed in TLV, they have no deice equipment. What to do?

The Captain explained the particular 777 we were on has a history of "fuel level indication problems" or to be more succinct, the gas gauge is busted. Because of this they keep a lot of fuel on board, apparently more than enough for more than a round trip LHR-TLV. So when the plane arrived overnight, the wing tanks were still pretty full, and because it spent basically five hours at -65F on the flight down the fuel in the tanks was well below freezing when they arrived. After a couple of hour cold-soak in the warm and humid Israeli air, the wings frosted up like a beer mug.

 

The solution in the absence of a de-icing system is to top up the tanks with hot local fuel to increase the skin temperature of the wings to above freezing.

Dying in any plane crash would suck, but I'm pretty sure my ghost would be extra pissed if I died because they didn't de-ice my plane in Israel in the summertime.

Cheers!

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MM, good story. I've not seen that happen but it makes sense.

 

Interestingly enough, coincidentally, I'm in a 777 aluminum tube from hell at the moment over Iran. Although the hell has been mitigated somewhat by the nice Italian Primitivo they served with dinner.

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The BA wine selection has been a little weak lately, but it's better than nothing. Drinking a nice wine over Iran would give me a deep sense of smug satisfaction. Cheers to you mate!

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The BA wine selection has been a little weak lately, but it's better than nothing. Drinking a nice wine over Iran would give me a deep sense of smug satisfaction. Cheers to you mate!

 

Absolutely correct!

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BA biz class to Prague in 10 days time, almost looking forward to getting on a plane. Almost.

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BA biz class to Prague in 10 days time, almost looking forward to getting on a plane. Almost.

Hey if you are in Prague, it is just a short hop to our place in Poland. About 60 miles due east of Berlin. Stop in for a beer and some vodka!

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BA biz class to Prague in 10 days time, almost looking forward to getting on a plane. Almost.

Hey if you are in Prague, it is just a short hop to our place in Poland. About 60 miles due east of Berlin. Stop in for a beer and some vodka!

 

 

Thanks for the offer Ed,

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Ive heard stories of people starting cooking fires in the aisle.

 

True story.... Back in 97 I think, we deployed to Saudi for a 120 day rotation. They transported the Sq in a charter 747. Tower Air, I think it was. So, we settled in for the long flight a d bunch of us are upstairs in the hump and we decide to sit on the floor and play some cards. Not being a usual commercial flight, the stews were laid back and hung out with us. They were saying they liked when they had US Military charters, because they otherwise usually did charters in the ME and asia. They especially hated the Hajj pilgrim flights. They said it wasn't unusual for the folks from some shithole village in Africa, Bangladesh or the ME to break out a charcoal grill and try to start cooking on the floor. She said one Hajj flight, someone had a goat and they actually slaughtered it on the floor before they could stop them. This was obviously pre-9/11.

Link or it was complete fucking bullshit. Which it no doubt is.

Yes what a waste of a perfectly good goat hey Randy.

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BA biz class makes flying an enjoyable experience once again. :) :)

 

Fast track check in, fast track security, lounge, loads of space and 2 stewardesses to look after 16 people with complimentary wine and or champagne, whats not to like?? :D

 

Edit

 

Thanks again for the offer Ed, maybe on the next one.

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BA biz class makes flying an enjoyable experience once again. :) :)

 

Fast track check in, fast track security, lounge, loads of space and 2 stewardesses to look after 16 people with complimentary wine and or champagne, whats not to like?? :D

 

Edit

 

Thanks again for the offer Ed, maybe on the next one.

I'm jealous, don't want to pony up the dosh for business class. I am semi-retired, self employed so the company sure isn't going to pay for me either.

 

The offer is open, anytime you are in the area.

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Just did an 8 hour return flight. My body is the wrong type for airline seats (6'2" 220#). In the middle of an A330, 4 seats together. Obnoxious teenager on the aisle seat to the right, if that was my kid, I would kick him around the block, twice. A lady was on the aisle to the left with an open seat in between. Things are looking up. Until a late arrival appears and plunks down between us. French dude who doesn't wear deodorant. That's a long flight.

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Just did an 8 hour return flight. My body is the wrong type for airline seats (6'2" 220#). In the middle of an A330, 4 seats together. Obnoxious teenager on the aisle seat to the right, if that was my kid, I would kick him around the block, twice. A lady was on the aisle to the left with an open seat in between. Things are looking up. Until a late arrival appears and plunks down between us. French dude who doesn't wear deodorant. That's a long flight.

 

And we wonder why mass murders are on the rise in the US......

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It gets even better...

