socalrider

“Knot” a cool pun: worst boat names ever

Recommended Posts

What have you got?  Best is ok too. 

Worst: any play on “knot”, particularly if written in rope font, bonus demerits for using quote marks. 

Best: sportfishing boat called “Tuna Jihad” seen at SWYC. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anything at all cutesy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, DRIFTW00D said:

C608A531-54B4-4902-A0D1-779E9175AAD2.jpeg

OMFG that has to be the winner. I’m just not quite sure which category. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An elderly gent blasting past  in "gay dancer " had us in stitches 

recreational fishing boats I have seen ..."bin laden " , "twice a knight" , "moisty" , "overdraught" , "Tina tuna" 

biggest tongue twister ..." Philadelphia philharmonic symphony orchestra"  guy called it that cause it made weird noises when it got on the plane 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In Newport Harbor, California, there has to be 10,000 Duffy electric boats.

When we're on a bay booze cruise, our favorite drinking game is to take a tequila shot every time you see a Duffy with electricity somehow worked into the name. Examples: "Watt a Trip", "Voltswagon"... you get the idea.

One time we even made it out of the slip before everyone on board was plastered...

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aside from the typical nautical puns, my pet peeves are the multihull names that use the number of hulls as a pun, or the same thing with the designer’s name. 

Seriously, how many boats named “Farr Out” do we really need?!?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Attorneys Sportfish powerboat, "Knot Guilty".  He took a bunch of Realtors across Long Island Sound on a gusty, lumpy day, and several landlubbers were in fear for their lives.  I had to reassure them that it was totally safe, that the conditions were not really that bad.  Of course, we started out with him drifting aground, after shutting down one engine for no oil pressure.  Then he ran over a lobster pot buoy, in the middle of the sound, which thwapped against the hull, until it fell off.  Not a very confidence inspiring Captain!!  One passenger stayed on Long Island, rather than make the return trip, her brother lived nearby, at least that's what she claimed!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boat names with nautical wordplay is like that friend who tells the oldest joke in the world and then stares at you for your hysterical laughter. “Do you get it?”

 It Snot clever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My bosses boat is named "exit strategy"  seeing as we've fucked up everything, got delisted and all our options aren't worth the paper they're printed on I wanted to suggest renaming it "underwater" .    seems like a career limiting move however. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 "Knot wise"

 

I also enjoy seeing any fishing boat name with the word "Reel" in it:

"Reel Crazy"

"Reel Fun"

"Reel Magic"

 

What really gets me going is the boat name 50/50. I'm not sure why, in long island sound at least, about 25% of the boats in every marina are named 50/50

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, USA 5184 said:

 "Knot wise"

 

I also enjoy seeing any fishing boat name with the word "Reel" in it:

"Reel Crazy"

"Reel Fun"

"Reel Magic"

 

What really gets me going is the boat name 50/50. I'm not sure why, in long island sound at least, about 25% of the boats in every marina are named 50/50

 

 

I have sailed on Long Island Sound all my life, and never seen a boat named 50/50?  We used to call the Shelter Island 50 "Longevity", 50/50, because it was 50 feet on deck, went 50 knots, and burned 50/gal/hr X2! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So it’s a kind of A Pun except I think it’s actually pretty cool. Name a bit cheese but the execution was great.

Powerboat called “ The DockSide” obviously the name is on the stern in star wars font. Gave me a good laugh to see it backed into the slip.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Knot Fast, which turned into Knot PHRFect,

I shit you knot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorites:

Freudian Sloop-couple of shrinks were partners.

Wet and Sloppy- this one I think is still racing PHRF in SD 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, billy backstay said:

Attorneys Sportfish powerboat, "Knot Guilty".  He took a bunch of Realtors across Long Island Sound on a gusty, lumpy day, and several landlubbers were in fear for their lives.  I had to reassure them that it was totally safe, that the conditions were not really that bad.  Of course, we started out with him drifting aground, after shutting down one engine for no oil pressure.  Then he ran over a lobster pot buoy, in the middle of the sound, which thwapped against the hull, until it fell off.  Not a very confidence inspiring Captain!!  One passenger stayed on Long Island, rather than make the return trip, her brother lived nearby, at least that's what she claimed!

A few years ago in Boston, there is/was a powerboat called "Naut Guilty."  Owner by a Boston OUI lawyer who garnered some infamy when the boat's prop took a girls arm off.  https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2015/06/01/lawyer-boat-naut-guilty/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wind -anything:

Wind Dancer, Wind Dreamer, Breakin' Wind, Peaceful Wind, Summer Wind, Second Wind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Ajax said:

Wind -anything:

Wind Dancer, Wind Dreamer, Breakin' Wind, Peaceful Wind, Summer Wind, Second Wind.

 

"Windquest" was a series of race boats successfully campaigned around here in the 60's and 70's.  Has a nice ring to it, IMHO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Blew Bayou (by a boat that never blew by anybody it was very blue though)

Knot on Call (doctor) so I give that one the ok. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Nice! said:

Never Again II

And its sister "At Last III"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many bad boat name rules were broken by a Stiletto 27 called Cat-Alist ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just bought an old 5ksb beater and named her 'Girthy'. The dinghy is 'Moist'. Runner up for the boat was 'I Sheet you Knot'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

And its sister "At Last III"

 

Before my time, but Grandfather had a Steelcraft that he called "Atlasta"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/4/2018 at 7:20 AM, Monkey said:

Aside from the typical nautical puns, my pet peeves are the multihull names that use the number of hulls as a pun, or the same thing with the designer’s name. 

Seriously, how many boats named “Farr Out” do we really need?!?

