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kent_island_sailor

Funniest Interaction with Non Racers Thread

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Because I need to laugh at something today

I will start with these contenders:

1. Cruisers from Canada run over our windward mark and hook the line with their rudder. It is trailing behind them and we decide this is a good challenge and they are freaking out because 10 boats are chasing them and trying to tack between their stern and the mark they are towing.

2. We set a line about 500 feet long in the middle of a wide deep river and *every single powerboat* that comes by somehow thinks they need to go through the start line and yells at all the sailboats clogging up the new "channel" :rolleyes:

 

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PCRC in the West River uses a permanently fixed starting line between a white buoy out in the river and a committee stand at the end of the Pirate's Cove Marina pier.

Now of course, we do not expect that anyone knows or even cares that this is our starting line/area so every Wednesday there are cruisers anchored right in the line or behind the line where we mill about waiting for our starting sequence plus powerboats steaming through.  We just treat them as rocks and sail around them.

The Canadians absconding with your race mark is pretty funny, though. :)

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STARBOARD

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am so not in your race man. Your rules don't apply.

STARBOARD IS COLREGS - MOVE!

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am cruising man, go around. You know you came over here to bother me, your race should go someplace else man.

171212-Cheech.jpg

 

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On the other hand, "We're Racing!" as a pissed off hail doesn't appear to have any standing in COLREGS.  On the other hand, the clueless, autopilot enabled cruiser on port tack towing a dinghy on a long painter through a starting sequence surrounded by navigable waters is pretty annoying.  

Love the towing the mark story.  

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24 minutes ago, kent_island_sailor said:

STARBOARD

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am so not in your race man. Your rules don't apply.

STARBOARD IS COLREGS - MOVE!

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am cruising man, go around. You know you came over here to bother me, your race should go someplace else man.

171212-Cheech.jpg

 

LOL...

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About 20 years ago there was an influx of J35's into town and it resurrected the one design fleet.

The sailmakers in town arranged for a training day - lectures on tuning and trim, and a couple of practice races with on-water coaching.

A couple in a cruiser sailed over to see what this floating thing was in the water and arrived at the same time as a dozen boats were setting up to round the windward mark.  You could hear the wife taking the piss out of him halfway down the run.

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As we sail in a fairly small river, Both 1 and 2 apply often, though 1 is normally a hired motorcruiser . This year I repaired a mark that we place before the downriver end of the  race course, it has a big sign on it saying KEEP RIGHT.... it had a hole in the sign..... from a propellor.

 At the other end of the course we have a big sign on the bank saying MAJOR REGATTA AHEAD PLEASE KEEP RIGHT  to which if you challenge anyone trying to weave their way through 150 boats in a mile and a half of river is,  What sign? or where's the pub?..

Note , local rules, Motor boats keep right,  if the motor boat keeps to the bank within 6 ft, we treat them as the bank and turnaway. if they wander down the middle of the river getting in everyones way, then they are not going anywhere fast till the fleet goes past...

I did point out to a hire boat that was trying to tie up to one of our marks, they only have a 5kg mud weight on, and 5 tons of motor cruiser won't stay where it is long...

We often get from the motor boats "why don't you go somewhere else to race", ... the club has the name of the village we are racing in... there is photographic evidence of racing here since 1895, the club has existed in some official form since 1913...

 

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3 minutes ago, kent_island_sailor said:

We get trotlines about 1/4-1/2 mile long across the course and then the crabbers bitch when we sail over them.

Those fuckers string them straight across the channel in the Rhode River. I motor/sail right over them.

P.S.- These are recreational crabbers not "people trying to make a living."

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In a regatta, we're on reach in 3rd, 250' in front of 1st is the rounding mark. Powerboat pulls up, lifts the mark in his boat, cuts the anchor line and takes off with it.

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4 minutes ago, Ajax said:

Those fuckers string them straight across the channel in the Rhode River. I motor/sail right over them.

P.S.- These are recreational crabbers not "people trying to make a living."

No.  Many times they are the professional watermen.  I'm OK with them crossing a channel (happens all the time off my house) as long as they put the pot buoys outside of any restricted channel far enough that the lines in on the bottom for the greater part of the channel.  