968849-fig-1444207526-426-640x480.jpg

 

Airbus just patented this lovely double-high seating arrangement. http://www.livenewspak.com/new-airbus-design-stacks-passengers-on-top-of-each-other/

 

I wasn't aware you could patent "pure evil".

 

Oh, wonderful. At 6'6" I already have no leg room but then I get to bump my head on the seat above me!

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We're not far away from this.

 

milk-sardines-ccr_lg_1.jpg

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Lets see....packed tightly into an aluminum can...check. Smelly as hell....check. Bugged out eyes when all is said & done...check.

 

I think we're already there mad.

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"Flying" is when you are at the controls of an aircraft.

"Air Travel" is when you are going first class on a top airline.

"Mass Transit Hell" is when you are one of the cattle back in the tube.

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It gets even better...

968849-fig-1444207526-426-640x480.jpg

 

Airbus just patented this lovely double-high seating arrangement. http://www.livenewspak.com/new-airbus-design-stacks-passengers-on-top-of-each-other/

 

I wasn't aware you could patent "pure evil".

 

Oh, wonderful. At 6'6" I already have no leg room but then I get to bump my head on the seat above me!

 

 

 

...methinks there's some 'prior art' to that patent :mellow: ......

 

ben_ontruck(2).jpg

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So, what’s best to fly? For the first class high roller, Airlineratings.com named its top 10 (in alphabetical order)...


• All Nippon Airways (ANA)


• Emirates


• Etihad


• Japan Airlines (JAL)


• Korean Air


• Lufthansa


• Qantas


• Singapore Airlines


• Swiss


• Thai


For business class, here is what to fly...


• Air France


• Air New Zealand


• All Nippon Airways


• Cathay Pacific


• Etihad


• Japan Airlines (JAL)


• Qatar


• Qantas


• Singapore Airlines


• Virgin Australia / Atlantic


For premium economy...


• Air France


• Air New Zealand


• All Nippon Airways (ANA)


• British Airways


• Cathay Pacific


• EVA Air


• Japan Airlines (JAL)


• Qantas


• Singapore Airlines


• Virgin Atlantic / Virgin Australia


For long-haul economy...


• Air New Zealand


• Cathay Pacific


• Etihad


• EVA Air


• Japan Airlines


• Korean Air


• Qantas


• Qatar


• Singapore Airlines


• Thai Airways


http://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ranking-the-worlds-best-airlines/ar-BBmoT81?li=AAa0dzB&ocid=mailsignout


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I can't really find anything surprising in this list. Almost all of these carriers fly a huge number of very long routes so they have a much greater incentive to provide the best first and business class service. That's not the case when it comes to most domestic carriers.

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I'm flying Etihad Business back to the US tomorrow. It's the only time I don't dread the "Aluminum Tube of Hell".

I'm thinking that way deep down you secretly hope the whole flight crew eats the bad fish and they have to ask the passengers if anyone knows how to fly a plane.

 

Am I right ???

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I can't really find anything surprising in this list. Almost all of these carriers fly a huge number of very long routes so they have a much greater incentive to provide the best first and business class service. That's not the case when it comes to most domestic carriers.

+1

 

also the fact of domestic airlines crying "poverty" for years and not investing in upgrades and repairs of cabin creature comforts...

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I'm flying Etihad Business back to the US tomorrow. It's the only time I don't dread the "Aluminum Tube of Hell".

I'm thinking that way deep down you secretly hope the whole flight crew eats the bad fish and they have to ask the passengers if anyone knows how to fly a plane.

 

Am I right ???

 

i cant speak for jeff but.... personally.... in places i dont talk about at the regatta tent or in the fbo.... yes.

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Yeah, me too.

 

In fact the day before I take a flight, I spend an hour flying the 747-400 on the

MS Flight Simulator practicing my barrel rolls, flying upside down under the GG Bridge,

and making IFR approaches to SFO in the fog, etc.

 

You know, just in case . . .

 

 

I swear, those carrier landings are a bitch with a 747

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Yeah, me too.

 

In fact the day before I take a flight, I spend an hour flying the 747-400 on the

MS Flight Simulator practicing my barrel rolls, flying upside down under the GG Bridge,

and making IFR approaches to SFO in the fog, etc.

 

You know, just in case . . .

 

 

I swear, those carrier landings are a bitch with a 747

DFG ist touffere, I gaaruntee!

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when you're flying the family, the wallet usually says 'steerage only, buddy'!

alone / business is another matter.

 

at 6'3", i have mastered sleep in the steerage seats, which is greatly assisted by a tiny person in the next seat.

a few power beers and whiskies in the first half hour, and i'm out for the full 7 hours.

