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      Abbreviated rules   07/28/2017

      Underdawg did an excellent job of explaining the rules.  Here's the simplified version: Don't insinuate Pedo.  Warning and or timeout for a first offense.  PermaFlick for any subsequent offenses Don't out members.  See above for penalties.  Caveat:  if you have ever used your own real name or personal information here on the forums since, like, ever - it doesn't count and you are fair game. If you see spam posts, report it to the mods.  We do not hang out in every thread 24/7 If you see any of the above, report it to the mods by hitting the Report button in the offending post.   We do not take action for foul language, off-subject content, or abusive behavior unless it escalates to persistent stalking.  There may be times that we might warn someone or flick someone for something particularly egregious.  There is no standard, we will know it when we see it.  If you continually report things that do not fall into rules #1 or 2 above, you may very well get a timeout yourself for annoying the Mods with repeated whining.  Use your best judgement. Warnings, timeouts, suspensions and flicks are arbitrary and capricious.  Deal with it.  Welcome to anarchy.   If you are a newbie, there are unwritten rules to adhere to.  They will be explained to you soon enough.  

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Caption Contest

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

b_235_keel.jpg

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methinks a verse or two of 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor' is in order

 

"Who's that knocking on my door? Who's that knocking on my door?

Who's that knocking on my door?" said the fair Young Maiden...

 

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's only me from over the sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

Alternate Responses:

"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Fuck, open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Open the door, you fucking whore" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It's, me and I'm back from sea" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if my parents come home? What if my parents come home?

What if my parents come home?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll kill your pa and fuck your ma" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"

Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?

What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?

Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"To Hell with the dance! Now, off with your pants!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?

Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden....

 

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Hell no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in yon bed!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What's that thing between your legs?" What's that thing between your legs?

"What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair young maiden.

 

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"It is me pole to stick in your hole," says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?

What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

Alternate Response:

"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.

"I'll kill the bugger and fuck for another!" says Barnicle Bill the Sailor.

 

 

"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?

What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!

I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?

What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.

 

"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!

I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?

What if you should go to jail?" said the fair young maiden.

 

"I'll swing me big balls, and knock down the walls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

 

Alternate Responses:

"I'll pick the lock with me cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"I just got paid and I wanna get laid" said Barnacle Bill the sailor

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Yeah, it's is a hightec ship with winglets on the keel and very well maintained... only for you for a very reasonable price!

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

The best bait to use when fishing for muscles & Barncles for your seafood chowder? Why Beneteau Keel of Course!! :lol:

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but the designer said it is supposed to be 2" deeper... It'll sail better

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For Sale: Beneteau 235 great sails, no leaks, great electronics, well maintained, hasn't been hauled in a couple of seasons, might need it in a year or so... taking offers, acccepting cash

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"Meh, its a Beneslow, you realise its not going to go any faster if we clean that right?"

 

"Caught Out! Anarchist spots BMWO skin friction reduction test boat with its skirts down"

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US Wildlife & Seafisheries:

 

Im afraid that as you have destroyed this beautiful and natural habitat we are going to have to press charges!

You can expect a minimum fine of $10,000 and potentially jail time too.

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Quick, someone call Chuck N for a visual interpretation!

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PHRF SEZ

Beneteau 235 (MOD): Base rating 201, laminar keel mod (-33sec/mi), New Rating 168.

 

No really it's faster... It breaks up the laminar flow.

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Sir your New Boats ready to be picked up! Its a thing of BEAUTY and has that fast look of the future!

 

We gave her the latest in bottom treatments. She will never cleaning, polishing, scrubbing OR HAULING. We apply this stuff once, and its good for a life time. And it is the latest in Eco Friendly finishes. Plus the manufacture claims it will definitely lower your rating every year its on.

 

It is the best of both worlds really!! NO MAINTENANCE, ECO FRIENDLY! The only bottom job Green Peace, the Sierra Club, the Cousteau Society and the EPA have ever AGREED ON, APPROVED AND GUARANTEED to last, FOR EVER!

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Presenting Bénéteau "Coral Reef option" only 3459$ for the Oceanis line

 

Do you dream of sailing in new waters and experiencing the thrills of sailing, and the pleasure of coral reef diving? If you do than the newly introduced "coral reef option" is just what you are looking for. With the "coral reef option" for your Oceanis boat line you can now enjoy diving at a coral reef where ever you sail to. Now you don't have to sail to exotic places to enjoy coral reef diving, instead you can simply sail in your local area, anchor anywhere, put on your diving gear and voila! Enjoy the soothing and calming experience of coral reef diving, where ever you want, and when ever you want.

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

That's GOOD Gah!

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Ernesto, we have to do something about your hemorhoids... you can't keep holding on to them like your bad ideas!

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Welcome to the set of Zombieland. Our first stop is at the craft table.

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This one is a beauty! A Beneteau 235 that clearly has missed a few bottom cleanings..Would the anarchist who sent this in please get back to us - we lost your info! Let's make this a Caption Contest - we have some cool shirts from our friends at Ocean Trek Adventures for the best five. Have fun!

 

 

Welcome to Discovery Channel. Today's top story... newly discovered form of life found in the depths of a lead mine!

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Captain Kirk: Bones! Ya gotta help me!

 

Dr. McCoy: Jesus H. Christ Jim! How many times do I have to tell you - if the pussy is green, don't fuck it!!!

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Introducing the new Doug Lord-designed foiling keel boat with patent-pending organic micro foils! According to Mr. Lord: "Surface area is the key. Get enough surface area wedging the boat out of the water and *anything* will foil. My real innovation is the use of random organic foiling surfaces, which are much stronger than carbon fiber/resin composites and don't cost anything more than a coupla years of moorage fees and some patience. Calculations show this baby'll foil in 6 knots of south-east breeze, 8 knots if the breeze is north east (due to the Coriolis Effect--results opposite in the southern hemisphere)."

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Introducing the latest and greatest in go fast tech: add depth and weight to your keel, break laminar flow, grow your own provisions, provides penicillin for after party rashes, and best of all its completely green!

 

order now and we'll throw in a matching rudder for free. All for the one easy payment of being too lazy to clean.

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