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    • UnderDawg

      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.
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Heaven can wait

Sailing Anarchists Affected by Cancer

3,252 posts in this topic

I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum for this but really this is the only thread on SA that I feel a part of....

 

So, I know I mentioned the passing of a dear friend of mine about a week ago....

His name was rcrdplyr. lol. I mean, really his name was Jaik Miller. He was a wonderful person but also an incredibly gifted singer/songwriter who was part of the nyc music scene for over 25 years!

We had guitar picks printed in time for his service that said JAIK LOVES YOU as a tribute...

Aside from all the other great songs he wrote over the years, here is an awesome little rocker performed by him solo acoustic. Its brought me great joy groovin to it the past 10 days.

Its called "my name is rcrdplyr" and I really hope y'all like it! I'm sending this out to the strugglers, the caregivers, the survivors and the survived. JAIK LOVES YOU

 

 

PEACE STRENGTH & LOVE

Dan

 

JAIK has also has downloaded part of himself into the web. Musicians are so ahead of the curve. This time, possibly in the Gibsonian sense...

 

He is shared. He has shared.

 

Peace out, Dan.

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Just popping in for a bump.

This thread needs to stay top of page and top of mind.

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Just popping in for a bump.

This thread needs to stay top of page and top of mind.

+ many!

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Peace, Dan. Thanks for sharing that.

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I've always avoided reading this thread on purpose. I started reading today and felt differently in a good way . It's inspirational. I thought it might feel good to purge myself of what I'm going through. My world has changed now over the last 6 weeks. I don't have cancer but it's a serious situation. I'm 1/4 of the way done with a new drug therapy to cure my hepc virus. I was born with a birth defect in my heart and had a successful cutting edge open heart surgery when I was 4 years old. Before the operation I was not expected to live passed 16. Jump forward 40 some odd years. I was dealing with a blown disk in my lower back for 5 pain filled years and I elect for a spinal fusion after I couldn't take the pain any more. I find out before surgery I test positive for hepc virus. The virus is probably a result of the open heart surgery blood transfusions when I was 4 years old. The Dr said my body had fought the virus pretty well for that many years on its own. It usually takes half that time to cause serious health issues. Left untreated hepc eventually will lead to liver failure or cancer. when I found out I had the hepc 3 years ago my treatment options were bleak. 48 months of treatment with about a 30% chance of cure rate with my genotype. My Doctor told me to wait for a better treatment to come around. I waited and found one that the FDA released in the US last year. We set it up to start in January of this year due to insurance deductibles etc. After 3 weeks figuring out the insurance bs I finally got started. The first 3 weeks were tolerable. Week 4 my blood counts dumped off. I am self employed and had to pull the plug on my business because I can't physically work no less remember much any more (brain fog). The sx from the drugs are super powerful. I take about 15 or 20 pills a day. Half of them are just to counter react the sx of the 3 main drugs. About $6500 to $7000 per week for the first 12 weeks and about a 1/3 of that for another 12 weeks. Glad I have insurance! I have about 16 different side effects from the drugs. The hardest one for me is the nausea and keeping from throwing up. It's imperative for me not to throw up my doses because the virus can mutate if they are not present. I only have one shot at this therapy. They will not do it again because the virus will mutate and become immune. All of this leads to anxiety some some days are really tough. By the grace of God I've only lost 2 doses in 6 weeks. It's kind of mind over matter at times. The other main problem is my bodies lack of heat regulation. I'm either shivering or burning up. When I burn up I get heat rash and my body itches all over followed up with a 4 or 5 hour migraine. The good news is these bouts do pass with time and you do get a reprieve. The sx cycles as I inject my interferon. I inject on Friday so I may 2 or 3 days of hell pay for it.

The good news is I had my viral loads tested at week 4. The drugs are working I started at a vl 800,000 now I'm at 7 or what they call undetectable. I noticed my liver pain is about gone too. . This week I have been experimenting with ginger tea for the nausea. So far It's helped a lot. Everything is day to day. Through all this I feel truly blessed to have good family and friends help me out. I've spent more time with my wife and have gotten to know her on a deeper level. On a spiritual level I've got to reflect back on my life. I have survived heart surgery a mysterious 3 year illness in the 90's back fusion and hip replacement all within 3 months. God has been faithful to me I think he wants me around a little longer. That news keeps me motivated to carry on another 18 weeks.

Thanks for letting me vent.

