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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  
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theJoker

A bit about me.

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I am a Man of simple taste.

My interests are Tacos and hot lesbians.

However, one of these items I am always denied.

The role of the male is to be a slave, subjugate, expendable automaton of society. But I just wish to sail away from the cesspool of asshole-idiots fuckstains and hypocritical simpletons which consist of the whole human race.

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3 minutes ago, theJoker said:

I am a Man of simple taste.

My interests are Tacos and hot lesbians.

However, one of these items I am always denied.

The role of the male is to be a slave, subjugate, expendable automaton of society. But I just wish to sail away from the cesspool of asshole-idiots fuckstains and hypocritical simpletons which consist of the whole human race.

Well, goodbye then. Back to Lake Travis?

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2 minutes ago, Ishmael said:

Well, goodbye then. Back to Lake Travis?

Freaks like me aren't welcome in Texas.

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Hey look, Boothy's back!!

A more twisted and deranged version of Boothy, but he's back!

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8 minutes ago, hobot said:

Hey look, Boothy's back!!

A more twisted and deranged version of Boothy, but he's back!

Welle then, he nose howe to macke hisse owne taccos, allongue withe abballone, and MHLs foure evreybodey!

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2 hours ago, theJoker said:

I am a Man of simple taste.

My interests are Tacos and hot lesbians

Do lesbians celebrate taco Tuesday every day of the week?

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2 hours ago, theJoker said:

.... hot lesbians.

 

Been there done that.... I'll stick with the batshite crazy redhead.... at least you'll know what cards your dealt.

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1 minute ago, bmiller said:

Do lesbians celebrate taco Tuesday every day of the week?

Is "celebrate Taco Tuesday" code for eating the taco on Tuesday?  

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1 hour ago, hobot said:

Hey look, Boothy's back!!

A more twisted and deranged version of Boothy, but he's back!

Nah. I mean he started like boothy but then he used some long words...

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Tacos and lesbians gave him away. Except the was no mention of coke.

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3 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

why cantte he juste by a taco?

If his mouth if full of taco can he still type? jesus......here you go..

MV5BYTkwY2IyZmUtZjEzMC00ODRkLTgwZjQtYzg0

ready for your castration?

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He's working on a top secret new invention. Cloaked.

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5 hours ago, Grabbler said:

Maybe he's a shapeshiftster...

28189d1293260767-electric-manual-transfer-case-conversion-shiftster.jpg

I was talking with some guy in front of the O'Reilly's a few months ago, mountain redneck, my favorite kind of person to shoot some pool or have some beers at Rock Rest. We got to talking about his truck, then his transmission, he starts describing a Shiftster. I had forgotten all about them, but some little corner of my memory woke up, "what's the name of that thing?"

"It's just called a shifter (that's what he called it) you can't it in there, you have to order it from the internet."

Boothy pops up when you least expect him.

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16 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

why cantte he juste by a taco?

I can buy a taco, can't buy hot lesbians. Last time I tried to pick up a hooker got a warning from a copper never to do it again. Can't escape my fate, we live in a rigged reality. The universe is cock-blocking me and there's nothing I can do.

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15 hours ago, nacradriver said:

Is "celebrate Taco Tuesday" code for eating the taco on Tuesday?  

No I mean it quite litterally. I like tacos and I like lesbians. There is no double entendre here. I geniunely like eating tacos, I like the smell of woman and I like the female form, but I do not enjoy fish-tacos if you know what I mean. I like the idea of fish-tacos, but not the actual smell or it or the shape of it up close. More of a leg luster. If I was a lesbian, I'd be a tribber, not a dipper.

Let me say it like this. If my whole life consisted of nothing but tacos and hot lesbians, I'd be a happy camper.

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13 hours ago, By the lee said:

If his mouth if full of taco can he still type? jesus......here you go..

MV5BYTkwY2IyZmUtZjEzMC00ODRkLTgwZjQtYzg0

ready for your castration?

As a kid I was one of those castration freaks who had a high sex drive they couldn't control and so I tried to cut off my balls.

Nowadays, I have flatlined and so if a hot dominatrix ever dolled me up or sissified me in girls clothes, Personally I would not wish to be castrated and keep my balls. Too many ballless wussies and pussies in modern society with their rules and regs telling me what to do. People need to grow their balls not shrink or cut them off.

Personally, I am a big fan of the snake in Rango, just a total badass and I think he was a cool character. Sometimes I feel like I want to be like that snake in rango, just telling people what wussies and pussies they are, you know?

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Oh, I got it now....

This guy's just more rejected riffraff from the WBF.

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47 minutes ago, hobot said:

Oh, I got it now....

