DDW

Looking forward to the invention of cleats in Canada

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1 hour ago, Autonomous said:

... How do you keep the Aussies from spinning to orbit?

They have enough Fosters in their systems to create their own tidal attractive forces, don't they? 

Alternatively, we can install some of the cleats that I understand they use back home:

2116746323_Aussiecleat(conspiracytheory).thumb.jpg.08ddf68b886d8d5bbffb6c862dc3bed5.jpg

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2 hours ago, Dilligaf0220 said:

tumblr_naz658k53p1qcr6iqo1_r1_640.jpg

Dang! I didn't know there were such things.

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5 hours ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

They have enough Fosters in their systems to create their own tidal attractive forces, don't they? 

Alternatively, we can install some of the cleats that I understand they use back home:

2116746323_Aussiecleat(conspiracytheory).thumb.jpg.08ddf68b886d8d5bbffb6c862dc3bed5.jpg

Fosters is for export only.....

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7 hours ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

They have enough Fosters in their systems to create their own tidal attractive forces, don't they? 

Alternatively, we can install some of the cleats that I understand they use back home:

2116746323_Aussiecleat(conspiracytheory).thumb.jpg.08ddf68b886d8d5bbffb6c862dc3bed5.jpg

We don't *drink* Fosters. We *export* it to countries where such pathetic fare is recognised as a premium product.

FKT

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On 9/9/2018 at 8:01 AM, Steam Flyer said:
On 9/9/2018 at 7:47 AM, bplipschitz said:
On 9/7/2018 at 8:20 PM, valis said:
On 9/7/2018 at 8:47 AM, bplipschitz said:

just finished Inferno, about the intentional decimation of Hamburg during WWII from a recommendation found on SA

Are you telling me that Sailing Anarchy recommended that the Allies firebomb Hamburg during WWII???  And the Allies listened to them?  Political Anarchy, right?  Wow.

Little known history, but there it is.

Wow, I had no idea.

I'll have to be more careful with my comments!

-DSK

Indeed -- just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

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17 hours ago, Fleetwood said:

Fosters is for export only.....

 

16 hours ago, Fah Kiew Tu said:

We don't *drink* Fosters. We *export* it to countries where such pathetic fare is recognised as a premium product.

FKT

 

Well, lads, you're in luck.  We Albertans know how to keep our esteemed Aussie guests well hydrated.  And our beer is locally brewed (by Big Rock and by WIld Rose) and locally consumed (heavily, I might add :D)

1736783092_GrizzlyontopofwildlifestructurealongTCHinBanff.jpg.e7d9bf6668b164a29f6911697857cdd2.jpg

224685518_MoraineLakeinBanffNP.thumb.jpg.343db4ece5dd4cd6053fea54cb3ce5af.jpg

p.s., the bear is on a wildlife crossing structure in Banff National Park.  The 'lake-side cleat' is on Moraine Lake in the Valley of the Ten Peaks, also in Banff NP.

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Stumbled across an old bull rail pic.  Washington State (government) dock, Dabob Bay, 1972.

Entire dock has since been removed. 

Problem solved.

j0DGH6F.jpg

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6 hours ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

 

 

Well, lads, you're in luck.  We Albertans know how to keep our esteemed Aussie guests well hydrated.  And our beer is locally brewed (by Big Rock and by WIld Rose) and locally consumed (heavily, I might add :D)

1736783092_GrizzlyontopofwildlifestructurealongTCHinBanff.jpg.e7d9bf6668b164a29f6911697857cdd2.jpg

224685518_MoraineLakeinBanffNP.thumb.jpg.343db4ece5dd4cd6053fea54cb3ce5af.jpg

p.s., the bear is on a wildlife crossing structure in Banff National Park.  The 'lake-side cleat' is on Moraine Lake in the Valley of the Ten Peaks, also in Banff NP.

Our bears seem to prefer Bundy:

 

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Cleat saves ladies life!

Who knew they were were so useful, they could be mounted on mountain roads all over North America to arrest errant drivers from certain death. Failure to launch | The Daily World http://www.thedailyworld.com/news/failure-to-launch/

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Not at all - a proper bull rail would have kept her wheel from going over the edge.