John

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I've always avoided reading this thread on purpose. I started reading today and felt differently in a good way . It's inspirational. I thought it might feel good to purge myself of what I'm going through. My world has changed now over the last 6 weeks. I don't have cancer but it's a serious situation. I'm 1/4 of the way done with a new drug therapy to cure my hepc virus. I was born with a birth defect in my heart and had a successful cutting edge open heart surgery when I was 4 years old. Before the operation I was not expected to live passed 16. Jump forward 40 some odd years. I was dealing with a blown disk in my lower back for 5 pain filled years and I elect for a spinal fusion after I couldn't take the pain any more. I find out before surgery I test positive for hepc virus. The virus is probably a result of the open heart surgery blood transfusions when I was 4 years old. The Dr said my body had fought the virus pretty well for that many years on its own. It usually takes half that time to cause serious health issues. Left untreated hepc eventually will lead to liver failure or cancer. when I found out I had the hepc 3 years ago my treatment options were bleak. 48 months of treatment with about a 30% chance of cure rate with my genotype. My Doctor told me to wait for a better treatment to come around. I waited and found one that the FDA released in the US last year. We set it up to start in January of this year due to insurance deductibles etc. After 3 weeks figuring out the insurance bs I finally got started. The first 3 weeks were tolerable. Week 4 my blood counts dumped off. I am self employed and had to pull the plug on my business because I can't physically work no less remember much any more (brain fog). The sx from the drugs are super powerful. I take about 15 or 20 pills a day. Half of them are just to counter react the sx of the 3 main drugs. About $6500 to $7000 per week for the first 12 weeks and about a 1/3 of that for another 12 weeks. Glad I have insurance! I have about 16 different side effects from the drugs. The hardest one for me is the nausea and keeping from throwing up. It's imperative for me not to throw up my doses because the virus can mutate if they are not present. I only have one shot at this therapy. They will not do it again because the virus will mutate and become immune. All of this leads to anxiety some some days are really tough. By the grace of God I've only lost 2 doses in 6 weeks. It's kind of mind over matter at times. The other main problem is my bodies lack of heat regulation. I'm either shivering or burning up. When I burn up I get heat rash and my body itches all over followed up with a 4 or 5 hour migraine. The good news is these bouts do pass with time and you do get a reprieve. The sx cycles as I inject my interferon. I inject on Friday so I may 2 or 3 days of hell pay for it.

The good news is I had my viral loads tested at week 4. The drugs are working I started at a vl 800,000 now I'm at 7 or what they call undetectable. I noticed my liver pain is about gone too. . This week I have been experimenting with ginger tea for the nausea. So far It's helped a lot. Everything is day to day. Through all this I feel truly blessed to have good family and friends help me out. I've spent more time with my wife and have gotten to know her on a deeper level. On a spiritual level I've got to reflect back on my life. I have survived heart surgery a mysterious 3 year illness in the 90's back fusion and hip replacement all within 3 months. God has been faithful to me I think he wants me around a little longer. That news keeps me motivated to carry on another 18 weeks.

Thanks for letting me vent.

John

 

Thank You John for sharing you experience, history like you make me fight hard and stay positive, after six section of R-CHOP and maybe some Radiation I should be as good or close to before this Crazy night mare call Cancer.

 

Namaste :)

 

Mario.

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Hang in there, John. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself because of my disabled knee, someone like you comes along. Thanks for sharing your story. Heal well and fast.

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Thanks for the kind words. Today I'm going on a little drive with my sister to West Glacier Park. She is an inspiration to me because she is a Mantle cell lymphoma stage 4 cancer survivor. She knows exactly how I feel and its nice to have someone like that to talk to. We talk about chemo and my therapy. She said most get very very focused on the day to day hour to hour how they will combat the sx from the drugs etc. I found my life getting very simple after a while too. I just focus on staying as comfortable as possible and look forward to a cure in the end.

I am about half way done with a new boat I've been dreaming about building for a few years. I can't work on it much anymore but It gives me something to look forward to. There is a term know amongst hepc folks called Slaying the Dragon. That means you battle through therapy and beat the virus. If I can achieve that I may just have to name the new boat Slayer.

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Ya know Catherine, when (and you will) beat this thing, we need to plan a hell-of-a-party. A giant SA bash celebration! We'll have to rent someplace huge...maybe find a couple beer/rum sponsors. Just so you can finally meet all those around the globe who truly care about you, and want to celebrate you beating this thing! So just keep fighting...

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Thanks for the kind words. Today I'm going on a little drive with my sister to West Glacier Park. She is an inspiration to me because she is a Mantle cell lymphoma stage 4 cancer survivor. She knows exactly how I feel and its nice to have someone like that to talk to. We talk about chemo and my therapy. She said most get very very focused on the day to day hour to hour how they will combat the sx from the drugs etc. I found my life getting very simple after a while too. I just focus on staying as comfortable as possible and look forward to a cure in the end.