 

I did wake up one morning in Dunn Cove to the sound of a motor and a bump on the hull. Commercial trot line over my anchor rode and he ran it to inside of a boat length from me.  I did have a fair amount of scope out due to a squall line overnight.   

Went on deck and offered him a cup of coffee on his next run.  He allowed that he figured he would be gone before I woke up and we had a laugh.  They are understandably serious about putting their lines where they catch the best/most crabs.  It's how they pay their bills.  

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1 hour ago, Ajax said:

PCRC in the West River uses a permanently fixed starting line between a white buoy out in the river and a committee stand at the end of the Pirate's Cove Marina pier.

Now of course, we do not expect that anyone knows or even cares that this is our starting line/area so every Wednesday there are cruisers anchored right in the line or behind the line where we mill about waiting for our starting sequence plus powerboats steaming through.  We just treat them as rocks and sail around them.

The Canadians absconding with your race mark is pretty funny, though. :)

You forgot to mention the fixed starting line means many of the starts at PCRC are with the kite up. Makes for some epic maneuvering behind the line.

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15 minutes ago, Innocent Bystander said:

No.  Many times they are the professional watermen.  I'm OK with them crossing a channel (happens all the time off my house) as long as they put the pot buoys outside of any restricted channel far enough that the lines in on the bottom for the greater part of the channel.  

 

I did wake up one morning in Dunn Cove to the sound of a motor and a bump on the hull. Commercial trot line over my anchor rode and he ran it to inside of a boat length from me.  I did have a fair amount of scope out due to a squall line overnight.   

Went on deck and offered him a cup of coffee on his next run.  He allowed that he figured he would be gone before I woke up and we had a laugh.  They are understandably serious about putting their lines where they catch the best/most crabs.  It's how they pay their bills.  

Where I'm at, I'm pretty sure these are recreational folks. The pro's are running traps out in the West River.

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Me: I race sailboats offshore

Her:  where do you, like, pull over to park at night so you can sleep?

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4 hours ago, kent_island_sailor said:

Because I need to laugh at something today

 

1. Cruisers from Canada run over our windward mark and hook the line with their rudder. It is trailing behind them and we decide this is a good challenge and they are freaking out because 10 boats are chasing them and trying to tack between their stern and the mark they are towing.

 

 

and that my friends is a classic..    

and for laughing  try this..

 

my current fav was the pro who instead of a rolling start, fucked around long enough that the first fleet was  rounding the pin on port as the 2nd fleet was starting..

 

 

 

 

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Racing J 24s when they were cool, a ski boat wakes us pretty bad on a very light air spinnaker run, our foredeck flips em off and says something rude about slowing us down, he smiles and does laps around us at max wake speed.  I figured we deserved it, so pretty funny.  Foredeck fumed uncontrollably, which was an early indication of what an asshole he turned out to be, and still is.

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Hailed "starboard" on one of those stoners on port in a beat up old floating domicile. His response: "Oh come on Man, be reasonable!"

Whaddayagonnadoo?

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We have a fun, out-of-control summer race series up here in Seattle called Duck Dodge. Way too many clueless sailboats on way too small a lake. But it's a Seattle institution, so everyone wants to be a part of it, including the Bayliner and pontoon boat crowd who park themselves all over the course, crack open the beers, and crank the music as the bikini babes dance. Add into the mix dozens of kayaks and paddleboards, and even swimmers, who all want to be part of the action. In my opinion, all this makes for very challenging and fun racing, but I think most of my fellow skippers might disagree with me.

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I dated a girl in college that couldn't wrap her head around racing.

Her: So how do you race a sailboat?

Me: Well, it's a bit like Nascar. All the boats are generally the same, we go around a set course, its all about tactics, everyone drinks a lot, etc

Her: So how do you win?

Me: Its a lot like golf. Lowest score at the end of the regatta wins.

Her: So basically you combined the two most boring fucking sports into one.

 

 

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11 minutes ago, 'Bacco said:

Her: So basically you combined the two most boring fucking sports into one.

<laughing>  For mine, it was "so basically the goal of your sport is to spend less time doing it than the other guy..."