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30 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Not at all - a proper bull rail would have kept her wheel from going over the edge.

If that's the case, I hope someone can explain why Canada fits bull rails to jetties, on which no wheeled vehicles travel ... rather than on roads ;) 

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1 hour ago, SloopJonB said:

Not at all - a proper bull rail would have kept her wheel from going over the edge.

In theory, however in practice, rails seem to force the vehicle to go all the way to the end, where it plunges into deep water.

 

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1 minute ago, toddster said:

In theory, however in practice, rails seem to force the vehicle to go all the way to the end, where it plunges into deep water.

 

Two words: bull wall.

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On 9/13/2018 at 1:36 PM, toddster said:

In theory, however in practice, rails seem to force the vehicle to go all the way to the end, where it plunges into deep water.

 

Now I hat is a rather silly question hinge to do.

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Now that was a rather silly thing to do. Something must have caused him to go off the “rails”.

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IIRC, he was spotted burgling, and the cops were after him.  Turned out that the cops were rather better swimmers than he was.    And had, you know... boats.  

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Today I had a chance to personally check our defences against gun-toting, humungoburger-eating invaders ;).  I was down at Steveston Docks.  This is a bit south of Vancouver (B.C., Canada, that is), and is about as close to the border with Washington State as you can get.  I'm pleased :P to report the following observation:

1121478345_StevestonDock-bullrail.jpg.89dc6f25cffc937fadb830bf661647e3.jpg

There were cleats at Steveston.  But I'm not telling you where :P.  Well, ok, I'll tell you: they were in the area reserved for local commercial fisherfolk (um, what is the politically-correct, gender-neutral term here?).  But I would submit to you that it would be bad for your health (and that of your boat) for you to try to elbow your way through these fisherfolk to those cleats.

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1 hour ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

Today I had a chance to personally check our defences against gun-toting, humungoburger-eating invaders ;).  I was down at Steveston Docks.  This is a bit south of Vancouver (B.C., Canada, that is), and is about as close to the border with Washington State as you can get.  I'm pleased :P to report the following observation:

1121478345_StevestonDock-bullrail.jpg.89dc6f25cffc937fadb830bf661647e3.jpg

There were cleats at Steveston.  But I'm not telling you where :P.  Well, ok, I'll tell you: they were in the area reserved for local commercial fisherfolk (um, what is the politically-correct, gender-neutral term here?).  But I would submit to you that it would be bad for your health (and that of your boat) for you to try to elbow your way through these fisherfolk to those cleats.

Everyone take note. One loop, one hitch, then double up the line in a loop for your next hitch around the rail, finish it with a couple double line hitches around your dock line and yer good to go. No fucking problem eh?

 

 

 

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The question isn't about the proper way to tie to a bull rail. The question is why they have to be so splintery. 

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10 hours ago, fufkin said:

 

 

 
1

How do we break it gently to Canadians that harbours are not actually used for cattle?  ;) 

Boat ≠ Calf.

Calf breathe.  Boat no breathe.

Calf live on land. Boat live in water.

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10 hours ago, fufkin said:

Everyone take note. One loop, one hitch, then double up the line in a loop for your next hitch around the rail, finish it with a couple double line hitches around your dock line and yer good to go. No fucking problem eh?

that run isn't going to win that cowboy the prize money

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

How do we break it gently to Canadians that harbours are not actually used for cattle?  ;) 

Boat ≠ Calf.

Calf breathe.  Boat no breathe.

Calf live on land. Boat live in water.

True.  But if he can that quickly tie a bolting, wriggling, purposefully uncooperative (although I'll stop short of calling it smart) calf, then imagine how easily he can tie your 'dumb', fat-hipped boat even in a squalling cross-wind.

P.s., I like that fufkin used a Calgary Stampede reference.  This is billed as the "Greatest Outdoor Show On Earth" (hey, not just my words; Google the term).  We were also just billed by the Economist Intelligence Unit as the 'Fourth most liveable city in the world".  Yes, I'm gloating :D

2 hours ago, IStream said:

The question isn't about the proper way to tie to a bull rail. The question is why they have to be so splintery. 