I am about half way done with a new boat I've been dreaming about building for a few years. I can't work on it much anymore but It gives me something to look forward to. There is a term know amongst hepc folks called Slaying the Dragon. That means you battle through therapy and beat the virus. If I can achieve that I may just have to name the new boat Slayer.

 

Suggestion: in order to avoid confusion with a metal band (Slayer) or a cheesy movie (Dragon Slayer) perhaps you could research the name of a mythical dragon slayer and name your boat that.

 

It might make for good conversation.

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Damn John

 

Sorry to hear this.

 

So will you be missing the AC at Ivanpah? That sucks.

 

I'll be M.I.A. because of rotator cuff surgery on March 21. That sucks too.

 

Best of Luck Man, Stay strong.

 

 

 

NOTE:

 

To all SA Racing Schlubbs

 

John's boat is WAY WAY faster than yours. :D

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Hi John, Welcome to our thread. There are some great people hanging around here.

 

I am glad you have your sister. Reading your story reminded me of my chemo, ugh. I had forgotten some of the gritty days. The up side is there is a tomorrow. I know two people with Hep C who have gone through therapy, although I do not think it was the same as yours. They will have to take medication for the rest of their lives but they have every reason to believe all will be well. The hard part for them was to complete the entire treatment.

 

Hang in there and visit this thread often. There is a lot of hope, prayers and inspiration here.

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I'm so bummed I can't race this year. That regatta is the highlight of my year. Next year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Damn John

 

Sorry to hear this.

 

So will you be missing the AC at Ivanpah? That sucks.

 

I'll be M.I.A. because of rotator cuff surgery on March 21. That sucks too.

 

Best of Luck Man, Stay strong.

 

 

 

NOTE:

 

To all SA Racing Schlubbs

 

John's boat is WAY WAY faster than yours. :D

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I'm so bummed I can't race this year. That regatta is the highlight of my year. Next year!

 

 

 

 

So what's the story on the new boat?

 

Or is that still classified TOP SECRET :unsure:

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I'm building up a class 2 boat to compete in the Worlds in 2014 at Smith Creek. None of my other boats meet the class criteria for FISLY classes. It's going to be the biggest dirtboat I've ever made with a solid wing on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so bummed I can't race this year. That regatta is the highlight of my year. Next year!

 

 

 

 

So what's the story on the new boat?

 

Or is that still classified TOP SECRET :unsure:

post-22056-075374900 1331343140_thumb.jpg

post-22056-054154500 1331343577_thumb.jpg

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Still alive. Update by tonight. I promise. Been the hardest month so far : worse than the cancer, ostomy, surgery, port placement without anesthesia and the chemo.

 

And somehow, I have found my strength again.

 

I WILL BEAT THIS!!!!! NO FUCKING WAY IS IT GOING TO TAKE ME>

 

so just ada sabar for awhile longer folks, ada sabar.

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Still alive. Update by tonight. I promise. Been the hardest month so far : worse than the cancer, ostomy, surgery, port placement without anesthesia and the chemo.

 

And somehow, I have found my strength again.

 

I WILL BEAT THIS!!!!! NO FUCKING WAY IS IT GOING TO TAKE ME>

 

so just ada sabar for awhile longer folks, ada sabar.

 

I've got your back, Catherine. Call any time. Seriously!

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Still alive. Update by tonight. I promise. Been the hardest month so far : worse than the cancer, ostomy, surgery, port placement without anesthesia and the chemo.

 

And somehow, I have found my strength again.

 

I WILL BEAT THIS!!!!! NO FUCKING WAY IS IT GOING TO TAKE ME>

 

so just ada sabar for awhile longer folks, ada sabar.

 

you go Catherine, you are a inspiration to all of Us...

 

Mario

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MSG sending my thoughts of strength endurance and healing your way.

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I had a pretty good days last week. The nights were a different story. One of the side effects is dryness bloody nose and dry coughing. I haven't gotten much sleep because of it. Going in for chest xray today to make sure it's not something else. My blood levels are still dropping. Getting even weaker. I may need a transfusion if they keep dropping. My sister and brother in law got me out of the house on Friday. We drove to West Glacier Park. I t was nice. The next day I drove to my folks house on the lake. I enjoy fishing so I thought I would wet a hook off the rock beach. By the fourth cast my arms were spent and I took a rest. 2 casts later I hooked a dream fish. It took 10 minutes to land I was pumped full of adrenaline and totally spent. I sent it back in so someone else could enjoy catching him. 42'' lake trout.

