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Shootist Jeff

LONQR

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The bison taunting seems to contradict Darwin.

They are similar to Moose,  usually respond to irritation by stomping and squishing.

Sitting in the hoosegow a while  will give him a chance to dry out. 

-------------

$33k Pinto.  

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/24/what-may-be-worlds-most-expensive-ford-pinto-sold-for-33000.html

 

 

 

 

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12 hours ago, VWAP said:

Money may not buy happiness but it makes the pursuit of it easier and more enjoyable.

I've seen many surveys of lottery winners and the common thread seems to be that it really doesn't fundamentally change their lives - they just have more money and nicer stuff.

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42 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Money may not buy happiness but it makes the pursuit of it easier and more enjoyable.

I've seen many surveys of lottery winners and the common thread seems to be that it really doesn't fundamentally change their lives - they just have more money and nicer stuff.

 

After the recession torpedoed our incomes for 5 years, people would say to me, "Don't you have less stress now, no longer running a Real Estate Brokerage, 7 days a week, with a dozen people to manage?".  My answer was always; "No, I had much less stress when I made enough money to pay all the bills!!" :lol:   Fortunately everything has worked out okay, in the meantime.......

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On 8/23/2018 at 6:35 PM, Owen said:

927817052_ScreenShot2018-08-22at9_26_07PM.png.32ac36ffebc29728448b872727822232.png

.

.

.

Spoiler alert.

 

 

I don't get it.  What does this have to do with LONQR?  Take this shit to PA!

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The NQR part was my not quite right commentary that would have put me on the shit list of about every suburban mom on my local facebook feed if I'd plopped it there.  FWIW the one local PD that released it was soon scorned by the larger PD and the school district;  the notice was already moot by the time the district had fielded a gazillion panicked phone calls on the first day of school.  

 

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:09 AM, Mike in Seattle said:

The bison taunting seems to contradict Darwin.

They are similar to Moose,  usually respond to irritation by stomping and squishing.

Sitting in the hoosegow a while  will give him a chance to dry out. 

-------------

$33k Pinto.  

http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2018/08/24/what-may-be-worlds-most-expensive-ford-pinto-sold-for-33000.html

From your article "  The book value for a typical Pinto like it is just around $2,500, but there aren’t many, if any, left that can compare." 

The only one I ever drove I bought for $300 - and 8 months later the rust had progressed so that it wouldn't pass inspection, so I pulled the engine and gave it to my uncle to use as a spare for his little 10' plywood pickle-fork hydroplane. 

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Is that the Linda Blair model?

image.png.7571e55571b095004f2cdd7d2b1e5119.png

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I'm not sure if this is LONQR, but its hilarious!

coyote.thumb.jpg.0019b9c53fc2b1a69ed6ba0f5af50aaa.jpg

  • Like 10

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On 8/26/2018 at 11:17 PM, VWAP said:

 

So, what Google search terms does one use to find something like this?

Russian dick fishing?

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1 hour ago, billy backstay said:

Looks staged to me!

wow you must have look really hard at that video to see that. 

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2 hours ago, More Cowbell2 said:

So, what Google search terms does one use to find something like this?

Russian dick fishing?

Saw it on a tv program first 

 

 

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7 hours ago, VWAP said:

The reason she's the old person in britain to have the surgery is because of the NHS waiting list.  He applied when he was 29......

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21 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

She lookes licke Keithe Richades

He's married 

 

2459113-keith-richards-i-patti-hansen-na

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No automatic alt text available.

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21 minutes ago, DA-WOODY said:

No automatic alt text available.

That's actually a somewhat workable solution........ EXCEPT for the failure to consider the holding strength of the railing...

Still wouldn't do that, myself, though...

 

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5 minutes ago, oldgoatroper said:

That's actually a somewhat workable solution........ EXCEPT for the failure to consider the holding strength of the railing...

Still wouldn't do that, myself, though...

 

should have taken a 2x4 behind railing and connected to that , disperse the load across all the sties..

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There's a reason why there are equipment rental places.

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44 minutes ago, oldgoatroper said:

That's actually a somewhat workable solution........ EXCEPT for the failure to consider the holding strength of the railing...

Still wouldn't do that, myself, though...

 

me neithere                           :)

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Also, the two parts of the ladder are not locked together, the hinges can rotate freely. I hope the thing isn't going to fold back to its normal position while he is up there...

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On 8/29/2018 at 12:22 PM, hobot said:

 

I was "WTF" at "wife's boyfriend".  If he's OK with that part, what's the surprise about a push-me-pull-you dildo holding their asses together?