The reason?  Well, to remind you that you are no longer out on open water, and that as such it is time to put on some clothes ;).  You're not in Los Angeles anymore, Toto.

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34 minutes ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

P.s., I like that fufkin used a Calgary Stampede reference.  This is billed as the "Greatest Outdoor Show On Earth" (hey, not just my words; Google the term).  We were also just billed by the Economist Intelligence Unit as the 'Fourth most liveable city in the world".  Yes, I'm gloating :D

2

Clearly, for those who regard slinging ropes around walking beefburgers as the multiple orgasm of cultural fulfilment, Calgary is a cultural mecca.  However, it is theoretically possible that there may be other views on how to nourish the human soul.

34 minutes ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

The reason?  Well, to remind you that you are no longer out on open water, and that as such it is time to put on some clothes ;).  You're not in Los Angeles anymore, Toto.

2
2

Miaow :D :D :D 

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On 9/6/2018 at 11:02 AM, J the landlocked dreamer said:

Forget 'Olive Branches' and the poopy birds which carry them.  Here is a modern form of a peace offering to all :D:

778520447_cleatasapeaceoffering.jpg.aaaa5a636345cae21171cfea6f5abe7e.jpg

Not only is that not a dock cleat ( it's a boat cleat, dock cleats are much heavier built ) it's not even bolted down!

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5 minutes ago, BarfBag said:

Not only is that not a dock cleat ( it's a boat cleat, dock cleats are much heavier built ) it's not even bolted down!

One step at a time, BB. ;) 

We're still trying to help Canadians get their heads around the concept of "cleat".

Phase 2 will introduce the concept of "bolt" ... but that will be the Advanced Course.

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29 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

One step at a time, BB. ;) 

We're still trying to help Canadians get their heads around the concept of "cleat".

Phase 2 will introduce the concept of "bolt" ... but that will be the Advanced Course.

Better hurry with Phase 2. I hear they're planning to use cello tape to install them.

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4 hours ago, Ajax said:

Better hurry with Phase 2. I hear they're planning to use cello tape to install them.

In keeping with your views on us (isn't that all that matters ;)),we were planning to instead use rawhide and fir tree gum. We've heard on your 8-track tape how poorly you play a cello :blink:.  So we want nothing to do with it. Oh, and then we were going to use the rail splinters as kindling to set fire to your boat :P.

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5 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

Clearly, for those who regard slinging ropes around walking beefburgers as the multiple orgasm of cultural fulfilment, Calgary is a cultural mecca.  However, it is theoretically possible that there may be other views on how to nourish the human soul.

Miaow :D :D :D 

To quote a well respected author, "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks" :P.  So admit it: when you were a kid you really dreamed about becoming a cowboy (?um, gender neutral 'cow-handler'? ... or could even that be misconstrued as being biased against feet?), didn't you? ;)

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22 minutes ago, J the landlocked dreamer said:

To quote a well respected author, "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks" :P.  So admit it: when you were a kid you really dreamed about becoming a cowboy (?um, gender neutral 'cow-handler'? ... or could even that be misconstrued as being biased against feet?), didn't you? ;)

Nah, I dreamed of being a poet :) 

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7 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

Clearly, for those who regard slinging ropes around walking beefburgers as the multiple orgasm of cultural fulfilment, Calgary is a cultural mecca.  However, it is theoretically possible that there may be other views on how to nourish the human soul.

If those views don't include burgers then they are not valid.

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6 hours ago, Ajax said:

Better hurry with Phase 2. I hear they're planning to use cello tape to install them.

Robertson screws.

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1 minute ago, monsoon said:
3 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

Nah, I dreamed of being a poet :) 

Thuh ain't moochully 'sclusive.  http://www.cowboypoetry.com/

The moo-verse crown has already been secured in perpetuity by Bellingham's own Dana Lyons

 

 

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22 hours ago, fufkin said:

Everyone take note. One loop, one hitch, then double up the line in a loop for your next hitch around the rail, finish it with a couple double line hitches around your dock line and yer good to go. No fucking problem eh?