 

Can't walk at the other end, but it's preferable to the bank account hole created by 4X business upgrades!

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when you're flying the family, the wallet usually says 'steerage only, buddy'!

alone / business is another matter.

 

at 6'3", i have mastered sleep in the steerage seats, which is greatly assisted by a tiny person in the next seat.

a few power beers and whiskies in the first half hour, and i'm out for the full 7 hours.

 

Can't walk at the other end, but it's preferable to the bank account hole created by 4X business upgrades!

 

Fly the family out first on cattle class and fly the next day on business. :P :P

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My own fault. Got to the airport and was waiting in the looooonnnngggggg security line. Got near the front of the line and felt my spyderco in my pocket. Shit, not again. At DIA they have a little kiosk where you can mail it back to yourself. Three times now I've mailed it back. Most expensive knife I've ever owned.

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My own fault. Got to the airport and was waiting in the looooonnnngggggg security line. Got near the front of the line and felt my spyderco in my pocket. Shit, not again. At DIA they have a little kiosk where you can mail it back to yourself. Three times now I've mailed it back. Most expensive knife I've ever owned.

 

I have only had to mail my Spyderco knife to myself once, but I did have to surrender my tiny eyeglass screwdriver once. I asked them if they thought I was going to unscrew the wings with it.

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My own fault. Got to the airport and was waiting in the looooonnnngggggg security line. Got near the front of the line and felt my spyderco in my pocket. Shit, not again. At DIA they have a little kiosk where you can mail it back to yourself. Three times now I've mailed it back. Most expensive knife I've ever owned.

 

I have only had to mail my Spyderco knife to myself once, but I did have to surrender my tiny eyeglass screwdriver once. I asked them if they thought I was going to unscrew the wings with it.

 

I'm surprised the airport security people didn't taze and handcuff you for that remark. They don't seem to have a sense of humor.

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Yeah, what he said.

 

I once threw my gear bag in with my suitcase and tried to carry it on. Turns out my rigging knife was in there... what's concerning is I think they were actually concerned about my trapeze harness bar/hook....

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I go up to Ketchikan, AK every summer for some fishing. Last year on the way home got off the float plane and went into the airport to go thru the security checkpoint. I just had a small carryon as my other bag and fish boxes were checked thru to Seattle. the TSA guy puts my carryon thru the scanner and pulls it back and runs it thru a couple more times. Then he asks if I have knife in my bag, no says I. Finally he says cant let you thru with this bag, says there is something suspicious in it. I give him permission to look in it and he pulls out my survival knife, OH SHIT says I. He gave it to me and said to take to the Alaska Air counter and they will box it up for me as a checked box. I did this and there was no charge. When I got to SEA there it was, amazing. Nicest TSA guy ever. I have been groped, prodded and yelled at by TSA for much less serious things.

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when you're flying the family, the wallet usually says 'steerage only, buddy'!

alone / business is another matter.

 

at 6'3", i have mastered sleep in the steerage seats, which is greatly assisted by a tiny person in the next seat.

a few power beers and whiskies in the first half hour, and i'm out for the full 7 hours.

 

Can't walk at the other end, but it's preferable to the bank account hole created by 4X business upgrades!

 

Fly the family out first on cattle class and fly the next day on business. :P :P

 

i think this is probably a 'once only' solution, that will result in my having to halve my net worth in perpetuity.

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Ah those were the day's..long haul flights with two tots in tow. Somehow the other half used to always HAVE to fly ahead.

Melb to Amsterdam..52 hour door to door. :blink:

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Ah those were the day's..long haul flights with two tots in tow. Somehow the other half used to always HAVE to fly ahead.

Melb to Amsterdam..52 hour door to door. :blink:

 

Shudder, really glad I don't do those trips anymore.

 

 

when you're flying the family, the wallet usually says 'steerage only, buddy'!

alone / business is another matter.

 

at 6'3", i have mastered sleep in the steerage seats, which is greatly assisted by a tiny person in the next seat.

a few power beers and whiskies in the first half hour, and i'm out for the full 7 hours.

 

Can't walk at the other end, but it's preferable to the bank account hole created by 4X business upgrades!

 

Fly the family out first on cattle class and fly the next day on business. :P :P

 

i think this is probably a 'once only' solution, that will result in my having to halve my net worth in perpetuity.

 

 

Well it was just an idea. B)

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You should have JBSF, those cheeseheads they wear are non-lethal foam rubber.

 

Plus judging by their general health, all it would take is a slow jog to ensure your escape.

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

 

Flew up to Boston and back on Wednesday. On Spirit Airlines. And lived to tell about it.