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post-22056-077960800 1331572356_thumb.jpg

post-22056-055358400 1331572378_thumb.jpg

post-22056-092570000 1331572419_thumb.jpg

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I had a pretty good days last week. The nights were a different story. One of the side effects is dryness bloody nose and dry coughing. I haven't gotten much sleep because of it. Going in for chest xray today to make sure it's not something else. My blood levels are still dropping. Getting even weaker. I may need a transfusion if they keep dropping. My sister and brother in law got me out of the house on Friday. We drove to West Glacier Park. I t was nice. The next day I drove to my folks house on the lake. I enjoy fishing so I thought I would wet a hook off the rock beach. By the fourth cast my arms were spent and I took a rest. 2 casts later I hooked a dream fish. It took 10 minutes to land I was pumped full of adrenaline and totally spent. I sent it back in so someone else could enjoy catching him. 42'' lake trout.

 

Awesome photos, and fantastic to hear that you had a great day. Glacier is one of the coolest places ever! Hang in there!

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Keep fighting C, remember, it's all good in the end and if it isn't good, it must not be the end.

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I had a pretty good days last week. The nights were a different story. One of the side effects is dryness bloody nose and dry coughing. I haven't gotten much sleep because of it. Going in for chest xray today to make sure it's not something else. My blood levels are still dropping. Getting even weaker. I may need a transfusion if they keep dropping. My sister and brother in law got me out of the house on Friday. We drove to West Glacier Park. I t was nice. The next day I drove to my folks house on the lake. I enjoy fishing so I thought I would wet a hook off the rock beach. By the fourth cast my arms were spent and I took a rest. 2 casts later I hooked a dream fish. It took 10 minutes to land I was pumped full of adrenaline and totally spent. I sent it back in so someone else could enjoy catching him. 42'' lake trout.

 

Awesome photos, and fantastic to hear that you had a great day. Glacier is one of the coolest places ever! Hang in there!

+1

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<br />Adding Maureen & Dan's son Trent to this list. If I'm not mistaken, that's SAers Mr & Mrs "Rockhead"<br /><br />Glad to hear they caught it and the prognosis is good. <br /><br />Lots of good thoughts and prayers headed out to the three of you<br />

Thanks Bowgirl.

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Step one of the "Three F's" per Mrs. RockHead's sports psychologist. Step 2 is "Fix it" That's already begun, with the surgery to remove the golf ball sized tumor from the Little Rock's head. Chemo will start in about 3 weeks. We got the initial details on the that from the Ped-Oncologist today. I'm sure there will be more shitty crap that I won't want to hear, but will. Step 3 is "Forget it" I'm looking forward to that, 5 years from now when he's officially a survivor. Fuck that, he became a survivor the minute the surgery was complete.

 

I can't tell you how shocked I was, when I checked into SA for the first time this week, unable to sleep while lying on the parent bed in the PICU, to see the quote from Nick on the front page. I never expected to see that here, but Dawg is a buddy of ours. Cancer took one of my best sailing buddies, Michael Byrnes, on the eve of the US Sailing Paralympic Trails that Maureen & Nick won to punch their tickets to the Games. He fought a good fight -not once, but twice. I felt he was watching over them during the Trials. One of our other best friends has a now 14 year old, Julia, 5 1/2 years post leukemia diagnosis. She was with us when the Ped-Onc delivered the initial report.

 

The Little Rock is going to show us how to be strong, I'm quite certain. Statistics suck, we're going to beat this fucking thing, he's too special to imagine anything else. Our current thinking is that Maureen will still go to China. We decided we need to continue to LIVE, as an example to him, and his big sister. I'm at peace that I won't be there to cheer her on in person, I'll be with him. I told Maureen that she'll simply have to plan on winning the Paralympic Trials for 2012, so he can be there to watch her win her second gold medal, like his sister will be to see the first one!

 

I've worn the LiveSTRONG bracelet for years, in a sign of support for Mike, Julia and others. On Wednesday, I looked at it and realized I had always worn it with the lettering facing out, for others. I turned it around, and read the words with an entirely different emphasis. LIVE. strong.

 

Fuck cancer, I'm keeping my son.

 

RockHead,

We don't know you from a bargepole, but we have followed your trials mate, and all the others here too, whilst we're all quiet we have been rooting in the stands for you over the last few years. That's simply great news.

Looking at your sons percentile charts made me go back and find your original post, it is good to see that it is possible to fight this bastard disease. I wonder how much of this success was due to the love and efforts from his parents, I suspect an awful lot.

