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sunseeker

Floriduh Man

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3 minutes ago, Snaggletooth said:

foto is datted 2012/4/2                      :)

The way you write that date could really be 2021/2/4, and we’d never know. So, back to the future.

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Just now, sunseeker said:

The way you write that date could really be 2021/2/4, and we’d never know. So, back to the future.

Didde you looke at the foto?

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They really have got to think seriously about making bottled drinking water mandatory in that state.

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3 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

They really have got to think seriously about making bottled drinking water mandatory in that state.

Ime am thickeng that ist allreddey the promblem.                                   :)

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3 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

Didde you looke at the foto?

The point of the post was the place, not the date.

 

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1 minute ago, sunseeker said:
3 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

Didde you looke at the foto?

The point of the post was the place, not the date

Oh, ist thet what youwearre sayeng in poeste # 4?  I misanderstoode.                           :)

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this thread needs bOObs

b433fced947e1d1f751d542bb6bc55a6.jpg

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3 hours ago, Snaggletooth said:

Oh, ist thet what youwearre sayeng in poeste # 4?  I misanderstoode.                           :)

Welcombe, brohter! I'm a misanthrope too.

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56 minutes ago, VWAP said:

this thread needs bOObs

b433fced947e1d1f751d542bb6bc55a6.jpg

knot ass mutch ass the Grannies

 

training bras won the supporting roll

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2 hours ago, chester said:

her face kinda looks like micheal jackson

Face...what face?

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1 hour ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

I think there should be a separate forum for florida

There is;

The Darwin Strikes Again thread.

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Or the Tom Ray thread.

I note a new name change. Guys, we have to give him more attention, if possible. 

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I thought it was very civil of the software to carry forward my ignore of him to the new handle.

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4 hours ago, VWAP said:

 

That one actually works both ways.

And we BOTH think that "Floriduh" and "Floriduhn's" means stupid, dumb.

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4 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

That one actually works both ways.

 

hqdefault.jpg

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30 minutes ago, VWAP said:

hqdefault.jpg

image.png.7ffb9d16b87b2a05d9e234e3a5ad2b77.png

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13 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

image.png.7ffb9d16b87b2a05d9e234e3a5ad2b77.png

fuck you're old

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Fuck you're a juvenile fool

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Just to be clear, the audio clip above is from a satirical radio show called "this is that".

It's like The Onion on the radio. 

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I love that show, unfortunately they have wrapped it up.  they were always getting email from people outraged at the "stories"

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4 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

Fuck you're a juvenile fool

You're as funny as my great grandpa 

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On 1/7/2019 at 12:13 AM, VWAP said:

this thread needs bOObs

b433fced947e1d1f751d542bb6bc55a6.jpg

Those look more like bOObs.

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During cross-examination at one hearing, Oakley's lawyer asked McGrady if she had ever told anyone about the alleged assault on her then-boss.

"Not about that incident, no," McGrady replied. "I mean, she licked a lot of people, sir. So everyone kind of talked about the fact that she licked people. That's what she did when she got drunk."

If that tried to lick me I would staple it's tongue to the door.

1549575158843.jpg

 

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It would depend to some extent on what she was licking.

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16 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

It would depend to some extent on what she was licking.

True. I might have to staple her tongue to the floor instead.

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Looks more like a Caiman than an alligator....

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That is awesome!    "swamp trailer-park chic” look,

And you can rent an alligator?   I had no idea.

 

Bravo swamp chick, bravo.  (though I suggest not playing with the shotgun and bud light at the same time)

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He looks reasonably apologetic. He should be in government.

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On 2/7/2019 at 11:04 PM, Ishmael said:

If that tried to lick me I would staple it's tongue to the door.

1549575158843.jpg

 

i thought snaggy might be involved

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https://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/20190222/did-rare-stolen-coins-end-up-in-supermarket-change-machine-victim-wonders

Authorities said Mele, 40, of Riviera Beach confessed he stole rare coins and other items, valued at $350,000, from Johnson’s North Palm Beach office in December.

Mele reportedly said he sold some, then ran many through change machines, where he got just face value. 

Mele told police he dumped the rest of the collectibles in “Coin Star” machines at area grocery stores. People often trade large stashes of loose coins for store credit, minus a fee of as much as 11.9 percent.

That means if he dropped in the 33 presidential coins, valued at $1,000 each, he got about $29.30.

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13 hours ago, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

not all florida men are idiots

aE2W6qO_460swp.webp

I don't know about that - it takes a lot longer than a week to replace all the constituents of a donated pint.

Here you aren't allowed to donate more than every couple of months.

I suspect he was selling his blood. Which you also can't do here.

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4 hours ago, SloopJonB said:

I don't know about that - it takes a lot longer than a week to replace all the constituents of a donated pint.

Here you aren't allowed to donate more than every couple of months.

I suspect he was selling his blood. Which you also can't do here.

For those more interested in facts than suspicion...

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/tavares-man-donates-100th-gallon-of-blood

Quote

David Williams, who is a long-time car mechanic, found time to donate every week or two at the OneBlood Leesburg Donor Center, spending at least two hours each of those days sitting in a chair, according to a news release.

He was "selling" in the sense that you get a hat and a $10 eGift card at OneBlood centers. Various retailers also offer $10 gift cards if you donate at their locations, according to the OneBlood site. Two hours, works out to $5 per hour. Most wrench swingers can pull in more in other ways, but greed could explain his actions.

The articles on him mention platelet donation. OneBlood allows whole blood donation every two months and platelet donation every week.

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one guy to the other"  I told you it was supposed to be a red flag tied to the mast..."

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The one guy has the long black sox suggesting he's not a real Floridian.

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58 minutes ago, Blue Crab said:

The one guy has the long black sox suggesting he's not a real Floridian.

its probably a  coppert fit, like the one he has on his arm.  It helping heal the injury from busting his shin on the trailer hitch

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Floriduh (wo)man

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228472364.html

Florida woman leaves car and streaks naked across i95 to rescue dog...

Even better

https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/woman-accused-of-shoplifting-masturbating-in-front-of-teen-on-way-to-jail/1860996490

so let’s steal from a beauty store and while in the way to jail masturbate in front of a teenager

or miller time

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40206708/florida-woman-left-her-5-kids-in-the-car-to-drink-at-a-bar

lets leave 5 kids in a car while we go to the bar for a drink.  

To be honest, if I had 5 kids two of which were only 3 weeks old,  I’d probaly be drinking too

 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, Marcjsmith said:

Floriduh (wo)man

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article228472364.html

Florida woman leaves car and streaks naked across i95 to rescue dog...

Even better

https://www.wfla.com/news/pinellas-county/woman-accused-of-shoplifting-masturbating-in-front-of-teen-on-way-to-jail/1860996490

so let’s steal from a beauty store and while in the way to jail masturbate in front of a teenager

or miller time

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/40206708/florida-woman-left-her-5-kids-in-the-car-to-drink-at-a-bar

lets leave 5 kids in a car while we go to the bar for a drink.  

To be honest, if I had 5 kids two of which were only 3 weeks old,  I’d probaly be drinking too

:)

 

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Welcome to my town of Freakville fl.This is normal behavior for white trash.

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On 1/29/2019 at 3:51 PM, Bus Driver said:

Those look more like bOObs.

Hell yeah

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much better than collecting alloy cans

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On 3/22/2019 at 9:09 AM, Marcjsmith said:

one guy to the other"  I told you it was supposed to be a red flag tied to the mast..."

__333a13d7a23c15bad3fb3dfc3cc8e210_width

I hate to tell y'all but that's no mast. It's a light pole. The two fixtures on the near end are where the cantilevered twin arms go that support the light over the street. It originally looked something like this:

street-lighting-pole-500x500.jpg

Hate to say it but I see light poles, obviously knocked over by a vehicle, from time to time and always contemplate the value. Hell, in recycling alone it's non-trivial but frankly I have uses for a long aluminum pole that doens't include sailing. Very useful in the shop and around the property.

 

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The arms are on the roof if you look closely 

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It is challenging to steal traffic light poles.  The trouble with trying tosneak away with them at night, is that once you cut it down, you cant see very well to tie it on the roof.

If you try stealing them in broad daylight, it is very large and as our heroes found out,,,,,It is a bit obvious.

 

Shoulda stuck to stealing shopping carts:

 

2041195883_stealingshoppingcarts.jpg.613a90fcff179a83ec057179a936699b.jpg

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Seriously..... Why would you need a shopping cart if you have a Mercury Sable?.....

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Sort of how the Floriduh Man looks at fixing his roof.

     You cain't fix it when it's raining because you will get wet, and you don't need to fix when it ain't raining...

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1 minute ago, Mrleft8 said:

Seriously..... Why would you need a shopping cart if you have a Mercury Sable?.....

BBQ Grill, I thought you lived in Florida MrLeft.

Image result for shopping cart bbq grill

 

 

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2 hours ago, Porter42 said:

I hate to tell y'all but that's no mast. It's a light pole. 

Yeah no shit Sherlock. Post some tits or STFU

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Have to admit I was fooled until half way through this. Tis kinda dim. A freaking light pole?

Well we get the dingers we deserve...don't we?

Never gave it much attention and passed only to come back by accident...

Have to also admit, these dingers were amped up enough to dump and dismantle a city light pole, and then haul it...

Naw, must a found it and then ran up the road for a Darwin trophy...amazing, and some say there's an opiate crisis!

Ain't met these mates...but I''ll bet they are close and have a pool in back yard, one o those blue-ones, to match their Porta Potty collection. Bet their poulains have holes in 'em!

Amazing...

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On 3/29/2019 at 6:03 AM, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

is that robin sparkles in the background?

I see what you did there. Lets go to the mall.

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2 hours ago, Alcatraz5768 said:
On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 1:03 PM, Grande Mastere Dreade said:

is that robin sparkles in the background?

I see what you did there. Lets go to the mall.

05-sparkles-cd-cover_w330_h330.jpg.63d6423260ff9ca717710d5c3a6dc8ea.jpg

 

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Brian of Dundee called 911 to report an armed robbery. Two unknown suspects took his money, his necklace, and his cellphone. They threw the phone on the ground, jumped into a black Ford Crown Victoria and sped away. Deputies quickly responded, along with Air and K-9.

 
 
 

           However, these weren’t exactly the facts:

Deputies quickly learned that the robbery never happened, and Brian confessed that he made up the story because…you’d better sitting down for this…because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant where he works.

Brian was arrested and charged with Misuse of 911 and Knowingly Giving False Information to Law Enforcement.

On the bright side, Brian didn’t have to go to his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant.

This is almost a PB story

Quote

this incident happened last week in a town called Niceville, naturally. It happened when firefighters responded to a house fire, saw smoke coming from inside, and knocked on the door.

 
 
 

Out emerged a naked man who just responded with “I’m sorry” and closed the door. Sensing this naked man didn’t grasp the danger he was facing, firefighters detained the man for his safety.

The Daily News reported that the incident involved more colorful details: The man admitted to smoking weed and drinking two liters of vodka since 9 a.m. He decided to make cookies, which he attempted on his George Foreman Grill, but that soon caught fire. The naked, drunk, high, Florida man then placed towels on the grill to tamp down flames, but that soon caught fire as well. Firefighters said the naked, drunk, high, Florida man may have died from smoke inhalation if he stayed in house much longer.

 

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On 3/29/2019 at 5:53 PM, Rasputin22 said:

Deluxe version

Image result for shopping cart bbq grill

Something about the smoking plastic coating on the shopping cart disturbs me for some reason.....

Reminds me of the Venezuelan guy I had working for me on a construction job back in 1985..... He was kinda broke, so I let him stay on site, and if needed sleep under the sheathed in roof on rainy nights, instead of sleeping in his JEEP.

 One Friday he decided to cook me dinner..... He went out and bought what he thought looked like a great steak. A trimmed boneless London Broil..... He poked about a million holes in it with a fork, and let it marinate in beer all day.

 When it came time to cook....... He looked around for a grill. No grill. No problem! He "borrowed" the mason's wheel barrow, filled it up with newspaper, and cut offs of PT lumber, and then dumped a bag of charcoal brickettes on top and fired it up with a little gasoline. No grill grate. No problem! He took the unused bottom rack out of the refrigerator, and set that on the blaze to burn the plastic off before putting the steak on. Meanwhile he sliced up some green bananas, and hot peppers, and onions and set an aluminum frying pan on the fire filled with cooking oil. Somehow that didn't explode, and the pan didn't melt.

 He slapped that steak on the grill for 5 minutes each side until it was gray through and through.... Poured A-1 sauce on it and declared it done.

 The onions weren't bad.The steak was Budweiser flavored shoe leather. I thanked him, and went home. The next morning I got to the job early. My friend was frantic. I looked out back and the mason's wheel barrow was a still smoldering heap of charred rusty metal tub, and a wheel rim, and two blackened foot brackets.....

Seems he forgot to dump the fire before the rubber tire caught, and then of course the handles, and.....

 I bought the mason a new wheel barrow, and told my friend not to cook on site any more.

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6 minutes ago, Importunate Tom said:

Florida man pitches tent.

55847291_2244162278974398_25908072259455

On the Flint River in South Georgia people exit their boats at the sandbars.  The men drink beer, the children splash and the alligators are in plain sight.  I haven't heard of it ever being a problem.  Except when the DNR hide in the bushes to see if a drunk is going to try to pilot the boat or will let his wife.

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38 minutes ago, hasher said:

On the Flint River in South Georgia people exit their boats at the sandbars.  The men drink beer, the children splash and the alligators are in plain sight.  I haven't heard of it ever being a problem.  Except when the DNR hide in the bushes to see if a drunk is going to try to pilot the boat or will let his wife.

Lotta small dogs go missing at those sand bar parties....

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1 minute ago, Mrleft8 said:

Lotta small dogs go missing at those sand bar parties....

I've never liked those DNR guys, they take themselves too seriously, but you really think they steal small dogs?  It makes sense though, they are scared of big dogs.

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2 minutes ago, hasher said:

I've never liked those DNR guys, they take themselves too seriously, but you really think they steal small dogs?  It makes sense though, they are scared of big dogs.

I figured it was the Mexican immigrants stealing them for making taquitos.....

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1 minute ago, Snaggletooth said:

Do Notte Resussitatte guyes?

Dept. of Natural Resources..... AKA Water police.

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1 minute ago, Mrleft8 said:

Dept. of Natural Resources..... AKA Water police.

Rabbit Sheriff

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11 minutes ago, hasher said:

Rabbit Sheriff

Clam Cops

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Around here they're called "FWC" (Florida Wildlife Conservation) or "Florida Water Cops".....

 Pretty good guys in general. They have a job to do, and they do what they have to..... They don't make the rules, they just enforce them as leniently as they can w/o getting in trouble. Of course, if you're an asshole to them, they'll shoot your ass in a New York minute.

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1 minute ago, Mrleft8 said:

Around here they're called "FWC" (Florida Wildlife Conservation) or "Florida Water Cops".....

 Pretty good guys in general. They have a job to do, and they do what they have to..... They don't make the rules, they just enforce them as leniently as they can w/o getting in trouble. Of course, if you're an asshole to them, they'll shoot your ass in a New York minute.

The DNR here have had much of the wind taken out of their sails.  They can't take private property like they used to for misdemeanor violations and things like hunting over baited field have been legalized.  The Chief Deputy in one small county in West Georgia got cited for some innocuous thing he was doing on his own land.  Of course, many DNR are just good guys doing a job that's stable, keeps them outdoors, has good benefits and a nice retirement package.  Not anything wrong with having all of that.

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Now Post office cops have it all!

 No warrants, no probable cause, no nothing! They can just bust your door down and take it all.....! (Or so I've been told by my paranoid friends)

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1 hour ago, Mrleft8 said:

I figured it was the Mexican immigrants stealing them for making taquitos.....

*wow*...really?

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5 hours ago, Importunate Tom said:

Florida man pitches tent.

55847291_2244162278974398_25908072259455

image.png.1810d1ea0caec86ba0d254354a3863e0.png

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15 hours ago, Mrleft8 said:

Now Post office cops have it all!

 No warrants, no probable cause, no nothing! They can just bust your door down and take it all.....! (Or so I've been told by my paranoid friends)

Customs agents..   can have body cavity searches done without warrant

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34 minutes ago, TheUltimateSockPuppet said:

WTF

555CA9D9-83E6-47F5-B626-8775444B997B.jpeg

That one has to be a joke...... (i hope)

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35 minutes ago, TheUltimateSockPuppet said:

WTF

555CA9D9-83E6-47F5-B626-8775444B997B.jpeg

I thought all those "People of Walmart" pics were taken in Floriduh Walmarts.

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Looks like Ann Coulter...............

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2 hours ago, Mrleft8 said:

Looks like Ann Coulter...............

Yes, but who is she being stuffed into?

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2 minutes ago, Marcjsmith said:

for those that care,  the full video publicity stunt.  russians... </