sail69

Stupid Crew Tricks...

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The Vodka and Ambien thread got me thinking as to why I now short/single hand.  

Too many years of Stupid Crew Tricks.

I'll start off...not my crew, but a rafted next to  a competitor in Hyannis Marine the Saturday morning before the Figawi.  I was up early and my neighbor/owner was up too.  He was standing in the cockpit looking a bit forlorn at a cabin cushion on deck while shaking his head.

I looked at him and asked what was up...Stupid Crew Trick? (its Figawi  weekend...what else could it be).

Yep...damned crew was so drunk last night he pissed the bunk.

WTF.

I have more to follow.

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#1 - We are running under chute and the 0-5 knots is past 15 and headed for 20+. The Kevlar "light sheets" that are hardly bigger than kite string have to be about to break. We are working on adding the heavy sheets when Mr. X stands OVER the turning block with this bar-tight line between his legs and goes to pull the shackle pin on the block. At best it would have cut his dick off and much more likely would have cut his leg mosty off and killed him :o I didn't have time to do anything but tackle him to get him away from the danger zone.

#2 was funny - Guy confused a porch light with a lighthouse and drove us right up on the beach behind a house around 0300 :rolleyes:

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Need to reef, which means needing to reeve the reef line at the end of the boom, which is difficult to reach. To save lowering the main at least part way (which I agree is a mess) the crew stands up on the lee side of the stern pulpit, which is dipping in the water every other wave (and boat is heeling, pitching, etc etc, about like you'd think for this to be happening).

First try, saves himself by swinging from the boom and getting dragged by the pants back on deck. Second try, falls inboard of the stern pulpit by luck but wrings his man-parts on the rail. Third try, gets the line partly rove so we haul it in and jury-rig something to keep tension while we reef the main.

"We'll fix that later" was that crew's unofficial motto. Big plus for bravery, big minus for being stupid

FB- Doug

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14 minutes ago, Steam Flyer said:

Need to reef, which means needing to reeve the reef line at the end of the boom, which is difficult to reach. To save lowering the main at least part way (which I agree is a mess) the crew stands up on the lee side of the stern pulpit, which is dipping in the water every other wave (and boat is heeling, p

Used to be standard practice - we never left the reef line in the sail, dead-ended it at the end of the boom. So at reef-time, main trimmer would climb up onto boom, standing near the end, and reeve the line through. Not so bad in flat water, but a trick in the lump. Oh, and you couldn't be luffing the main for this to work w/o ending up with a MOB incident. So usually main was oversheeted for the conditions, and boat on her ear.

Another time, it was o-dark-thirty, downwind, 20-25kts, waves building to 8 feet or so, time to change to the 1.5oz. Back in the day we didn't have those "goggles" so a sail tie was pressed into service. You tied the tack ring of the flying kite to the bail of the afterguy with he sail tie (slipknot), then opened the shackle, into which the new kite tack would be clipped in. Bow guy goes forward to tie in old kite, jumps onto pulpit in front of forestay (think of that scene in "Titanic" w/o someone behind to catch you), while holding tie in left hand, and reaches out to sp pole which is 3' off centerline with the other. Tiers in kite, then hops back down, pulls new kite into place, jumps back onto pulpit again, clips in new kite, new kite is hoisted, then "pulls the string" for the drop. All while comfortably perched on the top of the pulpit. No PFD. No harness, not even a whistle or light. One slip and he'd be gone and never found.

In both cases above, stupid crew was me. Shuddder!

 

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    Not so stupid crew trick was when a bowline on the genoa sheet wasn't properly worked down tight before taking a load. About 5 minutes after the start we went over to that tack and before the sail was even close to being sheeted in the knot let go. We promptly tacked back to the remaining sheet and one of the crew had grabbed the sheet that had come loose and headed for the jib clew which was too high to reach. The sail was more properly a Yankee with a high cut clew and I doubt you could have reached the clew even standing on the lifelines which was suggested by some. The guy who was going to make the attempt looked at those who were going to brace him to stand on the lifelines and just put the bitter end of the sheet in his teeth and grabbed the sheet under load and hand over hand pulled his way out to the jib tack and smooth as butter hung on with one hand and grabbed the lazy sheet with the other and poked it through the clewring. He then pulled enough sheet through to do the quickest one hand bowline I've ever seen and snubbed it down tight and then hand over handed his way back to the deck. He calmly looked at the skipper who hadn't witnessed his prowess in midair and told him he could tack back whenever he wanted. 

    Didn't hurt that the hero was a firefighter and went on to become the brakeman for the VI Olympic Team. Tough, smart and cool.

 

   When the beers came out after that race, the rest of the crew was practising that one handed bowline but I still doubt I could do one while hanging from my other hand.

    Just saw Ropetrick's message, it really applied in this case. It had to be one of the most impressive ropetricks I had ever seen.

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1 hour ago, sail69 said:

Yep...damned crew was so drunk last night he pissed the bunk.

WTF.

I have more to follow.

Piss?  Hah.  After day 1 of a two day regatta, crew wakes up everybody else sleeping on the boat with the choking/strangling noises.  Crew was choking on his own vomit, which is unbelievable given how much of the inside of the quarterberth he painted with his own chunky yak, not to mention the galley.  How did he have enough left in him to choke on? 