This guy's just more rejected riffraff from the WBF.

What is WBF? Welcome Back Forums? Personally I don't like your negative attitude. I prefer a positive, happy environment with supportive people. Otherwise, I'm liable to lose my temper. And you don't want to see me when I'm angry.

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1 hour ago, theJoker said:

As a kid I was one of those castration freaks who had a high sex drive they couldn't control and so I tried to cut off my balls.

Nowadays, I have flatlined and so if a hot dominatrix ever dolled me up or sissified me in girls clothes, Personally I would not wish to be castrated and keep my balls. 

 

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Just now, LB 15 said:

 

Personally, I'm a "quiet zone" and can't hear musical tunes. Could you elaborate to me what the song is about?

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1 hour ago, theJoker said:

No I mean it quite litterally. I like tacos and I like lesbians. There is no double entendre here. I geniunely like eating tacos, I like the smell of woman and I like the female form, but I do not enjoy fish-tacos if you know what I mean. I like the idea of fish-tacos, but not the actual smell or it or the shape of it up close. More of a leg luster. If I was a lesbian, I'd be a tribber, not a dipper.

Let me say it like this. If my whole life consisted of nothing but tacos and hot lesbians, I'd be a happy camper.

So you're just finding out now you are a lesbian?

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15 minutes ago, theJoker said:

What is WBF? Welcome Back Forums? Personally I don't like your negative attitude. I prefer a positive, happy environment with supportive people. Otherwise, I'm liable to lose my temper. And you don't want to see me when I'm angry.

Getting tough already princess? 

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3 minutes ago, nacradriver said:

So you're just finding out now you are a lesbian?

My grandpa told me he was a lesbian, and then I finally opened up to my own thoughts and feelings and recognized that I too, am truly a lesbian. I am a schizophrenic and so it is hard for me to connect with my multitude of "selves". Buddha often spoke the truth of no-self and I too, am an enlightened guru in a way. Unfortunately, the world doesn't accept me, being a freak and all and only a product of the chemical concoctions of society. I will make a separate thread about this and my transition to lesbian.

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4 minutes ago, artie_pitt said:

Getting tough already princess? 

Tough in what way?

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1 minute ago, DRIFTW00D said:

Is it special welcome time yet?

Do I get any presents? I've always liked suprises.

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23 minutes ago, theJoker said:

Personally, I'm a "quiet zone" and can't hear musical tunes. Could you elaborate to me what the song is about?

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
I'm dressin' sharp 'n' I'm actin' cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work 'n' maybe later I'll rape her
Oh God I am the American dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
An' I'm a handsome son of a bitch
I'm gonna get a good job 'n' be real rich
(Get a good
Get a good
Get a good
Get a good job)
Women's Liberation
Came creepin' across the nation
I tell you people I was not ready
When I f**** this d**e by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say "when"
She had my b**** in a vice, but she left the d***
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick
Oh God I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable son of a bitch
Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which
(I wonder wonder
Wonder wonder)
So I went out 'n' bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promo
An' none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo
Eventually me 'n' a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower
Oh God I am the American dream
With a spindle up my b*** till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin', "Thank you, Fred!"
Oh God, oh God, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin down,
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin down, etc.
Bobby Brown lyrics © O/B/O Apra Amcos
 

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3 minutes ago, LB 15 said:

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
I'm dressin' sharp 'n' I'm actin' cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work 'n' maybe later I'll rape her
Oh God I am the American dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
An' I'm a handsome son of a bitch
I'm gonna get a good job 'n' be real rich
(Get a good
Get a good
Get a good
Get a good job)
Women's Liberation
Came creepin' across the nation
I tell you people I was not ready
When I f**** this d**e by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say "when"
She had my b**** in a vice, but she left the d***
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick
Oh God I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable son of a bitch
Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which
(I wonder wonder
Wonder wonder)
So I went out 'n' bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promo
An' none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo
Eventually me 'n' a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower
Oh God I am the American dream
With a spindle up my b*** till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin', "Thank you, Fred!"
Oh God, oh God, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin down,
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin down, etc.
Bobby Brown lyrics © O/B/O Apra Amcos
 

Ah, the good old days where you could slap a woman and not go to jail for it. Thankyou feminism for removing my only real outlet of emotional satisfaction.

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1 hour ago, theJoker said:

I am a schizophrenic and so it is hard for me to connect with my multitude of "selves"....   I will make a separate thread about this and my transition to lesbian.

So I have to ask, does your psychiatrist charge per personality or you on the volume discount program?   I wish my wife would get schizophrenia that way so she can spend all day nagging herself while I go sailing..

With regards to the transition... don't forget the pics.. we like hot lesbian pics..

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So Feminism prevents you from slapping yourself?? I don't think you should let it and commence immediately. We will patiently await the success of your endeavors and judge that success by your lack of ever posting here again....

 

WL

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Poops - you post that again and I'm going to hunt you down and castrate you with a blowtorch - and then break all your fingers so you can't scratch your nutsack once it starts to scab and heal.   You are a rotten, miserable SOB of very questionable moral character and absolutely no taste.  
You just can't un-see something... 

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1 hour ago, A guy in the Chesapeake said:

Poops -  You are a rotten, miserable SOB of very questionable moral character and absolutely no taste. 

You just can't un-see something... 

Considering the environment one would say Poops is in good company.

But I do agree... you can't un-see dat shite

Here lets fix that with some eyewash

tumblr_ni86ydV5S21u48k5no1_250.gif

 

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On 6/7/2017 at 0:09 PM, theJoker said:

I can buy a taco, can't buy hot lesbians. Last time I tried to pick up a hooker got a warning from a copper never to do it again. Can't escape my fate, we live in a rigged reality. The universe is cock-blocking me and there's nothing I can do.

You're absolutely right -- there is no Free Will, just the appearance of it.

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7 hours ago, Black Jack said:

It doesn't get better south of the border.  Stick to the drive thru Taco Bell.

Esta señora se puso a insultar....

 

1f0eae3440e8b69b4f181f1d6022b82f2d438165

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On 6/7/2017 at 4:23 PM, nacradriver said:

So I have to ask, does your psychiatrist charge per personality or you on the volume discount program?   I wish my wife would get schizophrenia that way so she can spend all day nagging herself while I go sailing..

With regards to the transition... don't forget the pics.. we like hot lesbian pics..

As a schizophrenic talking to myself becomes very dull and boring. My deepest fear is being alone and ignored. I am a psychopath sociopath and narcissist and although I can't stand being around people, and while it's true people make me feel uncomfortable, I much prefer being around people than being alone. I would much rather experience drama instead of nothingness. Boredom is the worst form of torture.

I have grew out of my lesbian porn phase and moved on to other porn, however it is very rare that I jack off to any porn anymore. Some claim I am asexual but I am not fully asexual, I still desire companionship and I do get off to certain taboo BDSM scenarios. The reason I hate porn is because I hate all the people in the porn and I want to choke them like darth vader, I try to choke the screen with my thumb and index finger but sadly they do not choke and the porn goes on. Sometimes I think about shooting the TV but then I would just be mad that I had to hurt my perfectly good TV, my only friend in the house as the TV is the only entity in my home who ever talks to me.

 

On 6/7/2017 at 5:52 PM, Frers381 said:

So Feminism prevents you from slapping yourself?? I don't think you should let it and commence immediately. We will patiently await the success of your endeavors and judge that success by your lack of ever posting here again....

 

WL

I have tried slapping myself but it never gives me the needed sexual release of another person doing it. I pretend I am a happy clown but underneath my smiling exterior is a depressed maniac with a heart so broken sometimes I wonder if it's even there. It takes every ounce of effort for me to make a joke and respond to my loyal fans but when I do it is always of my finest quality standards.

On 6/7/2017 at 11:48 PM, poopie pants said:

this thread needs tits

image removed for sanity

Many people say why do I bother to try to stay sane? Many would say, how could a pic like that bother me when I am already insane. Many say I don't have sanity however I am myself a super sane. I am infact so sane that other people view me as insane. Basically, what I am trying to say is, this town needs a better class of criminal. I have high standards and I won't let such images of low-taste taint the sanity of my happy home. If only my eyes had a built-in security system. Unfortunately Batman already put me into a vat of of botox makeup and bleach and so my eyes are already bleached, that is why they are red, and so I can't bleach out my eyes anymore than they already have been. Bottom line is, don't send pics like to someone who lost the chance to bleach out their eyes.

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51 minutes ago, theJoker said:

As a schizophrenic talking to myself becomes very dull and boring. My deepest fear is being alone and ignored. I am a psychopath sociopath and narcissist and although I can't stand being around people, and while it's true people make me feel uncomfortable, I much prefer being around people than being alone. I would much rather experience drama instead of nothingness. Boredom is the worst form of torture.

I think it's emotionally healthy to talk to yourself. And based on what you wrote there, you may be healthy and happy, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Lesbians are wonderful, and enjoying their culture -- even a pretend one -- is no more perverted than enjoying polka music or video games. And of course, a life without tacos wouldn't be worth living.

It's like Dennis Rodman said, "This life is like a swimming pool. You dive into the water, but you can't see how deep it is."

