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aA

i'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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Now that's just not right! And I was getting my hopes up it might go nationwide!

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I think I would have stopped listening right after the, "I want another woman to join us in bed" part, Justification???

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semi-sort of funny...

 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/13-texts-from-last-night-from-famous-superheroes_p2/

 

 

I like the one about Captain Morgan

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(202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

 

 

(479): Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.

 

 

(215): Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.

 

 

(315): My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD

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(317):

 

If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt

 

 

Oops....

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(204):

 

Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.

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I went and read 2 pages of those texts, the only thing I came out with is that area code 206 is a strange place. A vast majority of texts are labelled from there, what is it about the North West?

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I went and read 2 pages of those texts, the only thing I came out with is that area code 206 is a strange place. A vast majority of texts are labelled from there, what is it about the North West?

Awesome chronic?

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I went and read 2 pages of those texts, the only thing I came out with is that area code 206 is a strange place. A vast majority of texts are labelled from there, what is it about the North West?

 

1 word, Tacoma

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Well, here's what Indiana is up to...

 

(219):

 

I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life

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(306):

 

he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!

 

 

 

More Saskatchewan??

 

 

(306):

 

For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.

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(513):

 

You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!

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I went and read 2 pages of those texts, the only thing I came out with is that area code 206 is a strange place. A vast majority of texts are labelled from there, what is it about the North West?

 

1 word, Tacoma

T-town is 253. So sorry for your ignorance.

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I went and read 2 pages of those texts, the only thing I came out with is that area code 206 is a strange place. A vast majority of texts are labelled from there, what is it about the North West?

 

1 word, Tacoma

T-town is 253. So sorry for your ignorance.

 

 

like everything that oozes... I'm sure the infection has spread..

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(757):

 

And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

 

(Hasn't rained in South Texas in for-fuck-ever)

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(971):

 

I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.

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It seems that 501 needs to get in contact with the sister and have a discussion about this...... see if they can cum to an understanding about the need for discretion in these matters.

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