It's not clear what hurt worse - the crew's head the next day, the guy who had to take him by the arm to drag him ashore to hose him off, the guy who had to crawl up the quarterberth to clean up that unbelievable mess ("On the ceiling skip?  Jeeeezus, how'd he even do that?"), or the skipper, who had to clean the rest of the cabin and wonder about how to get the vomit smell out of the boat. 

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Unfortunately, most of the stupid crew tricks that I have witnessed have been when I am sailing singlehanded. :ph34r:

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14 minutes ago, Lex Teredo said:

Piss?  Hah.  After day 1 of a two day regatta, crew wakes up everybody else sleeping on the boat with the choking/strangling noises.  Crew was choking on his own vomit, which is unbelievable given how much of the inside of the quarterberth he painted with his own chunky yak, not to mention the galley.  How did he have enough left in him to choke on? 

It's not clear what hurt worse - the crew's head the next day, the guy who had to take him by the arm to drag him ashore to hose him off, the guy who had to crawl up the quarterberth to clean up that unbelievable mess ("On the ceiling skip?  Jeeeezus, how'd he even do that?"), or the skipper, who had to clean the rest of the cabin and wonder about how to get the vomit smell out of the boat. 

In my Navy days, we always made sure the drunk crew was put in his bunk on his side, so he wouldn't choke. We usually posted a bucket nearby for him.

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Long ago in a galaxy far away, Running down straights of Juan de fuca , end of an Oregon offshore, prob 1-2 am. 25+k of breeze,  pressed with the kite, the old Swan 47 digging a big hole. Everybody focused, keep the boat under the rig.  Idiot amateur photographer decides now is a good time to head to the mast and take some pics of the crew and driver with his bitchin new flash.  He got off about five or six shots before the midbow guy tackled him. 

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I am below and the boat runs HARD aground. I go up and find the bow literally 10 feet from dry land and my buddy on the helm going "but but it was 10 feet deep just a second ago". I enquired as to if he would be across the yard and in the road before he tacked :rolleyes:

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2 minutes ago, Mr Moab said:

Long ago in a galaxy far away, Running down straights of Juan de fuca , end of an Oregon offshore, prob 1-2 am. 25+k of breeze,  pressed with the kite, the old Swan 47 digging a big hole. Everybody focused, keep the boat under the rig.  Idiot amateur photographer decides now is a good time to head to the mast and take some pics of the crew and driver with his bitchin new flash.  He got off about five or six shots before the midbow guy tackled him. 

This wasn't a boat crew trick, but similar. Night takeoff from Cape May on a moonless overcast night. I am mainly looking at the dim red lit panel because outside is nothing but pitch black and minding the heading and airspeed when suddenly the world disappears into blinding white light. My buddy behind me decided we looked so cool up front he needed a flash photo :o:angry:

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It's like that time hoisting the spinnaker on the 3 day of a regatta and womens undergarments landed on the deck and a head popped out of the forward hatch we just launched the kite from.....

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Inter-coastal waterway.  I run below to take a leak.   I look out the port upon hearing some strange noises and notice tree branches brushing the cabin...

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3 hours ago, Lex Teredo said:

Piss?  Hah.  After day 1 of a two day regatta, crew wakes up everybody else sleeping on the boat with the choking/strangling noises.  Crew was choking on his own vomit, which is unbelievable given how much of the inside of the quarterberth he painted with his own chunky yak, not to mention the galley.  How did he have enough left in him to choke on? 

It's not clear what hurt worse - the crew's head the next day, the guy who had to take him by the arm to drag him ashore to hose him off, the guy who had to crawl up the quarterberth to clean up that unbelievable mess ("On the ceiling skip?  Jeeeezus, how'd he even do that?"), or the skipper, who had to clean the rest of the cabin and wonder about how to get the vomit smell out of the boat. 

Yup...ya got me.  

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11 minutes ago, kent_island_sailor said:

I had a crew member that weighed over 100 pounds and could not climb a ladder that jumped overboard frequently.

He was a dog.

Shouldn't that be in the Stupid Pet Tricks thread?

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It was two years ago down at the club and the commodore asked me to take his twin granddaughters out for a sail while they were in town from the all girl college they attended. It turned out they brought six friends, oddly enough 3 sets of twins and they all had long flowing red hair. It was a hot day so they all dressed appropriately in their smallest bikinis. They were all very fit as they were all on the volleyball team. I told them to bring something to drink so the brought a surprisingly large amount of cherry fizz coolers. Once we got underway I was surprised at how fast they were consuming the wine coolers, three of them in particular. I was concerned when those three went skinny dipping in the crystal clear waters but they got back on board ok. They sure were friendly with each other. They went below to dry off and all of a sudden one of them called out to me to come below. They wanted to show me some sort of trick. I gave the helm to the tallest one who somehow  also misplace her bikini top and headed below. All the others were  too busy  to take the helm as they had been rubbing suntan oil on each others mostly naked bodies for the previous half hour or so. They were very diligent and got oil in every nook and cranny. Wow, was I surprised as all three of them still naked were fighting over my very cool  red Mount Gay Rum  hat when all of a sudden two of them started to....... oh wait this is a family site 

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55 minutes ago, VWAP said:

It was two years ago down at the club and the commodore asked me to take his twin granddaughters out for a sail while they were in town from the all girl college they attended. It turned out they brought six friends, oddly enough 3 sets of twins and they all had long flowing red hair. It was a hot day so they all dressed appropriately in their smallest bikinis. They were all very fit as they were all on the volleyball team. I told them to bring something to drink so the brought a surprisingly large amount of cherry fizz coolers. Once we got underway I was surprised at how fast they were consuming the wine coolers, three of them in particular. I was concerned when those three went skinny dipping in the crystal clear waters but they got back on board ok. They sure were friendly with each other. They went below to dry off and all of a sudden one of them called out to me to come below. They wanted to show me some sort of trick. I gave the helm to the tallest one who somehow  also misplace her bikini top and headed below. All the others were  too busy  to take the helm as they had been rubbing suntan oil on each others mostly naked bodies for the previous half hour or so. They were very diligent and got oil in every nook and cranny. Wow, was I surprised as all three of them still naked were fighting over my very cool  red Mount Gay Rum  hat when all of a sudden two of them started to....... oh wait this is a family site 

I love you so much

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5 hours ago, kent_island_sailor said:

#2 was funny - Guy confused a porch light with a lighthouse and drove us right up on the beach behind a house around 0300 :rolleyes:

When I was a kid, our Swedish friends took me and my parents on a motorboat cruise in he skerries. One house on a skerry had its lights on and changed the red curtains on ad off in a way that it resembled the sector lighthouse not far away. We almost crashed onto a rock but then the inhabitants went to bed and put the lights out. After a few minutes of massive  confusion, the real lighouse popped out of nowhere and we were safe.  ...Motorboaters! 

 

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1 hour ago, VWAP said:

It was two years ago down at the club and the commodore asked me to take his twin granddaughters out for a sail while they were in town from the all girl college they attended. It turned out they brought six friends, oddly enough 3 sets of twins and they all had long flowing red hair. It was a hot day so they all dressed appropriately in their smallest bikinis. They were all very fit as they were all on the volleyball team. I told them to bring something to drink so the brought a surprisingly large amount of cherry fizz coolers. Once we got underway I was surprised at how fast they were consuming the wine coolers, three of them in particular. I was concerned when those three went skinny dipping in the crystal clear waters but they got back on board ok. They sure were friendly with each other. They went below to dry off and all of a sudden one of them called out to me to come below. They wanted to show me some sort of trick. I gave the helm to the tallest one who somehow  also misplace her bikini top and headed below. All the others were  too busy  to take the helm as they had been rubbing suntan oil on each others mostly naked bodies for the previous half hour or so. They were very diligent and got oil in every nook and cranny. Wow, was I surprised as all three of them still naked were fighting over my very cool  red Mount Gay Rum  hat when all of a sudden two of them started to....... oh wait this is a family site 

You, too, are in the wrong forum.  Take it to Penthouse forum.

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1 hour ago, VWAP said:

It was two years ago down at the club and the commodore asked me to take his twin granddaughters out for a sail while they were in town from the all girl college they attended. It turned out they brought six friends, oddly enough 3 sets of twins and they all had long flowing red hair. It was a hot day so they all dressed appropriately in their smallest bikinis. They were all very fit as they were all on the volleyball team. I told them to bring something to drink so the brought a surprisingly large amount of cherry fizz coolers. Once we got underway I was surprised at how fast they were consuming the wine coolers, three of them in particular. I was concerned when those three went skinny dipping in the crystal clear waters but they got back on board ok. They sure were friendly with each other. They went below to dry off and all of a sudden one of them called out to me to come below. They wanted to show me some sort of trick. I gave the helm to the tallest one who somehow  also misplace her bikini top and headed below. All the others were  too busy  to take the helm as they had been rubbing suntan oil on each others mostly naked bodies for the previous half hour or so. They were very diligent and got oil in every nook and cranny. Wow, was I surprised as all three of them still naked were fighting over my very cool  red Mount Gay Rum  hat when all of a sudden two of them started to....... oh wait this is a family site 

Stupid crew getting suntan oil over the cabin.  WTF!!

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Sailing from Tortola to Bermuda, my watch went below to sleep as it got dark and the other watch came on deck & took over.  They noticed the compass light getting too dim to see, so turned the battery switch to "both".  When the compass light went out, they woke the captain to ask what to do about steering the course.  We tried wiring all the flashlight & other batteries together and hand cranking, but the diesel wouldn't start. Thanks, guys. We had no engine, no lights, no instruments, no radio. Only the depth sounder ran on its own separate 6v lantern battery.  Three days later we were tacking up the channel to Hamilton, hoping not to meet any cruise ships heading in or out. 

    

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3 hours ago, 10thTonner said:

When I was a kid, our Swedish friends took me and my parents on a motorboat cruise in he skerries. One house on a skerry had its lights on and changed the red curtains on ad off in a way that it resembled the sector lighthouse not far away. We almost crashed onto a rock but then the inhabitants went to bed and put the lights out. After a few minutes of massive  confusion, the real lighouse popped out of nowhere and we were safe.  ...Motorboaters! 

 

 

Somehow, when I saw the words "Sweden" and "motorboating" this is not the story I was expecting to read.

