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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  
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Dorado

2952 Inches

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A platoon of Lawn Terrorists have infiltrated my sector. They are attempting to construct a network of tunnels and caverns and they must be stopped.

These were whacked at 2952 inches in a slight crosswind, using a 93 R 17 GV with a 17 HMR cartridge.

Fuckapples will note that I am white and these are brown.

End of transmission.

 

20170715_133747.png

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Extra points if you were in a rocking chair. 

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I hardly know what to say except to admonish you.......not for the excellent effort at eliminating those little terrorists.......but at invoking the name......even indirectly of that inhabitant of PA. You must clear your mind before the choice is made and the traveler comes ............watch and remember the consequences...............don't be Ray.......

 

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2 hours ago, bmiller said:

Were you sitting in a lawn chair? If so you're reaching badass status.

Twitching between power lines? 

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"We lost him. Dorado was gone. Nothing but rumors and random intelligence, mostly from captured rabbits The rabbits knew his name by now, and they were scared of him. He and his men were playing hit-and-run all the way into the neighbors ranch."

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1 hour ago, Dorado said:

As a matter of fact, I enlisted the help of Paddy  O'furniture 

Former IRA soldier now a  mercenary for hire. 

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55 minutes ago, Dorado said:

Shhhhh PB, Waiting for it to pop its head out of its hole.

Oh................carry on............kill the rabbit.............

 

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Our cat (Who's name is Turtle) is a great gopher/ground squirrel hunter..... She's tagged tree squirrels, but as yet has no kills in that cat egory..... But she's only a little over a year old.

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43 minutes ago, Gissie said:

I hope the lawn you are trying to protect isn't visible in the body count shot. If it is you are to late.

Well it's more of a cow pasture really. But that's what my California looks like in the summer. I have to mow it all winter long.

20170705_174759-1.jpg

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I got some cute slimy ones too, in the Frog sanctuary. Every evening at sundown we have the March of the Frogs and they're all back in bed before the sun comes up.

20170715_205218-1.jpg

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15 hours ago, Dorado said:

A platoon of Lawn Terrorists have infiltrated my sector. They are attempting to construct a network of tunnels and caverns and they must be stopped.

These were whacked at 2952 inches in a slight crosswind, using a 93 R 17 GV with a 17 HMR cartridge.

Fuckapples will note that I am white and these are brown.

End of transmission.

 

20170715_133747.png

Oh very well played mate.  But you could have just captured one so we can find out what the little fucker knew about 911.

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My coonhound would murder 10% of those critters with a shit-eating grin on her snout and then dare the rest of them to come anywhere close.

If your dog isn't killing them then you need to borrow or adopt a hound of some kind.

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7 hours ago, LB 15 said:

Oh very well played mate.  But you could have just captured one so we can find out what the little fucker knew about 911.

Random wouldn't believe him anyway. Better to kill him. 

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22 hours ago, nacradriver said:

"We lost him. Dorado was gone. Nothing but rumors and random intelligence, mostly from captured rabbits The rabbits knew his name by now, and they were scared of him. He and his men were playing hit-and-run all the way into the neighbors ranch."

Everyone wanted him to do it. Maybe the gophers most of all. 

 

 

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The architects and engineers for moon landing truth have just released this picture from NASA's files. Note no fake shadows...

image.jpg

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21 hours ago, Mark K said:

Everyone wanted him to do it. Maybe the gophers most of all.

"Never get out of the boat." Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin' all the way... Dorado got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin' program.

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I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. :mellow:

You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

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We've been looking for the squirrels for some time now. We've finally found them. We're surrounded. That simplifies things.

..................with apologies to Chesty Puller

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22 minutes ago, Point Break said:

We've been looking for the squirrels for some time now. We've finally found them. We're surrounded. That simplifies things.

..................with apologies to Chesty Puller

We're gophers, Lieutenant. We're supposed to be surrounded.  

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43 minutes ago, Dorado said:

I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. :mellow:

You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

Every man gets everything he wants. I wanted a backyard. And for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

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29 minutes ago, nacradriver said:

Every man gets everything he wants. I wanted a backyard. And for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

It was a real choice backyard, and when it was over, I'd never want another. 

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3 hours ago, nacradriver said:

Every man gets everything he wants. I wanted a backyard. And for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service.

nice use of a great movie line. 

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On 7/16/2017 at 3:17 PM, Innocent Bystander said:

Random wouldn't believe him anyway. Better to kill him. 

Kill who?  Randumb, or the squirrel?

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Dorado: Did they say why, Randumb, why they want to terminate my command?

Randumb: I was sent on a classified mission, sir.

Dorado: It's no longer classified, is it? Did they tell you?

Randumb: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.

Dorado: Are my methods unsound?

Radumb: I don't see any method at all, sir.

Dorado: I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you a douchebag?

Randumb: I'm a hipster

Dorado: You're neither. You're an SJW, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.

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Squirrly didn't get much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold nuts and a little Birdseed.  He had only two ways home: death, or victory.

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Fucking gophers are my current enemy. Never show there faces. Chemical warfare is the only option, kill em in their trenches. 

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Son, we live in a world that has companion ways, and those companion ways have to be guarded by gophers with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You,Gopher SV Airlie? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Goldy Gopher, and you curse the University of Minnesota. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that Goldy Gopher's death, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque  and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

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used to work in a pub in Nth Sydney, one day 2 fella's assist a 3rd guy into the pub - 3rd guy white as a sheet - his bulldozer had just been consumed by a cockroach nest. poor guy was itching and swiping at 'perceived' bugs the whole time.

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3 hours ago, chinabald said:

Get back to me when you guys have muskrats. Those fucker's tunnels will sink a tractor. 

No shit. My last muskrat made the mistake of trying to get the bait out of a crab pot. Turns out the nasty fucker couldn't hold his breath as long as he thought he could. Made good crab bait 

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9 hours ago, Innocent Bystander said:

No shit. My last muskrat made the mistake of trying to get the bait out of a crab pot. Turns out the nasty fucker couldn't hold his breath as long as he thought he could. Made good crab bait 

My last one died of lead poisoning. 12 gauge #4 shot from about 40 yards. Took me 2 weeks of walking to the pond to get him to let his guard down to take the shot. 

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13 hours ago, Merrill Levi said:

used to work in a pub in Nth Sydney, one day 2 fella's assist a 3rd guy into the pub - 3rd guy white as a sheet - his bulldozer had just been consumed by a cockroach nest. poor guy was itching and swiping at 'perceived' bugs the whole time.

You call that a pest? Here's a pest, mate...

 

Figured I'd just jump to the nth on this biggest pest BS session. 

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1 hour ago, Mark K said:

You call that a pest? Here's a pest, mate...

 

Figured I'd just jump to the nth on this biggest pest BS session. 

Pfffft.   Apparently you don't have a little brother.  :mellow:

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On 7/17/2017 at 7:35 PM, Sportboat Jeff said:

Squirrly didn't get much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold nuts and a little Birdseed.  He had only two ways home: death, or victory.

General Anarchy... shit; I'm still at work reading General Anarchy. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up in the back in the backyard…..    When I was there, all I could think of was getting back to the back yard. I'm here a  7 hours now... waiting ... Every minute I stay in this office, I get weaker, and every minute Squirlly squats in the backyard, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter.

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On 7/20/2017 at 4:32 AM, Chum said:

The squirrels received a demand for surrender from Dorado. They sent back a one word answer he found puzzling. All it said was "nuts".

HA!

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