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#1 Bob Perry

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 03:58 PM

Why am I telling you this?
Because it is important.
Go home.
Hug your kid and tell him you,love them. Tell them seveal times.
A vital kid that a week ago weas giving me shit ais a now dea. DEAD.
Yes, I* have been dinking.
I have the best of all excuses.
But I still have to wake up tomoorow.
How unreal is that?

So go on you fuck heads with your stupid ac posts and think about what is important in life. I have lost my kid. That isi important.

Go ahead attack me. You cannot touch me right now.
I hurt.
Fuck all of this. Fuck everything.

#2 Stingray

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:01 PM

Heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

#3 easyrider

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:04 PM

Hang in there Bob.

#4 davidprobable

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:06 PM

Deepest condolences Bob .......... there is nothing worse in life ....... pictures and memories are a comfort but sadly not enough..........everybody in and about SA will feel your pain and value their loved one's knowing that can also be gone in an instant............so many medical advances and yet one little virus wins out...............a tragedy.

#5 sailsd

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:06 PM

My heartfelt condolences for this tragic loss. No one should have to lose a child. It is just not meant to be.

#6 playthegame

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:10 PM

There are no words for a loss like this. I'm very sorry, Bob Perry.

#7 SW Sailor

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:11 PM

Bob,

This is devastating news and one of the most difficult things a parent could ever face. Thanks for the sound advice, and hang in there.

Your participation here is welcome.

My sincere condolences.

Best,

SW

#8 Alpina

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:13 PM

Unreal that you post in a forum that concerns a stupid boatrace when your world is upside down, my condolences...

#9 BS1

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:15 PM

No one can speak as to how you feel unless they have been there, I have been there, I am so sorry.....

#10 Tornado-Cat

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:17 PM

All my condelences Bob.

This is far more important news than sailing.

Thanks for the advices, we have to have it reminded sometimes, and we hope to see you back here.

#11 ~HHN92~

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:24 PM

This is the second death of someone's child, nearly the same age, that I have heard and been around in the last two weeks. It is not supposed to be that way.

I am truly saddened to hear of this news in your family's life. We appreciate your presence around here, your contributions, and it is now us who wish to offer you our support in your time of need.

Please take care.



#12 Rennmaus

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:28 PM

My deepest sympathy and the heartfelt wish for strength in these devastating times go out to you. I hope you have good friends and family who help you to cope with this tragedy. Words cannot express what this loss means... I'm so sorry.

#13 PeterHuston

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:35 PM

Bob....you are correct on all fronts. There is nothing any one can say that will ease your pain at this time. All that could be said is that you are one of the more enlightened people within the SA community, always a voice of calm and reason, and your son was no doubt exactly the same. I just told one of your customers about your loss, and he just told me a story about how when you two would be driving somewhere you always told stories about your son and how proud you are of him.

Tornado Cat, DRTB2,, SWS and MSP....I hope you are paying attention to what Bob just said. Chill on the hate. Life is too short and too often cut way to short for reasons we don't understand.

#14 Dixie

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:44 PM

This story makes me so sad for you and you are one hundred percent correct. It's just a boat race!

I am deeply saddened by your incomprehensible loss. My condolences to you and your family.

#15 Bob Perry

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:47 PM

Spike was a sailor.
he was born sailing.
You didn't have to tell him anything.
He was just was there doing the job.That's He grew up that way.

He was there when they did the fiort oven cure on CON in Nz
He called me, "guess where I am?"

I kissed his cold body night.
Now I'm sitting here contempsteng a life without Spike.

It's been 7 hours,I'm a wee bit angry at thos point.

Don't ever have to go though this.

#16 hump101

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 04:49 PM

So sorry Bob, it isn't right. We lost our son two years ago. It never gets any easier, but over time you get better able to deal with it. Nothing is a consolation, whatever anyone says.

#17 Indio

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 07:36 PM

We all share your sorrow and tragic loss Bob: words just sound so inadequate to express sympathy with someone who's suffered such pain and emptiness. Condolences to you and your family.

#18 LeoV

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 07:58 PM

All the best Bob, no words about how you will feel, what you should do, etc , worthless....

