sunseeker

Floriduh Man

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12 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

Did he think it was the rental return desk?

drive thru

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"Man bites dog"

The definition of news.

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Not up to Floriduh standards but still honorable mention worthy. 

https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/detroit/2020/01/03/detroit-police-new-years-eve-celebratory-shooting-crime/2807764001/

And, the chief said, the police identified the 14 people that were recorded in the celebratory shooting video and will seek charges. Of the 14, he said, seven are on parole, and of those, two were wearing electronic tethers.

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19 minutes ago, Bump-n-Grind said:

Dude had pretty tough feet.

Quote

The intruder told the man he was there to suck on his toes, according to an investigation write-up.

That’s when the man punched the accused toe sucker and forced him outside, according to investigators. While the two brawled, the man who sucked the toes told the other man he had a gun and tried to fondle him, according to investigators.

The man continued to hit the intruder for about 30 seconds before running inside and calling 911, deputies said. At this point the intruder broke out the front window of the home and stomped on the other man’s car’s windshield until it broke, deputies said.

That's pretty determined for a toesucker. In my limited experience with toesuckers. 

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12 minutes ago, Charlie Foxtrot said:

Arkansas Man make a strong bid...

Arkansas man kidnaps man and his goat from a porn store. 

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/newsblog/2020/01/02/meth-addled-carjacker-kidnaps-man-and-goat-from-missouri-porn-store

You could start a best of 2020 with that entry.

Quote

One of the men went inside the store, while the goat and its owner slept in the truck. When that man awoke, according to KOTV in Tulsa, he found that a carjacker had stolen the vehicle and was pointing a gun at his head.

Brandon Kirby, 40, then allegedly drove the truck through three states — Missouri, Kansas and Oklahoma — while doing meth and pistol-whipping his frightened passenger. According to police, Kirby eventually let the man and the goat out of the truck in Creek County, Oklahoma, where the man promptly called 911.

 

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Arkansas has seemed to be Floriduh lite for a long time.

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8 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

Arkansas has seemed to be Floriduh lite for a long time.

That was a strong play for the Man Crown.  Especially for so early in the year.  

But I've got faith in my adopted state; the Crazy Streak run deep, wide and long here. We haven't even begun to plumb its bath salty depths.     

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Florida woman and her landlord had an ongoing dispute — so she threw human feces on her, cops say

Joanne Mercader, 59, was arrested and charged with battery on a person 65 or older after she threw a bucket of human feces on her landlord, according to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

Deputies responded to a trailer in Osteen, near Deltona in Central Florida, around 5:15 p.m. Saturday where they found a woman dripping in human waste and Mercader with caked feces on her face, the agency says.

They even include a video of the shit-covered Florida woman.

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A bucketful? Must have been planning that for a while

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2 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

A bucketful? Must have been planning that for a while

Maybe she was just full of shit.

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58 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

Mabey she asksed frendes and familey to contirbutte........             :)    

jesus snaggy, you did NOT have to write that.

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2 minutes ago, chester said:
1 hour ago, Snaggletooth said:

Mabey she asksed frendes and familey to contirbutte........             :)    

jesus snaggy, you did NOT have to write that.

Yeah, you ritte, I dointe thicke she hade annybodey help herre eithere..........               :)

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2 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

Mabey she asksed frendes and familey to contirbutte........             :)    

I can see that - have friends & family over and have them crap in a bucket (all the same bucket) - who could say no?

Especially if you told them why.

No-one has commented on one of them being literally shit faced.

Or on the fact that it was a trailer park.

Jeezuss - a Floriduh trailer park - wouldn't you think that a person would become suicidal well before they sank to that level?

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19 hours ago, Ishmael said:

Maybe she was just full of shit.

Not any more.

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"Pull My Finger" is to farting . . . 

as

___________________________ is to bucket deuce-ing and dumping it on your landlord. 

"Twist my arm?" 

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Ex-Mrs. Florida headed to prison for stealing mom’s checks

WEST PALM BEACH — A conservative media commentator who was crowned Mrs. Florida 2016 is headed to prison after a federal judge on Thursday said he wanted to send a message that if you steal from the U.S. government, you’re going to jail.

