Sign in to follow this  
sunseeker

Floriduh Man

Recommended Posts

Lots of people really pissed off about those fucking scooters. They’re the jet skis of the land. 

In other news...  Florida man:

2000 People show up for funeral of Florida veteran who died without family. 

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/florida/os-ne-veterans-funeral-turnout-20191001-r6mxociw2zfojk6g77npq3shce-story.html

Thats Florida. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah.......hate those scooters as well........they oughta give him a commendation for public service.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Point Break said:

Yeah.......hate those scooters as well........they oughta give him a commendation for public service.

Ok, displaying my ignorance here... why?

There are none here where I live, so I don't know.

Bad behavior and zooming along like those mobility chairs?  

Scooters littering the sidewalks where they are left?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
51 minutes ago, Windward said:

Ok, displaying my ignorance here... why?

There are none here where I live, so I don't know.

Bad behavior and zooming along like those mobility chairs?  

Scooters littering the sidewalks where they are left?

All that and more. Since there is no ownership, they get left anywhere and everywhere. Sidewalks can become completely blocked, even for normal walkers. If yer in a wheelchair, ferget it, you'd need an airlift to get down the street. Riders are clueless, either taking up the sidewalk or Ziggy zagging down the streets as the impulse takes them. There is a company in Pacific Bch that will impound scoots when property owners call them - so far they have more than 12,000 units. Yet there is no lack of the damned things on the streets around there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Windward said:

Ok, displaying my ignorance here... why?

There are none here where I live, so I don't know.

Bad behavior and zooming along like those mobility chairs?  

Scooters littering the sidewalks where they are left?

Yes, all of the above. Riding along the sidewalks at 15mph (I have actually witnessed pedestrian versus scooter on sidewalk accidents), running traffic lights, zooming in and out of traffic, and they are laying all over the place wherever someone finished their ride. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

China tried a number of bike share solutions. Nobody liked the bikes that have a dock that they have to be returned to.  Understandably. They also have the loose ones that are all over the place.  
 

love the idea.  Sad that humans seem incapable of so much that should be simple.   
 

I place the blame on MTV and aqua net.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What the world really needs is bikes that turn into warm Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs every night. With Caesar salad and a glass of red whine.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Ishmael said:

What the world really needs is bikes that turn into warm Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs every night. With Caesar salad and a glass of red whine.

Thast the kinde outta boxe thicken g thet we neede moiré of.                                                                            :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Windward said:

China tried a number of bike share solutions. Nobody liked the bikes that have a dock that they have to be returned to.  Understandably. They also have the loose ones that are all over the place.  
 

love the idea.  Sad that humans seem incapable of so much that should be simple.   
 

I place the blame on MTV and aqua net.  

They can't even put a fucking shopping cart back so.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

They can't even put a fucking shopping cart back so.....

Aldi has that one nailed - to get a cart it takes a quarter. Never seen one left in the parking lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the bikes were really bad in dallas,  multiple companies, thousands of bikes everywhere...  there were using the lake park to essentially store them for the winter as I guess they didn't want to pay for storage..   on a 1 mile stretch of road i once counted 125 bikes ...  fortunately that problem has seem to have gone away as these companies think the scooter are more profitable.  they scooters aren't around the lake as nobody would ride them..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, d'ranger said:

Aldi has that one nailed - to get a cart it takes a quarter. Never seen one left in the parking lot.

But those of us who don’t carry change better remember our eco friendly reusable bag or we are limited to what we can carry to the checkout in our hands. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Innocent Bystander said:

But those of us who don’t carry change better remember our eco friendly reusable bag or we are limited to what we can carry to the checkout in our hands. 

The one near me sells paper bags for .07 and plastic for .10 and they are better than the free ones.  They have efficiency down. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/2/2019 at 7:44 PM, Windward said:

Ok, displaying my ignorance here... why?

There are none here where I live, so I don't know.

Bad behavior and zooming along like those mobility chairs?  

Scooters littering the sidewalks where they are left?

It’s mostly coming from cranky elderly people.  

E scooters are a phenomenal way to get around in urban locations.  After about a month of renting I bought one.  It’s an entry level $400 model with a real world range of 12-15 miles and top speed of 16mph on the flats.  There are some more powerful (and expensive options which if there are any hills around would be a better option).  I use it at least 4 times a week to go to the gym, neighborhood restaurants, the supermarket, outdoor venues etc.

That said they’re were some growing pains at first with people leaving scooters all over the place.  Took a couple of months to get people to be more considerate.  Also here people use the streets and bike lanes a lot,  probably because it’s faster.  I believe there’s a real opportunity for cities to improve “last mile transportation” by encouraging ownership and deemphasizing rentals perhaps with coupons for purchase.  I believe Warren has a plan for that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Fakenews said:

E scooters are a phenomenal way to get around in urban locations.  After about a month of renting I bought one.

Did you sell your Vespa?

I guess now we're going to hear stories about you getting arrested for a DUI while on an E scooter......

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Fakenews said:

It’s mostly coming from cranky elderly people.  

E scooters are a phenomenal way to get around in urban locations.  After about a month of renting I bought one.  It’s an entry level $400 model with a real world range of 12-15 miles and top speed of 16mph on the flats.  There are some more powerful (and expensive options which if there are any hills around would be a better option).  I use it at least 4 times a week to go to the gym, neighborhood restaurants, the supermarket, outdoor venues etc.

That said they’re were some growing pains at first with people leaving scooters all over the place.  Took a couple of months to get people to be more considerate.  Also here people use the streets and bike lanes a lot,  probably because it’s faster.  I believe there’s a real opportunity for cities to improve “last mile transportation” by encouraging ownership and deemphasizing rentals perhaps with coupons for purchase.  I believe Warren has a plan for that. 

Like all "new" things... I hope that once the growing pains go away this sort of thing goes well.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well.....on the heels of this, I just (30 minutes ago) saw a guy driving his electric scooter down Main Street in Seal Beach, no helmet, in traffic, with his cell phone held out in front of him talking his way through a selfie video while running a stop sign.

Not an unusual lack of awareness/common sense/courtesy by the scooter crowd around Seal and Long Beach anyway. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Point Break said:

Well.....on the heels of this, I just (30 minutes ago) saw a guy driving his electric scooter down Main Street in Seal Beach, no helmet, in traffic, with his cell phone held out in front of him talking his way through a selfie video while running a stop sign.

Not an unusual lack of awareness/common sense/courtesy by the scooter crowd around Seal and Long Beach anyway. 

Darwin strikes again moment.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Front page of the Charlotte Sun (covering Charlotte County, FL)
FloridaMen-Giuliani.thumb.jpg.f8d08b9447ede02884d41e952deb9d99.jpg

Even in Florida, Florida Man gets headlines

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/10/2019 at 6:22 AM, slap said:

Did you sell your Vespa?

I guess now we're going to hear stories about you getting arrested for a DUI while on an E scooter......

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two Florida men accused of stealing chainsaws, trying to sell them back to victim

October 14, 2019 at 10:48 AM EDT - Updated October 14 at 10:48 AM

CHARLOTTE COUNTY, Fla. (WWSB) - Deputies in Charlotte County say two Port Charlotte residents stole a pair of chainsaws and then tried to sell them back to the victim.

On Saturday, October 12, the sheriff’s office was called to a home in Port Charlotte where a man found two chainsaws had been stolen overnight from a toolbox in his vehicle. The victim told deputies that he sent a text message to his neighbor, 36-year-old Rustin Rodgers, asking Rodgers if he knew anything about the theft and offering an $800 reward for information leading to the recovery of the chainsaws.

The sheriff’s office says Rodgers responded, sending a picture of one of the chainsaws to the victim and asking $1,000 for the return of both chainsaws. According to deputies, Rodgers also told the victim not to contact law enforcement.

Gotta love Floriduh.  The criminal tells the victim not to call the cops, just send the money.

"We have your chainsaws and if you don't want any harm to come to them, don't call the cops." :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Florida Man stole orchids from the Charlotte County jail.

Any other orchid or Orchid Thief fans out there?

The led to some fun last night as my wife an I discovered that, while Florida Man is often funny and interesting, Naked Florida Man is always entertaining. Not always nice, but always entertaining.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Hypercapnic Tom said:

Florida Man stole orchids from the Charlotte County jail.

But the perp, Chris Bigness, did admit to police when apprehended, "I'm such an idiot!"  The fact he recognized that means there might be hope for him. 

However, he was apprehended in the jail parking lot, running for his car, with a big lump under his shirt.  Maybe there's not that much hope after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to give Floriduh credit - it never ceases to amaze.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No you don't. You really don't.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, TheUltimateSockPuppet said:

That is a good website for creative writing.

 

_______________________

Naked Vaseline covered Florida man streaks through mall and takes dump in cash register

Florida – A naked Florida man covered in Vaseline was caught running through a mall in the Southern Florida area this afternoon. The Florida man was screaming profanities and how Elizabeth Warren was going to tax him to death.

Florida

Source: The Smoking Gun

This Tuesday afternoon a Florida man covered himself in Vaseline and ran naked through a southern Florida mall. It took police 45 minutes to catch the man. The mall is closed for the rest of the day.

“I was looking for new underwear to buy when all of a sudden I heard screaming of a distraught man,” a local woman said. “When I looked up, I saw an oily naked man running through the mall screaming profanities and how Elizabeth Warren is going to tax him.”

The man ran in and out of stores screaming at shoppers and workers about how Elizabeth Warren was going to tax him and take all his money. Police arrived on scene promptly.

“When the police arrived all hell broke loose,” a Florida woman stated.

The man was nearly impossible to catch. Since he was covered in Vaseline, he was able to slip out of the hands of the officers with ease and slide under their legs on his belly like a greased-up pig.

“I had him in my hands and he just slipped right out of them,” a police officer stated. “When I caught him for that split second, he headbutted me, grunted like a potbelly pig about to eat a bag of popcorn and slipped right under my legs.”

After the close encounter with the police, the Florida man ran into a national women’s clothing store.

“I wasn’t sure what was going on,” a cashier at the national women’s clothing store said. “He jumped right up on the counter and took a fresh dump right inside of the cash register. The fresh dump smelled like the time my degenerate brother put roadkill in the microwave for 30 minutes as an April Fool’s joke.”

When the police made it into the national women’s clothing store, they tackled the Florida man to only have him slip away yet again due to his greased-up Vaseline body.

“I was about to give up and just quit my job,” a police officer stated. “I definitely don’t get paid enough to chase naked men covered in Vaseline, let alone one’s who just took a fresh one in a cash register.”

When all was thought to be lost, the police officer found the Florida man passed out inside a store that sells mattresses. The man was cuddled up on a brand-new mattress holding a teddy bear. The mattress is now listed on eBay for $10,000 as Vintage Vaseline Florida Man Mattress.

Another Florida man was arrested that afternoon at the mall for stealing the money out of the cash register where the fresh dump laid.

The Vaseline covered Florida man is being held in the local jail for disturbing the peace and nudity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

You have to give Floriduh credit - it never ceases to amaze.

Maybe that's why so many Canadians come down here.  It's Ripley's at the lower end of human intelligence.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Windward said:

“I had him in my hands and he just slipped right out of them,” a police officer stated. “When I caught him for that split second, he headbutted me, grunted like a potbelly pig about to eat a bag of popcorn and slipped right under my legs.”

My favorite part......

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dunno - taking a dump in a cash register is right up there. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

I dunno - taking a dump in a cash register is right up there. :lol:

:lol:

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, VWAP said:

Geee wheredaya find dat ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, VWAP said:

Dolphins are much more respectful than mermaids, they only engage in consensual relations.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Dilligaf0220 said:

Dolphins are much more respectful than mermaids, they only engage in consensual relations.

 

Dolphins couldn fuck the chargers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/10/2019 at 11:22 PM, slap said:

Did you sell your Vespa?

I guess now we're going to hear stories about you getting arrested for a DUI while on an E scooter......

He left it at the playboy mansion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Dilligaf0220 said:

Dolphins are much more respectful than mermaids, they only engage in consensual relations.

 

meaner then you think..  

Quote

While it's known that dolphins are one type of animal that has sex for pleasure like humans - and even masturbate like humans - a dark trait they share with people is the fact they commit sex crimes. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/10/2019 at 2:36 PM, Point Break said:

Well.....on the heels of this, I just (30 minutes ago) saw a guy driving his electric scooter down Main Street in Seal Beach, no helmet, in traffic, with his cell phone held out in front of him talking his way through a selfie video while running a stop sign.

Not an unusual lack of awareness/common sense/courtesy by the scooter crowd around Seal and Long Beach anyway. 

Apparently there is something less than unanimous approval of them in Paris as well. 

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-france-scooters-idUSKBN1X41ZF

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/23/2019 at 4:57 PM, Windward said:

Naked Vaseline covered Florida man streaks through mall and takes dump in cash register

Missed this one when I searched for the phrase "naked Florida man" because I forgot to add the obvious "vaseline covered." Thanks for catching it.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lady writes a letter to the editor.  Says "I have had obscenities yelled at me at stop signs. I've been run off the road.  My car has been keyed.  And my children have had to endure obscene gestures waved in their faces."  Based on the expletives she's heard, it has something to do with her bumper sticker. "Proud Democrat"  So she's going to put more stickers on her car.  Stay tuned.... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, captrcb said:

So Trump is now changing his residence to Florida.  We have a new Floriduh Man.

yes, if NY files fraud charges for the illegally obtained business loans, he'll have to be extradited from FLA a republican friendly state...   the man is not stupid..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

yes, if NY files fraud charges for the illegally obtained business loans, he'll have to be extradited from FLA a republican friendly state...   the man is not stupid..

The man is an idiot. His advisors may have a clue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this