Long ago, my cousin and I sailed his old keelboat in shore of a lighthouse because neither of us thought to look UP. "Where is g@##%^& light?" we kept asking each other. I noticed a beam of light sweeping around the shore (which was a lot closer than it looked,  night time and all) and wondered what that was all about. My cousin said something like "oh shit" and tacked the boat 180 right then. I think I remember sailing close enough to reach out and touch a big barnacle covered rock. I wasn't worried, it was a nice calm night and if we'd gone ashore we could have walked home.

This is more of a stupid navigator trick than a crew trick

FB- Doug

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10 hours ago, sail69 said:

The Vodka and Ambien thread got me thinking as to why I now short/single hand.  

Too many years of Stupid Crew Tricks.

I'll start off...not my crew, but a rafted next to  a competitor in Hyannis Marine the Saturday morning before the Figawi.  I was up early and my neighbor/owner was up too.  He was standing in the cockpit looking a bit forlorn at a cabin cushion on deck while shaking his head.

I looked at him and asked what was up...Stupid Crew Trick? (its Figawi  weekend...what else could it be).

Yep...damned crew was so drunk last night he pissed the bunk.

WTF.

I have more to follow.

Annapolis.  NOODs.  I awake to find my two roomates pissing in the potted plant in our room.  It was a fake plant in a wicker basket.

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Pissing, puking, hoisting (and dropping) knickers, feats of incredible skill, feats of incredible agility, feats of incredible bravery???

Just another day for your friendly neighbourhood Bowman! (Nav errors and groundings belong to the fuckwits aft.)

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      All you got 'nothin

 

Delivery, Baltic 51 US VI to Med. I'd been running the boat with a cook while sailing the owners about (who were seasoned racers turned cruisers). They left & I had a guy & another girl fly in for the delivery Eastward. Cook fell off the curbing & broke almost every bone in her ankle, so she gets flown home the next day. Three of us get the boat to Bermuda (with some other mishaps) where the guy talks me into bringing his girlfriend out to take over as cook. She shows up, we leave in a big low front - no main, wung out #4 only. 230 -240 miles a day! Only issue with sailing is the sun rising dead ahead every morning & the glare cooking your retina's for an hour or so. Down below, however, it turns out girlfriend had got preggers the last time the dude crawled in thru the window (living at home) and they thought this boat thing was the perfect place to decide what to do. And she couldn't really cook, either. Lots of loud arguments from the aft cabin at all times of the day. We make Horta & pull in for a few days. They announce they've decided on abortion & off they go to the hospital to figure this out. Now these two are average Americans & can't even draw a shakey map of the Atlantic & really have no picture of foreign countries. And we're in the Azores, the most conservative part of Portugal. So four hours later they get back to the boat with the new knowledge that abortion IS a SIN and is not available in any way shape or form here. More arguing until I announce that I've had enough & she would be flying out the next day on the once a week flight to LA, where anything could be had. So the next morning I get them both sent off to the airport & continue getting ready to put to sea as soon as the dude returns. Well, they BOTH return, she screaming at the dude calling him a murderer & worse, she'd decided to keep the kid in the airport waiting room. So off we go, one happy crew, to Palma where I get rid of both of them.

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Southern Straits in the mid '90s.  Heading up to Sisters on a 30'er after starting in 5ish knots.  Wind builds through the day and we spend a good two hours sitting on the second stern wake of a 40'er...only falling off the wake when a 3rd boat cuts between us.  Wind gets into the low 30s and we still have the chute up...the boat feels good and we are flying.  Foredeck suddenly thinks we are overpowered, gets up off the rail, goes forward and spikes the chute with no warning whatsoever.  No way it's going back up, so we're on white sails for the rest of the leeward leg.  sigh.

 

Another race, similar time.  Race committee volunteers fail to show up in the morning so the RC chair heads out with his dog to start a race.  Wind is in the low teens and current is always a factor in the strait.  After the fleet starts, the pin takes off up the strait at a good 2 knots....since the pin is also the 3rd mark of the course, RC goes off in hot pursuit to retrieve the mark.   When pulling it onboard, manages to wrap the rode around the prop shaft.  Barely manages to clear some of the the line and get back to sort-of the right area to drop the mark as the race leaders round.  Oh....wait....idiot RC might have been me....

 

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7 hours ago, longy said:

     ....     ...    ... Well, they BOTH return, she screaming at the dude calling him a murderer & worse, she'd decided to keep the kid in the airport waiting room. ...     ...     ...

 

Poor kid, do you think he's still in that airport waiting room?

FB- Doug

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Dumb RC trick - the new RC is not sure what all the colored letters are, but they must mean something, so they hang them ALL up. The course looked like a spaghetti explosion and had one leg about 100 feet long.

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I was around 16, Atlantic City Race Week 1983. Staying at Trump Marina on the C&C 36 for the night because I’m sick as a dog-fever, shakes and nauseous as hell while the rest of the crew is out partying.

At some point two of the crew-guy with a thing the size of a fat person’s arm (not VWAP) and the ugliest woman i’d seen up to that point on a boat-come back aboard and begin to rut in the quarter berth across from me. As much as I tried to stay quiet while they recreated the beast with 2 backs, I was overtaken by the smell of their “heat” and started heaving into the bucket I had on hand. They were so drunk that they forgot I was aboard and as soon as I chunked up I had to run for cover as the “lady” began blowing chunks all over her naked “hunk” and the starboard interior.