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1 hour ago, Lima November said:

Also, the two parts of the ladder are not locked together, the hinges can rotate freely. I hope the thing isn't going to fold back to its normal position while he is up there...

That's as far as they can rotate in that shot, they can only close against the load of the straps.  

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1 hour ago, atoyot said:

 a push-me-pull-you dildo

WFT?                I dointte watne no                                     :)

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16 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:
  2 hours ago, atoyot said:

 a push-me-pull-you dildo

 

16 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

WFT?                I dointte watne no                                     :)

:wacko:  nevermind  the pics

 

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1 hour ago, Snaggletooth said:

WFT?                I dointte watne no                                     :)

Doctors have to INVENT a new lasso-like tool to remove a 23-inch dildo that was lodged inside a man for 24 hours

  • The concerned 31-year-old went to hospital after he couldn't remove the toy
  • Medics in Milan couldn't get the rubber dildo out using standard methods
  • They said the foreign body was too big and smooth in the BMJ Case Report
  • After scratching their heads, the team crafted a tool that worked like a lasso

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6126415/Italian-doctors-INVENT-new-lasso-like-tool-remove-23-inch-dildo.html

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21 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

WFT?                I dointte watne no                                     :)

It's a direct reference to something the overly-animated fellow playing to the camera says....  the mental image is bad enough.

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apparently  ol' muskie has spouted off again against the divers..   got to love the person at bbc who put this pic together   

the look on the left, hearing something so stupid, you know the facepalm is going to hurt..

 

_103299346_7d122136-acbc-4722-9641-46595

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On 9/3/2018 at 4:39 PM, oldgoatroper said:
On 9/3/2018 at 4:13 PM, DA-WOODY said:

No automatic alt text available.

That's actually a somewhat workable solution........ EXCEPT for the failure to consider the holding strength of the railing...

Still wouldn't do that, myself, though...

Prime example of the humor everyone but paramedics and ED staff completely miss out on when you ask the question "can you explain to me what happened?" Apparently laughing out loud at the answer or saying "you gotta be shitting me"...........is frowned on. Never mind how I know.

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11 minutes ago, Point Break said:

Prime example of the humor everyone but paramedics and ED staff completely miss out on when you ask the question "can you explain to me what happened?" Apparently laughing out loud at the answer or saying "you gotta be shitting me"...........is frowned on. Never mind how I know.

in all fairness it looks like he's working over a bed

installing a surveillance camera instead of a fan, but none the less

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15 minutes ago, Point Break said:

Prime example of the humor everyone but paramedics and ED staff completely miss out on when you ask the question "can you explain to me what happened?" Apparently laughing out loud at the answer or saying "you gotta be shitting me"...........is frowned on. Never mind how I know.

An old friend was head nurse in emergency at St. Pauls - the primary trauma center in Vancouver.

I don't know how she kept a straight face when they were pulling all that stuff out of peoples asses.

She really saw people at their weirdest.

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47 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

An old friend was head nurse in emergency at St. Pauls - the primary trauma center in Vancouver.

I don't know how she kept a straight face when they were pulling all that stuff out of peoples asses.

She really saw people at their weirdest.

:lol:

Had a guy who lost a small vibrator up his ass. It was still running...........it was pretty hard to keep a straight face.

Another guy called us for a rectal bleed....a pretty good one.....his story was he was chasing the dog across the yard in the dark naked on wet grass, slipped and landed on the exposed sprinkler head just right..................okayyyyyyyyyyyy.

Another guy was in the bathroom deader than a beaver hat and after no response from him his wife called 911. We broke down the door and found him with a train transformer that controls the speed of the toy train with a little dial on the box. He had stripped the output wires and stuck one up his ass and wrapped the other around his balls/dick. It was apparently too happy a moment for him and he expired with the dial at about 1/2 "speed". My partner informed the wife that there was nothing we could do for him and he was gone and that she would need to wait with the cops that were there for the coroner to pick up the body. "But how.........how did it happen?" she asked. Without missing a beat my partner said "mam, that policeman will have to tell you" and we walked out past the startled and dumbstruck cop stammering..............

Its a weird world............weird indeed.

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MONKEY NUT 

Drunk man jailed ‘after being beaten up by 10-inch squirrel monkeys’ when he climbed into their zoo enclosure to steal one

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7184542/bloke-jailed-after-being-beaten-up-by-10-inch-squirrel-monkeys-who-left-him-with-a-broken-leg-after-he-tried-to-steal-one/

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Oh the fun time he'll have in Rimutaka Prison.....

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Alcohol is a real wonder drug.