 

spirit.jpg

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

 

Flew up to Boston and back on Wednesday. On Spirit Airlines. And lived to tell about it.

 

spirit.jpg

 

Those seats! They will be putting in those white, plastic lawn chairs, next.

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

Fuck off, you pussy. I am flying to the US in May. I paid $829.00 RT for Berlin to Cleveland, OH, and another $435.00 for seats I can actually fit my 6'6 body and very long legs in. So much for cheap fares. Fuck you and fuck the airlines and get off my lawn.

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

Fuck off, you pussy. I am flying to the US in May. I paid $829.00 RT for Berlin to Cleveland, OH, and another $435.00 for seats I can actually fit my 6'6 body and very long legs in. So much for cheap fares. Fuck you and fuck the airlines and get off my lawn.

 

 

I'm over canukistan right now. Holy shit it looks cold down there in Ft McMurray. Had a beautiful flight up and over the pole. It was surreal, had a full moon right on the horizon and it never moved for hours like it would down in the lower attitudes. Got to see the polar ice cap once we got far enough south to get some light. Really beautiful stuff! I would definitely not want to try to ditch up there.

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

Fuck off, you pussy. I am flying to the US in May. I paid $829.00 RT for Berlin to Cleveland, OH, and another $435.00 for seats I can actually fit my 6'6 body and very long legs in. So much for cheap fares. Fuck you and fuck the airlines and get off my lawn.

 

I'm over canukistan right now. Holy shit it looks cold down there in Ft McMurray. Had a beautiful flight up and over the pole. It was surreal, had a full moon right on the horizon and it never moved for hours like it would down in the lower attitudes. Got to see the polar ice cap once we got far enough south to get some light. Really beautiful stuff! I would definitely not want to try to ditch up there.

 

And in '97 I was able to fly from Thule to Nord in a DC3 taking sun sights the whole time. The last hour we dropped down to a glacier to 100' AGL, and it was one of the coolest moments of my life.

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I'm sitting in the Aluminum tube of hell with a 16 hr non-Stop flight to the US ahead on me. #2 for takeoff. Fortunately this time I'm in a leather lay flat bed and a door that closes out the riff raff in the back. Where's my glass of Burgundy??

 

Suck it bitches!

Fuck off, you pussy. I am flying to the US in May. I paid $829.00 RT for Berlin to Cleveland, OH, and another $435.00 for seats I can actually fit my 6'6 body and very long legs in. So much for cheap fares. Fuck you and fuck the airlines and get off my lawn.

 

I'm over canukistan right now. Holy shit it looks cold down there in Ft McMurray. Had a beautiful flight up and over the pole. It was surreal, had a full moon right on the horizon and it never moved for hours like it would down in the lower attitudes. Got to see the polar ice cap once we got far enough south to get some light. Really beautiful stuff! I would definitely not want to try to ditch up there.

 

And in '97 I was able to fly from Thule to Nord in a DC3 taking sun sights the whole time. The last hour we dropped down to a glacier to 100' AGL, and it was one of the coolest moments of my life.

 

 

That would be a cool flight.

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Those seats! They will be putting in those white, plastic lawn chairs, next.

Doubt it..... think subway at rush hour, No seats... just a grab bar

 

last spring wife did some business travel in cattle class.

From D.C. To LA to senyavin islands to solomons to Melbourne to Auckland to America Samos to fiji to hawai to San Fran to D.C.

 

She was gone 18 days, 11 major flights and 5 puddle jumps.

 

We are going to England this summer. And thankfully it's a easy flight from D.C. To England. I got a bad back and honestly the upright seating works fine for me...

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i'll give you tall fucks this one, the seats on the budget carriers are actually too close... when i hit my knees (frontier airlines), the seats are too goddamn close. I've decided American is worth the extra $20.... Plus some of their planes have USB and or AC110 outlets.

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they're working on it....

790802615416641171.jpg

Oh fuck!

I've just seen aviation hell.

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they're working on it....

790802615416641171.jpg

 

The guy is able to breathe, so the seats will end up being moved closer.

 

And how about the overhead storage compartments? They could squeeze a few bodies up there, too.

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they're working on it....

 

 

The guy is able to breathe, so the seats will end up being moved closer.

 

And how about the overhead storage compartments? They could squeeze a few bodies up there, too.

 

 

shh... dont give them any ideas.

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they're working on it....

 

The guy is able to breathe, so the seats will end up being moved closer.

 

And how about the overhead storage compartments? They could squeeze a few bodies up there, too.

shh... dont give them any ideas.

If they're going to stack vertically, might as well stack horizontally. At least you can sleep that way, well maybe??

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Rant all ya want... I am now flying this airline.. well worth all the BS they make me put up with

 

a409ede427b62ecf52dc290550c89c1a.jpg

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they're working on it....

790802615416641171.jpg

 

 

So long as the fucker in front of you can't put his seat back that actually looks like more legroom with that set-up.

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Can't wait to be stuck in 26A with a full bladder and 700lbs combined of Ma and Pa Kettle in 26B and C.

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Can't wait to be stuck in 26A with a full bladder and 700lbs combined of Ma and Pa Kettle in 26B and C.

 

you forgot their foofoo "therapy" dog thats been shitty and yapping in Ma's lap for the prior two hours.

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When velocitek came out with the sc-01 it was basically a pelican box with electronics in it, a couple batteries and a large countdown display... no one was amused...well, almost no one...

 

I've stepped out of line and ditched my knives at airports- twice behind some shit self help book in a bookstore.. it was there upon my return both times---

 

Had tsa hold me up for a wichard fid in providence... asked what it's for I told em it's for rigging those...pointing to the fully rigged 30' race boat in the airport...they took it, I missed my flight... I return... ask for my fid back.. I'm going to check it with my backpack and not lose it to tsa. They wouldn't give it to me until I was outside the velvet rope, I could kill anything as long as it was out there... it was in an evidence bag and everything...

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When velocitek came out with the sc-01 it was basically a pelican box with electronics in it, a couple batteries and a large countdown display... no one was amused...well, almost no one...

 

I've stepped out of line and ditched my knives at airports- twice behind some shit self help book in a bookstore.. it was there upon my return both times---

 

Had tsa hold me up for a wichard fid in providence... asked what it's for I told em it's for rigging those...pointing to the fully rigged 30' race boat in the airport...they took it, I missed my flight... I return... ask for my fid back.. I'm going to check it with my backpack and not lose it to tsa. They wouldn't give it to me until I was outside the velvet rope, I could kill anything as long as it was out there... it was in an evidence bag and everything...

 

had the same thing happen at PVD. Except it wasn't a fid. It was my fucking rigging/emergency knife. Boy that one was awkward.... Took my whole sailing kit bag and chucked it in a suitcase the night before - forgetting i had that in there. The scanner found it.... Several friends were in line behind me and got to witness the whole thing. Good times. Was escorted all the way to the front of the building so i could check it. I also had my trap harness - i got several strange looks and questions regarding that as well...

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Rant all ya want... I am now flying this airline.. well worth all the BS they make me put up with

 

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She would definitely ensure you paid attention to the safety briefing at the beginning of the flight.

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GIven all the ranting done about flying in the "Aluminum Tube from Hell" (henceforth known as the ATFH), I thought I would post a positive rant.

 

I just got back from 5 glorious weeks in the US getting my "Murica" back on. Flew 4 different airlines over 7 leg segments both US domestic and international. Etihad into LAX and then AA into LAS. Delta back on the way out to the east coast to visit family, with multiple legs into and out of ATL. Then British Airways back home through London.

 

Lots and lots of chances for something to go wrong, miss a connection, get stuck in weather, etc. All went very smooth. Delta in particular stands out as being on time and easy to deal with. I was supposed to fly out of Boston to London on Wednesday and was panicking with the Nor'easter hammering the New England states on Tuesday night. I called up Delta the day before and asked if I could just change the flight to end in ATL and I would pick up the BA flight out of Atlanta instead of Boston to avoid the weather. Sure they said, no problem and even refunded my full amount for the ATL-BOS leg.

 

The best part of the Delta legs was one of the gate agent ladies in ATL checking the boarding passes as you just enter the jetway told a guy in a very loud and very annoyed voice "I called boarding for first class. You do not have a first class ticket. Now go to the back of the line". Good for her!

 

I've decided after lots of observation that its not the airlines that make the flying experience so bad, its the fucking idiot people who fly who are totally clueless, can't follow basic instructions in the TSA line, and are brain dead wastes of oxygen.

Sigh. I have to agree with you on that last part. It seems the minute people enter the terminal they turn into complete idiots. I am always super nice to the airline workers in the airport, the shit they have to put up with would make me homicidal. I am flying back to the US for a visit in May. Since I can't afford 1st or Business class, I had to pony up half again as much as the price of my basic ticket ($800) for seats with some room for my long legs. Still compared to the cost 40-50 years ago, it is a bargain. I paid between $400-$600 to fly to Europe in the '70s, if you adjust those prices for inflation the $1,200 I paid for this trip is cheap. We took a ship to and from Europe in 1963 because my mother didn't like to fly, although she would if she had to. The cost of the ship passage was only a little more than the cost of a flight, it just took a little longer, 7 days going there, 4 1/2 days to return. Still, for 1,200 bucks I could hire a pretty nice hooker to abuse me and get a better fucking for my money to boot.