Luckily by the time the rest of the crew returned I had gotten a room at the hotel since my Mom was a frequent day tripper to the casino and had basically acquired free rooms for life. 

It was difficult Sailing the next day since I was the boat bitch and chute packer and they were well below their game. The smell remains in my sinuses to this day. 

I’m glad they were not invited to the Squan Trysail regatta a few weeks later.

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Doing a non-stop from St. Maarten to NY it was my turn to cook dinner, and had made a large amount of spaghetti and sauce. Fridge had gone kaput, so no way to keep leftovers. I handed the big frying pan with dregs of sauce up from the galley to a friend/crewman in the cockpit, just as the sun was going down. "Hey Jim, throw this overboard, willya?" Throw it over? "Yeah, please." So he proceeds to throw the frying pan in the water, turns back and sees me with eyes wide, mouth open but speechless, and says "What?" Guy on the wheel nearly fell down he was laughing so hard, I turned away, cursing, and Jim kept repeating, "But he told me to throw it over!" 

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1 hour ago, Sail4beer said:

I was around 16, Atlantic City Race Week 1983. Staying at Trump Marina on the C&C 36 for the night because I’m sick as a dog-fever, shakes and nauseous as hell while the rest of the crew is out partying.

At some point two of the crew-guy with a thing the size of a fat person’s arm (not VWAP) and the ugliest woman i’d seen up to that point on a boat-come back aboard and begin to rut in the quarter berth across from me. As much as I tried to stay quiet while they recreated the beast with 2 backs, I was overtaken by the smell of their “heat” and started heaving into the bucket I had on hand. They were so drunk that they forgot I was aboard and as soon as I chunked up I had to run for cover as the “lady” began blowing chunks all over her naked “hunk” and the starboard interior.

Luckily by the time the rest of the crew returned I had gotten a room at the hotel since my Mom was a frequent day tripper to the casino and had basically acquired free rooms for life. 

It was difficult Sailing the next day since I was the boat bitch and chute packer and they were well below their game. The smell remains in my sinuses to this day. 

I’m glad they were not invited to the Squan Trysail regatta a few weeks later.

You were scared for life. 

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had a crew asleep in the upper pipe berth, sit up suddenly, hit his head on the shelf above him and knocked himself out...  most people slept in the other direction if you have to ask..

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Captain on a big cat in the carib.  Went to sleep one night, woke up, saw the starboard hull out my escape hatch was pretty damn high, then stepped out of bunk into ankle deep water.  "Crew" (read...owner), had decided some boat washing was in order in the middle of the night and left the seawater pump running in the engine room all night.  Put 1000s of gallons into that hull, trashed port side generator, the boat stank like hell and i got a good sized 24V shock trying to pull the F'ing starter off the port main before the water got to it.  

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So are you saying that flooding one hull of a cat raises the other hull? Maybe on a trimaran but I'm not buying that on a catamaran. Maybe if you were sailing at the time but your story sounds more like you were at anchor from your description. 

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So I'm the old guy organizing crew in Newport for a 3 day regatta a few years back. After the first day of racing one of my old buddies decides he can keep up with the 20 somethings on a pub crawl. He could in the old days and what's a few years...

Boat call the next morning, a few hangovers, more stories and a missing old buddy. I ask the bowman, where'd you leave "Joe"? It seems that he passed out and they left him on the dinghy dock at Perrotti Park. Mad scramble ensues as I'm worried that he might have rolled over and fallen in. 
 
Motor by his C&C 40 on the way out to the course and old buddy is alive (barely) but won't be joining us for the day. 

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On 9/28/2018 at 9:27 AM, JoeO said:

Used to be standard practice - we never left the reef line in the sail, dead-ended it at the end of the boom. So at reef-time, main trimmer would climb up onto boom, standing near the end, and reeve the line through. Not so bad in flat water, but a trick in the lump. Oh, and you couldn't be luffing the main for this to work w/o ending up with a MOB incident. So usually main was oversheeted for the conditions, and boat on her ear.

Another time, it was o-dark-thirty, downwind, 20-25kts, waves building to 8 feet or so, time to change to the 1.5oz. Back in the day we didn't have those "goggles" so a sail tie was pressed into service. You tied the tack ring of the flying kite to the bail of the afterguy with he sail tie (slipknot), then opened the shackle, into which the new kite tack would be clipped in. Bow guy goes forward to tie in old kite, jumps onto pulpit in front of forestay (think of that scene in "Titanic" w/o someone behind to catch you), while holding tie in left hand, and reaches out to sp pole which is 3' off centerline with the other. Tiers in kite, then hops back down, pulls new kite into place, jumps back onto pulpit again, clips in new kite, new kite is hoisted, then "pulls the string" for the drop. All while comfortably perched on the top of the pulpit. No PFD. No harness, not even a whistle or light. One slip and he'd be gone and never found.

In both cases above, stupid crew was me. Shuddder!

 

Holy Shit... 

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On 9/28/2018 at 9:27 AM, JoeO said:

Used to be standard practice - we never left the reef line in the sail, dead-ended it at the end of the boom. So at reef-time, main trimmer would climb up onto boom, standing near the end, and reeve the line through. Not so bad in flat water, but a trick in the lump. Oh, and you couldn't be luffing the main for this to work w/o ending up with a MOB incident. So usually main was oversheeted for the conditions, and boat on her ear.

