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Point Break

WTF Australia

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Crikey!!

 

With all the godzilla spiders and snakes I'm surprised there are any rodents left. Spiders probably ate all the cats.

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Pffft. We've always got one or two of them wandering around the walls or ceilings. The missus didn't like it one night when one fell off the ceiling onto her face.

 

Now, the Bird-Eating Spider... that's one I don't want building webs over the front path.

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Pffft. We've always got one or two of them wandering around the walls or ceilings. The missus didn't like it one night when one fell off the ceiling onto her face.

 

Now, the Bird-Eating Spider... that's one I don't want building webs over the front path.

 

:blink:

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Its the snake eating spider that scares the sh*t out of me.

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Crikey!!

 

With all the godzilla spiders and snakes I'm surprised there are any rodents left. Spiders probably ate all the cats.

WTF? Pussy eating spiders?

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Everything is big in Australia. Wait! I forgot about Randumb and Bent's er..issues. Nearly all things in Australia are big.

 

 

 

07144942_0088.jpg

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big_prawn.jpg

the barbie for that prawn would need to be a blast furnace.

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343572-giant-koala.jpg

 

 

Is that a giant spider hanging out of its left nostril?

 

Its a huntsman, getting ready to drag it away.....

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he gets egg on his face all the time. and he waffles.

 

Blue waffles?

 

those are balls, not waffles.

 

i laugh at him all the time too snagggy

 

You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

 

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

 

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

 

Hard to achieve when he's hung like a half eaten Tic Tac, allegedly.

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

 

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

You have a caged dog? So stalking me isn't your only issue.

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

 

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

Hard to achieve when he's hung like a half eaten Tic Tac, allegedly.
And we can add agreeing with your own sock to the list.

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

Hard to achieve when he's hung like a half eaten Tic Tac, allegedly.
And we can add agreeing with your own sock to the list.
Ya gotta admit, it's better than disagreeing with yourself........"yes I do" "no I don't" "yes I do" "up yours" "same to me".........

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You are a happy little Vegemite this morning mate. What is your problem with me? Did I bang your sister or something?

The women you leave unhappy and unsatisfied with your angry inch aren't my problem mate.

 

But please, quit trying to fuck the dog. He's not caged for your pleasure.

Hard to achieve when he's hung like a half eaten Tic Tac, allegedly.
And we can add agreeing with your own sock to the list.

 

Sock? What's with you nutjobs and socks?

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ajkyYLz.png

 

Going fishing ?

These giant earthworms average 1 metre (3.3 ft) long and 2 centimetres (0.79 in) in diameter and can reach 3 metres (9.8 ft) in length; however, their body is able to expand and contract making them appear much larger. On average they weigh about 200 grams (0.44 lb).[1][2] They have a dark purple head and a blue-grey body, and about 300 to 400 body segments.[3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Gippsland_earthworm

 

They are usually very sluggish, but when they move rapidly through their underground burrows, it can cause an audible gurgling or sucking sound which allows them to be detected.[4][5]

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ajkyYLz.png

 

Going fishing ?

These giant earthworms average 1 metre (3.3 ft) long and 2 centimetres (0.79 in) in diameter and can reach 3 metres (9.8 ft) in length; however, their body is able to expand and contract making them appear much larger. On average they weigh about 200 grams (0.44 lb).[1][2] They have a dark purple head and a blue-grey body, and about 300 to 400 body segments.[3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_Gippsland_earthworm

 

They are usually very sluggish, but when they move rapidly through their underground burrows, it can cause an audible gurgling or sucking sound which allows them to be detected.[4][5]

Damn, that right there is a pretty fair description of my dick.

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

Canadians

 

 

That's case-specific.

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

As a former prime minister of ours said: 'life wasn't meant to be easy....."

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

 

There's a bunch of little birds here that seem more interested in shitting on our boat than killing us. And the flying foxes seem pretty harmless.

 

Then there's this, similar to signs we've seen all over downtown Brisbane:

 

r292341_1251857.jpg

 

 

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Yeah, the kids sometimes have to wear ice cream buckets on their heads when walking to and from school if going past magpie nests.

True!

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Yeah, but they were here first.

 

So are we going to give the planet back to the blue-green algae?

 

 

I'm not sure that's a good question to ask right now.

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Yeah, but they were here first.

 

So are we going to give the planet back to the blue-green algae?

 

 

I'm not sure that's a good question to ask right now.

 

 

I thought the crows and the magpies were imports in Oz.

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Yeah, but they were here first.

So are we going to give the planet back to the blue-green algae?

 

 

I'm not sure that's a good question to ask right now.

I thought the crows and the magpies were imports in Oz.

No, they're locals.