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In my past life did about 300k a year for the past 4 years, which is not a lot when compared to serious travelers, but more than enough for me. Fortunately I did this mostly at the front, but the romance is long gone. I'm glad that in my current job the longer flight I need to take is 1+hr to SFO or better, SJC. If I only had a penny for every entitled, moaning cnut, I'd not need to work anymore

 

Of course, while I'm very proud of my wife, I could kill her for receiving the President's Club award. The prize? A 30hr flight to the Maldives!

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I've decided after lots of observation that its not the airlines that make the flying experience so bad, its the fucking idiot people who fly who are totally clueless, can't follow basic instructions in the TSA line, and are brain dead wastes of oxygen.

 

Sigh. I have to agree with you on that last part. It seems the minute people enter the terminal they turn into complete idiots. I am always super nice to the airline workers in the airport, the shit they have to put up with would make me homicidal.

 

I was in the security line in ATL last week behind this brain dead, stupid cunt of a woman - who despite repeatedly being told by the TSA guy to remove her shoes, remove all jewelry, remove her jacket, remove anything from her pockets, take her ipad out of her suitcase, etc - was sent back 5 times. FIVE TIMES!!!! She held the fucking line up for literally like 20 min. Finally the TSA guy took pity on us and told her to take her 6 trays full of shit - yes, I am not making that up...... she had SIX trays of shit - and get out of the line until she could organize herself. About 20 people behind her started clapping. And the stupid cunt wasn't even smart enough to be embarrassed at herself. She had a stupid "who, me??" look on her face.

 

Fuck me, but you literally would have had to have lived under a rock for the last 16 years to not at least know some of these basics. When I approach the table where the trays are, I already have my shoes off, my belt off, my pockets emptied into my carry-on, and my laptop out. Bada bing bada boom. Dump all that shit into one tray, laptop /ipad into the other, push it onto the belt, walk up to the scanner. How fucking hard can it be????

 

yep, been there seen that. I get that some people have never flown before, but jesus look around at what everyone else is doing... we're not doing it out of tradition for the all mighty airplane...

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I've decided after lots of observation that its not the airlines that make the flying experience so bad, its the fucking idiot people who fly who are totally clueless, can't follow basic instructions in the TSA line, and are brain dead wastes of oxygen.

 

Sigh. I have to agree with you on that last part. It seems the minute people enter the terminal they turn into complete idiots. I am always super nice to the airline workers in the airport, the shit they have to put up with would make me homicidal.

 

I was in the security line in ATL last week behind this brain dead, stupid cunt of a woman - who despite repeatedly being told by the TSA guy to remove her shoes, remove all jewelry, remove her jacket, remove anything from her pockets, take her ipad out of her suitcase, etc - was sent back 5 times. FIVE TIMES!!!! She held the fucking line up for literally like 20 min. Finally the TSA guy took pity on us and told her to take her 6 trays full of shit - yes, I am not making that up...... she had SIX trays of shit - and get out of the line until she could organize herself. About 20 people behind her started clapping. And the stupid cunt wasn't even smart enough to be embarrassed at herself. She had a stupid "who, me??" look on her face.

 

Fuck me, but you literally would have had to have lived under a rock for the last 16 years to not at least know some of these basics. When I approach the table where the trays are, I already have my shoes off, my belt off, my pockets emptied into my carry-on, and my laptop out. Bada bing bada boom. Dump all that shit into one tray, laptop /ipad into the other, push it onto the belt, walk up to the scanner. How fucking hard can it be????

 

yep, been there seen that. I get that some people have never flown before, but jesus look around at what everyone else is doing... we're not doing it out of tradition for the all mighty airplane...

 

Yeah, I am like JB. By the time I get to the security point I have everything ready to dump in the tray. How hard is it to use the time you are standing in line to get everything ready. Makes life easier on everyone involved. I have about 2 pounds of metal in each knee prosthesis so I am condemned to endure the extra scrutiny for the rest of my life. I love the airports that have the scanning machines instead of the metal detectors, maybe all airports will have them eventually.

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Of course, while I'm very proud of my wife, I could kill her for receiving the President's Club award. The prize? A 30hr flight to the Maldives!

 

30 HOURS!!??!! Holy shit, Its only about 3.5 from here. That's a weekend getaway. :o

 

 

Yes, and thanks to TSA, no toys on the way home. I used to be under 12hrs away, but such are the times. Fark!

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I got the pat down on my way to FLL for the Cuba race- expedited by a passionate sigh of "oh...yeah..."

