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      A Few Simple Rules   05/22/2017

      Sailing Anarchy is a very lightly moderated site. This is by design, to afford a more free atmosphere for discussion. There are plenty of sailing forums you can go to where swearing isn't allowed, confrontation is squelched and, and you can have a moderator finger-wag at you for your attitude. SA tries to avoid that and allow for more adult behavior without moderators editing your posts and whacking knuckles with rulers. We don't have a long list of published "thou shalt nots" either, and this is by design. Too many absolute rules paints us into too many corners. So check the Terms of Service - there IS language there about certain types of behavior that is not permitted. We interpret that lightly and permit a lot of latitude, but we DO reserve the right to take action when something is too extreme to tolerate (too racist, graphic, violent, misogynistic, etc.). Yes, that is subjective, but it allows us discretion. Avoiding a laundry list of rules allows for freedom; don't abuse it. However there ARE a few basic rules that will earn you a suspension, and apparently a brief refresher is in order. 1) Allegations of pedophilia - there is no tolerance for this. So if you make allegations, jokes, innuendo or suggestions about child molestation, child pornography, abuse or inappropriate behavior with minors etc. about someone on this board you will get a time out. This is pretty much automatic; this behavior can have real world effect and is not acceptable. Obviously the subject is not banned when discussion of it is apropos, e.g. talking about an item in the news for instance. But allegations or references directed at or about another poster is verboten. 2) Outing people - providing real world identifiable information about users on the forums who prefer to remain anonymous. Yes, some of us post with our real names - not a problem to use them. However many do NOT, and if you find out someone's name keep it to yourself, first or last. This also goes for other identifying information too - employer information etc. You don't need too many pieces of data to figure out who someone really is these days. Depending on severity you might get anything from a scolding to a suspension - so don't do it. I know it can be confusing sometimes for newcomers, as SA has been around almost twenty years and there are some people that throw their real names around and their current Display Name may not match the name they have out in the public. But if in doubt, you don't want to accidentally out some one so use caution, even if it's a personal friend of yours in real life. 3) Posting While Suspended - If you've earned a timeout (these are fairly rare and hard to get), please observe the suspension. If you create a new account (a "Sock Puppet") and return to the forums to post with it before your suspension is up you WILL get more time added to your original suspension and lose your Socks. This behavior may result a permanent ban, since it shows you have zero respect for the few rules we have and the moderating team that is tasked with supporting them. Check the Terms of Service you agreed to; they apply to the individual agreeing, not the account you created, so don't try to Sea Lawyer us if you get caught. Just don't do it. Those are the three that will almost certainly get you into some trouble. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DO ONE OF THESE THINGS, please do the following: Refrain from quoting the offending text, it makes the thread cleanup a pain in the rear Press the Report button; it is by far the best way to notify Admins as we will get e-mails. Calling out for Admins in the middle of threads, sending us PM's, etc. - there is no guarantee we will get those in a timely fashion. There are multiple Moderators in multiple time zones around the world, and anyone one of us can handle the Report and all of us will be notified about it. But if you PM one Mod directly and he's off line, the problem will get dealt with much more slowly. Other behaviors that you might want to think twice before doing include: Intentionally disrupting threads and discussions repeatedly. Off topic/content free trolling in threads to disrupt dialog Stalking users around the forums with the intent to disrupt content and discussion Repeated posting of overly graphic or scatological porn content. There are plenty web sites for you to get your freak on, don't do it here. And a brief note to Newbies... No, we will not ban people or censor them for dropping F-bombs on you, using foul language, etc. so please don't report it when one of our members gives you a greeting you may find shocking. We do our best not to censor content here and playing swearword police is not in our job descriptions. Sailing Anarchy is more like a bar than a classroom, so handle it like you would meeting someone a little coarse - don't look for the teacher. Thanks.

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Caption Contest

275 posts in this topic

This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

b_235_keel.jpg

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No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

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Hauled out in Barcelona for a Gaudì bottom job.

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I told you it wasn't the rig!!!!

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Husband to wife "You know that dinning set you made me buy, well geuss where i scrimped the money to afford it. Heres a bucket....."

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The growth got so bad a trailer was found growing as well.

