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Knocked Out

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"Uh..yes, we meant to do that. Had to give the others a fighting chance. We can't just sweep the series, you know. It wouldn't be sporting."

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Owners wife to owner - Honey don't you have Vigara for this as well?

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And thanks to our new sponsor 'SLAM' or should it have been 'SPLASH'

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Now Thats what I call a SLAM DUNK!!!

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Owner calling his lawyer: "Ahhh well - that patent infringement only applies to sailboats, right? Then we got that sorted out. It's not a sailboat any longer."

Damn! Beat me to it.

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Who's calling puffs?

 

or

 

MF owners! You can let 'em park it in the slip, let 'em sit on the high side and annoy the tactician; hell, you can even let em drive a little bit downhill in the light stuff, but never, and I mean NEVER let 'em trim the runners!

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Mr Buckley, I've got some Lawyers from New York on Line 1, a Mr Lord on Line 2, and on Line 3 there's a guy who says you left a runner block behind on the dock this morning.

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Maximus gains HUGE rating advantage by eliminating Rig altogether! "By doing away with the rig completely, we found we could get the rating down to almost zero. We're working on getting the boat back up to speed without it", said skipper Charlie Brown

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I think when Jack woke up this morning, he thought he was a sumo wrestler instead of a sailor....

 

This has nothing to do with sumo wrestling. When I came here, I came to sail against you...not against the bloody marines !

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C.B.T.F. - Cheque Book Totally F*cked

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Maximus the maxi was a very fast yacht

 

Until Maxi Worlds when her crew lost the plot

 

'To many drugs', cried the skipper aghast

 

As his red-eyed crew knocked over the mast

 

Now just a big esky doing less than a knot

 

Alas poor Maximus, stuck in one spot!

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No, I really think it looks more phallic this way - it stays!

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Where's FM when you need him,do we need a larger OB on the back?

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Wife to owner--------

 

That's one more DAMN thing that you can't keep up!

that one has to be on the shortlist.

 

 

 

 

m2cw:-

 

no really boss - it was there a minute ago !

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I'm so fast, Who needs a mast.

 

From the Boat builder - If only these F.B.O's ( fucking boat onwers ) would pay there bills.

 

From the rigger - Work was so slow, Good thing I went for last nights walk.

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I'm so fast, Who needs a mast.

 

From the Boat builder - If only these F.B.O's ( fucking boat onwers ) would pay there bills.

 

From the rigger - Work was so slow, Good thing I went for a walk last nights.

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And the apparent truth is,

"get the runner on, get the *#@*& runner on, wrap the *@##* runner around the winch, what you*##**# let go the runner for, what no gloves, lucky your related."

brings back memories of the IOR days

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Brother John, did you say Mast Pump or "Have a dump".........?.......Ahhhh fuck ...........

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"This issue, also called erectile dysfunction (ED), occurs with younger men as well."

ouch, maybe they should try that blue little pill, ya know.

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it's a power boat anyway, isn't it? so, why carry that dead weight?

 

or

 

skipper to 1st mate: you motherf***er, you didn't remind me to take my blue pill.

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"to truely acheive the 4th mode, we should put some fenders out"

Winner, that was one of my favorites..

 

My .02 :

 

Come watch the Maxi worlds on the the mighty fishing boat Maximus.

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"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

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Macgregor 26 designer to another..."now that gives me an idea, what the hell have we been thinking...call the spar company and have them rip-up those purcahse orders..."

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impromput team metting: All right, who was the B$%T**D on the rail who said "Now the only way we can lose this race...."

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The Emperors new rig debutes in the Maxi class. Someone please put me in contact with this owner, I have a bridge I want to sell him.

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oi! guys!.. the bloke in the duckie reckons we dropped something back there !!!....

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Brown to Buckley - "Buckley mate, did you get the insurance sorted mate?"

 

Buckley - "Umm need to speak to you about that mate - could only get 3rd party liability and that dosen't cover the hull after what happened to Skandia on the Sydney Hobart."

 

Brown - "sh*t, better find that paddle then - where are we anyway"

 

Buckley - "up sh*t creek I think"

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fack fack fack fack fack fack

 

I said trow the mast not the beers arshole!!!!

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Ring ring

~Hello?

-Uh Greg?

~Yawn...Yah? You know its the middle of the night right?

-Yes. Greg. I know that. You know how you said it was going to be a rotating rig...

~...yeeess...

-Yeah, mate, which axis is it supposed to rotate 'round again?

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OK, so what's the new PH rating with this short rig?

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Yo skipper, would my carton of viagra help?

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I geuss we were'nt supposed to cut the red wire....or the blue one

 

 

A renowned Kiwi boat builder has just finished construction of the worlds largest surfboard

 

Skipped muttering to self "I knew I shouldnt have laughed at Skandia after the hobart"

 

Auckland...we have a problem

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Maximus Desilvered Rigminus

 

Foightin' 'Round The World

Born in New Zealand in sixty-four

A hot-headed actor named Russell Crowe

He loves to act but he loves one thing more:

Fight-in' Round The World

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To save time, how about we just drive a couple of Ferraris off the end of the jetty next time you want more points on your credit card??

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CBTF technology is now so fast its made masts and sails completely redundant

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