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Yeah, but they were here first.

So are we going to give the planet back to the blue-green algae?

 

 

I'm not sure that's a good question to ask right now.

I thought the crows and the magpies were imports in Oz.

No, they're locals.

 

Magpies

The Australian magpie (Cracticus tibicen) is a medium-sized black and white passerine bird native to Australia and southern New Guinea. Although once considered to be three separate species, it is now considered to be one, with nine recognised subspecies. A member of the Artamidae, the Australian magpie is classified in the butcherbird genus Cracticus and is most closely related to the black butcherbird (C. quoyi). It is not, however, related to the European magpie, which is a corvid.

From: Wikipedia

 

Crows

There are six members of the family Corvidae found in Australia: five native breeding species and one infrequent self-introduction. Three are called crows and three ravens, although there is really little difference.

From: Birds in Backyards

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What's a self-introduced species? Humans?

(Tho' many of us came here as convicts - didn't have much choice!)

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It's those Plovers you have to watch out for. Spikes on their wings and they aim to hit...... Cheeky fooksspur-winged-plover-at-nest-1.jpg

Got that right! I don't know about the Plovers down under but when Mrs PB & I hiked across northern England in 2013 the Plovers were nesting. One day on the high moors it was pissed off bird after bird as we walked. Sheesh.....spent 1/2 the time ducking and the other half laughing.

 

I don't remember spikes though....

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It's Australia, everything has spikes.

Even the librarians.Only on the inside.

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It's Australia, everything has spikes.

Even the librarians.

 

Especially the librarians!

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and yet none of these compare to the plants - especially the gympie-gympie stinging tree - http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/topics/science-environment/2009/06/gympie-gympie-once-stung,-never-forgotten/

 

North Queensland road surveyor A.C. Macmillan was among the first to document the effects of a stinging tree, reporting to his boss in 1866 that his packhorse “was stung, got mad, and died within two hours”. Similar tales abound in local folklore of horses jumping in agony off cliffs and forestry workers drinking themselves silly to dull the intractable pain.

Writing to Marina in 1994, Australian ex-serviceman Cyril Bromley described falling into a stinging tree during mili­tary training on the tableland in World War II. Strapped to a hospital bed for three weeks and administered all manner of unsuccessful treatments, he was sent “as mad as a cut snake” by the pain. Cyril also told of an officer shooting himself after using a stinging-tree leaf for “toilet purposes”.

He’s had too many stings to count but Ernie Rider will never forget the day in 1963 that he was slapped in the face, arms and chest by a stinging tree. “I remember it feeling like there were giant hands trying to squash my chest,” he said. “For two or three days the pain was almost unbearable; I couldn’t work or sleep, then it was pretty bad pain for another fortnight or so. The stinging persisted for two years and recurred every time I had a cold shower.”

 

“Being stung is the worst kind of pain you can imagine - like being burnt with hot acid and electrocuted at the same time,” said Marina, who at the time was a postgraduate student at James Cook University investigating the herbivores that eat stinging trees.

 

And the worst thing is - even a dead leaf from the tree will deliver the same poison as a live one.

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Talking about spikes..... Watch out for these rascles. They have a tendency to roll up into a ball and hurtle them self and unsuspecting tourists.

 

14_VL_Echidna_3.jpg

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I wonder why Northern (in Oz) climes have more nasty stingy bitey things than down south. and we mentioned the Funnel web or the box jelly or stone fish yet?

 

Oh and watch out for these really cute little octopus.You'll find these all over australia...fortunately mainly in rock pools covered by at least a metre high tide and we tend to have small tide variences

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus

 

There are tiny and look really pretty..when they're cross

Like to hang out in rockpools and they are the worlds deadliest.

 

hZAuyZH.png

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It's Australia, everything has spikes.

Saying ouch is a bit of an understatement, Platypus stings cause one of the most excruciating pain any animal can cause, sending your body into anaphylactic shock, (when your nerves turn off because of really bad pain) potentially stopping your heart!

 

poisonspur.png

 

But they are so cute!

 

a381248d77463462f7ffd48297c6c1ff.jpg

In the words of Robin Williams,

 

Living proof that God was stoned when he created the earth.

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It's Australia, everything has spikes.

Saying ouch is a bit of an understatement, Platypus stings cause one of the most excruciating pain any animal can cause, sending your body into anaphylactic shock, (when your nerves turn off because of really bad pain) potentially stopping your heart!

 

poisonspur.png

 

But they are so cute!

 

a381248d77463462f7ffd48297c6c1ff.jpg

In the words of Robin Williams,

 

Living proof that God was stoned when he created the earth.

 

"Take me platypus duck Bill, take me platypus duck..."