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Light air race in the bay.   Off in the distance we could hear a 2-stroke jetski motor at full throttle, but could not see it.   As it got louder, finally could see that it was a Kawasaki stand up model, with no one standing up on it!   Went right through the fleet, missed all the boats and onward across the bay.   2 minutes later, a jetski, with a rider was in a tail chase with the unguided water missile.    I do not know if he ever caught it, but it certainly was an eye opening experience, miles from anywhere.

- Stumbling

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5 hours ago, Ajax said:

 

These are recreational crabbers not "people trying to make a living."

And on the ‘Crabing Anarchy forum’ he is posting ‘These are recreational sailors not “people trying to feed their families’. 

 

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6 minutes ago, LB 15 said:

And on the ‘Crabing Anarchy forum’ he is posting ‘These are recreational sailors not “people trying to feed their families’. 

 

No matter what Anarchy forum one is in, we are all united by being Crabby.

- Stumbling

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55 minutes ago, 'Bacco said:

I dated a girl in college that couldn't wrap her head around racing.

Her: So how do you race a sailboat?

Me: Well, it's a bit like Nascar. All the boats are generally the same, we go around a set course, its all about tactics, everyone drinks a lot, etc

Her: So how do you win?

Me: Its a lot like golf. Lowest score at the end of the regatta wins.

Her: So basically you combined the two most boring fucking sports into one.

 

 

no, come out on the next race with me.

[blows < 5kts]

you might have a point...

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58 minutes ago, 'Bacco said:

I dated a girl in college that couldn't wrap her head around racing.

Her: So how do you race a sailboat?

Me: Well, it's a bit like Nascar. All the boats are generally the same, we go around a set course, its all about tactics, everyone drinks a lot, etc

Her: So how do you win?

Me: Its a lot like golf. Lowest score at the end of the regatta wins.

Her: So basically you combined the two most boring fucking sports into one.

 

 

She's not wrong.   My own experience,  dragging my younger, non-sailing brother out on various races over the years when he visits the islands:  " I like the races where we see stuff."    - as in,  the Molokai & Maui race,  as opposed to offshore buoy races 2 miles South of Diamond Head.   Sounds funny at first,  but it's not an unreasonable criteria for enjoyment.

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Number one question from non-sailors: "So,  do you get money if you win ? "  - as in,  fishing tournaments,  I guess.

Number two Fun Thing is when a fishing boat pulls up to one of our GREAT GODDAM BIG orange tetrahedron marks that we've set way the fuck off shore in 2000 feet of water and then acts all surprised when the fleet shows up.

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8 hours ago, sledracr said:

Me: I race sailboats offshore

Her:  where do you, like, pull over to park at night so you can sleep?

I love their look when I say with a completely straight face;  We look for a 7-11 and anchor in the parking lot. 

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It was mid summer and I was working at the local club when the commodore as me to take his granddaughters who had never been on a sailboat out for a race as she was here from the all girl college she attended. It turned out they were identical twin redheads. They were shorter than I expected but their nicely shaped 34DD really stood out in their tiny  matching bikinis. We decided to go out for the beer can race a few hours early so they could get use to the boat. We had a nice sail out while consuming a  bunch of cherry fizz coolers then all of a sudden the wind shut off. We floated around for a while drinking more of the fizzy wine coolers. One of the sisters decided to go for a quick dip. She dove in and when she surfaced her top had disappeared. She got back on board went below and yelled mast abeam.   I went below to see what was going on and all of a sudden when  I open the cabin door she ....Oh wait this is a family site

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16 hours ago, kent_island_sailor said:

STARBOARD

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am so not in your race man. Your rules don't apply.

STARBOARD IS COLREGS - MOVE!

Stoned hippy looking cruiser: I am cruising man, go around. You know you came over here to bother me, your race should go someplace else man.

171212-Cheech.jpg

 

 

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The local Arabs used to circle our dinghies on jet skis they seemed to think we like being bounced up and down ..

On of they guys threw his wayfarer mainsheet in the water while he sorted out a tangle...  When he pulled it back in it came complete  with a sea snake wrapped  round it..  

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