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methinks a verse or two of 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor' is in order

 

"Who's that knocking on my door? Who's that knocking on my door?

Who's that knocking on my door?" said the fair Young Maiden...

 

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

Alternate Responses:

"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if my parents come home? What if my parents come home?

What if my parents come home?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"

Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?

What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?

Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?

Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What's that thing between your legs?" What's that thing between your legs?

"What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair young maiden.

 

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?

What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

Alternate Response:

"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?

What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!

I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?

What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!

I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?

What if you should go to jail?" said the fair young maiden.

 

"I'll swing me big balls, and knock down the walls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

Alternate Responses:

"I'll pick the lock with me cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I just got paid and I wanna get laid" said Barnacle Bill the sailor

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Yeah, it's is a hightec ship with winglets on the keel and very well maintained... only for you for a very reasonable price!

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

The best bait to use when fishing for muscles & Barncles for your seafood chowder? Why Beneteau Keel of Course!! :lol:

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but the designer said it is supposed to be 2" deeper... It'll sail better

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"a barnacle has the animal kingdom's largest penis in proportion to its body size, you know.

Get these fuckers horny, and this beast will foil, baby!"

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For Sale: Beneteau 235 great sails, no leaks, great electronics, well maintained, hasn't been hauled in a couple of seasons, might need it in a year or so... taking offers, acccepting cash

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"That's no leaner, That's a tea bagger"

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"Meh, its a Beneslow, you realise its not going to go any faster if we clean that right?"

 

"Caught Out! Anarchist spots BMWO skin friction reduction test boat with its skirts down"

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US Wildlife & Seafisheries:

 

Im afraid that as you have destroyed this beautiful and natural habitat we are going to have to press charges!

You can expect a minimum fine of $10,000 and potentially jail time too.

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i told you predator wasn't dead!!!! the alien failed us all! now we are doomed! be ware of the Benetau Predator! this one is even fiercer then the regular predator!

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Quick, someone call Chuck N for a visual interpretation!

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news Flash....some original drawings of Ben Lexen's designs have been found in Sweden and on water testing is about to commence !

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thought all you little bastards swimin would give us a knot or 2 extra

not eat me f....n boat!!!!!!!

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The apprentice enjoyed the walk to his first day working at the shipyard, although he wondered why his boss was laughed so much on the phone.

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PHRF SEZ

Beneteau 235 (MOD): Base rating 201, laminar keel mod (-33sec/mi), New Rating 168.

 

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

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and kids, this is what happens to your dick when you mess around with those truck stop prostitutes......

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that'll buff right out!

 

ed

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Alinghi reveals new biological keel with pulsing invertebrate power, plans to file lawsuit as legal in AC under Deed of Gift.

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Sir your New Boats ready to be picked up! Its a thing of BEAUTY and has that fast look of the future!

 

We gave her the latest in bottom treatments. She will never cleaning, polishing, scrubbing OR HAULING. We apply this stuff once, and its good for a life time. And it is the latest in Eco Friendly finishes. Plus the manufacture claims it will definitely lower your rating every year its on.

 

It is the best of both worlds really!! NO MAINTENANCE, ECO FRIENDLY! The only bottom job Green Peace, the Sierra Club, the Cousteau Society and the EPA have ever AGREED ON, APPROVED AND GUARANTEED to last, FOR EVER!

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Stability in heavy air has never been easier. Introducing the Eco-Reefing SystemTM, from Beneteau.

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I think I just saw Sponge Bob jump off that thing!

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the smell, the bottom hairs and the look reminds me of a party during key west week years ago when bottom shaving was not invented yet...

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Presenting Bénéteau "Coral Reef option" only 3459$ for the Oceanis line

 

Do you dream of sailing in new waters and experiencing the thrills of sailing, and the pleasure of coral reef diving? If you do than the newly introduced "coral reef option" is just what you are looking for. With the "coral reef option" for your Oceanis boat line you can now enjoy diving at a coral reef where ever you sail to. Now you don't have to sail to exotic places to enjoy coral reef diving, instead you can simply sail in your local area, anchor anywhere, put on your diving gear and voila! Enjoy the soothing and calming experience of coral reef diving, where ever you want, and when ever you want.

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"chowder power"

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

That's GOOD Gah!

