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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  
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Sol Rosenberg

Man Robs Bank to Get Away From Wife

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The story said that his depression was undiagnosed.

Does it seem that the older a man gets, the less likely that healthcare folks take the time to diagnose him?

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This guy from La Coruña faked being a truck driver for 14 years to stay away from his wife... Pure genius.

http://haynoticia.es/lleva-14-anos-haciendose-pasar-por-camionero-para-no-aguantar-en-casa-a-su-mujer3333/

""I know that many people find driving boring, but they should've met my wife, spend more than 2 hours with her and you'll see what boring means, I had a stroke of luck and decided that it would be best to get as far away from her as possible"

 

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We had a guy who quietly retired and then every day he would have been at work, he packed up and left the house as if going to work and stayed away for the whole shift. He got away with it for @6 months. Right up until his wife dropped by the station to pick up a something or other. Supposedly it went something like this..........

"Hi Mrs Fred, how is Fred doing?"

"Not sure what you mean, isn't he here? Is he working at another station?"

"No, he retired a while ago."

"He did?"

Long pause as it sunk in on both sides..............

"That mutha fu#^er."

and she drove away........

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31 minutes ago, Point Break said:

We had a guy who quietly retired and then every day he would have been at work, he packed up and left the house as if going to work and stayed away for the whole shift. He got away with it for @6 months. Right up until his wife dropped by the station to pick up a something or other. Supposedly it went something like this..........

"Hi Mrs Fred, how is Fred doing?"

"Not sure what you mean, isn't he here? Is he working at another station?"

"No, he retired a while ago."

"He did?"

Long pause as it sunk in on both sides..............

"That mutha fu#^er."

and she drove away........

That scam works much better when you work at a secure facility that neither confirms employment nor allows visitors.

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1 hour ago, Point Break said:

We had a guy who quietly retired and then every day he would have been at work, he packed up and left the house as if going to work and stayed away for the whole shift. He got away with it for @6 months. Right up until his wife dropped by the station to pick up a something or other. Supposedly it went something like this..........

"Hi Mrs Fred, how is Fred doing?"

"Not sure what you mean, isn't he here? Is he working at another station?"

"No, he retired a while ago."

"He did?"

Long pause as it sunk in on both sides..............

"That mutha fu#^er."

and she drove away........

My father-in-law had the opposite deal when he retired - basically locked out of the house during business hours.

I don't care where you go or what you do, but I don't want you hanging around the house.  I have my schedule for cleaning and chores and don't want you interfering.  Here is $20 to buy coffee with your friends for the week, don't spend it all the first day.

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I remember when my folks downsized to their little abode,  finding my dad sitting on the front step smoking a cigar and looking pissed off.  He would sit there and smoke about half a cigar, then leave the butt sitting on the bush beside the walkway, to pick up later.  The yard guys were finding petrified cigar butts when they trimmed that hedge for ten years after he passed.  The old man wasn't much for robbing banks but he could smoke the hell out of a cigar.  

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26 minutes ago, Tax Man said:

My father-in-law had the opposite deal when he retired - basically locked out of the house during business hours.

I don't care where you go or what you do, but I don't want you hanging around the house.  I have my schedule for cleaning and chores and don't want you interfering.  Here is $20 to buy coffee with your friends for the week, don't spend it all the first day.

 

I take my dogs out to a country vet and while they're there, I go hang out in the local mcdonalds, (for the wifi and the breakfast bisquits) , it seems a lot of the "older" locals have been told to get out of the house, because they all hang out for hours..

 

my dad would drive my mom crazy by "helping" out in the kitchen when she cooked.. drove her crazy, he'd be picking up utensils and cleaning them, she'd turn around and find something she was using was gone..

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and this is why my old man still works (ocasionally) and travels a bit at 82 - my mom surely couldn't stand him home full time.

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when i have guys injured on the job the wife comes to the first 2 or so vists very concerned as one could imagine. By the third vists when healed or close to it the question 9 out of ten times is "when can he go back to work he is driving me crazy" 

 

My wife has been running my practice for four years and it is the best move i made

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1 hour ago, Chum said:

Sentimental alert! Harden the fuck up, mean spirited, bad assed cold mutherfuckers don't read further!

My Dad dotes on my Mom. He drives her around like Driving Miss Daisy to her different activities every day. Don't get me wrong, he still gets in time to marshall at the local golf course to offset his golf habit, but they spend most of their time together. My wife has made me promise to do the same.

I can understand that completely. There isn't anybody on the planet I'd rather spend time with than my wife. We really are buddies. 

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28 minutes ago, Point Break said:

I can understand that completely. There isn't anybody on the planet I'd rather spend time with than my wife. We really are buddies. 

 

i got some flowers for my wife,  do you think that was a good deal?

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Have you all forgotten that this is a sailing site?

WTF do you think project boats are for?

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20 minutes ago, dreaded said:

 

i got some flowers for my wife,  do you think that was a good deal?

That's your call my friend.....I got no dog in that fight.....:lol:

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My mom looked under the tree one Christmas morning to find a 10-man life raft under the tree for her. Jamaica race was the following February. We had to move fast to keep her from pulling the cord. 

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A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?” she asked.

“Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.

“Yes, I do,” she replied.

“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?'”

“Yes, I do,” she said.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have gotten out today.”

 

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On 6/14/2017 at 11:11 AM, Tax Man said:

My father-in-law had the opposite deal when he retired - basically locked out of the house during business hours.

I don't care where you go or what you do, but I don't want you hanging around the house.  I have my schedule for cleaning and chores and don't want you interfering.  Here is $20 to buy coffee with your friends for the week, don't spend it all the first day.

I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch

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On 6/16/2017 at 2:25 AM, Point Break said:
On 6/16/2017 at 1:20 AM, Chum said:

Sentimental alert! Harden the fuck up, mean spirited, bad assed cold mutherfuckers don't read further!

My Dad dotes on my Mom. He drives her around like Driving Miss Daisy to her different activities every day. Don't get me wrong, he still gets in time to marshall at the local golf course to offset his golf habit, but they spend most of their time together. My wife has made me promise to do the same.

I can understand that completely. There isn't anybody on the planet I'd rather spend time with than my wife. We really are buddies. 

Yeah, my parents can't stand being apart from each other too long.

Of course I'm the same way. My wife took my daughter for a month to visit colleges and see family last march, leaving me in Oz to tend the boat by myself. I could have been less useless, but not by much.

 

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Holy crap, I can't edit my post. Is it that way for you guys all the time? WTF.

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Yes it is - the edit function doesn't last long - should be longer.

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gawd, my pop worked until he was 80.. after two years I'm almost sure he'd had enough of my mom and just decided to die LOL

 

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Guy in my town, Named Mike, was married to pamella..... Both navy discharges. After a year he can't stand her. Robs the local savings bank of $50k. No mask, no disguise, no nothin'..... They don't know who he is. So next month he goes one town over, robs the same bank for 50k. No disguise, no nothing.

 They cant find him.

 one month later he robs the first bank again, and this time he sits down on the front steps and eats lunch.

Asked why, he said navy chow was better than what he got at home, and it couldn't be much worse in prison, and he wouldn't have to listen to his wife screech on the freakin' phone all night and day talking to her sisters.

 

(True story)

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