HCW,

If you don't do anything else in life, this thread is a tribute to humanity and all the tribulations that go with it. This is something really special, not just for SA but in the real world too.

 

Someone should capture this thread into a book and have a copy in every cancer ward in the country, it would be a runaway hit. Donate all the proceeds to an SA selected charity supporting cancer and similar life altering diseases.

Thanks for sharing.

SB

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<br />Adding Maureen & Dan's son Trent to this list. If I'm not mistaken, that's SAers Mr & Mrs "Rockhead"<br /><br />Glad to hear they caught it and the prognosis is good. <br /><br />Lots of good thoughts and prayers headed out to the three of you<br />

Thanks Bowgirl.

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Step one of the "Three F's" per Mrs. RockHead's sports psychologist. Step 2 is "Fix it" That's already begun, with the surgery to remove the golf ball sized tumor from the Little Rock's head. Chemo will start in about 3 weeks. We got the initial details on the that from the Ped-Oncologist today. I'm sure there will be more shitty crap that I won't want to hear, but will. Step 3 is "Forget it" I'm looking forward to that, 5 years from now when he's officially a survivor. Fuck that, he became a survivor the minute the surgery was complete.

 

I can't tell you how shocked I was, when I checked into SA for the first time this week, unable to sleep while lying on the parent bed in the PICU, to see the quote from Nick on the front page. I never expected to see that here, but Dawg is a buddy of ours. Cancer took one of my best sailing buddies, Michael Byrnes, on the eve of the US Sailing Paralympic Trails that Maureen & Nick won to punch their tickets to the Games. He fought a good fight -not once, but twice. I felt he was watching over them during the Trials. One of our other best friends has a now 14 year old, Julia, 5 1/2 years post leukemia diagnosis. She was with us when the Ped-Onc delivered the initial report.

 

The Little Rock is going to show us how to be strong, I'm quite certain. Statistics suck, we're going to beat this fucking thing, he's too special to imagine anything else. Our current thinking is that Maureen will still go to China. We decided we need to continue to LIVE, as an example to him, and his big sister. I'm at peace that I won't be there to cheer her on in person, I'll be with him. I told Maureen that she'll simply have to plan on winning the Paralympic Trials for 2012, so he can be there to watch her win her second gold medal, like his sister will be to see the first one!

 

I've worn the LiveSTRONG bracelet for years, in a sign of support for Mike, Julia and others. On Wednesday, I looked at it and realized I had always worn it with the lettering facing out, for others. I turned it around, and read the words with an entirely different emphasis. LIVE. strong.

 

Fuck cancer, I'm keeping my son.

 

RockHead,

We don't know you from a bargepole, but we have followed your trials mate, and all the others here too, whilst we're all quiet we have been rooting in the stands for you over the last few years. That's simply great news.

Looking at your sons percentile charts made me go back and find your original post, it is good to see that it is possible to fight this bastard disease. I wonder how much of this success was due to the love and efforts from his parents, I suspect an awful lot.

HCW,

If you don't do anything else in life, this thread is a tribute to humanity and all the tribulations that go with it. This is something really special, not just for SA but in the real world too.

 

Someone should capture this thread into a book and have a copy in every cancer ward in the country, it would be a runaway hit. Donate all the proceeds to an SA selected charity supporting cancer and similar life altering diseases.

Thanks for sharing.

SB

 

+ 1 million

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Part of the latest, will be continued. Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and love. Things are never as bad as they seem......

 

"...Friday, March 16, 2012

Fear Is Creating A Living Will, A Health Care Proxy, A DNR, A Bucket List And A Who Gets My Stuff When I Die At Age 42... Part Two..."

 

http://gothecatherine.blogspot.com/

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Superb writing MSG.. so much better than the normal (won't say this bit in case causes a drama)

 

You have a brilliant writing career ahead..

 

Lookin forward to it doll!

 

:D

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MSG nice blog! Time is another thing that changes while you are sick. The healing process dictates the schedule. You have little control of time.

I had a rough night last night bad fever along with a migrane and nausea on top of it. I was worried I wouldn't keep my pills down. The night before last I didn't sleep. The Interferon robs your brain of serotonin. That affects your mood making you have anxiety or depression or both. At the same time gives you insomnia from the chemical changes in your brain. So happy pills and sleepy pills are in order. on a positive note My son graduated from RedStone College with his A and p (aircraft) with high honors. My daughter was accepted at her university to continue to get her BFA plus a small scholarship .

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Bump

 

Bad Taste in my view for Asym to use this thread in this fashion.

 

MSG would be proud of the occupation.

