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Shortforbob

empty nest adjustment disorder

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Mine both left home within 2 months of each other late last year.

Came home for a week at christmas.

I was OK. I had Boo.

Last night Liam took Boo for a visit at his place.

 

They both came over for dinner last night with 2 of their mates, that was nice. 

The house is so empty. It's weird.

What comes next?

I'm not exactly unhappy or lonely, just this weird sense that theres a void ahead, 

I can fill it up with hobbies, choir, book club, traveling, work on the house and garden, a couple of mornings at work, fix all the broken clocks, revarnish the furniture, go to antique auctions. 

but it;s so bloody quiet, The sensation that there;s no living thing in the house but me.

 

 

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Listen to Smooth Jazz; it will help some, with the silence.

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hmm not my cup of tea but point taken :)

It's not even the quiet,,the kids were usually in their rooms with headphones..it's a different kind of quiet. cant explain it.

a stillness.

I think its that for the first time in 40 years I've got nothing to look after or be aware of. not even the dog.

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Image result for funny empty nester images

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Image result for funny empty nester images

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14 minutes ago, More Cowbell2 said:

Image result for funny empty nester images

Hah, It's me was on the kids Netflix account. nothing worth watching anyway.

I'm used to having a house full of kids, sleeping overnight on the floor after a late D&D or warhammer session, having 4 extra for breakfast, running them all back and forward sometimes when the trains were out. 

It's nice they still come over with my kids for dinner sometimes but I feel like a ghost house :(

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Yeah, we are on the older sons account.

Daughter left for college a couple of year ago.  She is the last of three kids to go.  It is a different kind of quiet.  Sometimes a good thing, sometimes not.  That is when you go visit them.

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7 minutes ago, More Cowbell2 said:

Yeah, we are on the older sons account.

Daughter left for college a couple of year ago.  She is the last of three kids to go.  It is a different kind of quiet.  Sometimes a good thing, sometimes not.  That is when you go visit them.

They come here every week, sometimes with friends in tow. They're only a few KM away. But I'm not dropping in on their share houses...I'd have hated that. having to hide the bong, clean up, make sure there was evidence of food being cooked etc :D

I'll get used to it. It's harder for single parents I think...or maybe not.

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1 minute ago, Shortforbob said:

They come here every week, sometimes with friends in tow. They're only a few KM away. But I'm not dropping in on their share houses...I'd have hated that. having to hide the bong, clean up, make sure there was evidence of food being cooked etc :D

This is the time you can go to their place to leave the food out, drop dirty clothes on the floor in random areas, leave all the lights on at night, lose the remote, leave dishes on the coffee table and take their beer!  Enjoy it while you can!

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Just now, More Cowbell2 said:

This is the time you can go to their place to leave the food out, drop dirty clothes on the floor in random areas, leave all the lights on at night, lose the remote, leave dishes on the coffee table and take their beer!  Enjoy it while you can!

Hah!  I tried that shit when I went to visit my daughter.  I got a stern talking to.

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7 minutes ago, More Cowbell2 said:

This is the time you can go to their place to leave the food out, drop dirty clothes on the floor in random areas, leave all the lights on at night, lose the remote, leave dishes on the coffee table and take their beer!  Enjoy it while you can!

I suppose I could. My son is sharing with all the boys that spent weeks at my place ..but I have to say,,they were pretty good at cleaning up and never took my beer.

My place has always been sort of a halfway house for all of their friends, mats on the floor, piles of pillow and blankets, knocks on the door late when they got in trouble. Shit, they;ve all grown up at once.

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Just now, Ed Lada said:

Hah!  I tried that shit when I went to visit my daughter.  I got a stern talking to.

That is one of the true turning points in raising kids, when they say the same things to you that you said to them 20 years earlier.  You have raised her well!

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4 minutes ago, Shortforbob said:

I suppose I could. My son is sharing with all the boys that spent weeks at my place ..but I have to say,,they were pretty good at cleaning up and never took my beer.

When my daughter was at home her room was a mess, she left dirty dishes in the sink, dirty pans on the stove, and complained when we got after her to clean it up.

 

Then she moves into an apartment with three roommates.  She now complains at how they leave dirty dishes in the sink, on the stove, and do not clean up after themselves.

 

Ohhhh the irony.

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Just now, More Cowbell2 said:

When my daughter was at home her room was a mess, she left dirty dishes in the sink, dirty pans on the stove, and complained when we got after her to clean it up.

 

Then she moves into an apartment with three roommates.  She now complains at how they leave dirty dishes in the sink, on the stove, and do not clean up after themselves.

 

Ohhhh the irony.

too true. When my daughter comes home now, shes telling me how to load the dishwasher :D  It;s all good.

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Think back to yourself at their age... was hanging out at your parents home anywhere near the top of your list? 

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1 minute ago, BravoBravo said:

Think back to yourself at their age... was hanging out at your parents home anywhere near the top of your list? 

Whats that got to do with anything? of course not. I'm grateful and lucky that my kids actually like bringing their friends and their friend like to come.

we cooked a feast together last night ..it was fun.

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31 minutes ago, Shortforbob said:

My place has always been sort of a halfway house for all of their friends, mats on the floor, piles of pillow and blankets, knocks on the door late when they got in trouble. Shit, they;ve all grown up at once.

Ah geez...you hit a nerve.   Loved being a real-time Dad. 

So proud that my three kids and two step-kids are fully functioning, independent and happy adults.  But damn...I miss that part of my life.   I became a great short-order cook and was known for my vast quantities of good food on the fly.   "Daddy-Slop" they called it.   They and their friends stayed around a lot and were always polite and mostly neat.   

Also trying to figure out how to best fill that void.  Just hit me harder than I ever expected.

We keep threatening to get dogs and cats...tlll we visit friend with a dog and say "woah" not ready for that mess or responsibility just as yet.

I am volunteering more...maybe thats the ticket.   And yea, I can see doing it as a single parent would be real tough.   

 

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Oh, just wait for it........

 

.....Grandbabies.....

 

 

You can take them to play and play, fill 'em with sugar and preservatives, then leave 'em on the front stoop - ring the bell - then run away.

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2 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

On Kids

Mine both left home within 2 months of each other late last year.

Came home for a week at christmas.

I was OK. I had Boo.

Last night Liam took Boo for a visit at his place.

 

They both came over for dinner last night with 2 of their mates, that was nice. 

The house is so empty. It's weird.

What comes next?

I'm not exactly unhappy or lonely, just this weird sense that theres a void ahead, 

I can fill it up with hobbies, choir, book club, traveling, work on the house and garden, a couple of mornings at work, fix all the broken clocks, revarnish the furniture, go to antique auctions. 

but it;s so bloody quiet, The sensation that there;s no living thing in the house but me.

 

 

Very similar to moving out and leaving 3 dogs behind after a long marriage, its eerily quiet and does take some getting used to.  I still have a news channel on in the background as a minimum most of the time.........though saying that, complete quiet is quite nice every now and again.

No real advice, apart from embrace the change and the positives you get from it. ;)

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daughter is on her second year of school,  just the wife, me and two cats.  DD is close to home so we see her a lot,  but i miss having her around the house.

 

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just wait till they boomerang back, then you'll hate it...

 

A sailing friend had that happen to her... She was 77 at the time and junior... 55

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23 minutes ago, sail69 said:

 

We keep threatening to get dogs and cats...

 

just be careful not to go to far with that..............

Image result for empty nest funny pics

 

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3 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

On Kids

Mine both left home within 2 months of each other late last year.

Came home for a week at christmas.

I was OK. I had Boo.

Last night Liam took Boo for a visit at his place.

 

They both came over for dinner last night with 2 of their mates, that was nice. 

The house is so empty. It's weird.

What comes next?

I'm not exactly unhappy or lonely, just this weird sense that theres a void ahead, 

I can fill it up with hobbies, choir, book club, traveling, work on the house and garden, a couple of mornings at work, fix all the broken clocks, revarnish the furniture, go to antique auctions. 

but it;s so bloody quiet, The sensation that there;s no living thing in the house but me.

 

 

Cats. Lots and lots of cats.

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1 hour ago, atoyot said:

Oh, just wait for it........

 

.....Grandbabies.....

 

 

You can take them to play and play, fill 'em with sugar and preservatives, then leave 'em on the front stoop - ring the bell - then run away.

Grandkids are God’s reward for surviving parenthood.

My 2 and 5 year old granddaughters are the joy of my life.  At this point in their lives they think that grandpa is about the coolest thing around.  Got to keep that going as long as possible.  The 5 year old took her first sailboat ride last Summer, on an FJ.  

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We were thrilled when the nest emptied. It meant we raised them properly. They are contributors not takers. We did not "miss them" because we saw them occasionally and got to see them embark on the adventure that is life. We completely embraced the notion of the next chapter of our lives as a companion outlook to that pride and satisfaction. I suppose it's a little different because we had each other to head off into that next phase together, but the concept seems the same. I'd characterize it by saying wander happily to wherever/whatever your curiosity takes you. Some things will resonate and others will not. Now that you have considerably fewer responsibilities to others that aimless, curiosity driven, spontaneous exploration of "existence" is so precious you must be vigilant to not squander it. There is no "right path" there is only "your path". It will seem awkward at first but you'll get used to it......trust me.

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23 minutes ago, Point Break said:

We were thrilled when the nest emptied. It meant we raised them properly. They are contributors not takers. We did not "miss them" because we saw them occasionally and got to see them embark on the adventure that is life. We completely embraced the notion of the next chapter of our lives as a companion outlook to that pride and satisfaction. I suppose it's a little different because we had each other to head off into that next phase together, but the concept seems the same. I'd characterize it by saying wander happily to wherever/whatever your curiosity takes you. Some things will resonate and others will not. Now that you have considerably fewer responsibilities to others that aimless, curiosity driven, spontaneous exploration of "existence" is so precious you must be vigilant to not squander it. There is no "right path" there is only "your path". It will seem awkward at first but you'll get used to it......trust me.

That was thoughtful.

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2 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

They come here every week, sometimes with friends in tow. They're only a few KM away. But I'm not dropping in on their share houses...I'd have hated that. having to hide the bong, clean up, make sure there was evidence of food being cooked etc :D

I'll get used to it. It's harder for single parents I think...or maybe not.

smoke more weed

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2 hours ago, Marcjsmith said:

daughter is on her second year of school,  just the wife, me and two cats.  DD is close to home so we see her a lot,  but i miss having her around the house.

 

Yeah, #1 son is off the boat and working, and my daughter is a sophomore too. Talking about possible internships over the summer, which may keep her off the boat for the summer.

My wife and I have the advantage of having each other, we're not alone in the house/boat.We're spending a lot of time remembering why we got married all those years ago, and we're fine. We miss the kids, but we enjoy each other's company still so that works out.

It's not a shock though when a lot of couples find a stranger living in their suddenly-empty house. It can be a tough adjustment when you've centered your life on raising your kids and then - POOF - they're out.

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Change change change... or something pithy like that.

Just when you think its all sorted with your life, it all changes again.  Keeps things fresh IMHO

Buy a sports car or something silly.  (or boat?)

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1 minute ago, Windward said:

Change change change... or something pithy like that.

Just when you think its all sorted with your life, it all changes again.  Keeps things fresh IMHO

Buy a sports car or something silly.  (or boat?)

I don't want a pickle, I just want to drive my motorsicle.

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5 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

That's very true. But is it just mothers?

Mostly.

Fathers exist to kick them out of the nest - without them children would never leave home.

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4 hours ago, atoyot said:

Oh, just wait for it........

.....Grandbabies.....

You can take them to play and play, fill 'em with sugar and preservatives, then leave 'em on the front stoop - ring the bell - then run away.

One of the best bumper stickers ever;

"If I knew being a grandparent was this much fun I'd have done it first"

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7 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

On Kids

Mine both left home within 2 months of each other late last year.

Came home for a week at christmas.

I was OK. I had Boo.

Last night Liam took Boo for a visit at his place.

 

They both came over for dinner last night with 2 of their mates, that was nice. 

The house is so empty. It's weird.

What comes next?

I'm not exactly unhappy or lonely, just this weird sense that theres a void ahead, 

I can fill it up with hobbies, choir, book club, traveling, work on the house and garden, a couple of mornings at work, fix all the broken clocks, revarnish the furniture, go to antique auctions. 

but it;s so bloody quiet, The sensation that there;s no living thing in the house but me.

 

 

There were years when I was alone. At first it was strange and I do need social contact, but after a while I came to enjoy my time alone.

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We're finishing up the training and requirements to be foster parents, already made all the required changes to the house . There's just 2 of us now in a 5,000 sq ft home, plenty of empty bedrooms in Casa De Loser. We've told them we'll be amenable to siblings.

We still have a lot to offer, and there are a lot of kids in lousy situations. 

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33 minutes ago, Cruisin Loser said:

We still have a lot to offer, and there are a lot of kids in lousy situations. 

You and wife our nice peopel.                                                     :)

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Lots of sensible observations here :)

I think it's partly because their departure inadvertently coincided with my plan to retire and Liam taking Boo home.

Next week is my last working 5 days a week.

Even knowing Boo was in the house provided another living presence.

I've got plenty of things to do. Hosting 2 kids from Zimbabwe for a couple of days in April. Turning man caves into guestrooms :D

The joy of having the kitchen clean and tidy is a mixed blessing. symbol of singledom on one hand, pleasure to wake up to on the other.

I just hope Liam doesn't steal the dog "permanently" I'd like to get another dog and a cat except  when Boo inevitably returns home, she'd eat them. :)

and yes leroy, this probably has something to do with my smoking lapse.

 

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9 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

What comes next?

Invite some hobos over your place, let them sleep on the floor. You'll get over that whole empty-nest emotion pretty quick.

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26 minutes ago, Shortforbob said:

I think it's partly because their departure inadvertently coincided with my plan to retire and Liam taking Boo home.

Next week is my last working 5 days a week.

Even knowing Boo was in the house provided another living presence..........

and yes leroy, this probably has something to do with my smoking lapse.

 

^^^^^ This.  Lots of things all happening at once.

Do you have long term projects for retirement? Short term ones don’t give as much sense of purpose and belonging.

Leave you kitchen in a mess...

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2 hours ago, Cruisin Loser said:

We're finishing up the training and requirements to be foster parents, already made all the required changes to the house .

Good for you two but a couple of questions;

1. What are "all the required changes to the house" and why were they necessary?

2. Aren't you kind of old to be foster parents? I believe here there is an upper age limit to start well before 60. Hell, you have to get a doctors note here to give blood for the first time after age 60 let alone to take on kids.

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17 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Good for you two but a couple of questions;

1. What are "all the required changes to the house" and why were they necessary?

2. Aren't you kind of old to be foster parents? I believe here there is an upper age limit to start well before 60. Hell, you have to get a doctors note here to give blood for the first time after age 60 let alone to take on kids.

1. We have a pool with direct access from 7 doors leading outside. They required keyed deadbolt locks pretty high up on each door. We also had no locking medicine cabinets, and a few other things. Minor, it cost a total of a couple of $K. Part of that was making sure that all changes were sympathetic to a one-off architect designed home. There was a concern (on the part of the inspectors) about the original artwork and custom guitars/vintage 1950's tube amps, mostly out of concern for possible damage. We raised our own children without those ever being problems.

2. Isn't that ageist? :)  Short answer, no. there was never even a question. Beside, Beth and I are both in excellent shape for our age. I still ski double blacks at Taos and the equivalent Heli-skiing in BC. Beth was a ballet major in college, and taught until about 10 years ago. She is still in great shape.

Actually, the agency has been incredibly supportive. We're doing this through High Sky Children's Ranch https://www.highsky.org/ where we have been donors for decades, so the people know us, and seem thrilled that we're willing to open our home to foster kids. They've assured us that we will be able to take the kids skiing and sailing, which is pretty cool. There's nothing like kids on a sailboat.

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Sounds like the kids will be going from extremely bad to as good as it gets.

Kudos to you both - you should make a real difference in some otherwise damaged lives.

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Can't believe nobody has asked this question yet...

Does that mean you're going to be on here even more now? :P:lol:

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14 hours ago, Shortforbob said:

On Kids

Mine both left home within 2 months of each other late last year.

Came home for a week at christmas.

I was OK. I had Boo.

Last night Liam took Boo for a visit at his place.

 

They both came over for dinner last night with 2 of their mates, that was nice. 

The house is so empty. It's weird.

What comes next?

I'm not exactly unhappy or lonely, just this weird sense that theres a void ahead, 

I can fill it up with hobbies, choir, book club, traveling, work on the house and garden, a couple of mornings at work, fix all the broken clocks, revarnish the furniture, go to antique auctions. 

but it;s so bloody quiet, The sensation that there;s no living thing in the house but me.

 

 

I meditate naked on the deck while doing half assed old man yoga stoned and try to convince my wife to join me so I can oil her up and shave her pudendum. But thats just me.

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We miss the kids, but we don't miss their habits.  It is fine to have them come visit for short periods, but we don't really want them to stay too long at this point. 

Currently remodelling the house to rent out their bedrooms.  We are looking at getting a couple of uni students in - good source of retirement income and not too much hassle.  We road-tested the idea last summer with a sailing instructor who was hired to our yacht club from out of town.  She was nice and it worked out well.  

If you aren't territorial, don't care too much about absolute privacy, and could use a bit of extra income, go for it.  

Ultimately we will put a suite in the lower floor of our two-story house and rent that out.  We are just discussing whether that should be sooner rather than later.

 

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9 hours ago, Sidecar said:

^^^^^ This.  Lots of things all happening at once.

Do you have long term projects for retirement? Short term ones don’t give as much sense of purpose and belonging.

Leave you kitchen in a mess...

Yeah, I'm pretty heavily involved with a good choir so we rehearse once a week and do a couple of gigs a month as well as social outings to vineyards, workshops and such.

book club once a month too.

I'm also re creating my workshop and will maybe take on a little restoration work after I've fixed all my own stuff.

Planning on doing a clock mending course too.

And I'll still be at the library two mornings a week. 

And if the weather actually improves I might even take up sailing again :D

Planning a weekly feast for the kids, wandering Victoria market at 6am to get ingredients for some exotic recipes

I like taking road trips too and will plan a few months overseas holiday maybe in september to Japan to tour the potteries and flea markets.

I've got heaps of things to do now I've a little extra cash.

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4 hours ago, Rain Man said:

We miss the kids, but we don't miss their habits.  It is fine to have them come visit for short periods, but we don't really want them to stay too long at this point. 

Currently remodelling the house to rent out their bedrooms.  We are looking at getting a couple of uni students in - good source of retirement income and not too much hassle.  We road-tested the idea last summer with a sailing instructor who was hired to our yacht club from out of town.  She was nice and it worked out well.  

If you aren't territorial, don't care too much about absolute privacy, and could use a bit of extra income, go for it.  

Ultimately we will put a suite in the lower floor of our two-story house and rent that out.  We are just discussing whether that should be sooner rather than later.

 

I'll let them get settled as adults with jobs before I rent out their rooms

. but that's sort of the plan for when im a bit older. I can convert the whole of the upstairs into a separate two bedroom student apt with bathroom and kitchen,  Don't want the hassle right now.

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Works for me. :D

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9 hours ago, Chris in Santa Cruz, CA said:

I meditate naked on the deck while doing half assed old man yoga stoned and try to convince my wife to join me so I can oil her up and shave her pudendum. But thats just me.

Damn, I think I am doing this retirement thing all wrong.  

What kind of oil?  Asking for a friend.

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4 hours ago, Ed Lada said:

Damn, I think I am doing this retirement thing all wrong.  

What kind of oil?  Asking for a friend.

90 wgt gear oil

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3 hours ago, jerseyguy said:

90 wgt gear oil

Um, I don't think that's right.

But if it works for you, who am I to judge.

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After a while you get used to a new day to day life.  And if you've been a decent parent they do reconnect as adults, and sometimes even pick up the bar tab, greens fee,  etc.

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On 1/22/2020 at 7:26 AM, jerseyguy said:

Grandkids are God’s reward for surviving parenthood.

My 2 and 5 year old granddaughters are the joy of my life.  At this point in their lives they think that grandpa is about the coolest thing around.  Got to keep that going as long as possible.  The 5 year old took her first sailboat ride last Summer, on an FJ.  

 

On 1/22/2020 at 10:19 AM, SloopJonB said:

One of the best bumper stickers ever;

"If I knew being a grandparent was this much fun I'd have done it first"

Do you know why Grandparents and Grandkids get along so well?

 

They both hate the same person!

 

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8 hours ago, jerseyguy said:

90 wgt gear oil

You're supposed to take the transmission out of the tub before she gets in.

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2 hours ago, NaptimeAgain said:

After a while you get used to a new day to day life.  And if you've been a decent parent they do reconnect as adults, and sometimes even pick up the bar tab, greens fee,  etc.

Our just did Christmas dinner for the first time.

A whole new phase of our lives. :D

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51 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

You're supposed to take the transmission out of the tub before she gets in.

Learn something new every day.  Thanks

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51 minutes ago, SloopJonB said:

Our just did Christmas dinner for the first time.

A whole new phase of our lives. :D

A bit off topic but——- after years of my mother-in-law hosting Thanksgiving, my wife decided to give mom a break and take it over. Dinner goes well.  So I’m in the kitchen doing dishes and my wife is busy wrapping up leftovers for her siblings and our kids.  Right in the middle of it she stops and says “Oh my God.”  I thought she had a heart attack or cut herself.  Then she says “I’ve become my mother.”

 

 

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8 hours ago, jerseyguy said:

A bit off topic but——- after years of my mother-in-law hosting Thanksgiving, my wife decided to give mom a break and take it over. Dinner goes well.  So I’m in the kitchen doing dishes and my wife is busy wrapping up leftovers for her siblings and our kids.  Right in the middle of it she stops and says “Oh my God.”  I thought she had a heart attack or cut herself.  Then she says “I’ve become my mother.”

 

 

In the Oscar WIlde play, The Importance of Being Earnest, one of the characters says "“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

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On 1/23/2020 at 1:01 AM, atoyot said:

Oh, just wait for it........

 

.....Grandbabies.....

 

 

You can take them to play and play, fill 'em with sugar and preservatives, then leave 'em on the front stoop - ring the bell - then run away.

Got the first one due soon.

My, I'm looking forward to some revenge on my daughter..... wonder if a battery powered chainsaw would be an acceptable present in a few years.....

FKT

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On 1/23/2020 at 8:00 PM, Zonker said:

You need a big sailboat project

No, eventually you finish it.

Of course, you just *know* that you could do it better the second time around.

FKT

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26 minutes ago, Fah Kiew Tu said:

Got the first one due soon.

My, I'm looking forward to some revenge on my daughter..... wonder if a battery powered chainsaw would be an acceptable present in a few years.....

FKT

drum kit...

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32 minutes ago, Fah Kiew Tu said:

Got the first one due soon.

My, I'm looking forward to some revenge on my daughter..... wonder if a battery powered chainsaw would be an acceptable present in a few years.....

FKT

My 2 year old cousin already has a .410 shotgun, in left or right handed (just in case) options from his grandfather. :P

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On 1/22/2020 at 2:47 PM, Cruisin Loser said:

We're finishing up the training and requirements to be foster parents, already made all the required changes to the house . There's just 2 of us now in a 5,000 sq ft home, plenty of empty bedrooms in Casa De Loser. We've told them we'll be amenable to siblings.

We still have a lot to offer, and there are a lot of kids in lousy situations. 

Kudos to you. We were fostering kids for a few years, and then adopted our two youngest. Next time we will have to confront empty nest syndrome will be in our seventies. 

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On 1/22/2020 at 7:53 AM, Shortforbob said:

That's very true. But is it just mothers?

Nope.  

We are smack in the middle.  Son is a Junior in college and has the next few years fairly well mapped out with internships and (likely) employment.  Of course, things could change.  daughter a Senior in HS and will decided in the next few months which college/university offer to accept.  We took a trip this Winter as a family, as you never know when the last time you can do so will have passed.  It was wonderful to be together, just the four of us.  My wife and I are already feeling the loss of the little ones who needed us.  We are also proud of the young adults they've grown into, with independence and self-assurance.

Over the past few months, my wife and I have intentionally dated, going out at least once a week, to rediscover those parts of us and our personal relationship that were set aside to focus on the children.  Dinner, a show, coffee, movie - just the two of us.  I hope she continues to find me as attractive and desirable as I do her.

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2 hours ago, LenP said:

Kudos to you. We were fostering kids for a few years, and then adopted our two youngest. Next time we will have to confront empty nest syndrome will be in our seventies. 

Oh no, kudos to you. That's kind of the result we're hoping for.

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6 hours ago, Ed Lada said:

In the Oscar WIlde play, The Importance of Being Earnest, one of the characters says "“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

My MIL was a truly wonderful person. One day she told my wife that if we ever got divorced she was going to get custody of me. I hope I absorbed some of her qualities.  My mother? Not so much.

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If you want some excitement, you could get a local cocktail waitress pregnant...

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On 1/23/2020 at 3:47 AM, Ed Lada said:

Damn, I think I am doing this retirement thing all wrong.  

What kind of oil?  Asking for a friend.

Dr Bronners pure coconut oil

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23 minutes ago, Chris in Santa Cruz, CA said:

Dr Bronners pure coconut oil

Thanks, I'll pass that on.

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15 hours ago, Ed Lada said:

In the Oscar WIlde play, The Importance of Being Earnest, one of the characters says "“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

A friend said long ago "If you want to know what a woman will become, look at her mother".

Boy was he right.

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1 hour ago, SloopJonB said:

A friend said long ago "If you want to know what a woman will become, look at her mother".

Boy was he right.

Maybe my wife is the exception that proves the rule but she's been (justifiably) mortified by her mother since she was a teen. My wife's temperament is spookily like her Dad's, which suits me just fine as he's one of the finest people I've ever known.

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On 1/24/2020 at 3:35 AM, Ed Lada said:

In the Oscar WIlde play, The Importance of Being Earnest, one of the characters says "“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”

Wonderful quote, and absolutely true in my case. While I've (over) compensated for my father's weaknesses, I have little of his charm, wit, or ability to regale for hours with one incredible story after another. He pretty much lost it all in the S&L crisis and my entire adulthood has been an overly conservative attempt to avoid a similar fate. But at this point, I'd trade a little security for some of his adventures. (Been doing better these last few years, though).  On a positive note, I did inherit my mom's love for cooking and entertaining friends!

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22 minutes ago, On The Hard said:

Wonderful quote, and absolutely true in my case. While I've (over) compensated for my father's weaknesses, I have little of his charm, wit, or ability to regale for hours with one incredible story after another. He pretty much lost it all in the S&L crisis and my entire adulthood has been an overly conservative attempt to avoid a similar fate. But at this point, I'd trade a little security for some of his adventures. (Been doing better these last few years, though).  On a positive note, I did inherit my mom's love for cooking and entertaining friends!

Sounds like that should end with "But I quickly bore them". :D;)

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