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An example of why you should never buy a boat that's been used in salt water.

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Ernesto, we have to do something about your hemorhoids... you can't keep holding on to them like your bad ideas!

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We were trying to grow a pair of balls......

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Yep, sorry, it is the swine flu.

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After years of searching, finally proof of Cthulhu's existence was found.

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Welcome to the set of Zombieland. Our first stop is at the craft table.

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No, really, its called organic fairing. Still working out some bugs in the system.

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I don't think this is what they mean by "attached flow".

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After the sinking of the Black Pearl - Bootstrap Bill found a new home on a BendyToe.

 

keel.jpg

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Welcome to Discovery Channel. Today's top story... newly discovered form of life found in the depths of a lead mine!

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NOAA's new mandatory artificial reef program for all boats sailing the waters of Biscayne Bay and the Florida Keys.

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Boaters

 

Save money on expensive antifouling paints by using your keels as marine gardens.

 

Laugh your way through the recession with endless bowls of free chowder.

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Captain Kirk: Bones! Ya gotta help me!

 

Dr. McCoy: Jesus H. Christ Jim! How many times do I have to tell you - if the pussy is green, don't fuck it!!!

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Introducing the new Doug Lord-designed foiling keel boat with patent-pending organic micro foils! According to Mr. Lord: "Surface area is the key. Get enough surface area wedging the boat out of the water and *anything* will foil. My real innovation is the use of random organic foiling surfaces, which are much stronger than carbon fiber/resin composites and don't cost anything more than a coupla years of moorage fees and some patience. Calculations show this baby'll foil in 6 knots of south-east breeze, 8 knots if the breeze is north east (due to the Coriolis Effect--results opposite in the southern hemisphere)."

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This, children, shows the danger of being UN-CLEAN down there

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Introducing the latest and greatest in go fast tech: add depth and weight to your keel, break laminar flow, grow your own provisions, provides penicillin for after party rashes, and best of all its completely green!

 

order now and we'll throw in a matching rudder for free. All for the one easy payment of being too lazy to clean.

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To Sailmaker - "Yes, we are using the inboard leads, she still won't point."

 

Sailmaker - "You need a Code 0"

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Chuck,

 

The last form A was kicked back to me so here it is again.

 

As for Julian and this last email from you.

 

Julian has no business on the Race Course period.

He is not legal. You know it the other owners know it and the EC

knows it.

 

Julian has altered his Keel not once but twice without permission.

And he has made assumptions about his Keel. This in its self is not

legal. (see rule 1.1)

 

The EC should have acted on this issue a long time ago and as of

now done nothing and it looks like they will do nothing.

 

Julian has had every opportunity to correct the problem and has done nothing

but try and pussy foot around it. He has shown total disrespect and disregard to

you the EC and the Class on a National level. This alone is grounds for protest.

 

We have eye witnesses and Julian's on word that his Keel is not legal. We don't

need to pull his boat to prove it. If he cared and took the Class seriously and felt his

Keel was legal he would have called in the Tech and Measurement committee before he splashed his boat this year.

 

The EC has handled this whole thing very poorly and now Beneteau 36.7 Class Racing is becoming a joke. The word is out and it's starting to get embarrassing.

 

Please call me and lets see how we can put an end to this nonsense.

 

Richie

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Time for a full Brazillian on the lower bits.

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Before his career as an abstract artist, Jackson Pollock enjoyed a short stint drawing performance cruisers for a well-known yacht manufacturer. His immense contributions to yacht design remain underappreciated.

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Fast forward to 2013. The newly empowered America's Cup Trust unveils the prototype keel for the new AC Class. Trustee John Tommy Rosa says:

 

EASY AND QUICK TO CRITICIZE YOU ARE

 

ALL I DO IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL SAILORS AND THOSE WHO LOVE THE AC

 

YOU THINK THIS SLOW YOU ARE A SPY FOR OUR ENEMIES.

 

Official spokesman for the fledgling ATC, Peter Huston, says. "This revolutionary keel is approved by The Hague and demonstrates the completion of the entire design. We will unveil the rest of the new design when the AC Elders deem appropriate. The public has no right to see the design as the public has shown no support for our effort to return the America's Cup to its prior prominence."

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