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Dude! I told you that guy was a poser...just cuz he owns a sailing website, doesn't mean he actually goes out sailing! He's like the Brittany Spears of the racing world....Hell, he's even lip synching...OH wait that's not what he's doing...ewwwwww.!

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ED: "Did anyone grab the beer?"

Crew: "...Uhhh..."

ED: "...Aww, shit."

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Ed has a violent reaction as he takes his first truly honest look at the aesthetics of his FT10.

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Crew to the Ed:

 

Geezes Scot you've got to get over this first day of a NOOD regatta jitters. You were sick trying to get to the NOOD adventure in the Caribbean and your sick again the first day of this NOOD event. There seems to be a pattern here.

 

 

M.

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Race boat: $50,000

Cool new gear: $1000

Showing up on the internet with puke all over said gear and boat: PRICELESS

 

For everything else, there's Scuttlebutt. Sailing Anarchy, it's everywhere you want to be....

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What goes through the mind of SA's editor as his breakfast goes into the ocean...

 

"fuck, some fucker is going to get a picture of this... Fuck I feel like shit".

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The crew begin to question the skipper’s mental state when they hear him say “I love you Anarchy, I want to let the whole world know that, and as soon as they change those archaic marriage laws we shall be wed. Those other boats didn’t mean a thing to me it is you that I have been yearning for all these years. You are my one and only love babe.”

 

Man some guys will try anything to get a girl to put out.

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TEMPESTA OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

................MOSTA HIS LUNCH!

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CONSUMER TOY RECALL NOTICE:

 

(March 17, 2008, Washington D.C.)

 

Another round of product recalls of chinese made toys was announced today.

 

The brands recalled include MagnaMan magnetic action figures and Flying Tiger sailboats. It was found that magnets could detatch from the action figures and be swallowed and the high lead content of the Chinese made sailboats made passengers ill.

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Where the status doesn't blow, but chunks do.

 

mchris65

 

 

In the meantime, why not have a little fun at my expense and have a caption contest? The winner gets a limited edition Anarchy team jacket. Have fun, ya bastards!

 

03/17/08

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Hey,

 

Those Kobe Bryant Colorado Shitburgers last night were real tasty. But this is a hangover from hell!

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I had the same thing happen to me once at the beginning of a 12+ hour distance race in Tampa Bay. I never get seasick, but was feeling flu-like crappy at the dock before the race and even thought about not going. Ended up pucking starting about five minutes after the start, and was sick as a dog for the whole race. It never felt better to finish a race and get to bed.....

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And in a simple yet effective act of defiance, the bow man attempted to feed the back of the boat two week old sausage, egg and cheese sandwiches to finally get him to them shut the fack up! Unfortuantely, only the hungover skipper took the bait.

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Unbeknowst to Scot, using the boat as a meth lab during races result in significant noxious fumes venting out of the boat on the downwind legs.

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"I just can't believe I got caught doing the bowcow in the forepeek last night"

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"theres something warm and wet in my pants, i think i like it"

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They said if I bought all the beer last night they would finally let me do something, screw you guys....sobb...sobb...sniffle..

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At least there's finally a picture of my boat on the interweb that doesn't have any obvious rules violations...

 

except for some weight relief. :P

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In a scene from the upcoming movie “Anarchyman – The Legend of Ralph Burgundy” shot on location in beautiful San Diego

Mr. Clean: I think I was in love once.

Ralph Burgundy: Really? What was her name?

Mr. Clean: I don't remember.

Ralph Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...

Mr. Clean: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.

Ralph Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.

Mr. Clean: Damn it.

 

Scot Tempesta: I love... winch.

[pause]

Scot Tempesta: I love... tiller.

Ralph Burgundy: Scot, are you just looking at things on the boat and saying that you love them?

Scot Tempesta: I love stanchion.

Ralph Burgundy: Do you really love the stanchion, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

Scot Tempesta: I love stanchion. I love stanchion.

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I'm so ashamed, what a big girls blouse I am, supposed to be the big ed on a sailing site and i get caught puking in sight of land, if this is what im like farting around in a plastic shitter, what would i be like if i ever actually went offshore for long enough to need a change of underwear?

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I buy a new boat, sniff, I buy new sails, sniff, I buy the beer, and they still won't let me steer. I want my mommy!

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Drinks at the bar the night before $80.00. Bag of weed to roll after drinks $20.00. Bacon & eggs before the race $10.00. Getting caught blowing chunks on your own Web site......... Priceless.

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"This just in, the FDA reports that prolonged exposure to lead leads to narcolepsy, especially in a marine environment"

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Oh pushpit, oh pushpit, how I love thee. You are my rock, my backbone and my strength in times of need. You are always there for me, ready to give me that which I need to go on in hard times and support my crew in good times. Now if you could just hold my hair back you would indeed be purrfect. BAAAARRRRFFFFF.

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If I lean a little further inboard - crick my neck around and squint !!! Shit , I still can't see the tacktic - "Hey you tubby pit man - spread your legs further apart - I'm trying to do my job back here !!!!!"

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liquor before beer your in the clear.

beer before mount gay...eh, your ok....

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(cell phone rings)

 

The Ed: "Yo Dawg, I'm racing at the NOOD. Did I miss anything?"

 

Dawg: "Yeah, Google called and offered to buy SA for $500MM but I told them you'd never sell. Oh, and Craig Leweck just won the Nobel Prize in Physics for his cutting edge research on injecting hot air and gas into outer space through empty internet forums."

 

The Ed: "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!"

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mmmm don't mind me i am just tightning the loose life lines....

(SERIOUSLY CHECK OUT HOW LOOSE THEY ARE)

could be boat bend?

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Most people don't know this but this is exactly how skippy invented Chunky.

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Huh? 999days left? Excuse me for a moment.............

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Thar she blows !!!!!!!

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Captain Ralph sez: The Dramamine don't work any quicker when you snort it.

 

I haven't read past post #100 yet, but for the first 100 posts, this one made me laugh the most.

 

edit: finished the thread - still the best.

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Breaking his pre-race promise to the crew, the Ed disappointedly does not swallow.

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He is thinking, There is no place like home. There is no place like home. There is no place like home. Hope this works with flip flops!

Buuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaauugh!

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I don't need ANYTHING!...except this pushpit, that's all I need. And this thermos...This pushpit and this thermos, that's all I need...

 

 

Even kinda looks like the Ed...

 

steve-martin-jerk.jpg

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:( "It musta been bad ice".

Nobody else in this forum ever puked. Or ran aground either.

Shit, I ran THAT boat aground last year.

 

Here's my caption: "I fucking hate sailboat racing. I want my bed."

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"my mom wouldve made me coco, you guys are just mean"

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"I am going to be a terrific sailor today. And I am gonna share my happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit people like me. "

 

The Tempesta daily affirmation captured on film.

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Oh crap, they've started looking for the beer. Maybe if I look sick or something that will distract them enough so they forget who left it on the dock. I better hold on tight back here just in case though.

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I never used to get sick, but the older I get the worse it gets. It’s kind of a drag as a big part of my living is sailing. You just need to get use to eating and drinking a lot if you’re going to hurl a lot. It’s the only way I feel better.

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"seafood stew my ass that was chum"

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"As long as talking to Sailing World makes me feel like this...I'm not fucking selling!"

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