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18 hours ago, VWAP said:

MONKEY NUT 

Drunk man jailed ‘after being beaten up by 10-inch squirrel monkeys’ when he climbed into their zoo enclosure to steal one

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7184542/bloke-jailed-after-being-beaten-up-by-10-inch-squirrel-monkeys-who-left-him-with-a-broken-leg-after-he-tried-to-steal-one/

Those arent ten inch monkey, more like 30 inches of kick your ass monkeys.

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19 hours ago, VWAP said:

MONKEY NUT 

Drunk man jailed ‘after being beaten up by 10-inch squirrel monkeys’ when he climbed into their zoo enclosure to steal one

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7184542/bloke-jailed-after-being-beaten-up-by-10-inch-squirrel-monkeys-who-left-him-with-a-broken-leg-after-he-tried-to-steal-one/

"you had a broken leg, two fractured teeth, a sprained ankle, and bruises on your back"  they hung a pretty wicked lickin' on the dude.

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Just a white van parked at my daughter's high school...IMG_4770.thumb.JPG.1584dd02fab29e2ca82148f488d32994.JPG

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12 hours ago, Dilligaf0220 said:

aNoI8qO.jpg

 

 

OK, now that's some funny shit right there!!!  :lol:

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11 hours ago, chum said:

Man rapes dying roadkill beaver.   prenecrobestiality?    (2 dimensional)

This isn’t “not quite right”, it belong in the “entirely 100% just wrong” thread.   What the hell did the drugs do to his brain?     

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12 minutes ago, Lark said:

Man rapes dying roadkill beaver.   prenecrobestiality?    (2 dimensional)

This isn’t “not quite right”, it belong in the “entirely 100% just wrong” thread.   What the hell did the drugs do to his brain?     

Had a guy in the county jail who took the very thin mattress off the cell bunk and managed to insert his dick into one of the urine draining holes drilled in the sheet metal the mattress lays on whereupon it became larger and therefore stuck such that he was unable to withdraw it. He was babbling along as happy as he could be. Drugs.

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1 hour ago, Lark said:

Man rapes dying roadkill beaver.   prenecrobestiality?    (2 dimensional)

This isn’t “not quite right”, it belong in the “entirely 100% just wrong” thread.   What the hell did the drugs do to his brain?     

It was a beaver - by rights that should have happened in Canada.

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On 9/6/2018 at 11:34 AM, Dilligaf0220 said:

aNoI8qO.jpg

 

 

My truck is a Hybrid....

 

 

It burns Gas and oil!

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11 hours ago, Lark said:

Man rapes dying roadkill beaver.   prenecrobestiality?    (2 dimensional)

This isn’t “not quite right”, it belong in the “entirely 100% just wrong” thread.   What the hell did the drugs do to his brain?     

A decade ago in Wisconsin there was precedent set that intercourse with roadkill is indeed bestiality.

His lawyer argued that an animal ceased to be an animal at death, and should instead be treated as a food fetish.

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7 minutes ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

a47DpRv_460s.jpg

 

 

Thats just not right...................

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13 hours ago, Point Break said:

Had a guy in the county jail who took the very thin mattress off the cell bunk and managed to insert his dick into one of the urine draining holes drilled in the sheet metal the mattress lays on whereupon it became larger and therefore stuck such that he was unable to withdraw it. He was babbling along as happy as he could be. Drugs.

if you heated the metal plate enough .......

 

.

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12 minutes ago, DA-WOODY said:

if you heated the metal plate enough .......

 

.

The sheriffs said we should just start the chainsaw and he would get it out himself. We passed on that idea. They were enjoying themselves immensely at our conundrum............

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12 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

It was a beaver - by rights that should have happened in Canada.

 

The best part was the lady returning and initially thinking he was comforting the beaver. 

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On 9/5/2018 at 6:17 PM, Point Break said:

:lol:

Had a guy who lost a small vibrator up his ass. It was still running...........it was pretty hard to keep a straight face.

Another guy called us for a rectal bleed....a pretty good one.....his story was he was chasing the dog across the yard in the dark naked on wet grass, slipped and landed on the exposed sprinkler head just right..................okayyyyyyyyyyyy.

Another guy was in the bathroom deader than a beaver hat and after no response from him his wife called 911. We broke down the door and found him with a train transformer that controls the speed of the toy train with a little dial on the box. He had stripped the output wires and stuck one up his ass and wrapped the other around his balls/dick. It was apparently too happy a moment for him and he expired with the dial at about 1/2 "speed". My partner informed the wife that there was nothing we could do for him and he was gone and that she would need to wait with the cops that were there for the coroner to pick up the body. "But how.........how did it happen?" she asked. Without missing a beat my partner said "mam, that policeman will have to tell you" and we walked out past the startled and dumbstruck cop stammering..............