#19 Brutal

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 08:04 PM

Peace to you and your family, Bob... No parent should have to see their child pass before them...

You and your family have my deepest, most heartfelt condolences...


Brutal

#20 moon unit

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 08:13 PM

Parents should not outlive their children.
My deepest sympathies for you and your family Bob.

#21 KiwiJoker

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 09:47 PM

Bob, my heartfelt condolences. With the terrible news of your loss, I'm unable to reach for adequate words. Just know that all of us here, including the mavericks, share your pain.

#22 Bob Perry

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 09:48 PM

Thanks you guys.
Right now I am a bit numb.

My "family" is the world of sailing. I thought I could do some best to me by sharing this.
I am hurting. I'm not sure what it will feel like to wake up tomorrow.
I am not looking forward to it.

#23 Xlot

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 09:54 PM

For what it's worth, we share a small portion of your pain

#24 b6sfull

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 10:21 PM

Bob, I am fairly new to SA and I must say that I have really enjoyed reading your insight here and of course in other publications that you contribute to. I have certainly gained a lot of respect for your knowledge and contributions to this sport to people you have not even met on a personal basis, including myself.

When I read that you lost your son today, it became personal to all of us. My wife, Jenn and I pass on our condolences to you and your family in this time of sorrow. This sailing community morns.

Stuart

#25 ~HHN92~

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 10:56 PM

Thanks you guys.
Right now I am a bit numb.

My "family" is the world of sailing. I thought I could do some best to me by sharing this.
I am hurting. I'm not sure what it will feel like to wake up tomorrow.
I am not looking forward to it.


Bob,

Just make sure you do wake up tomorrow. Your son would want you to. It won't be easy, but each day will get somewhat easier/better.

A lady I used to work with lost her 12yo daughter in much the same manner. We all around the office watched her grow-up. Every year she would come around the office and sell Girl Scout cookies (I still have the last box of Thin Mints that was on my desk at that time). We all knew her, full of spunk but not a bad kid at all, just energetic. Always thinking of others. She came down 'sick' her mother thought and she did the usual things a mother would do. But, she did not get better and her temperature stayed high. Finally she decided that she had to take her to the emergency room. She was in our office to let us know what was going-on and Emmy was there with her mother looking like any really sick kid would. Next thing we know later that day she is being air lifted to All Children's Hospital in critical condition. Later that day we get the news that she may not make it. Two days later she was gone, 12 years old. The school where she attended raised funds, got materials donated from Lowes, and created a permanent memorial to her. The funeral was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed. Our whole office shut down, which had never happened.

It took a while, but her mother eventually gained the strength to start back to a somewhat 'normal' life, returning to work, etc.

It will take a while, deservedly so, to get back to a functioning state. It will never be the same. But I would guess your son would want you to continue on.

And you will too.

As stated, our words are only worth so much, but I hope the power of good will being sent your way will be felt to aid in your time of distress. Hopefuly we can create a shoulder big enough to lean on.

We're all with you, Bob.

#26 rule69

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 10:56 PM

For whatever they may be worth you have my heartfelt condolences.

#27 diverg

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 11:06 PM

Bob, I'm so sorry for your loss.

#28 flyingdog

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 11:41 PM

Bob, I'm crying with you...

#29 ~HHN92~

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:17 AM

Green Grass and High Tides.

Listening to the Outlaws right now, and for some reason this one always brings a tear........................................







#30 isma

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:26 AM

Bob,
Words fail in so many situations but none more than this.

I am so sorry. I lost a child years ago and the only advice I can give is to get counseling. I spent a year hating everything and everyone until I came to grips with the reality of the situation...and nothing has ever been more real.

You and your family are in my prayers.

#31 Martin X Moleski SJ

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:23 AM

Condolences and prayers for you, Spike, your family, and all who knew and loved him.

Bad things happen to good people ...

Marty

#32 Guitar

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 05:15 AM

Bob,
As most people, I am at a loss for words. Your world has been part of the SA world.
A really heartfelt condolences to you and your family from me and mine.

I am sure you and others will appreciate the special life Spike enjoy while walking with mere mortals and sailing with the likes of you, your family and friends.