 

I laughed inside...

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My wife was in the airline biz for 21 years. She's one of the least pleasurable people to travel with that I know. Sure she knows all the tricks, and exactly what to say to whom, and when to say it... But the nic fits make her very snappish. A customs agent in Trinidad started acting like he was going to check our bags, etc. She lit into him like a cat in a wash tub. He looked at me in surprise. I said "She hasn't had a smoke in 8 hours" He stamped our passports said "Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago!" And then whispered to me as my wife darted for the exit "good luck mon!"...

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I've decided after lots of observation that its not the airlines that make the flying experience so bad, its the fucking idiot people who fly who are totally clueless, can't follow basic instructions in the TSA line, and are brain dead wastes of oxygen.

 

Sigh. I have to agree with you on that last part. It seems the minute people enter the terminal they turn into complete idiots. I am always super nice to the airline workers in the airport, the shit they have to put up with would make me homicidal.

 

I was in the security line in ATL last week behind this brain dead, stupid cunt of a woman - who despite repeatedly being told by the TSA guy to remove her shoes, remove all jewelry, remove her jacket, remove anything from her pockets, take her ipad out of her suitcase, etc - was sent back 5 times. FIVE TIMES!!!! She held the fucking line up for literally like 20 min. Finally the TSA guy took pity on us and told her to take her 6 trays full of shit - yes, I am not making that up...... she had SIX trays of shit - and get out of the line until she could organize herself. About 20 people behind her started clapping. And the stupid cunt wasn't even smart enough to be embarrassed at herself. She had a stupid "who, me??" look on her face.

 

Fuck me, but you literally would have had to have lived under a rock for the last 16 years to not at least know some of these basics. When I approach the table where the trays are, I already have my shoes off, my belt off, my pockets emptied into my carry-on, and my laptop out. Bada bing bada boom. Dump all that shit into one tray, laptop /ipad into the other, push it onto the belt, walk up to the scanner. How fucking hard can it be????

 

 

Surprised you haven't done the TSA Pre application. Gets rid of about 99% of this shit...

 

Oh! You forgot the Badda Bang.... FWIIW

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My wife was in the airline biz for 21 years. She's one of the least pleasurable people to travel with that I know. Sure she knows all the tricks, and exactly what to say to whom, and when to say it... But the nic fits make her very snappish. A customs agent in Trinidad started acting like he was going to check our bags, etc. She lit into him like a cat in a wash tub. He looked at me in surprise. I said "She hasn't had a smoke in 8 hours" He stamped our passports said "Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago!" And then whispered to me as my wife darted for the exit "good luck mon!"...

 

Sounds like you need a new wife that doesn't smoke. Just saying.

 

No. It works better now that I got her a box full of nicotine patches and slap 2 or 3 on her as we enter the departures area..... Back when she had security badges for pretty much every airport in the free world, she'd just go out a kitchen door, or down to the baggage ramp, but a 6 hour flight was still hell..... And then lo-and behold! E-cigs!..... Then they got banned too.

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Flying sucks, no way around it. My job requires A LOT of travel; 38 trans Atlantic flights in 24 months plus two round trips to Australia, one to Papua New Guinea and two to Fiji in that same period. BA has the best Premium Economy, much better than eco and less than Business but an upgrade to Business is like winning the lottery. Condor Air and Icelandia first class are not any better than BA Premium Eco and cost more. Lufthansa has hard seats and Delta has no Premium Eco on trans Atlantic flights.

 

Fat bastards spilling over their seat into mine is the worst, followed closely by kids kicking the back of the seat. Most of the time the stew will speak to the parents if they can't get junior to knock it off. Being nice to the stews will sometimes at least score a move to a less crowed row if the flight is not packed.

 

Mostly I just figure I'm in for 8 to 14 hours of misery and hope for an aisle seat so I can get up and walk frequently.

 

Good luck!

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My wife was in the airline biz for 21 years. She's one of the least pleasurable people to travel with that I know. Sure she knows all the tricks, and exactly what to say to whom, and when to say it... But the nic fits make her very snappish. A customs agent in Trinidad started acting like he was going to check our bags, etc. She lit into him like a cat in a wash tub. He looked at me in surprise. I said "She hasn't had a smoke in 8 hours" He stamped our passports said "Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago!" And then whispered to me as my wife darted for the exit "good luck mon!"...

 

 

I call BS They don't speak with that fake Jamaican accent down in T&T.

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awesome! I'll be thinking of that as I hyperextend my knees and dislocate my shoulders to squeeze between the planetary girth on either side of me while attempting not to breathe in the uncovered cough from the snot bubbling screaming toddler hanging on my seat back... the part about accessibility will no doubt calm me out of bludgeoning every living creature on board with a broken tray table....