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<br />Adding Maureen & Dan's son Trent to this list. If I'm not mistaken, that's SAers Mr & Mrs "Rockhead"<br /><br />Glad to hear they caught it and the prognosis is good. <br /><br />Lots of good thoughts and prayers headed out to the three of you<br />

Thanks Bowgirl.

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Step one of the "Three F's" per Mrs. RockHead's sports psychologist. Step 2 is "Fix it" That's already begun, with the surgery to remove the golf ball sized tumor from the Little Rock's head. Chemo will start in about 3 weeks. We got the initial details on the that from the Ped-Oncologist today. I'm sure there will be more shitty crap that I won't want to hear, but will. Step 3 is "Forget it" I'm looking forward to that, 5 years from now when he's officially a survivor. Fuck that, he became a survivor the minute the surgery was complete.

 

I can't tell you how shocked I was, when I checked into SA for the first time this week, unable to sleep while lying on the parent bed in the PICU, to see the quote from Nick on the front page. I never expected to see that here, but Dawg is a buddy of ours. Cancer took one of my best sailing buddies, Michael Byrnes, on the eve of the US Sailing Paralympic Trails that Maureen & Nick won to punch their tickets to the Games. He fought a good fight -not once, but twice. I felt he was watching over them during the Trials. One of our other best friends has a now 14 year old, Julia, 5 1/2 years post leukemia diagnosis. She was with us when the Ped-Onc delivered the initial report.

 

The Little Rock is going to show us how to be strong, I'm quite certain. Statistics suck, we're going to beat this fucking thing, he's too special to imagine anything else. Our current thinking is that Maureen will still go to China. We decided we need to continue to LIVE, as an example to him, and his big sister. I'm at peace that I won't be there to cheer her on in person, I'll be with him. I told Maureen that she'll simply have to plan on winning the Paralympic Trials for 2012, so he can be there to watch her win her second gold medal, like his sister will be to see the first one!

 

I've worn the LiveSTRONG bracelet for years, in a sign of support for Mike, Julia and others. On Wednesday, I looked at it and realized I had always worn it with the lettering facing out, for others. I turned it around, and read the words with an entirely different emphasis. LIVE. strong.

 

Fuck cancer, I'm keeping my son.

 

RockHead,

We don't know you from a bargepole, but we have followed your trials mate, and all the others here too, whilst we're all quiet we have been rooting in the stands for you over the last few years. That's simply great news.

Looking at your sons percentile charts made me go back and find your original post, it is good to see that it is possible to fight this bastard disease. I wonder how much of this success was due to the love and efforts from his parents, I suspect an awful lot.

HCW,

If you don't do anything else in life, this thread is a tribute to humanity and all the tribulations that go with it. This is something really special, not just for SA but in the real world too.

 

Someone should capture this thread into a book and have a copy in every cancer ward in the country, it would be a runaway hit. Donate all the proceeds to an SA selected charity supporting cancer and similar life altering diseases.

Thanks for sharing.

SB

 

+ 1 million

 

+1 million also.

 

First post on this thread.

 

When I was 17 my little brother was diagnosed with colon cancer. He was 12. That was a long time ago and cancer then was almost always a death sentence. My dad was a doctor and he knew the odds and it fucked him up pretty bad. Good on you for the attitude you are taking.

 

Bottom line, my brother beat it and is a healthy middle-aged guy now, a professional, and doing everything he ever wanted.

 

Fuck cancer.

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MSG would be proud of the occupation.

No. I'm not proud of the 'occupation'. It's fucking stupid and I don't even know nor do I want to know the whole story behind it.

Retards.

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Hi Catherine. That's all. :)

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Part of the latest, will be continued. Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and love. Things are never as bad as they seem......

 

"...Friday, March 16, 2012

Fear Is Creating A Living Will, A Health Care Proxy, A DNR, A Bucket List And A Who Gets My Stuff When I Die At Age 42... Part Two..."

 

http://gothecatherine.blogspot.com/

 

You Go Catherine!!

 

At this point Material is not important. Catherine if you one a J105 please put my name in the will :lol:

 

Have a nice Day!

 

Mario

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Hi. :)

Nice to see you smile girl! Hugs from downunder.

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MSG, Thank you for posting that very brave update. It puts everything in perspective. Thinking of you everyday. Stay strong.

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In honor of MSG I just cut off my hair and donated to the cancer wigs program. Some little kid in a cancer treatment program somewhere is getting a beautiful blonde wig.

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Hi Catherine. That's all. :)

+1

+1

 

+1

 

+1

 

+1

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You know, it really isn't that much more work to type "Hi, Catherine" than it is to do the "+1" thing. To quote Scar (in Lion King) "I'm surrounded by morons !!"