Fucking problem, eh?! I gotta pass the whole length under a splintery poisoned board, then double and do another pass (more splinters and bird shit), then two half hitches? I can do a cleat hitch in about 1/4 that time, no spinters, don't ever need to see the bitter end of the line, and I can sweat it in without having to undo the wot half hitches, undo the doubled wrap, then drag my line under a splintery board and redo the whole mess. 

I can tie to a bull rail about 12 different ways. That don't make it better than a cleat in any respect. 

For the 10th time - yeah you can tie a boat to a bull rail. You can tie a boat to a tree or a rock or even a pedestrian, but that don't make it right. 

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3 hours ago, DDW said:

Fucking problem, eh?! I gotta pass the whole length under a splintery poisoned board, then double and do another pass (more splinters and bird shit), then two half hitches? 

I can tie to a bull rail about 12 different ways. That don't make it better than a cleat in any respect. 

 

I'm sure you can and didn't say it was. Lotta horizontal on pier rails where I come from, in cleat challenged Toronto, are made of steel. We don't need to worry about splinters.

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1 hour ago, fufkin said:
5 hours ago, DDW said:

I can tie to a bull rail about 12 different ways. That don't make it better than a cleat in any respect. 

 

I'm sure you can and didn't say it was. Lotta horizontal on pier rails where I come from, in cleat challenged Toronto, are made of steel. We don't need to worry about splinters.

Ah, blessed day: the missing link!

Steel bull rails are an intermediate step on the evolutionary process towards the steel cleat.

Will we have to wait another gelogical era for the cleat to appear?

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I believe that we need a go fund me page to buy enough coach screws and cleats to screw to all Canadians bull rails. We might need to convince Twoleged to lend us some tits for a video by Dylan, apparently that's how the economy tick nowadays.

If despite the tits and the witty prose we don't raise enough dosh, we can reinvite our former origami boat expert and ask him to weld together scavenged bits of tubes to fabrticate cleats for a Canuck dollar.

 

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1 hour ago, Panoramix said:

I believe that we need a go fund me page to buy enough coach screws and cleats to screw to all Canadians bull rails. We might need to convince Twoleged to lend us some tits for a video by Dylan, apparently that's how the economy tick nowadays.

If despite the tits and the witty prose we don't raise enough dosh, we can reinvite our former origami boat expert and ask him to weld together scavenged bits of tubes to fabrticate cleats for a Canuck dollar.

2

Bad news, Pano: my tits are not of the voluminous size required for effective use of that marketing strategy.

So I think your second proposal has more mileage.  Once BS has flooded Canuckistan with hideous FrnakenCleats, the Canuckistanis will finally be shamed into making some real cleats.

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1 hour ago, Panoramix said:

I believe that we need a go fund me page to buy enough coach screws and cleats to screw to all Canadians bull rails. We might need to convince Twoleged to lend us some tits for a video by Dylan, apparently that's how the economy tick nowadays.

If despite the tits and the witty prose we don't raise enough dosh, we can reinvite our former origami boat expert and ask him to weld together scavenged bits of tubes to fabrticate cleats for a Canuck 

Oh my!

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3 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

Bad news, Pano: my tits are not of the voluminous size required for effective use of that marketing strategy.

So I think your second proposal has more mileage.  Once BS has flooded Canuckistan with hideous FrnakenCleats, the Canuckistanis will finally be shamed into making some real cleats.

I am sure that you are just too modest.

2 hours ago, monsoon said:

Can't we all just get along?!? sob

L-0708-PC-2T.jpg.fe67d2bdceff6b6a72eddad9dd25d089.jpg

We have a design for our scavenged pipes cleats. i wonder if anybody could come up with an origami design.

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I've seen a few metal bull rails but never been to the hospital because of them. You can at least sweat a line on one and they don't shed splinters. The ones for example on the breakwater at Lund are in bad shape but still work. There are nice new galvanized ones at the Toba marina and they work better than wood bull rails by far. But still far behind cleats. 

Maybe Canada can cast cleats out of all the steel they can't sell to the USA now because of Fuck Head's tariffs. 

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11 hours ago, DDW said:

Fucking problem, eh?! I gotta pass the whole length under a splintery poisoned board, then double and do another pass (more splinters and bird shit), then two half hitches? I can do a cleat hitch in about 1/4 that time, no spinters, don't ever need to see the bitter end of the line, and I can sweat it in without having to undo the wot half hitches, undo the doubled wrap, then drag my line under a splintery board and redo the whole mess. 

I can tie to a bull rail about 12 different ways. That don't make it better than a cleat in any respect. 

For the 10th time - yeah you can tie a boat to a bull rail. You can tie a boat to a tree or a rock or even a pedestrian, but that don't make it right. 

You're still not doing it right.

You don't need to pass the entire line under the bull-rail.

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34 minutes ago, BarfBag said:

You're still not doing it right.

You don't need to pass the entire line under the bull-rail.

No, indeed you don't.  The alternative which you seem to be advocating is to leave the bitter end free and pass a loop under the bull rail ... thereby doubling the amount of expensive mooring line which gets filled with splinters.

Does Canada do this to boost rope sales?  Or just for the fun of having dockline-handlers crippled y splintered hands?

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Just cheap.

And we got lots of wood.

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Well i prefer bull rails so when i get back from my trapline in north vancouver and paddle into granville island to sell my pelts to the tourists, i cando a midship tie anywhere.:D

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12 hours ago, BarfBag said:

You're still not doing it right.

You don't need to pass the entire line under the bull-rail.

 

On 9/18/2018 at 9:08 PM, fufkin said:

Everyone take note. One loop, ....

Just following his instructions. But whether you do the whole length or just a bight, it's still slow, splintering, and annoying. Cleats just work better. "." That's a period. 

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I found this picture of a good bull rail installation, new in Silva Bay in 2006. What is there not to like about a nice clean splinter-free bull rail?

r34fxLZ.jpg

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rail what rail ?

 

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27 minutes ago, Ishmael said:

I found this picture of a good bull rail installation, new in Silva Bay in 2006. What is there not to like about a nice clean splinter-free bull rail?

r34fxLZ.jpg

Whatcha doin' up there, Hon?

Just taking a picture of this bull rail installation, Sweetie...Be right down. 

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Personally I'd tie off to the gal's legs. Nice and smooth, no splinters, and easy to sweat in.....

I was at Sullivan bay two years ago and can assure you of splinters on their bull rails. 

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1 hour ago, DDW said:

Personally I'd tie off to the gal's legs. Nice and smooth, no splinters, and easy to sweat in.....

1

That would make for an interesting criminal trial

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16 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

That would make for an interesting criminal trial

Not if it was consensual.

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1 minute ago, Ajax said:
18 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

That would make for an interesting criminal trial

Not if it was consensual.

Good luck proving that to the jury

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7 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

Good luck proving that to the jury

May be "she asked for it her perfect legs were much smoother than the bull rail" could be tried. You never know you can always hope that the male judge had a row with his wife the day before and is really grumpy with the opposite sex.

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14 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

Good luck proving that to the jury

You're right, she'd never admit it if it was consensual.

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As much as I hate to divert us from the Silva Bay bare legs, here is an example of bull rails on a boat. Very nice!

1227005038_bullrailsonaboat.thumb.jpg.9ce45b8df34e20cd3829d3ade00cb88d.jpg

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9 hours ago, Bull City said:

As much as I hate to divert us from the Silva Bay bare legs, here is an example of bull rails on a boat. Very nice!

1227005038_bullrailsonaboat.thumb.jpg.9ce45b8df34e20cd3829d3ade00cb88d.jpg

If that was alongside a jetty with bullrails, the possibilities for tying up would be endless! That's the whole point of bull rails - you can use any combination of lines to tie up any length boat anywhere along the jetty...unlike fixed cleats, which are pretty much like defining parking spots with parking meters and painted lines. I am surprised that anarchists south of the 40th parallel are not embracing bull rails like another great Canadian invention - the Robertson screw.

image.png.2b4f87b000f74db6774a00a39daaa0d0.png

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If you look at the deck picture of that boat, that is a bulwark with freeing scuppers. I doubt seriously that they are tying the thing up with those. 