Its a weird world............weird indeed.

How’s that book coming along? :P

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41 minutes ago, mad said:

How’s that book coming along? :P

I assume the obvious need for illustrations will slow up it's release?

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On 8/29/2018 at 12:14 AM, Shootist Jeff said:

I'm not sure if this is LONQR, but its hilarious!

coyote.thumb.jpg.0019b9c53fc2b1a69ed6ba0f5af50aaa.jpg

Quick, someone call 911...

 

41244138_1868237836589752_35625420777219

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1 hour ago, Cal20sailor said:
1 hour ago, mad said:

How’s that book coming along? :P

I assume the obvious need for illustrations will slow up it's release?

I halve vollenteered be edittore to.                                               :)

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2 hours ago, mad said:

How’s that book coming along? :P

I keep sitting down to the computer with a glass of scotch to get started.........maybe that’s the problem.

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6 minutes ago, Point Break said:
2 hours ago, mad said:

How’s that book coming along? :P

I keep sitting down to the computer with a glass of scotch to get started.........maybe that’s the problem.

Whast wrongue withe computtere?                   :)

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23 minutes ago, Point Break said:

I keep sitting down to the computer with a glass of scotch to get started.........maybe that’s the problem.

Wait until this winter

 

darkandstormy_5013.jpg

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7 minutes ago, Dorado said:

Wait until this winter

 

darkandstormy_5013.jpg

They were identical  triplets with long red hair along with two of their blond friends from the volleyball team  from the all girl college they attended when after consuming a bunch of cherry fizz coolers as it was a hot day at the pool  two of them started to..........

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23 minutes ago, VWAP said:

They were identical  triplets with long red hair along with two of their blond friends from the volleyball team  from the all girl college they attended when after consuming a bunch of cherry fizz coolers as it was a hot day at the pool  two of them started to..........

Funney howe youre fantanseys our listed in LONQR threade...............................                :)

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7 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

Funney howe youre fantanseys our listed in LONQR threade...............................                :)

Are you drinking again?

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5 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

Yes, hase that beene problem forre you?

no, but you didn't ask about drugs

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Just now, VWAP said:

no, but you didn't ask about drugs

Ime sorrey, didde I aske aboute annythinge?                                             :)

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2,300 Americans hospitalized by pizza in 2017 (including some who fell out of bed reaching for a slice), report reveals

  • The US Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that thousands of Americans went to the ER for pizza-related injuries 
  • It announced the finding in one of its latest PSA memes 
  • Most people were not actually injured by pizza, but rather in its presence 
  • Injuries included cuts, burns, slip-and-falls, and falls from bed for the sake of a slice

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6139607/2-300-Americans-hospitalized-pizza-2017.html

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56 minutes ago, VWAP said:

2,300 Americans hospitalized by pizza in 2017 (including some who fell out of bed reaching for a slice), report reveals

  • The US Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that thousands of Americans went to the ER for pizza-related injuries 
  • It announced the finding in one of its latest PSA memes 
  • Most people were not actually injured by pizza, but rather in its presence 
  • Injuries included cuts, burns, slip-and-falls, and falls from bed for the sake of a slice

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6139607/2-300-Americans-hospitalized-pizza-2017.html

I worked with a guy who was killed by a pizza.

 

He was home alone and choked on a slice.

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On 8/25/2018 at 8:21 PM, SloopJonB said:

Money may not buy happiness but it makes the pursuit of it easier and more enjoyable.

I would bet these guys would disagree with you:

elisabetta-gregoraci4.jpg

hqdefault.jpg

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9 hours ago, Shootist Jeff said:
On 8/25/2018 at 10:21 AM, SloopJonB said:

Money may not buy happiness but it makes the pursuit of it easier and more enjoyable.

I would bet these guys would disagree with you:

elisabetta-gregoraci4.jpg

hqdefault.jpg

 

And the corollary to that is money can't buy love, but it can sure rent a whole lot of first-class affection...

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4 minutes ago, oldgoatroper said:
9 hours ago, Shootist Jeff said:
On ‎8‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 12:21 PM, SloopJonB said:

Money may not buy happiness but it makes the pursuit of it easier and more enjoyable.

I would bet these guys would disagree with you:

elisabetta-gregoraci4.jpg

hqdefault.jpg

 

And the corollary to that is money can't buy love, but it can sure rent a whole lot of first-class affection...

I thick that incluudes sloppey secants to.                            :)

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