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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  

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Quantum Caption Contest

197 posts in this topic

This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

 

06/06/06

spinnaker_caption_contest.JPG

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And we were ripping up the 470 nationals in first place on the final downwind leg, yada yada yada, my girlfriend is going to have to wait another year for that boob job.

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This month's caption contest is brought to you by Quantum Sail Design Group. (No these aren't Quantum Sails!). Quantum has some great prizes for the best three captions so have at it! Thanks to Guilain Grenier for the photo.

 

06/06/06

 

"can you at least trim what's left of the sail?"

 

"that was the practice kite, right?"

 

"HOW much does a new one cost!?"

 

"I told you that cloth felt too soft."

 

"sail the cloth?"

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Oh hell, I told you the double D cup wouldn't hold!

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"Check out out the new Airhead chute!"

 

or

 

Skipper "Rip my head off?" "That beat was not that bad!"

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Now do you understand why I wanted you to bring your sewing kit?

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Dude I love these new tear-away disposable chutes! They come down so easy. No more repacking.

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is this is how you do a spin peel?

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Gosh, I hope the guys from Sailing Anarchy don't see this! :ph34r:

 

What am I supposed to do when the shoulders collapse?

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Not too sure about this new outleader kite

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Victoria Secret's inspiration for their maternity range.

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Are you SURE that Hong Kong sailmaker knew you were talking to someone else when you asked about a "pressure relief valve"?

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North Sails has revolutionized sail design once again.

the brand new 1/2-1/2oz

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There's no "but we've only got half a kite" in T.E.A.M., so get on the wire.

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I guess luff tapes dont stick very well to scotch tape.

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Well.... Time to hit the bar!

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Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!

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For windy wellington sailing, the local 470 class association decided a new heavy air 4\7ths kite for the 470 would be best.

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My favorite phrase I have said the 3 times I have blown out chutes (which were directly my fault):

 

 

"Well... (5 second pause) Shit."

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I told you to order a blue and white one.If its good enough for Mal and Nath ,its good enough for us.

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Could you please reread the trimming guide about opening the slot?

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the austrians experiment with the latest trend in "improved airflow" off the wind...

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Just three months later, 'quick-release' underwear was in full production thanks to an epiphany on the water.

 

Supplied with Port and Starboard ripstop tabs for rapid deployment in even the most crowded nightclubs, the 'Air-Gusset' was proving popular in many shore-side watering holes.

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I tell you, there will be a lot less healing on the reach.

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Skipper, we have got another "cheap, slightly used" kite for sale..

 

So it was THAT those anarchists messed with in our trailer.

 

Skipper, this kite dont suck like it should do.

 

Skipper, got a plan B?

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" My wife is going to kill me - they were her best knickers!!!"

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"Uh, skipper, I'm not sure going to La Perla for the spinnaker was such a great plan. I'm unconvinced by this new half-cup DD cut"

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" GESUNDHEIT !!! "

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well, we forgot to tape that cotter pin!...

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Crew to helm "keep pulling, eventually the watertight compartments will open, then we'll get picked up by a VOR 70"....

 

Helm to Crew.."just make sure you don't tell no fucker"

 

As

 

:P

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I see, that's what the sailmaker meant by: " the kite will shed power on top in the gusts."

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"New demo kite for the 470 class relesed to day! comes with the new invisabul head panles".......... arrrr there not invisabul mate!

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Diggity, diggity... it's just like peeling panties!

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"Man, you clearly can't trim a kite to save your ass. The pole clearly has to go down about at least an inch or two . . . "

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famous last words - ony a little tear, it'll hold

 

skipper - dude, what did you eat last night?

 

hmm that looks pretty good with a blue panel there, what do you think of blue? you like blue? ok we'll go blue.

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Damn weve done a Pirates of the Caribbean

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" I told you we should have made more sacrifices to the Gods of the Stormy Dark last night, but oh no, you wanted a Vodka Martini - shaken, not stirred - well shake this you James Bond wannabe %)&*&%^^&(%%£)_(*& "

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I was told this race weekend is famous for it's topless participants, this is not what I had in mind!

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1) That's the wrong kite! The overhead kite is in the other turtle. Now we have two Kites and next time don't use the pole.

 

2) Look it's a Maxi pad with no wings!

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After mastering canting keel techology and a stellar performance in the VOR, Farr Yacht Design has expanded business into the sail design world. Look for the latest designs at a regatta near you.

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Have you seen my Leatherman? I'm sure I left it in the spinnaker turtle.

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I thought you said we had an all white chute

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Your resume said you had extensive sail repair experience. You have 10 minutes from the mark.

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I can't seem to get the top of the chute to fill

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Bloody apprentice sailmakers! If I have told them once, I have told them a hundred times! The f*king window goes at the bottom!

 

The winner!

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Skipper: $20 bucks if you can bullshit your way through this one in the bar asshole.

 

 

For those of you who don't know, this is a reverse "Atomic Wedgie"

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"This is the last downwind leg of the day, right?

Otherwise, this Is the last downwind leg of the day..."

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"470... I told you it was a girls boat, full of strippers"

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"I've got good pressure, good pressure...uh...No, I don't."

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Fly the cloth! Fly the cloth!

 

No you idiots, not the friggin' table cloth.

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Hey, you said the wind was better closer to the water ... I'm just trying to get it!

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Fuck, The fucking fucker is fucked, get that fucker down u fuck.......

 

Shag

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Two days after all the crews put up the 700 Euro "damage deposit" at the World Sailing Games for the provided boats and sails Olimpic Sails passed out the "fine Print"

 

!!! WARNING: our top performing spinnakers are made of POLYESTER fabrics, which gives the highest performance being stiffer than commonly used Nylons. This allows the transmission of power to the boat earlier. Whilst the elasticity of Nylon has the effect of “absorbing part of the power”. POLYESTER spinnakers are VERY FRAGILE especially, when BRAND NEW. You should use them with all possible CARE and protect them from all sharp parts of your boat, including the Jib clew, the sail-bag, etc. After some use the polyester looses some of the finishing coat, making it slightly more elastic, therefore less easy to break.

 

(this is actually what happened and several teams ended up eating a lot of euros :( )

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What d'ya mean you boned up whilst sleeping in the chute last night!?

:P

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The new Wicked Weasel inspired line of sails; The Camel Toe.....Order yours now and avoid the rush.

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WARNING TO ALL SAILORS: This is what happens when you hold the last 25% payment from your sail order

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"Holy Shoot"

 

Skipper to crew:" Have you lost your head man!!!, that is slowing us down" crew:" But the NorthSails tuning guide said this might make us fast...."

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Skipper: Let the chute breathe!

 

Crew: Uh, no problem!!

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I'm telling you those fuckers over at North don't know what their talking about!

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So, do you think the pole is too high?

 

I’m not sure if this NOoz. head is doing anything for us.

 

Sail maker – “Trust me. The new turbulator slot technology is f’n fast! You’ll see when you set it.”

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Worst Regatta EVER! First my condom, now this...

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I think I better call Mark and put a rush on the new kite order.

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