Unless Karyn Turk can convince an appeals court that she doesn’t deserve to spend a month behind bars for stealing her elderly mother’s Social Security checks instead of using the money to pay for nursing home care, the Highland Beach resident must report to prison on March 2.

Turk’s looming jail sentence — to be followed by five months of house arrest — was ordered by U.S. Magistrate Bruce Reinhart after a contentious hearing.

He also ordered Turk to perform 100 hours of community service at a nursing home — a reminder of the time she never spent with her own mother who spent three years in a Lake Worth facility, ravaged by Alzheimer’s disease.

While Turk didn’t show any reaction to Reinhart’s decision, she and her lawyers sought to convince him that she has suffered enough and didn’t deserve house arrest, much less prison time.

 

Do you mean to say her conservative supporters weren't paying her a living wage so she had to steal money from her mom? 

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20 hours ago, chester said:

tickle my ass with a feather?

 

That's kinky!!  But it's perverted, when you use the whole chicken!! :P:ph34r:

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1 hour ago, billy backstay said:

 

That's kinky!!  But it's perverted, when you use the whole chicken!! :P:ph34r:

Goose?

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1 minute ago, Windward said:

Goose?

I thick the proppere ordere ist duck, duck, goose                                                                     :)

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7 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

I thick the proppere ordere ist duck, duck, goose                                                                     :)

Nope, chicken then duck then turkey 

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Just now, pbd said:

Nope, chicken then duck then turkey 

Ahhhh!  The revearse Turdukkene!                               :)

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On 1/11/2020 at 5:26 PM, Sol Rosenberg said:

 

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Morrison was a fucked up asshole but he had a hell of a voice.

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Just now, SloopJonB said:

Morrison was a fucked up asshole but he had a hell of a voice.

I thouht hisse looks carriede hime?

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O.G has morped into what these days?  I'm not really up on my hip-slang as I used to be.  My understanding is that Original Gangsta is long gone.

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21 hours ago, Windward said:

O.G has morped into what these days?  I'm not really up on my hip-slang as I used to be.  My understanding is that Original Gangsta is long gone.

Old Guard.

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Opera Ghost.  

(For those that missed reference, read 'Phantom of the Opera'.)

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On 1/18/2020 at 7:27 PM, SloopJonB said:

Morrison was a fucked up asshole but he had a hell of a voice.

oh, so you knew him ?

 

in a troubling PSA   so keep an eye out

Quote

Frozen iguanas forecast to shower south Florida as temperatures drop.  National Weather Service warned of reptiles falling from trees as iguanas are susceptible to freezing once temperatures fall to 40F

 

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1 hour ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

oh, so you knew him ?

Anybody who liked The Doors knew about him.

It's called celebrity.

When you get busted for weenie wagging on stage it's an indicator of a questionable mental state.

When you drink yourself to death - sorry, suffer heart failure - in your twenties it sort of confirms it.

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On 1/18/2020 at 8:27 PM, SloopJonB said:

Morrison was a fucked up asshole but he had a hell of a voice.

Poet as well.   His father was nearby during  the  Golf of Tonkin incident and got promoted to Admiral.   Predictably they were not on great terms,    After his death the admiral admitted Morrison had shown a kind of genius.    It’s a shame he was so self destructive.   

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On 1/21/2020 at 6:31 PM, SloopJonB said:

Anybody who liked The Doors knew about him.

It's called celebrity.

When you get busted for weenie wagging on stage it's an indicator of a questionable mental state.

When you drink yourself to death - sorry, suffer heart failure - in your twenties it sort of confirms it.

ok boomer 

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18 minutes ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

ok boomer 

I can't believe that Gen X and the Millennials couldn't come up with anything better than that pathetic dismissal.

My daughter did it better when she was 15 with ":rolleyes: whatever".

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On 1/12/2020 at 8:21 PM, Sol Rosenberg said:

2171AE0B-2174-4A83-84AA-3F40E627DB47.jpeg

Sol did you snatch this from FB Historic Florida? It was on there recently 

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38 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

I can't believe that Gen X and the Millennials couldn't come up with anything better than that pathetic dismissal.