Most would be in envy I am sure. Fair winds Spike, following seas.

Rick

#33 furling

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:09 AM

I have 2 sons Bob, i would hate to feel your pain, i am so sorry..

#34 STYACHT

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 08:43 PM

Unimaginable. Utterly tragic. I got nothing at all to write in response to such an awful piece of news. A few expletives have been tried, but don't do it justice. As a father, nothing to do but honor your request not to lose sight of what matters.

#35 scassani

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 10:11 PM

There is no greater tragedy than that a parent should outlive a child. You have two lives to make good; don't waste any time getting started.

#36 Tornado-Cat

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 11:49 PM

Whe I saw this video I thought of you, waking up this morning. So, right or wrong, I post it. Beautiful...

http://www.dailymoti...ngston-go_music

#37 lartaunt

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:47 PM

As a parent, as a sailor, I mourn with you. One step at a time is the only way to move forward. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

#38 HeavilyDoctoredSailor

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 02:35 PM

Bob,

don't know you personally, but still wanted to send my deepest condolences.

#39 Tom O'Keefe

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 03:46 PM

Bob,
We've only met once during the commissioning of Stealth Chicken at the yard I managed. I got the impression that you really care about the important things in life. I'm truely sorry for your loss. Let the good memories shine through to help you get beyond this tragedy.

#40 k2mav

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 06:31 PM

Bob

Reality check for many us, I'm truly sorry man.
I have two little kids, and your post hit me too hard like anything else before regarding them.

My prayers with you.
Martin-

#41 GauchoGreg

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 06:45 PM

Deepest condolences.

#42 rico

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 02:35 AM

Tears. So sorry man. Can't imagine.

#43 Captain Morgan

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 03:33 AM

Along with many others, I can't even begin to imagine what you are dealing with. My sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your family. 8 Bells.

#44 Bob Perry

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 03:10 PM

thanks all.

Attached Files



#45 mr_fabulous

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 03:23 PM

thanks all.


Bob, we do not know each other, but I thought that I would share my thoughts with you. If it is any consolation whatsoever to you, I am thinking of my sons, our times together, on boats and with family.

Last night, while in the den tuning the 18 yo's triathlon road bike derailleur, my two boys decided to see if they could slice a stalk of celery using the bike spokes, Why the bike was there and how they didn't think that it would result in a mess all over the place did not really matter very much.

My hope is that your family and memories provide the consolation needed to endure such an unbearable loss.

#46 Bob Perry

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 03:42 PM

Mr. Fabulous:
I'll tell you a Spike story. He was very creative.
I bought him a miniature hamster, an ugly little thing but he wanted it.
One night he came out of his room crying and bnleeding rom his hand. "It bit me!"
I asked him what he did to it "Nothing"

I went into his bedroom and there was a string strung accross the room with a little car hanging from it.
And there was the hamster with scotch tape accross it's back.
Spike had been trying to tape the hamster into the car and shoot it accross the room.

#47 jerry ehrlich

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:03 PM


we know how deeply you love life
unknowable pain
you are not alone

#48 eric e

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 09:41 PM

there but for the grace of god

go us all

we are not well designed for this grief

as it strikes at the very reason for our existence

very sorry Bob

will raise a glass to spike

son and sailor

tonight

#49 Rollo Hartstrom

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Posted 06 April 2011 - 02:01 AM

Words cannot convey the grief you all must feel, however take solace in the fact you had a son to be proud of and have a loving family in which to nurture him into the man that he was to become. He will be missed by many and remembered by all whom he touched, if ever so briefly.
Our deepest condolences Bob and family: Rollo Hartstrom and family.

#50 Paps

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Posted 06 April 2011 - 10:32 AM

Isnt it interesting how many have posted in this thread that are not usual posters. They avoid the limelight but follow this thread, Im assuming they are interested in the cup but not in the political shit fight. Thank you all.

#51 Hank Chinaski

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Posted 09 April 2011 - 01:22 AM

Bob,
You'd have no reason to remember me but we've been in the same place a few times. I owned a Bystedt 30 and raced on Icon with Max. Often times I look at my own son and pray I never have to go through what you are. I'm so very sorry.




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