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It's Australia, everything has spikes.

Saying ouch is a bit of an understatement, Platypus stings cause one of the most excruciating pain any animal can cause, sending your body into anaphylactic shock, (when your nerves turn off because of really bad pain) potentially stopping your heart!

 

poisonspur.png

 

But they are so cute!

 

a381248d77463462f7ffd48297c6c1ff.jpg

In the words of Robin Williams,

 

Living proof that God was stoned when he created the earth.

 

Yeah its an interesting place where the top predators (apart from us) are reptiles!

(Got to do with the relatively small size and isolation of the continent, and the climate.)

None of them new-fangled modern mammals; we'll make do with monotremes and marsupials.....

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

There's a bunch of little birds here that seem more interested in shitting on our boat than killing us. And the flying foxes seem pretty harmless.

 

Then there's this, similar to signs we've seen all over downtown Brisbane:

 

r292341_1251857.jpg

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A7Gw217EJ4

 

 

Flying foxes, harmless? Check out hendra virus.

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please tell me the above pic the wedge didn't kill the roo. because then all humans are on the menu too. Wait this is austraila, humans are on the menu, the top predators are not human

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Our Wedgies are a very impressive bird....

 

55aa7fe09178015f59ef6cf6b4b2c1de.jpg

 

wedge-tail-eagle-fox-5.jpg?w=460

 

hqdefault.jpg

 

eagle-kangaroo.jpg

Any guy that survived high school gym classes has seen more impressive wedgies than that.

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Fucking christ.... is there anything over there that does not want to kill you?? :P

There's a bunch of little birds here that seem more interested in shitting on our boat than killing us. And the flying foxes seem pretty harmless.

 

Then there's this, similar to signs we've seen all over downtown Brisbane:

 

r292341_1251857.jpg

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A7Gw217EJ4

 

Flying foxes, harmless? Check out hendra virus.

Every now and again some poor bastard loses an eye to magpie too. They are unfriendly little fuckers.

Hendra seems to be slipping off the radar again. I havnt heard anything in a few years, and I'm smack in the middle of the outbreak area

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​1856- Using the principal of vapour compression, James Harrison produced the world's first practical refrigerator. He was commissioned by a brewery to build a machine that cooled beer.

http://convictcreations.com/culture/inventions.htm

 

 

 

 

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Never mind the wildlife.

Australians are generally big, loud, ugly, foul-mouthed and drunk, covered in tattoos and always ready for violence. The males are not so bad, though.

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On 11/26/2016 at 3:43 AM, Rantifarian said:

Every now and again some poor bastard loses an eye to magpie too. They are unfriendly little fuckers.

Hendra seems to be slipping off the radar again. I havnt heard anything in a few years, and I'm smack in the middle of the outbreak area

We're filthy with magpies here too. Other birds can't compete with them.

Ever heard of the "mirror test"? They have some contraption with a mirror and a hidden compartment with food, the animal needs to be "self aware" (realize that it's seeing a reflection of itself) to get to the food or remove a sticker. Normally, animals can't get to it, they see the reflection and either don't see it, or don't see it as a reflection of themselves. But a few animals are sentient enough to get through the test ... primates like chimps, orangutans, gorillas, apes, etc.. Humans once they hit about three years old or so can figure it out, one elephant, dolphins, killer whales, some pigs.

And the other animal? Magpies. Fucking magpies.

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12 hours ago, mikewof said:

We're filthy with magpies here too. Other birds can't compete with them.

Ever heard of the "mirror test"? They have some contraption with a mirror and a hidden compartment with food, the animal needs to be "self aware" (realize that it's seeing a reflection of itself) to get to the food or remove a sticker. Normally, animals can't get to it, they see the reflection and either don't see it, or don't see it as a reflection of themselves. But a few animals are sentient enough to get through the test ... primates like chimps, orangutans, gorillas, apes, etc.. Humans once they hit about three years old or so can figure it out, one elephant, dolphins, killer whales, some pigs.

And the other animal? Magpies. Fucking magpies.

Image result for magpie bike helmets

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36 minutes ago, LB 15 said:

Image result for magpie bike helmets

Apparently he had a problem with gulls landing on his head. He could lose the helmet if he stopped eating anchovies and his girlfriend.

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breed 'em tough down under :P

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^

there ya go ...........FunRun ,

 

oxymoron if you ever heard one .

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24 minutes ago, Mid said:

^

there ya go ...........FunRun ,

 

oxymoron if you ever heard one .

Apparently the gators have developed sign making skills. ;)

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1 hour ago, Point Break said:

Apparently the gators have developed sign making skills. ;)

77f5c14f68088e196fb57f248edf17cf.jpg

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