My daughter did it better when she was 15 with ":rolleyes: whatever".

Ok boomer.   Except you codgers invented music.    Hair bands are good for a workout but the old time stuff rocks a road trip.  Not my generation but if you discover music during disco and come of age during pop you have to substitute.   

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2 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

I can't believe that Gen X and the Millennials couldn't come up with anything better than that pathetic dismissal.

My daughter did it better when she was 15 with ":rolleyes: whatever".

ok boomer

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:rolleyes: whatever

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Man   3 weeks without any fucked up incidents.

Maybe there is something to the thought that it is the hot summer sun that boils their brains.

Or the Florida Tourism Council has put the kibosh on any negative articles until after the Superbowl

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8 hours ago, Foreverslow said:

Man   3 weeks without any fucked up incidents.

Maybe there is something to the thought that it is the hot summer sun that boils their brains.

Or the Florida Tourism Council has put the kibosh on any negative articles until after the Superbowl

Between the Corona Virus, Trump's trial, Kobe's death, and the Superbowel there is little room for other news.

Or maybe it has to get to a whole new level of stupid before it is newsworthy.

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1 hour ago, slap said:

Between the Corona Virus, Trump's trial, Kobe's death, and the Superbowel there is little room for other news.

Or maybe it has to get to a whole new level of stupid before it is newsworthy.

Sure does...  kinda sleepy around SA as well.

The steel boat guys like Seeker and RustyJunk have gotten quiet, and we have no 1000 days or sash weights.

Leo and the Acorn guys are ok, but lack the pop that Reid provided.

Perhaps I should stop complaining and go clean the garage.

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14 hours ago, Sol Rosenberg said:

FHP finds stash of drugs in bag labelled "Bag Full of Drugs". What are the odds?  

https://www.wesh.com/article/florida-troopers-find-narcotics-in-bag-labeled-bag-full-of-drugs/30763146 

Possibly related:

Found while cleaning stuff up after the death of a Florida Man: a paper bag labeled "pieces of string too small to save."

It contained pieces of string too small to save.

Looking around my sheds and my shop, it's fair to wonder if I'm becoming that person.

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my problem is "pieces of wood and metal that are never going to be used again but i can't bring myself to admit that".  i have a little piece of aluminum bar about a foot long that is bent on each end with a hole in each end. It would attach to each surface of something at 90 degrees, a bracket or support. I know it was in some piece of furniture or something that i dismantled and threw away but there it is sitting on my bench...there just HAS to be a use for that thing! :rolleyes:

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Easy way to test that theory - toss it out.

Guaranteed that a use for it will arise - probably within a couple of weeks.

That method is every bit as effective as the "Buy a new one" technique is for finding things like lost tools. :D

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groaan, a couple of years ago i was going to use my bench top drill press...could not find the fucking chuck key. drove all over fucking town and bought one.  got home..it didn't fit.  looked over at the drill press and saw the key, you know, safe and secure in the chuck key clip on the side of the press. JFC, what a moron. still have the key that didn't fit...somewhere.

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My worst experience of that was losing my bright yellow DeWalt orbital sander. I hunted for it for 3 days, my wife hunted for it - it was gone.

Bought a new Makita and when I was opening the box I looked up and there was the DeWalt right in front of me.

I swear it was laughing at me.

A more recent case - 3 sheets of laminate I had stored for about 20 years - I finally tossed them and shortly afterwards bought a project boat that needed some new laminate.

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12 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

My worst experience of that was losing my bright yellow DeWalt orbital sander. I hunted for it for 3 days, my wife hunted for it - it was gone.

Bought a new Makita and when I was opening the box I looked up and there was the DeWalt right in front of me.

I swear it was laughing at me.