 

Oh, and

 

Hi, Catherine !!

Better Quickly Get !!

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Hi, Catherine

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Good morning Catherine. We have a wee dusting of snow on the ground at the beach. Pork chops for dinner. Should I set a place for you?

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Part of the latest, will be continued. Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and love. Things are never as bad as they seem......

 

"...Friday, March 16, 2012

Fear Is Creating A Living Will, A Health Care Proxy, A DNR, A Bucket List And A Who Gets My Stuff When I Die At Age 42... Part Two..."

 

http://gothecatherine.blogspot.com/

 

You Go Catherine!!

 

At this point Material is not important. Catherine if you one a J105 please put my name in the will :lol:

 

Have a nice Day!

 

Mario

 

could i have dibs on your diary? laugh.gif

prognosis: lilac love is coming your way next week..well maybe 10 days. <3 to you beautiful!

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xxx

MMMmmmmm, thank you.....What? You mean they weren't for me! :(

 

Hi Catherine!

hee hee happy to share!

:D

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I just received a call from Catherine, which I promised to pass along. She will try to write when and if she can. I don't know how to say this, and I can hardly see the screen to write it, but the news is not good. Her doctors have told her that there is no more that they can do, and that the cancer will soon win her fight. She was "behind the eight ball" from the beginning. She is in St. Peter's Hospice, but they are working to get her home, where she can be comfortable. At some point in the all too near future, she will drift off and leave us. She said at that point "there will be no more Catherine."

 

That last point is worthy of debate but I cannot do it right now.

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I just received a call from Catherine, which I promised to pass along. She will try to write when and if she can. I don't know how to say this, and I can hardly see the screen to write it, but the news is not good. Her doctors have told her that there is no more that they can do, and that the cancer will soon win her fight. She was "behind the eight ball" from the beginning. She is in St. Peter's Hospice, but they are working to get her home, where she can be comfortable. At some point in the all too near future, she will drift off and leave us. She said at that point "there will be no more Catherine."

 

That last point is worthy of debate but I cannot do it right now.

Sol ....there are no words. Appreciate the update and can't imagine how difficult it was to post this. msg, wishing you comfort, strength you didn't know you still had and smiles wherever they can be found. Sending hugs and holding you in caring thoughts.

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I just received a call from Catherine, which I promised to pass along. She will try to write when and if she can. I don't know how to say this, and I can hardly see the screen to write it, but the news is not good. Her doctors have told her that there is no more that they can do, and that the cancer will soon win her fight. She was "behind the eight ball" from the beginning. She is in St. Peter's Hospice, but they are working to get her home, where she can be comfortable. At some point in the all too near future, she will drift off and leave us. She said at that point "there will be no more Catherine."

 

That last point is worthy of debate but I cannot do it right now.

I have dreaded seeing a post like this since the beginning. Too soon goddammit, too soon. Catherine, I don't know you except from SA fora, but thank you for sharing all and as feeble as it sounds, I am thinking positive thoughts for you to help in whatever comes down the road.

 

 

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No, no, no, no, no..... Love you girl. RC has never been the same without you. Some of these people take it way to seriously.

 

I have no more words...

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For some reason I've been avoiding clicking on this thread the past few days. Dixie emailed me with the news (Thank you Paige).

 

Crap, shit, fuck, damn, hell.

 

There is no rational reason to explain why some are survivors and some are not. That's what makes cancer the Beast. The cancer community talks about survivors guilt, here's a case... I'm often stuck by how the good news in one fight is offset by bad news in another. Life is not always clean, simple and easy, as Catherine has shown many of us here.

 

I don't know if you're able to read this now, or if someone might read it to you. For having the courage to bring us along on your journey, I thank you Catherine. You were one of the ones here who really helped me through the Pebble's cancer battle. I will never forget that, or you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the compassion, love, support and caring you expressed to me then. I can only hope that I was able to repay some fraction of that debt during your battle.

 

Wishing you peace and comfort, with love.

 

Dan

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When I was rading the last couple of updates, on the blog, I didn't have a good feeling about this.

Really sad, 42 is way to young to go throught this.....

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MSG, through it all you have been TERRIFIC! A big hug. So sorry to hear.... so sorry.

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For some reason I've been avoiding clicking on this thread the past few days. Dixie emailed me with the news (Thank you Paige).

 

Crap, shit, fuck, damn, hell.

 

There is no rational reason to explain why some are survivors and some are not. That's what makes cancer the Beast. The cancer community talks about survivors guilt, here's a case... I'm often stuck by how the good news in one fight is offset by bad news in another. Life is not always clean, simple and easy, as Catherine has shown many of us here.