Played that game.

In conditions I was worried about falling over I used a spare halyard to clip into, but I have also done without.

Too old for that stuff now.

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On 9/29/2018 at 12:36 AM, Que said:

Southern Straits in the mid '90s.  Heading up to Sisters on a 30'er after starting in 5ish knots.  Wind builds through the day and we spend a good two hours sitting on the second stern wake of a 40'er...only falling off the wake when a 3rd boat cuts between us.  Wind gets into the low 30s and we still have the chute up...the boat feels good and we are flying.  Foredeck suddenly thinks we are overpowered, gets up off the rail, goes forward and spikes the chute with no warning whatsoever.  No way it's going back up, so we're on white sails for the rest of the leeward leg.  sigh.

 

Another race, similar time.  Race committee volunteers fail to show up in the morning so the RC chair heads out with his dog to start a race.  Wind is in the low teens and current is always a factor in the strait.  After the fleet starts, the pin takes off up the strait at a good 2 knots....since the pin is also the 3rd mark of the course, RC goes off in hot pursuit to retrieve the mark.   When pulling it onboard, manages to wrap the rode around the prop shaft.  Barely manages to clear some of the the line and get back to sort-of the right area to drop the mark as the race leaders round.  Oh....wait....idiot RC might have been me....

 

Bow guys don't make mistakes, you just didn't read his mind

 

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18 hours ago, Rasputin22 said:

So are you saying that flooding one hull of a cat raises the other hull? Maybe on a trimaran but I'm not buying that on a catamaran. Maybe if you were sailing at the time but your story sounds more like you were at anchor from your description. 

We were at anchor just outside of the marine sanctuary in st john cruz bay harbor USVI.  The port side was lower so at least the starboard hull looked a lot higher from laying down near the waterline.  no clue if it actually raised it up at all.  

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8 minutes ago, EquusAsinusDomesticus said:

We were at anchor just outside of the marine sanctuary in st john cruz bay harbor USVI.  The port side was lower so at least the starboard hull looked a lot higher from laying down near the waterline.  no clue if it actually raised it up at all.  

Honestly, it was one of those ones where you've been on the boat for months and you look out the window and just think "something aint right".  Was just trying to find a way to describe it.

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Yeah, if you are looking up at the other hull while at anchor, you better take off the beer goggles and see what is going on. 

    A friend of mine trying to sail a Chinese Junk from New Orleans took on a crew that had NO boating experience whatsoever. Sometimes that is not a bad thing, at least you can get them started off by doing things your way and not have to un-learn the bad habits they might have picked up before you took them on. But in this case the kid was on night watch and one of the prime directives on an old plank on frame wooden junk was to stick your head below and check the bilges every hour. Kid must have gotten mesmerized by the moonlight on the placid Gulf during his 4 hour graveyard watch and when the skipper heard water sloshing back and forth ON TOP of the floor boards charged up to the poop deck and found the newbie sound asleep! They managed to stem the inflow of water without further mishap but for the rest of that passage the kid lost his bunk privileges and was assigned a place on the cabin sole at the lowest point on which to sleep in his sleeping bag. That way he served as an infallible bilge alarm for the rest of the trip.

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I checked the height of the Annapolis Bay Bridge once with my gaff boom.

Thats probably the only reason I know for an emergency scandal. (Or is it scandalize?)

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Crew who has since been banned from the boat for leafy substances was standing in the open foredeck hatch, blocking view forward, possibly partaking of leafy substances.  He failed to inform the helm that the boat was bearing down on... the sheriff's boat, which was stopped in mid channel, writing up a ski boat for something.  Just standing there, looking at the pretty blue lights...  We got within hairy-eyeball distance before the helm was able to see it.  :huh:

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9 hours ago, Rasputin22 said:

 

That was right outside my hotel room.  I don't think they even knew they were sinking.  I had my vhf and called the Coast Guard from my balcony.

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1 hour ago, toddster said:

Crew who has since been banned from the boat for leafy substances was standing in the open foredeck hatch, blocking view forward, possibly partaking of leafy substances.  He failed to inform the helm that the boat was bearing down on... the sheriff's boat, which was stopped in mid channel, writing up a ski boat for something.  Just standing there, looking at the pretty blue lights...  We got within hairy-eyeball distance before the helm was able to see it.  :huh:

Then there was the crew who borrowed Dad's boat to do the Vic-Maui race, took their standard quantity of grass along for the ride, but, arriving in Hawaii, forgot that they were on the Vic-Maui International Yacht Race.   They were very unhappy when the customs and immigration folks hopped on board right when they docked and the crew was enjoying a celebratory beer and toke.  And had left the now-nearly-empty-but-not-quite baggie sitting on the chart table.  

That resulted in a rather painful call home to dear old dad, letting him know about the sudden involuntary transfer of ownership of his nice race boat.

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45 minutes ago, Left Shift said:

Then there was the crew who borrowed Dad's boat to do the Vic-Maui race, took their standard quantity of grass along for the ride, but, arriving in Hawaii, forgot that they were on the Vic-Maui International Yacht Race.   They were very unhappy when the customs and immigration folks hopped on board right when they docked and the crew was enjoying a celebratory beer and toke.  And had left the now-nearly-empty-but-not-quite baggie sitting on the chart table.  