A more recent case - 3 sheets of laminate I had stored for about 20 years - I finally tossed them and shortly afterwards bought a project boat that needed some new laminate.

yea, this sucks.  you store that type of stuff knowing it's good and may be useful in some smaller project.  the project you envision and the one that comes up always requires less than a full sheet  so you're golden, really getting the most out of your initial cash outlay!  fucking brilliant.  then eventually you moved it around one too many times and out it goes. and then your off to by a full sheet for $100's

I'm still storing the ply from the cupboard doors of our current house.  when we moved in i painted the cupboards and the wall units never got the doors back on, we liked the open look.  (we have new cupboards now after a reno) .  the house and cupboards are from 1956 so we are talking multiple ply fir full 3/4 inch material, it's a thing of beauty.  that stuff does get worked into projects and i still have some left and it's the one thing that i will NOT throw out.

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3 hours ago, Black Sox said:

Florida men found him. Amazing story. Very lucky guy. He should have been digested by then. 

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12 minutes ago, Sol Rosenberg said:

Florida men found him. Amazing story. Very lucky guy. He should have been digested by then. 

I admit to being surprised that he was still alive after floating in Florida water for ANY length of time.

I thought the place was full of carnivorous dragons and poisonous snakes, a sort of mini wannabe Australia.

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Why was he floating in the water for days?  I appreciate the mosquito problem, but dragons and snakes indeed. 

Poor guy...  Perhaps Tom (insert whatevernamehere) can get a good deal on a kayak for his pond?

Nice to see a happy ending.

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3 hours ago, Black Sox said:
3 hours ago, Sol Rosenberg said:

Florida men found him. Amazing story. Very lucky guy. He should have been digested by then. 

I admit to being surprised that he was still alive after floating in Florida water for ANY length of time.

I thought the place was full of carnivorous dragons and poisonous snakes, a sort of mini wannabe Australia.

Unlike Australian animals that actively stalk humans (particularly American tourists), Florida gators and snakes are pretty lazy and wait for you to walk, swim or float by.  

 

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Non-starter.

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Take it to PA - and it's grandstanding and targeted to the base that has zero clue how to pass an amendment to the Constitution.  sigh. it's a big audience.

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On 2/7/2020 at 4:25 AM, Windward said:

Why was he floating in the water for days?  I appreciate the mosquito problem, but dragons and snakes indeed. 

Poor guy...  Perhaps Tom (insert whatevernamehere) can get a good deal on a kayak for his pond?

Nice to see a happy ending.

I like happy endings.........

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On 2/5/2020 at 4:56 PM, chester said:

yea, this sucks.  you store that type of stuff knowing it's good and may be useful in some smaller project.  the project you envision and the one that comes up always requires less than a full sheet  so you're golden, really getting the most out of your initial cash outlay!  fucking brilliant.  then eventually you moved it around one too many times and out it goes. and then your off to by a full sheet for $100's

I'm still storing the ply from the cupboard doors of our current house.  when we moved in i painted the cupboards and the wall units never got the doors back on, we liked the open look.  (we have new cupboards now after a reno) .  the house and cupboards are from 1956 so we are talking multiple ply fir full 3/4 inch material, it's a thing of beauty.  that stuff does get worked into projects and i still have some left and it's the one thing that i will NOT throw out.

The only thing that's worse is when it DOES get used.

In 1999, I bought a full sheet of 13 ply marine grade stuff with pretty mahogany facing on both sides. I needed a new bow locker cover for my 15' Whaler. So I had most of a really nice sheet left. Knowing I'd find a use for it, I saved it.

A few years ago, having my roof replaced, I told the roofer that there was some 3/4" ply in my shed if he needed a bit for rotten spots. I meant, but did not say, the fairly crappy PT stuff, two sheets of which were sitting there behind the good scrap.

I got home from work and found the good piece on the lawn with a chunk removed.

I still have what's left. And might for life.

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9 hours ago, Plenipotentiary Tom said:

The only thing that's worse is when it DOES get used.

In 1999, I bought a full sheet of 13 ply marine grade stuff with pretty mahogany facing on both sides. I needed a new bow locker cover for my 15' Whaler. So I had most of a really nice sheet left. Knowing I'd find a use for it, I saved it.