 

I don't know if you're able to read this now, or if someone might read it to you. For having the courage to bring us along on your journey, I thank you Catherine. You were one of the ones here who really helped me through the Pebble's cancer battle. I will never forget that, or you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the compassion, love, support and caring you expressed to me then. I can only hope that I was able to repay some fraction of that debt during your battle.

 

Wishing you peace and comfort, with love.

 

Dan

 

 

Dan,

Thank you for sharing that, and I agree completely.

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Catherine,

It takes major strength and courage to even step up and share with us like you have. I seriously pray that the love and hope and positive vibes and positive energy we have been directing your way has made a difference, even if small, and even if you've had to "view" it through the pain and fear you've been living with.

 

I'm crying for you, and crying with you right now. I hope that you can allow me to share that, without seeing it as a downer? If this was a letter like we all used to write, instead of a piece of electronic text, the ink would be blurred beyond recognition now.

 

Long, warm hugs to you**

Blake

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Fucking fuck. My tears don't do justice to the person you are, beautiful Catherine. Fuck. Fuck.

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Awe sweety that so sucks. Thoughts and prayers.

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Praying hard for you....... wherever your roads are leading, you will travel them with love.

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Damn. I'll play some Karen Carpenter later today in your honor. May you be as comfortable as is possible...

Double Damn.

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In honor of MSG I just cut off my hair and donated to the cancer wigs program. Some little kid in a cancer treatment program somewhere is getting a beautiful blonde wig.

Been doing that for the last 5 years, since I don't donate blood anymore. With only my arms to use, I am a bit protective of them.

 

It takes over a year for my hair to grow to a decent length

 

Locks of Love

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Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We go on praying, and will always have a little bit of you deep inside us.

 

With love.

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Black sharpies and this site will never be the same without you. You are in my prayers.

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Catherine,

 

A few years ago I was very fortunate to meet an anarchist (you!) that up until that time I only knew via e-mail correspondence. I was sooo lucky. Your sense of humour in your greeting (calling me while hidden behind a car and then when I asked where you were, you walked out from behind the car and told me that you weren't too far away.)

 

Driving up and down US1 looking for a party store, partially lost, knowing only that as long as we went back and forth eventually (hopefully) we would find ourselves back in Coconut Grove.

 

Exhausted after a long day on the water, giggling, while we filled out "From Tricia" on 50 packages of sweet tarts that had lovey dovey messages on them.

 

Sitting at the kitchen table chatting.

 

Your escapades with the repair man and the laundry room washing machine. It didn't work because you were using Canadian quarters.

 

Race Committee and making the drive in rush hour traffic just so we could visit.

 

Your "Smithsonianesque" Jesus collection.

 

A true friend. A wonderful individual.

 

Why she will be taken at such a young age is one of life's mysteries we will never understand.

 

Peace, fair winds, hugs and prayers.

 

M.

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I am so very saddened by this news and have spent the last few hours thinking of how I met you, how I've sailed against you, partied with you and wished from a far lately that you would kick this 'eight ball' off the field.

 

 

You are a woman who makes waves, not ripples when you land in a community. You have fight, you have sharpies, you have bewbs, but most of all for many of us who hung with you have delight, passion, smarts, gobs of humor with a bit of snark. I think I'll have a shot of something tonight in your honor Catherine. Something sweet with a kick that makes me me spit up laughing once I've had a sip or two. Thanks for sharing your fun, your party, and your fight.

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C - Anything you want that we can make happen for you? No job too big or too small as you know already 

 

I know you feel us beside you, I know with 50 virtual mates sitting on your bed it’s a bit cramped & your legs are gonna ache at times! We’re not going to move so I’ll just apologise for that in advance!

 

Hope you have your “Magic Blanket” with you

 

Peace, comfort & a giggle everyday xxx

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Don't know what to say beyond I hope somehow that the fear & pain you've been experiencing is replaced with peace in your spirit and comfort over the coming days and weeks.

 

This is terrible news.

 

Thanks for the update, Sol.

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Well, shit. The bad news just won't stop coming.

 

Catherine, you've fought hard and no doubt suffered. All we can hope is that you'll be at peace with your destiny, have closure with those closest to you, and be comfortable. I don't remember your having mentioned having any strong religious belief, but if so, I hope you can draw some comfort from that.

 

Go peacefully, dear. You'll always be remembered.

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My heart bleeds......... :( There are no words to express. Why does god have to take such a vibrant full of life person so young.

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Damn, words fail me, I've been staring at the screen for ten minutes, you have my thoughts and prayers Catherine...

 

 

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