 

"Under your seat you'll find....your bloody skull!"

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awesome! I'll be thinking of that as I hyperextend my knees and dislocate my shoulders to squeeze between the planetary girth on either side of me while attempting not to breathe in the uncovered cough from the snot bubbling screaming toddler hanging on my seat back... the part about accessibility will no doubt calm me out of bludgeoning every living creature on board with a broken tray table....

 

"Under your seat you'll find....your bloody skull!"

 

hey flights to newport are just a PM away... so long as i am already going there that weekend. Should have planned to fly to charleston but decided on the metal tube of hell for no good reason...

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awesome! I'll be thinking of that as I hyperextend my knees and dislocate my shoulders to squeeze between the planetary girth on either side of me while attempting not to breathe in the uncovered cough from the snot bubbling screaming toddler hanging on my seat back... the part about accessibility will no doubt calm me out of bludgeoning every living creature on board with a broken tray table....

 

"Under your seat you'll find....your bloody skull!"

hey flights to newport are just a PM away... so long as i am already going there that weekend. Should have planned to fly to charleston but decided on the metal tube of hell for no good reason...

My next tube ride is in a few days, bwi to the bvi's. Then, after a 1200mile delivery I get to come home do laundry and head to Charleston- probably by car... I'm all for teleportation. Seriously science- get your fucking shit together!

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awesome! I'll be thinking of that as I hyperextend my knees and dislocate my shoulders to squeeze between the planetary girth on either side of me while attempting not to breathe in the uncovered cough from the snot bubbling screaming toddler hanging on my seat back... the part about accessibility will no doubt calm me out of bludgeoning every living creature on board with a broken tray table....

 

"Under your seat you'll find....your bloody skull!"

 

hey flights to newport are just a PM away... so long as i am already going there that weekend. Should have planned to fly to charleston but decided on the metal tube of hell for no good reason...

 

 

Did you get your new engine yet?

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In 2006, after 15 years of planning and preliminary work, construction was started on a brand new terminal and facilities next to Berlin Schoenefeld airport. It is named Berlin-Brandenburg Airport, it was scheduled to open in 2010 and be the showpiece, international terminal. serving Berlin and the surrounding area. It was to replace the small, inadequate facilities at Schoenefeld and Berlin's other airport,Tegel. The project was originally expected to cost 650 million euro. The opening was delayed repeatedly and finally it was announced that the terminal had terrible defects in the fire suppression system and smoke ducts and other problems. There was a grand opening scheduled in 2012 and the plan was to station 800 'Fire Watchers' with cell phones that would alert the fire brigade if they saw any hint of a fire. The grand opening was called off. The cost of the project has soared so far to almost 6 billion euro, paid by the German taxpayers. There was one suggestion just to demolish the new structure and start all over again. There is also a concern the new facility might be too small for the anticipated demand. It currently costs 16 million euro a month just to maintain the unused terminal and keep it from deteriorating. So far the completed the opening date has been constantly pushed back and now it is estimated to be 2020 or later. So much for German efficiency, this is probably the biggest boondoggle in the history of construction.

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21 minutes ago, Shootist Jeff said:

WTF???  I'm looking out the window and there doesn't appear to be a drop of snow on the ground.  It's late Nov in the Canadian Rockies.  I would have thought there would be tons of snow by now.

cough*globalwarming*cough

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2 hours ago, Shootist Jeff said:

WTF???  I'm looking out the window and there doesn't appear to be a drop of snow on the ground.  It's late Nov in the Canadian Rockies.  I would have thought there would be tons of snow by now.

there is snow on the ground on the prairies...maybe you are further south now...wyoming?

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On 11/21/2017 at 11:12 AM, Shootist Jeff said:

WTF???  I'm looking out the window and there doesn't appear to be a drop of snow on the ground.  It's late Nov in the Canadian Rockies.  I would have thought there would be tons of snow by now.

Well since Regina is on the Prairies a few hundred miles from the Rockies......

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40 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

This air rage stuff never happened before they turned the planes into cattle cars.

Coincidence?

Or is it simply that now the lowlifes can afford to fly?

 

Yes.

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One exception to bad airline service, is Turkish Airways!  5 of us flew on them in October, from Boston to Venice, returning from Athens to Boston, via Istanbul both ways.  There was toque wearing Chef, and the food was fabulous.  Alcohol was no extra charge.  Friend from Hong Kong has flown them for years, and they are 5 star rated by some Airline Consumer rating unit.  Would not hesitate to use them again.

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