A few years ago, having my roof replaced, I told the roofer that there was some 3/4" ply in my shed if he needed a bit for rotten spots. I meant, but did not say, the fairly crappy PT stuff, two sheets of which were sitting there behind the good scrap.

I got home from work and found the good piece on the lawn with a chunk removed.

I still have what's left. And might for life.

Damn!

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On 2/8/2020 at 4:49 AM, Plenipotentiary Tom said:

The only thing that's worse is when it DOES get used.

In 1999, I bought a full sheet of 13 ply marine grade stuff with pretty mahogany facing on both sides. I needed a new bow locker cover for my 15' Whaler. So I had most of a really nice sheet left. Knowing I'd find a use for it, I saved it.

A few years ago, having my roof replaced, I told the roofer that there was some 3/4" ply in my shed if he needed a bit for rotten spots. I meant, but did not say, the fairly crappy PT stuff, two sheets of which were sitting there behind the good scrap.

I got home from work and found the good piece on the lawn with a chunk removed.

I still have what's left. And might for life.

Ouch.  I feel your pain, Tom.

I sometimes make half-hull models out of wood I scrounge and donate them to charity fundraisers.  They aren't too hard to make, and if the materials are scrounged, I get a few days entertainment, the charity gets something to auction off and it keeps crap from going to the landfill.

I recently had some electrical work done around the house, including some work in the crawlspace. I came home from work, and thought I would crawl down there and see how things went.  

I had recently scrounged two solid maple table leafs, which when glued together, would have made a perfect backboard for a half hull made from some scrounged 100 year old mahogany.  When I got into my crawlspace, I found one of the leafs screwed into a floor joist to mount an electrical box.  The worse part is the damn sparky had to move some fir 2x6's out of the way to get to the maple.

Oh well, at least I didn't buy the maple.

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ahh florida....

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7987471/Florida-deputy-threatens-SHOOT-student-trying-leave-school.html

  • William Miller, 17, attempted to leave River Ridge High School in Florida to go to a dental appointment on December 17, but was stopped 
  • Pasco County sheriff's deputy and a school discipline assistant blocked Miller's way and refused to let him leave campus 
  • As body camera video shows, Miller argued he had a valid excuse and promised to return with a note 
  • As he tried to leave, deputy told him: 'you’re gonna get shot, you come another f***ing foot closer to me'
  • Miller was eventually suspended and then expelled from school  

William's mother, Nedra Miller, said she had called her son's school in advance to explain his absence and claimed that he did not want to bother her at work as he attempted to leave. 

The teen was suspended from December 17 to January 9, and was later expelled from school. 

Miller admitted that her son acted immaturely, but she cast much of the blame for the escalation of the dispute on the adults, arguing that the officer is unfit to be around children. 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7987471/Florida-deputy-threatens-SHOOT-student-trying-leave-school.html#v-2868893205295706669

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MAGA!

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i truly believe at least 1/3 of the billions of homeland security dollars be used in retraining a lot of police forces and vetting out people who shouldn't be in a uniform or have a gun..

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Fort Lauderdale officials say 211.6m gallons of sewage has spilled into Fort Lauderdale waterways in the past few months.

The Sun-Sentinel reports that’s enough to fill 320 Olympic-sized pools.

The city’s aging sewer pipes broke six times in December and spewed 126.9m gallons of sewage – ranking as one of South Florida’s biggest spills ever. The spills fouled the Tarpon River, the Himmarshee Canal and streets in three neighborhoods.

According to what officials told the state Department of Environmental Protection, 79.3m gallons spilled into George English Lake over a 10-day period that began 30 January and ended 8 February. Then an additional 5.4m gallons flooded streets near park right across from a popular mall.

In recent weeks, crews also have rushed to fix another string of water main breaks, forcing the city to warn residents to boil their tap water before drinking, brushing their teeth or washing dishes.

 

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Welle, at leaste they cane bathe in the fillthe............                                           :)

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People have been saying for a long time that South Florida is a shitty place.

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3 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

People have been saying for a long time that South Florida is a shitty place.

It's a shithole part of the country.... Just ask Trump. He lives there, and he's the biggest, wettest shit in the USA right now.

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