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    • UnderDawg

      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.
    • B.J. Porter

      Moderation Team Change   06/16/2017

      After fifteen years of volunteer moderation at SA, I will no longer be part of the moderation team. The decision to step aside is mine, and has been some time in the works but we did not wish to announce it in advance for a number of reasons. It's been fun, but I need my time back for other purposes now. The Underdawg admin account will not be monitored until further notice, as I will be relinquishing control of it along with my administrative privileges. Zapata will continue on as a moderator, and any concerns or issues can be directed to that account or to the Editor until further notice. Anyone interested in helping moderate the forums should reach out to Scot by sending a PM to the Editor account. Please note that I am not leaving the community, I am merely stepping aside from Admin responsibilities and privileges on the site.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Editor

Quantum Caption Contest

197 posts in this topic

This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

 

06/06/06

spinnaker_caption_contest.JPG

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And we were ripping up the 470 nationals in first place on the final downwind leg, yada yada yada, my girlfriend is going to have to wait another year for that boob job.

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This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

 

06/06/06

 

"can you at least trim what's left of the sail?"

 

"that was the practice kite, right?"

 

"HOW much does a new one cost!?"

 

"I told you that cloth felt too soft."

 

"sail the cloth?"

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Oh hell, I told you the double D cup wouldn't hold!

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"Check out out the new Airhead chute!"

 

or

 

Skipper "Rip my head off?" "That beat was not that bad!"

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Now do you understand why I wanted you to bring your sewing kit?

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Dude I love these new tear-away disposable chutes! They come down so easy. No more repacking.

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is this is how you do a spin peel?

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Gosh, I hope the guys from Sailing Anarchy don't see this! :ph34r:

 

What am I supposed to do when the shoulders collapse?

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Not too sure about this new outleader kite

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Victoria Secret's inspiration for their maternity range.

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Are you SURE that Hong Kong sailmaker knew you were talking to someone else when you asked about a "pressure relief valve"?

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North Sails has revolutionized sail design once again.

the brand new 1/2-1/2oz

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There's no "but we've only got half a kite" in T.E.A.M., so get on the wire.

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I guess luff tapes dont stick very well to scotch tape.

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Well.... Time to hit the bar!

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Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!

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For windy wellington sailing, the local 470 class association decided a new heavy air 4\7ths kite for the 470 would be best.

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My favorite phrase I have said the 3 times I have blown out chutes (which were directly my fault):

 

 

"Well... (5 second pause) Shit."

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I told you to order a blue and white one.If its good enough for Mal and Nath ,its good enough for us.

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Could you please reread the trimming guide about opening the slot?

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the austrians experiment with the latest trend in "improved airflow" off the wind...

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Just three months later, 'quick-release' underwear was in full production thanks to an epiphany on the water.

 

Supplied with Port and Starboard ripstop tabs for rapid deployment in even the most crowded nightclubs, the 'Air-Gusset' was proving popular in many shore-side watering holes.

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I tell you, there will be a lot less healing on the reach.

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Skipper, we have got another "cheap, slightly used" kite for sale..

 

So it was THAT those anarchists messed with in our trailer.

 

Skipper, this kite dont suck like it should do.

 

Skipper, got a plan B?

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" My wife is going to kill me - they were her best knickers!!!"

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"Uh, skipper, I'm not sure going to La Perla for the spinnaker was such a great plan. I'm unconvinced by this new half-cup DD cut"

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" GESUNDHEIT !!! "

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well, we forgot to tape that cotter pin!...

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Crew to helm "keep pulling, eventually the watertight compartments will open, then we'll get picked up by a VOR 70"....

 

Helm to Crew.."just make sure you don't tell no fucker"

 

As

 

:P

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I see, that's what the sailmaker meant by: " the kite will shed power on top in the gusts."

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"New demo kite for the 470 class relesed to day! comes with the new invisabul head panles".......... arrrr there not invisabul mate!

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Diggity, diggity... it's just like peeling panties!

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"Man, you clearly can't trim a kite to save your ass. The pole clearly has to go down about at least an inch or two . . . "

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famous last words - ony a little tear, it'll hold

 

skipper - dude, what did you eat last night?

 

hmm that looks pretty good with a blue panel there, what do you think of blue? you like blue? ok we'll go blue.

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Damn weve done a Pirates of the Caribbean

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" I told you we should have made more sacrifices to the Gods of the Stormy Dark last night, but oh no, you wanted a Vodka Martini - shaken, not stirred - well shake this you James Bond wannabe %)&*&%^^&(%%£)_(*& "

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I was told this race weekend is famous for it's topless participants, this is not what I had in mind!

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1) That's the wrong kite! The overhead kite is in the other turtle. Now we have two Kites and next time don't use the pole.

 

2) Look it's a Maxi pad with no wings!

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After mastering canting keel techology and a stellar performance in the VOR, Farr Yacht Design has expanded business into the sail design world. Look for the latest designs at a regatta near you.

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Have you seen my Leatherman? I'm sure I left it in the spinnaker turtle.

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I thought you said we had an all white chute

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Your resume said you had extensive sail repair experience. You have 10 minutes from the mark.

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I can't seem to get the top of the chute to fill

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Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!

 

The winner!

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Skipper: $20 bucks if you can bullshit your way through this one in the bar asshole.

 

 

For those of you who don't know, this is a reverse "Atomic Wedgie"

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"This is the last downwind leg of the day, right?

Otherwise, this Is the last downwind leg of the day..."

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"470... I told you it was a girls boat, full of strippers"

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"I've got good pressure, good pressure...uh...No, I don't."

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Fly the cloth! Fly the cloth!

 

No you idiots, not the friggin' table cloth.

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Hey, you said the wind was better closer to the water ... I'm just trying to get it!

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Fuck, The fucking fucker is fucked, get that fucker down u fuck.......

 

Shag

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Two days after all the crews put up the 700 Euro "damage deposit" at the World Sailing Games for the provided boats and sails Olimpic Sails passed out the "fine Print"

 

!!! WARNING: our top performing spinnakers are made of POLYESTER fabrics, which gives the highest performance being stiffer than commonly used Nylons. This allows the transmission of power to the boat earlier. Whilst the elasticity of Nylon has the effect of “absorbing part of the power”. POLYESTER spinnakers are VERY FRAGILE especially, when BRAND NEW. You should use them with all possible CARE and protect them from all sharp parts of your boat, including the Jib clew, the sail-bag, etc. After some use the polyester looses some of the finishing coat, making it slightly more elastic, therefore less easy to break.

 

(this is actually what happened and several teams ended up eating a lot of euros :( )

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What d'ya mean you boned up whilst sleeping in the chute last night!?

:P

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The new Wicked Weasel inspired line of sails; The Camel Toe.....Order yours now and avoid the rush.

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WARNING TO ALL SAILORS: This is what happens when you hold the last 25% payment from your sail order

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"Holy Shoot"

 

Skipper to crew:" Have you lost your head man!!!, that is slowing us down" crew:" But the NorthSails tuning guide said this might make us fast...."

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Skipper: Let the chute breathe!

 

Crew: Uh, no problem!!

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I'm telling you those fuckers over at North don't know what their talking about!

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So, do you think the pole is too high?

 

I’m not sure if this NOoz. head is doing anything for us.

 

Sail maker – “Trust me. The new turbulator slot technology is f’n fast! You’ll see when you set it.”

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Worst Regatta EVER! First my condom, now this...

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I think I better call Mark and put a rush on the new kite order.

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