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Donald Trump Uses Twitter’s New 280 Character Limit To Write Down All The Words He Knows

Twitter’s increased character limit has been met with a mixed response so far. But its most famous user is said to be ecstatic, telling aides he can now use all of the words – including the big ones – in one tweet.

Mr Trump sent out his first tweet in the new format this morning, listing all the words he knows. Although as one user pointed out, he included the words ‘great’ and ‘golf’ twice. Mr Trump knows 37 words, including half of his wife’s name.

trump-tweet-280-620x313.jpg

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Sign Language Interpreter For Trump’s UN Speech Just Using Middle Fingers

Experienced United Nations sign language interpreter Julia Marizo said her translation of Donald Trump’s speech involved nothing but waiving her middle fingers in the air for twenty minutes.

“I think it perfectly captured the President’s speech,” she said. At one point she considered getting a big fake penis and swinging it around in front of her, but said she preferred to reserve that for Mr Trump’s more measured speeches.

Deaf members of the audience nodded along as Ms Marizo cycled through the various techniques for giving the finger – from the up-in-your-face aggressive finger, through to the more subtle wind-up approach.

Mr Trump’s aides later said the translation had captured the speech ‘word for word’.

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War on Drugs: Trump Agrees To Put His Name On Ecstasy Tablets To Ensure Its Business Model Fails

As part of the US Government’s ongoing War on Drugs, US President Donald Trump has generously agreed to lend his name and image to ecstasy tablets to make absolutely certain the associated businesses fail.

It follows similar strategies in the steak, water and university industries.

Analysts say businesses are seven times more likely to go bankrupt once Trump puts his name to them, and have applauded the President’s gesture of lending his name to help stamp out the illicit trade.

“He has a habit of taking flourishing businesses, putting his name on the packaging, and then watching them fail. That’s exactly what we’d like to see with drugs,” a DEA spokesperson said.

Mr Trump has also been asked to launch a pharmaceutical brand, to help end the country’s battle with prescription opioids.

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3 minutes ago, cmilliken said:

Makes you wonder if Trump isn't some sort of Machiavellian 'bad leader' meant to pave the way for the 'Noble Despot'? 

 

that seems to be the threat ,

 

which in itself is very sad .

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Trump Quietly Hides Tax Returns In Western Wall

trump western wall

In a poignant moment on his Middle East visit, US President Donald Trump took time out to hide his tax returns from the last twenty years in Jerusalem’s holy Western Wall.

While some believed he was filing a building application to have the site demolished and replaced with a Trump Hotel, insiders believe it was actually documents from Inland Revenue proving he had paid no tax.

Mr Trump placed the folded up pieces of paper into a crack in the wall, before saying a short prayer to himself.

Asked about the moment later, Trump said it was a private moment between him and his wall.

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This is apparently the Australian "Humourous intermission waiting for act two" thread.. The "you lie! " thread is 2  acts back on the right.

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nah , it's all good , we've just unearthed our 2nd tRump supporter :D

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12 minutes ago, learningJ24 said:
Claim: Donald Trump said in 1998 that he would one day run as a Republican because they are the "dumbest group of voters."
Claimed by: Internet

Was going to share that. The guy gives enough evidence of being unethical, unfit, unhinged, etc., we don’t need to used widely debunked claims to illustrate it  

It is important to not use fake stories about President Trump, as they just reinforce the false perception of his defenders (who deny supporting him) that all negative news is fake. 

 

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chill , up under we call it takin the piss

ezgif-1-b53caaf119.gif.49a3fd4de2e4669c9a7fdee75fe44ea2.gif

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1 minute ago, Mid said:

chill , up under we call it takin the piss

No worries. Up here we call it bovine scat. 

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Trump one ups North Korean by nuking Japan first

 

Donald Trump has today responded to North Korean ballistic missile tests that narrowly missed Japan, with a show of strategic force that saw the United States launch it’s own rival nuclear attack against Japan, completely obliterating the island nation from the map. Stating that the United States would not be intimidated North Korean posturing, representatives for the White House say the latest show of force demonstrate just how far the Trump administration is willing to go to prove the US’s superiority over their communist foe.

 

Taking to the White House podium shortly after the attack, President Trump explained his actions green-lighting the escalation in rhetoric was necessary, stating it was the only real choice he could have made such a situation. “This decisive military act was our best way to show the North Koreans that we mean business, and unlike them, we’re not here to play games. Today’s demonstration has once again reinforced that the US is miles ahead of the DPRK in weaponry and marksmanship. They couldn’t even hit Japan when they’re right next door, but we did it easily, and what’s more we’ve got a proven track record of accuracy in that region.”

 

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Trump Deploys Emergency Airdrop Of Republican Thoughts And Prayers To Las Vegas

Not even a week after Donald Trump dedicated his President’s Cup golfing trophy to the victims of Hurricanes in Puerto Rico, the most powerful political figure in the free world has joined his Republican colleagues in sending condolences to the victims of the largest mass-shooting in the history of the United States of America.

It is believed the airdrop of emergency thoughts and prayers landed on the Las Vegas strip at 20:35 pm GMT-7 – and was deployed from a military aircraft sent almost immediately after the President received the news that another bunch of innocent people had been senselessly murdered by a previously law-abiding gun owner.

Not one elected or appointed official in the entire Trump administration has mentioned the possibility of altering gun laws to prevent mentally unstable white men from raining a barrage of bullets on an outdoor country music festival from 32 stories in the air.

However, their thoughts and prayers have been greatly appreciated by the friends and families of the 59 people murdered and further 500 that were injured.

Political analysts say the fact that Trump has dedicated less commentary to the Las Vegas massacre in the last 24 hours than he did to a football match last week is purely due to how much time he has dedicated to sending thoughts and prayers to the citizens killed by domestic terrorism.

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1 hour ago, cmilliken said:

Makes you wonder if Trump isn't some sort of Machiavellian 'bad leader' meant to pave the way for the 'Noble Despot'? 

 

That would be Putin, of course.....

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Starts with a P , yes ...............

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3 hours ago, learningJ24 said:

Sorry, it's the fact check reflex.  Too many years correcting BS presented as reality.

Carry on.

Clearly the rest of this thread is factual. Thank you for your service.

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1 hour ago, Hillary said:

More left fakery and lies.

 

image.png.aae441eb60cae128bc9c880e5de394af.png

You're only 12 hours behind Hapless.

Keep this up and one day you might catch up.

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41 minutes ago, Hillary said:

Canada is less shit-holie

Especially when compared to Floriduh.

Last I heard we have 2500 people a week from the USA claiming refugee status..

When are you sending the cheque for the wall?

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2 hours ago, Hillary said:

More left fakery and lies.

 

image.png.aae441eb60cae128bc9c880e5de394af.png

You go girl!

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3 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

You're only 12 hours behind Hapless.

Keep this up and one day you might catch up.

I read things in order and respond the same way. Don't read everything others post. They get about 5 words to capture my interest or I move on. Could absolutely care less that others corrected him first. You should stop being so petty it make you look small and weak.

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14 minutes ago, Hillary said:

                          500,000                                 vs                      50,000,000

Dream on, princess.

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5 hours ago, Righty_tighty_lefty_dumbas said:

2018-01-26.jpg?

How's that stock market looking, Coorsy?

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