That resulted in a rather painful call home to dear old dad, letting him know about the sudden involuntary transfer of ownership of his nice race boat.

That story kills this thread.

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1 hour ago, footlong said:

That was right outside my hotel room.  I don't think they even knew they were sinking.  I had my vhf and called the Coast Guard from my balcony.

Knew they were sinking? They were at the race party. They were lolly-gagging along the waterfront on the way home to the boat when they saw all the lights and activity around their boat and about shit their pants when they realized they had fucked up big time. If you read the story, Randy had previously skippered a 60' Spronk and had anchored in that very spot and that boats 2.5' draft had never been a problem. Then he didn't think that an extra 6" of draft on the 75' PPALU would not quite clear that rock that was its demise. At least he bucked up and took the boat back to St Kitts and made things whole again. Randy was one of a kind, RIP.

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1 hour ago, Left Shift said:

Then there was the crew who borrowed Dad's boat to do the Vic-Maui race, took their standard quantity of grass along for the ride, but, arriving in Hawaii, forgot that they were on the Vic-Maui International Yacht Race.   They were very unhappy when the customs and immigration folks hopped on board right when they docked and the crew was enjoying a celebratory beer and toke.  And had left the now-nearly-empty-but-not-quite baggie sitting on the chart table.  

That resulted in a rather painful call home to dear old dad, letting him know about the sudden involuntary transfer of ownership of his nice race boat.

Lost their boat over non trafficable weed - USA land of the free pfffft!

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Back in the Ray-Gun years, they tried to seize the entire r/v Oceanus over a pipe with residue found in a crew bunk. They couldn’t grab Alvin though because technically, it has always belonged to the Navy. Congress had to get involved. 

 

 

 

Now, since Ronnie and Ollie were actively involved in International drug dealing at the time, I don’t see why DEA couldn’t seize the White House and move right in.  Would have been fun to have the prez operating out of a Motel 6 on the beltway. 

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2 hours ago, Rasputin22 said:

Knew they were sinking? They were at the race party. They were lolly-gagging along the waterfront on the way home to the boat when they saw all the lights and activity around their boat and about shit their pants when they realized they had fucked up big time. If you read the story, Randy had previously skippered a 60' Spronk and had anchored in that very spot and that boats 2.5' draft had never been a problem. Then he didn't think that an extra 6" of draft on the 75' PPALU would not quite clear that rock that was its demise. At least he bucked up and took the boat back to St Kitts and made things whole again. Randy was one of a kind, RIP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeMVCL6t8vQ

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Prepping the boat for Antigua Race week, owner was diving to clean the bottom. He didn't have any weights so it was hard work, holding on to a rope and just having one hand free to scrub. During a break, we talked about what we could use for weights to tie around his waist, when I spotted two big empty water bottles. And then I felt really smart and suggested we fill them with water, they'll be real heavy. 

He still laughs when he sees me. 

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10 hours ago, Rasputin22 said:

Knew they were sinking? They were at the race party. They were lolly-gagging along the waterfront on the way home to the boat when they saw all the lights and activity around their boat and about shit their pants when they realized they had fucked up big time. If you read the story, Randy had previously skippered a 60' Spronk and had anchored in that very spot and that boats 2.5' draft had never been a problem. Then he didn't think that an extra 6" of draft on the 75' PPALU would not quite clear that rock that was its demise. At least he bucked up and took the boat back to St Kitts and made things whole again. Randy was one of a kind, RIP.

It was sinking before the party with people on it. I was there.

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14 hours ago, SCANAS said:

Lost their boat over non trafficable weed - USA land of the free pfffft!

It was back in the day when smoking "Mary J" was legally considered one long stride down the short path to eternal damnation.   And 20 years in jail.

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2 hours ago, Rasputin22 said:

Actually I have long believed that all boats are always sinking. Our job is to try and slow that process down.

Anti-entropy crusaders, we are!

- Stumbling

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On 9/29/2018 at 1:39 PM, jack_sparrow said:

Raritan or Jabsco?

I’ve seen it done. :P

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12 hours ago, NORBowGirl said:

Prepping the boat for Antigua Race week, owner was diving to clean the bottom. He didn't have any weights so it was hard work, holding on to a rope and just having one hand free to scrub. During a break, we talked about what we could use for weights to tie around his waist, when I spotted two big empty water bottles. And then I felt really smart and suggested we fill them with water, they'll be real heavy. 

He still laughs when he sees me. 

Physics not your strong point then? :P

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On 9/28/2018 at 1:38 PM, VWAP said:

It was two years ago down at the club and the commodore asked me to take his twin granddaughters out for a sail while they were in town from the all girl college they attended. It turned out they brought six friends, oddly enough 3 sets of twins and they all had long flowing red hair. It was a hot day so they all dressed appropriately in their smallest bikinis. They were all very fit as they were all on the volleyball team. I told them to bring something to drink so the brought a surprisingly large amount of cherry fizz coolers. Once we got underway I was surprised at how fast they were consuming the wine coolers, three of them in particular. I was concerned when those three went skinny dipping in the crystal clear waters but they got back on board ok. They sure were friendly with each other. They went below to dry off and all of a sudden one of them called out to me to come below. They wanted to show me some sort of trick. I gave the helm to the tallest one who somehow  also misplace her bikini top and headed below. All the others were  too busy  to take the helm as they had been rubbing suntan oil on each others mostly naked bodies for the previous half hour or so. They were very diligent and got oil in every nook and cranny. Wow, was I surprised as all three of them still naked were fighting over my very cool  red Mount Gay Rum  hat when all of a sudden two of them started to....... oh wait this is a family site 

Did your boat shoes go missing as well?

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1 hour ago, mad said:

I’ve seen it done. :P

But normally with the kite, not after.

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Not on my boat, but nearby:

VHF net in mid-ocean:

Oh My God It Exploded Have To Go

Rest of the boats in range are frantic - WHAT exploded, do you need help, etc. etc.

Well a few minutes later the boat comes back on and explains: While we were all yacking, someone on that boat was taking a shit. It was really hard to pump the head, so they put all their might into it. They pumped really really hard. Last user of said head had turned off the seacocks. The hose was expanding and blew off the fitting shooting shit all over :o

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22 hours ago, Left Shift said:

Then there was the crew who borrowed Dad's boat to do the Vic-Maui race, took their standard quantity of grass along for the ride, but, arriving in Hawaii, forgot that they were on the Vic-Maui International Yacht Race.   They were very unhappy when the customs and immigration folks hopped on board right when they docked and the crew was enjoying a celebratory beer and toke.  And had left the now-nearly-empty-but-not-quite baggie sitting on the chart table.  

That resulted in a rather painful call home to dear old dad, letting him know about the sudden involuntary transfer of ownership of his nice race boat.

Surely bringing 'Pakalolo' to Hawaii is like bringing coal to Newcastle.

Or a fuckwit to PA.

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10 minutes ago, LB 15 said:

Surely bringing 'Pakalolo' to Hawaii is like bringing coal to Newcastle.

Or a fuckwit to PA.

I don't think they were planning to have much left by the time they arrived.  Too bad it was a fast race that year.  Fast races can be expensive in unexpected ways.

 

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10 hours ago, mad said:

Physics not your strong point then? :P

I would rather say that thinking things through before I speak, is not my strong point ;)   

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On 9/29/2018 at 9:30 AM, Sail4beer said:

I was around 16, Atlantic City Race Week 1983. Staying at Trump Marina on the C&C 36 for the night because I’m sick as a dog-fever, shakes and nauseous as hell while the rest of the crew is out partying.

At some point two of the crew-guy with a thing the size of a fat person’s arm (not VWAP) and the ugliest woman i’d seen up to that point on a boat-come back aboard and begin to rut in the quarter berth across from me. As much as I tried to stay quiet while they recreated the beast with 2 backs, I was overtaken by the smell of their “heat” and started heaving into the bucket I had on hand. They were so drunk that they forgot I was aboard and as soon as I chunked up I had to run for cover as the “lady” began blowing chunks all over her naked “hunk” and the starboard interior.

Luckily by the time the rest of the crew returned I had gotten a room at the hotel since my Mom was a frequent day tripper to the casino and had basically acquired free rooms for life. 

It was difficult Sailing the next day since I was the boat bitch and chute packer and they were well below their game. The smell remains in my sinuses to this day. 

I’m glad they were not invited to the Squan Trysail regatta a few weeks later.

there used to be an atlantic city race week?

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16 hours ago, mad said:

Physics not your strong point then? :P

Physics is her Archimedes Heel.  

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18 minutes ago, jackolantern said:

FTFY

 

MAGA

was just there yesterday. for better or worse, it's still there. 

 

mostly worse. 

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On 10/4/2018 at 10:31 AM, LB 15 said:

Surely bringing 'Pakalolo' to Hawaii

and what year did you happen to be on the North Shore ?

inquiring minds need to know :ph34r:

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Stupid crew gets out a griddle and makes pancakes on an alcohol stove. In a storm with huge waves. With the boat closed up.

The crew LOVED the pancakes! They called for more! More were cooked. Lots of methanol fumes in the cook's face. Idiot couldn't eat his own cooking, he was throwing up half the day.

I was the idiot :rolleyes:

* but there was a bright side. We got a VHF call from a big steel ketch whose crew was half dead from sickness and letting the boat roll her guts out under autopilot. They wanted to know how we were doing and if anyone could still sail. Had to tell them WE ARE ALL EATING PANCAKES AND I AM COOKING SECONDS! :D

** Threw stove in trash and replaced with gas. Now I can cook in a Cat 5 hurricane inverted and not be sick.

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7 hours ago, Mid said:

and what year did you happen to be on the North Shore ?

inquiring minds need to know :ph34r:

80-82. Two best years of my life ...apparently.

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Not quite sailing, but similar to importing strange substances.

If you sail to Scotland, and you like fishing, remember all those inland fresh water Lochs belong to someone. If you are caught fishing in a loch without permission, then anything used to commit the crime can be confiscated by the Ghillie (gamekeeper), including the your car... Many years ago when I lived in the Hebridies an Army Sergeant took an Army Landrover down a dirt track to go fishing and got caught.... The Army eventually got their Landrover back, But the Sergeant was having deductions from his pay for years.

 So check you are fishing in Salt water and havent just walked over embankment to fresh...

See the source image

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