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9 minutes ago, mikewof said:

I think it's emotionally healthy to talk to yourself. And based on what you wrote there, you may be healthy and happy, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Lesbians are wonderful, and enjoying their culture -- even a pretend one -- is no more perverted than enjoying polka music or video games. And of course, a life without tacos wouldn't be worth living.

It's like Dennis Rodman said, "This life is like a swimming pool. You dive into the water, but you can't see how deep it is."

Schizophrenia is a coping mechanism when you are handed a deck of cards telling you you are always going to be alone.

I tried to enjoy the lesbian culture but they don't want me in it. They tell me the penis is male and because I was born male they say I should be forever alone. It's a world rigged against all males, it's an anti-male world. So it's tough to try to appreciate people who hate me just because of what body I was born to. It's like being treated like a black person, it's like, I didn't ask to be black, I don't identify as black, so it really hurts when you want nothing to do with me just because I was born into a black body. Lesbians are the modern equivalent of racists.

And then I watch shows like the L-word, where I imagine I am a hot lesbian but it just makes it worse. I just feel like that obsolete male who's girlfriend dumps him for another girl, and I'm like...I'm male, I'm obsolete, noone wants me. And then I see all these pics of harley quinn dating poison ivy and I feel like a cuck. Don't know what I'm doing, don't know why I'm here, even Gotham city doesn't appreciate me anymore. And then I go back to watching the L-word, where there's a character who is a male, like me, who says he is a male lesbian, and he's very popular with the women. It just makes me angry, because I tried being a male-lesbian, and they all spat in my face, didn't work for me. Like green goblin said, no matter what you do,  they will always hate you.

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First off, I agree that many countries are becoming anti-male. Men get beaten and abused by wives with no recourse, their children are taken away, divorce courts not only destroy some dads, but get destroy the lives of children who love their dads and then don't get to see them, often when moms are able to violate custody orders with impunity.

But regarding your difficulty with lesbians, I do see the conundrum ... you are attracted to them, but they prefer women. Can't blame them can you? If they make friends with you, you will probably try to get with their women. We're just not like them, blame Mother Nature. But maybe you can be friends with bisexual women right? At least you have those internet dating sites, someone in your position thirty years ago would have probably been SOL. 

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19 minutes ago, mikewof said:

First off, I agree that many countries are becoming anti-male. Men get beaten and abused by wives with no recourse, their children are taken away, divorce courts not only destroy some dads, but get destroy the lives of children who love their dads and then don't get to see them, often when moms are able to violate custody orders with impunity.

But regarding your difficulty with lesbians, I do see the conundrum ... you are attracted to them, but they prefer women. Can't blame them can you? If they make friends with you, you will probably try to get with their women. We're just not like them, blame Mother Nature. But maybe you can be friends with bisexual women right? At least you have those internet dating sites, someone in your position thirty years ago would have probably been SOL. 

Someone like me wouldn't be in my position 30 years ago, lol I would be allowed to smack a woman and teach her some discipline, women wouldn't freely go around busting my balls like a bunch of heartless skanks of the modern era.

I did meet a bisexual woman who was into me, sadly she was married, see all the good ones are taken and that my friend is the problem of monogamy.

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2 hours ago, theJoker said:

Someone like me wouldn't be in my position 30 years ago, lol I would be allowed to smack a woman and teach her some discipline, women wouldn't freely go around busting my balls like a bunch of heartless skanks of the modern era.

I did meet a bisexual woman who was into me, sadly she was married, see all the good ones are taken and that my friend is the problem of monogamy.

So then maybe just embrace your first love of tacos and forget about all these broads?

Y'know, if you add dirt bikes, or kiteboarding to that, you won't even notice the lack of that perfect woman. Bikes and boards are better anyway, trust me, I've been married nearly twenty years, I know. Even with a broken chain on a desolate trail somewhere in the Never Summer range, with a storm coming in, a dirt bike never makes you wish you were dead.

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22 hours ago, mikewof said:

So then maybe just embrace your first love of tacos and forget about all these broads?

Y'know, if you add dirt bikes, or kiteboarding to that, you won't even notice the lack of that perfect woman. Bikes and boards are better anyway, trust me, I've been married nearly twenty years, I know. Even with a broken chain on a desolate trail somewhere in the Never Summer range, with a storm coming in, a dirt bike never makes you wish you were dead.

Never was a fan of BMX games, I always preferred car racing.

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42 minutes ago, theJoker said:

Never was a fan of BMX games, I always preferred car racing.

Formula One? NASCAR? Indy? Drag?

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10 minutes ago, mikewof said:

Formula One? NASCAR? Indy? Drag?

Anything that captures the racing spirit.

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