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47 minutes ago, DDW said:

If you look at the deck picture of that boat, that is a bulwark with freeing scuppers. I doubt seriously that they are tying the thing up with those. 

 

14 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Spoilsport

Notice to mariners: don't let Canuckistanis moor your nice wooden boat ;) 

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13 minutes ago, TwoLegged said:

 

Notice to mariners: don't let Canuckistanis moor your nice wooden boat ;) 

Who needs mooring lines? A couple of 1X6's nailed to the matching bullrails will hold it way better.

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4 hours ago, Ishmael said:

Who needs mooring lines? A couple of 1X6's nailed to the matching bullrails will hold it way better.

You can also use galvanized chain. Then you don't need a hammer. Which reminds of a Navy joke:

A boatswain's mate asks a machinist's mate if he can borrow a wrench. The machinist's mate says, "Sure. What size?" The boatswain's mate answers, "Just give me the biggest one you got. I'm gonna use it for hammer."

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You don't really want to say that on a ship - they us some MoFo big wrenches.

image.png.cf309696b5352e4918be308c17a069bf.png

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21 hours ago, TwoLegged said:

 

Notice to mariners: don't let Canuckistanis moor your nice wooden boat ;) 

Now, if they are going to install varnished teak bull rails that are cleaned each day, then some of my objections would disappear. 

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A gentleman would use a bull rail doily...

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OK, after all this time we should give the Americans the 'real' explanation for bull rails. It dates back to 1963 when we were considering single payer healthcare. There were obvious cost issues and the government was faced with a difficult choice - dock cleats (we have socialized docking after all) or 'free' healthcare. Being a government they did not want to be responsible in such a complex matter so they decided to have a national referendum. Free healthcare won over cleats 51-% to 49%. As a result we have had to make do with bull rails every since. Hope that clarifies it for everyone. Now I have to tie up by boat on the rail and go have a free operation to get the splinters out.

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On 9/22/2018 at 6:16 PM, Bull City said:

As much as I hate to divert us from the Silva Bay bare legs, here is an example of bull rails on a boat. Very nice!

1227005038_bullrailsonaboat.thumb.jpg.9ce45b8df34e20cd3829d3ade00cb88d.jpg

I'd have said 'that boat has scuppers' rather than 'that boat has a bull rail'

 

Pleasant lines though

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1 hour ago, luminary said:

I'd have said 'that boat has scuppers' rather than 'that boat has a bull rail'

 

Pleasant lines though

The new docks in Port Alice have cleats and scuppers. Unfortunately, they don't have a very good breakwater.

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Here we are tied up in Ahousat, where they have cleats, sorta, but no scuppers. Ahousat+dock.jpg

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3 minutes ago, Ishmael said:

Here we are tied up in Ahousat, where they have cleats, sorta, but no scuppers. Ahousat+dock.jpg

The tire fenders make up for it.

Did you run into BS while you were there? Looks like he consulted on that dock.

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1 hour ago, luminary said:

I'd have said 'that boat has scuppers' rather than 'that boat has a bull rail'

 

Manners, please!

You're letting facts intrude on a good windup

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2 hours ago, luminary said:

I'd have said 'that boat has scuppers' rather than 'that boat has a bull rail'

In case you didn't notice, this thread presumes a sense of humor.

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9 hours ago, Bristol-Cruiser said:

OK, after all this time we should give the Americans the 'real' explanation for bull rails. It dates back to 1963 when we were considering single payer healthcare. There were obvious cost issues and the government was faced with a difficult choice - dock cleats (we have socialized docking after all) or 'free' healthcare. Being a government they did not want to be responsible in such a complex matter so they decided to have a national referendum. Free healthcare won over cleats 51-% to 49%. As a result we have had to make do with bull rails every since. Hope that clarifies it for everyone. Now I have to tie up by boat on the rail and go have a free operation to get the splinters out.

Was Donald Trump president of Canada at that time?

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1 hour ago, Bull City said:

Was Donald Trump president of Canada at that time?

image.png.8dc7e5116f7b9da38f60e16fa3b652b4.png

No, it was Ted Cruz (we called him Teddy) before he decided he wanted to be a comboy.

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