Well, I kinda like "unleaded"

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’ve seen a :-

Smug  Druggler. (A very fast sports boat)

Banclay’s Barque. (Probably financed by Barclay’s Bank)

Gay Abandon. (all male crew, strangely enough)

Goodytwoshoes. (a catamaran)

And cleverest of all,     d∩ sɯoʇʇoq

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't done a proper survey of the Gin Palaces but the ones I see regularly are:

Fast as Fcuk

Stella - as in the nasty lager affectionately known as "wife beater" complete with logo

Fearless Courage (an oxymoron; if you are one, you aren't the other)

That's Kwik (she isn't...)

Rourke's Drift - a newcomer.  Sadly not parked next to Zulu but I can dream.

Last year, I did enjoy listening in to a po-faced Mayday kerfuffle on the VHF where the assisting boats were called "Rib Tickler" and "Gone Bananas"

 

 

 

 

 

fearless courage DSC_0115.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/4/2018 at 6:20 AM, Monkey said:

Aside from the typical nautical puns, my pet peeves are the multihull names that use the number of hulls as a pun, or the same thing with the designer’s name. 

Seriously, how many boats named “Farr Out” do we really need?!?

I always liked this one.

 

nicepair.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Any J boat with a boat name with a J worked into it. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Plumber said:

Any J boat with a boat name with a J worked into it. 

 

J-men Forever?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the "wind" and "sex" names that would amuse a 12 year old boy.

Breaking Wind

Blow Job

Wet Dream

etc.

All the cutesy "work" related names - usually on powerboats.

The Office

The Jobsite

Sales Call (Sails Call is even worse)

Conference

Business Trip

etc.

 

My personal most hated name is LadyHawke. Honest to God, there were two of them in my marina and a third in a club 1/4 mile away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Blow jibe.   for an rc boat

Tetua. A cal 40, rarely washed that we translated to mean dirtclod. 

Sailine solution.  Another model boat

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/3/2018 at 7:22 PM, socalrider said:

What have you got?  Best is ok too. 

Worst: any play on “knot”, particularly if written in rope font, bonus demerits for using quote marks. 

Best: sportfishing boat called “Tuna Jihad” seen at SWYC. 

we have a few knot boats (why would someone name their boat knot fast??)...why couldnt someone name their boat Balloonknot ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trial lawyers' boat names: Contingency, Judgment, Decision (complete with gavel in logo just so one knows).

Financier: Little Dividend.

Tuna Teaser, an offshore fishing boat I remember from my youth.  Not quite The Bearded Clam, but still. 

And for great boat names, there's always the immortal FUJIMO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a contractor's boat - the r.i.b. is called "original contract" and the yacht (~60') "change order".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Always wanted to name a boat "Mistress Quickly," then I saw one with the name in Annapolis. Still love it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, dacapo said:

we have a few knot boats (why would someone name their boat knot fast??)

So I guess you'd shun Knot Faster too, eh?  Uh well, good thing we named her for our own pleasure, not for others.  And if you must know, sometimes she is a knot faster, sometimes more, and sometimes not...

Cheers!

GetAttachmentThumbnail.htm

IMG_0680.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Had a GYN friend, his partner was going to name the boat after his wife. She did not appreciate the humor. It would have been the "Miss Carrie"

There is a motor boat named "Das Boot" on my dock, even has the cartoon fish on the transom like the one in the movie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, CriticalPath said:

So I guess you'd shun Knot Faster too, eh?  Uh well, good thing we named her for our own pleasure, not for others.  And if you must know, sometimes she is a knot faster, sometimes more, and sometimes not...

Cheers!

GetAttachmentThumbnail.htm

IMG_0680.jpg

I think “knot faster” is materially better than “knot fast”. For the record. In case anyone cares (which they should knot).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

local boat named "Off Constantly"- Who is going to say they beat that one?

Knot Bad Whiskey- owned by Mr.  and Mrs. Goodrum 

Windependent- a sailboat obviously

 

WL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Checking in from the Fresno-adjacent...  saw this at the harbor last week.

IMG_1724.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally like this one, despite it being a stinkpot - "4Play".  Yes, it has four 300HP outboards.  

IMG_1540.JPG

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some asshole in Annapolis had a J/22 named Rodeo Love

when you're doin your girl from behind either in the ass or pussy and you call outthe name of her sister or best friend, then attempt hold on for 8 seconds without getting bucked off you have survived the rodeo of love
dude there i was hittin my girl from the back, i called her sisters name, but my rodeo of love lasted all of two seconds before i broke my nose on the wall.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He should have named it "Walter".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a boat on the Swan Creek in Rock Hall.  The guy's wife is named Dawn.  His boat . . . . .  Crack of Dawn.

That dude has balls.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Deadhead said:

There is a boat on the Swan Creek in Rock Hall.  The guy's wife is named Dawn.  His boat . . . . .  Crack of Dawn.

That dude has balls.

 

 

He might not any longer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/4/2018 at 12:14 PM, Ajax said:

Wind -anything:

Wind Dancer, Wind Dreamer, Breakin' Wind, Peaceful Wind, Summer Wind, Second Wind.

This is no bullshit: in my marina, a boat named Passing Wind.

Probably should've been named Twice Divorced and Still Single.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, White Lightnin' said:

local boat named "Off Constantly"- Who is going to say they beat that one?

It's hard to beat Jeff...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Itchy "Pussy" - seen on a cat at the Mumbles in S. Wales. Anyone who's been there will have seen it! I'd attach the photo I took but it's too large in size :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pussy Galore on an all female race boat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites