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#1 El Mariachi

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:16 AM

So now I'm on ten acres of pines, palms, oaks and grass with my nearest neighbor three hundred yards away, instead of surrounded by asphalt, Angelenos, sirens, taxaholic polis and gang bangers. I now have to hit a switch to get H2O to come out of the ground and pour out the tap. It's off-yellow, but tastes ok. My doo-doo now goes into a huge plastic holding tank that's buried somewhere down near Hades. There's bugs here that resemble those of Costa Rica. Electricity is twice what Kali charges. 911 responders are probably at least 25 minutes away. I'm a bit concerned about fire (though I could easily drive the Suburban through all the wire fences around me if the S ever HTF), given that half the property is covered in lodge pole pines, surrounded by a metric shit ton of pine needles (that the deer use for matresses), the surface dirt around here is actually like sugar sand, I know it rains at least twenty inches a year, lightening strikes will be a definite occurance eventually, there's six endangered Gopher tortoises living in burrows, I might soon have a pet chamelean, there's a ton of tiny meat-eating ants that bite like shit and Saki the Wonder Dawg has managed to already find 3 million of the four million burr/sticker thingys that fall off of some plant that grows around here. Groceries are 30% more than Hell-A, everyone I've met is nicer than a horny nun, gas is $3.85 (as opposed to $4.35), the fishing looks fuktastic, the air is clean, the ocean is warm, I haven't worn anything but shorts & go-heads since I got here, put up some paper targets a while ago and shot the shit out of them (without a single appearance by either the neighbors nor the cops), they sell Fin-Nor reels, turkey callers and .300 Savage at the gas station up the road and there's about 46,521,978,472,661 stars up in the sky.

What the fuck could possibly go wrong?.....

#2 puffyjman

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:22 AM

Have ya met the local mesquito population yet?

And remember EM your "cracker" status has to be earned. ;)

#3 Ishmael

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:24 AM

So how close to the beach are you?

#4 silent bob

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:27 AM

Paddle faster. I hear banjoes!

#5 El Mariachi

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:35 AM

So how close to the beach are you?



Eleven and a half minutes.......

#6 tq2000

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:36 AM

It may take you a while to get used to the silence at night. Get a noisy fan til you get used to it.

#7 Ishmael

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:44 AM


So how close to the beach are you?



Eleven and a half minutes.......


On foot, or Vincent Black Shadow?

#8 A_guy_in_the_Chesapeake

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:47 AM

So now I'm on ten acres of pines, palms, oaks and grass with my nearest neighbor three hundred yards away, instead of surrounded by asphalt, Angelenos, sirens, taxaholic polis and gang bangers. I now have to hit a switch to get H2O to come out of the ground and pour out the tap. It's off-yellow, but tastes ok. My doo-doo now goes into a huge plastic holding tank that's buried somewhere down near Hades. There's bugs here that resemble those of Costa Rica. Electricity is twice what Kali charges. 911 responders are probably at least 25 minutes away. I'm a bit concerned about fire (though I could easily drive the Suburban through all the wire fences around me if the S ever HTF), given that half the property is covered in lodge pole pines, surrounded by a metric shit ton of pine needles (that the deer use for matresses), the surface dirt around here is actually like sugar sand, I know it rains at least twenty inches a year, lightening strikes will be a definite occurance eventually, there's six endangered Gopher tortoises living in burrows, I might soon have a pet chamelean, there's a ton of tiny meat-eating ants that bite like shit and Saki the Wonder Dawg has managed to already find 3 million of the four million burr/sticker thingys that fall off of some plant that grows around here. Groceries are 30% more than Hell-A, everyone I've met is nicer than a horny nun, gas is $3.85 (as opposed to $4.35), the fishing looks fuktastic, the air is clean, the ocean is warm, I haven't worn anything but shorts & go-heads since I got here, put up some paper targets a while ago and shot the shit out of them (without a single appearance by either the neighbors nor the cops), they sell Fin-Nor reels, turkey callers and .300 Savage at the gas station up the road and there's about 46,521,978,472,661 stars up in the sky.

What the fuck could possibly go wrong?.....


Hurricanes and Mosquitoes - and the meth-lab lads that you pissed off remindin' 'em to tip their hats to the lady.
Seriously Rick - I hope that your new digs work out great for ya - got room for a couple tents on the lawn?
(you gotta buy a couple boats now - a jon Boat will work 'til ya get your flats skiff - and a good Kayak is a must too)

Paddle faster. I hear banjoes!


Shoot - them boys are with us, they're OK!



So how close to the beach are you?



Eleven and a half minutes.......


On foot, or Vincent Black Shadow?


Ooohh - you can't talk like that without posting pics! The Vincent Black Shadow is the one bike I lust after that will probably never sit in my garage.

#9 Pete M

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:48 AM

mud dauber wasps - welcome to hell

ticks and chiggers too

got none of those things in coastal california

#10 DRIFTW00D

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:51 AM

Posted Image


Posted Image


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#11 Rasputin22

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:02 AM

Welcome to the Redneck Riviera!

#12 hard aground

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:08 AM

Gaytor could move in next door.

#13 DRIFTW00D

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:20 AM

Posted Image



#14 mikewof

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:21 AM

mud dauber wasps - welcome to hell

ticks and chiggers too

got none of those things in coastal california


I didn't mind the mud wasps. But the Velvet Ants, sweet mother of the holy beer bong, those things are hell. Wingless wasps, wandering through the grass, stingers the size of sewing needles, nearly impossible to kill.

They call 'em "cow killers."

Posted Image

#15 Point Break

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:36 AM

Chiggers suck..............and remember "red next to yellow kills a fellow"........I think.

#16 bmiller

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:40 AM

Lat/Long so we can google earth the new homestead? Or is it top secret?

#17 mustang__1

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:46 AM

the surf sucks on the west coast. im not a surfer, but, id be hard-pressed to see any decent waves out there short of a fucking hurricane...

#18 zerothehero

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 03:17 AM

pan handle waves are OK every now and then. Red Ants are hell

#19 DA-WOODY

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 03:45 AM

What the fuck could possibly go wrong?.....


You been missed back home at the beach ??? Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

Hope you stayed on the good side of CAT-5

let me know if ya find any of those bitchin old cars/trucks w floats people run over from Cuba in

No Income-Tax in FL so I hear

but it's actually just like kalifornia No-Income = No -Income-Tax

did you leave the Nurse back at work in KA. ??

#20 Silverbullet

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 08:16 AM

What the fuck could possibly go wrong?.....


Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image

#21 jkdubs808

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:02 AM

Leave Waffle House out if this.........that place is the shit.

Welcome to FL Rico! When can I come over to the new digs?

#22 GRUMPY

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:22 AM

Congrats Boothy. Good luck to you.

#23 Snaggletooth

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:19 AM

Congrats Boothy. Good luck to you.

Plusse oune! Goode Lucke withe niew diggs!! :)

#24 Figment

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:24 PM

I need that hat. Pronto.

#25 mad

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:55 PM

Good news Rick, makes it a shorter flight for when the times right to come and annoy (drink your booze, shoot all your ammo etc) you. :P

#26 doghouse

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:02 PM

Yeehaw.

#27 The Shadow

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:05 PM

Seems I now got a place to stay in FLA.

#28 Snaggletooth

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:12 PM

Seems I now got a place to stay in FLA.

Ist theire a SA bunke howse?? :)

#29 ropetrick

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:20 PM


Seems I now got a place to stay in FLA.

Ist theire a SA bunke howse?? :)


That would be the Econoline up on blocks. It is out in the weeds past the two-holer.

Good luck Boothy.

#30 Timo42

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:32 PM

Pics...

#31 DA-WOODY

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 04:38 PM

R.B. 11 miles in from the sea

how high up are ya from the surge-line (doesn't it come up like 24' w the storms)

anyway if you get into local crafts I'd like som Shoes - Belt and a set of Suitcases in soft Gaytor Belly if you don't mind

Oh and does speaking Mexican help converse w those speaking only Cuban ??

#32 Mike in Seattle

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 04:48 PM

anyway if you get into local crafts I'd like som Shoes - Belt and a set of Suitcases in soft Gaytor Belly if you don't mind



:angry: wait just uno minuette, Woody !


I have long standing previous "dibbs" on that hide.

#33 GRUMPY

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 04:58 PM

You got plans for this 10 acres Rick? Dragon fruit? Durian? Pot? :P

#34 Timo42

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 05:33 PM

If you don't show us pics, we will just have to guess...
Posted Image



#35 El Mariachi

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 05:39 PM

If you don't show us pics, we will just have to guess...
Posted Image


Hey, Pal, aren't you 'sposed to be fixing a certain Suburban right now?.....

#36 Timo42

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:14 PM

Heater valve is leaking, gotta run an injector balance test, misfire 3 and 5, Ford plugs? really?:rolleyes:

#37 Wreck™

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:30 PM

Buy a Banjo


Better

#38 El Mariachi

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:33 PM

Heater valve is leaking, gotta run an injector balance test, misfire 3 and 5, Ford plugs? really?:rolleyes:


That's what she gets for parking next to the crate full of Bronco shit..... :lol:

#39 Dorado

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:42 PM

Dont let The Swamp Lady get you.

She's an old witch that lives up the river that's been terrorizing little kids in Northern Florida for the last 100 years or so.

Still gives me the willies :o



Fly rod / popping bugs for bluegill and bass is a must have. Along with a Jonboat :)

#40 Wreck™

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:45 PM

That's what she gets for parking next to the crate full of Bronco shit..... :lol:

WTF, you moved to FLA left coast boy?

By the way, I've traveled the FL-GA-SC-NC-VA Intracoastal waterway several times, it can be interesting as hell.

Good on ya.

#41 jimbot

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:53 PM

Got a gun rack?

#42 kmccabe

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:53 PM

So now I'm on ten acres of pines, palms, oaks and grass with my nearest neighbor three hundred yards away, instead of surrounded by asphalt, Angelenos, sirens, taxaholic polis and gang bangers. I now have to hit a switch to get H2O to come out of the ground and pour out the tap. It's off-yellow, but tastes ok. My doo-doo now goes into a huge plastic holding tank that's buried somewhere down near Hades. There's bugs here that resemble those of Costa Rica. Electricity is twice what Kali charges. 911 responders are probably at least 25 minutes away. I'm a bit concerned about fire (though I could easily drive the Suburban through all the wire fences around me if the S ever HTF), given that half the property is covered in lodge pole pines, surrounded by a metric shit ton of pine needles (that the deer use for matresses), the surface dirt around here is actually like sugar sand, I know it rains at least twenty inches a year, lightening strikes will be a definite occurance eventually, there's six endangered Gopher tortoises living in burrows, I might soon have a pet chamelean, there's a ton of tiny meat-eating ants that bite like shit and Saki the Wonder Dawg has managed to already find 3 million of the four million burr/sticker thingys that fall off of some plant that grows around here. Groceries are 30% more than Hell-A, everyone I've met is nicer than a horny nun, gas is $3.85 (as opposed to $4.35), the fishing looks fuktastic, the air is clean, the ocean is warm, I haven't worn anything but shorts & go-heads since I got here, put up some paper targets a while ago and shot the shit out of them (without a single appearance by either the neighbors nor the cops), they sell Fin-Nor reels, turkey callers and .300 Savage at the gas station up the road and there's about 46,521,978,472,661 stars up in the sky.

What the fuck could possibly go wrong?.....


First off - breathe - and thank god you're no longer in the *hithole of California.

Second - welcome to the East Coast - you will need to wake up (as defined by the 'have a job crowd') at 7 am East Coast Time..

Third - sell your other toys and get some real stuff (and you know what I mean).

#43 austin1972

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 07:27 PM

That would be the Econoline up on blocks. It is out in the weeds past the two-holer.

Good luck Boothy.


Two-holer? Man, that's high falutin'!
Some folks have all the nice stuff.

#44 Dorado

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 09:45 PM

Learn how to identify the sassafras tree. You can pull up the young saplings and make a killer tea by boiling the roots.

Have you stripped a little stinging nettle plant between your toes yet, whilst walking around barefoot ??? :blink:

#45 puffyjman

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:12 PM

Learn how to identify the sassafras tree. You can pull up the young saplings and make a killer tea by boiling the roots.

Have you stripped a little stinging nettle plant between your toes yet, whilst walking around barefoot ??? :blink:



Hate those fucking stinging nettles.

I say he moves back by the second week of Sept. when he lives the phrase "its not the heat, it the humidity...." :P

#46 Dorado

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:50 PM

Dont eat them mushrooms you find growing in the cowpies :D

#47 Rasputin22

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:15 PM


That's what she gets for parking next to the crate full of Bronco shit..... :lol:

WTF, you moved to FLA left coast boy?

By the way, I've traveled the FL-GA-SC-NC-VA Intracoastal waterway several times, it can be interesting as hell.

Good on ya.


The accepted term is 'Third Coast' although 'Redneck Riviera' might be more appropriate. Actually it does have its redeeming qualities. Welcome Mariachi!

#48 Rasputin22

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:22 PM

Learn how to identify the sassafras tree. You can pull up the young saplings and make a killer tea by boiling the roots.

Have you stripped a little stinging nettle plant between your toes yet, whilst walking around barefoot ??? :blink:


Forget the sassafras, thats for wimps. Look for the Trumpet Flower and make some tea with that. It will take you all the way back to 'The Summer of Love' but just don't drink too much! This is the stuff that they use in the Islands to create Zombies! Not joking...We had a real case of this happen to a kid that took too much and he just stumbled around for years. Seems that the bush is related to Datura and grows readily all along the Gulf Coast. Might be a big hit back in LA!

#49 boomer

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:41 PM

Pix???

#50 Bowgirl

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:51 PM

Well now there's no excuse for not visiting ... There's a certain regatta up here on Columbus Day weekend that should be marked on your calendar NOW. Then you get to choose when we come stir things up down there with you & the Nurse.

Happy Settling-In!

#51 El Mariachi

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 01:17 AM

Today was a good day;

Found a h/duty water filter for the well.

Got the shop kinda set up where it'll work okay.

Got the stereo set up.

Saved a skink from being devoured by Saki.

Set up some paper zombies and fired about a hundred rounds of .22 thru them.

Dodged some big assed storm that I guess changed course at the last minute towards Tally.

Made a dozen Shiftsters. Sold nine of them.

Didn't get bit or stung by anything.

Watched some beetle roll a deer turd for about six feet. 'Til I got bored shitless, turned to leave and stepped on a cactus. How the fuk do cactus, pygmy palms & pine trees live in harmonious harmony, four miles from the ocean anyways?

Learned what a 'fence stretcher' is.

Schooled the two gals at the local store here on why it's a serious crime against humanity to not supply sliced jalapenos with their hotdogs. And to get them to start cooking 'em at 0630, instead of nine. 'Cuz jalapeno hotdogs at sunrise are actually better than eggs & sausage.



Gotta go to big 'The City' tomorrow for supplies, a haircut, find a post office and a CNC guy. Good times...... :P

#52 gina

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:42 AM

Today was a good day;

<snip>

Saved a skink from being devoured by Saki.

<snip>


Carl Hiaasen welcomes you to Florida :P

#53 mikewof

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

Gotta go to big 'The City' tomorrow for supplies, a haircut, find a post office and a CNC guy. Good times...... :P


Ever considered buying a CNC mill? You can make your own tooling, gun parts, whatever.

#54 grabbler

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 01:56 PM

Sounds like ya got it all dialled in Rico.......except for the frogs to sing you to sleep....

Lemme know where you ended up, me and Jr. might swing over and replenish your jalapeno venison summer sausage supply.... :P

#55 El Mariachi

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:

#56 dyslexic dog

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:19 PM

Chiggers suck..............and remember "red next to yellow kills a fellow"........I think.


Red on black- friend to Jack. Red on Yellow, kills a fellow.

#57 ancientseawolf

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:31 PM

Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:


Is that before or after the Taylor?

#58 El Mariachi

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:52 PM


Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:


Is that before or after the Taylor?



Ten miles west by road, about six as the albatross flies. I really like it here....especially when you can buy jalapeno hotdogs, cheap beer and .30-.30 cartridges from the gas station.... :lol:

#59 kmccabe

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 02:55 PM



Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:


Is that before or after the Taylor?



Ten miles west by road, about six as the albatross flies. I really like it here....especially when you can buy jalapeno hotdogs, cheap beer and .30-.30 cartridges from the gas station.... :lol:


that's the way it used to be in my hometown Rico - people's 'sensibilities' were offended - God Bless you for grabbing a little slice of normal.

#60 plchacker

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 04:56 PM

Hey Rico, It is funny seeing the list of things here. In truth, The snakes are a non-issue, except for cotton mouths, they are bad ass. Rattle snakes will avoid you unless you step on them. Not too many copperheads down here. Coral snakes are very difficult to find. My guess is that you will never actually encounter one. I have not in all my time traipsing around. Gators, well we have an excellent example to go by. Kids and pets have the most to fear with gators. Just don't piss off a mama gator during hatching season. Other than that, they taste pretty damn good.

The damn bugs are just annoying. You get use to them after a while. To kill a red ant (Fire ant) hill use a piece of 1/2 inch pipe to jab a deep hole in the mound, then drop in a M80 and get out of the way. It does the job better than any bait. Gas and fire work as well, but the environmental freaks do not approve. Aside from the ants, yellow jackets are probably the worst bug you will encounter. They build their nests under ground. There are usually two entrances to the nest. Take a Coke bottle (12 oz) fill it with gas then insert the inverted bottle into the entrance of the nest, both if possible. That will kill the nest in a few minutes. Trust me, you gotta be fast with this trick, but it works. The Cow Ants are for real. They are solitary critters, just leave them alone and they will not bother you. During love bug season stay off the road during daylight hours if possible.

There is one critter that you must avoid at all costs. It is the most irritating, and can be deadly in certain situations. You will not be completely able to avoid them, and they do travel in groups. Unfortunately, killing them is not an easy nor particularly desirable option. They tend to be migratory, though, like humming birds some tend to set up residence longer than they should. They are easy to recognize, and avoidance is again the best solution. Stay away from Walmart and other discount stores during the season. Avoid cheap well known/chain restaurants like the plague. Find an out of the way place to get gas, and above all stay clear of the interstate during the season. SNOWBIRDS are death I tell ya, walking irritation. There is only one cure that I have found. Lots of your favorite libation.

Welcome to the Gulf, We'll have to share a beer sometime.

#61 grabbler

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 04:58 PM



Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:


Is that before or after the Taylor?



Ten miles west by road, about six as the albatross flies. I really like it here....especially when you can buy jalapeno hotdogs, cheap beer and .30-.30 cartridges from the gas station.... :lol:


Just make sure they're stocked up on High Life

Posted Image

#62 mikewof

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 05:05 PM

I love this thread. As pure a West Coaster as had ever been, discovering the awesomeness of The Belt.

PLC ... kids just got back from kin in Daphne, they want to move there. Older daughter came into airport wearing "throwed rolls" t-shirt!

#63 bmiller

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 05:19 PM

Bring it, Deer Boy. 98 East, turn right at Hampton Springs.... :lol:



OK so I goggle mapped the area and all I found was an abandoned hotel and a "correctional facility".


Cool hand Booth?

#64 kmccabe

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 05:42 PM

What we have here is a failure to BBQ...

#65 Rasputin22

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 05:48 PM

You're gonna need this...



http://www.flickr.co...@N04/4150078483

#66 Mike in Seattle

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 06:04 PM

Have you stripped a little stinging nettle plant between your toes yet

nyuk nyuk nyuk,,, We have those too, in PNW


, got my ass kicked (as a ranch kid) when I ran the tractor over one of those underground yellow jacket nests.




Rico, ya gotta get some bib overalls, and a muzzleloader.

#67 DA-WOODY

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 06:33 PM

when the coyotes all run off w their tails tucked

you can pretty much not have to worrie about the gaytors

as the SWAMP THING IS COMING !!!!!!!!!!! Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

Posted Image

#68 craigiri

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 06:50 PM

Waffle house is my fav grease place - once a year when I go down south.....

So where is this place? Maybe you are neighbors with my sis and BIL, who live in Belle, FL? Nah, they are further from the beach. If you are 12 minutes from a beach, you are in civilization...no matter what you think.

The main deal is to figure out which mushrooms are the good ones. Also, the local vittles are not exactly of S. Kali quality, so get used to eating strawberries and tomatos with ZERO taste. The citrus is good though.

Find the closest Sweet Tomatoes and get the coupons and you'll be set.

Other than that, say hi to the Beef Cows for us.

#69 craigiri

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 06:52 PM

Ten miles west by road, about six as the albatross flies. I really like it here....especially when you can buy jalapeno hotdogs, cheap beer and .30-.30 cartridges from the gas station.... :lol:


My sis says their entire supermarket is IN their gas station......
Sorta funny for a spoiled brat like my sis.

Let us know how the food is......Bubbas BBQ will be OK, but that's probably about it.

#70 craigiri

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 07:05 PM

So how close to the beach are you?

Eleven and a half minutes.......


Google doesn't show anything near there resembling a beach.........that's the "lost coast" of FL........

Is this the closest sand beach and marina?
http://keatonbeachmarina.com/

Boats too! Place looks nice!
http://keatonbeachmarina.com/photo%20gallery.html

#71 Windward

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 08:16 PM

The damn bugs are just annoying. You get use to them after a while. To kill a red ant (Fire ant) hill use a piece of 1/2 inch pipe to jab a deep hole in the mound, then drop in a M80 and get out of the way. It does the job better than any bait. Gas and fire work as well, but the environmental freaks do not approve. Aside from the ants, yellow jackets are probably the worst bug you will encounter. They build their nests under ground. There are usually two entrances to the nest. Take a Coke bottle (12 oz) fill it with gas then insert the inverted bottle into the entrance of the nest, both if possible. That will kill the nest in a few minutes. Trust me, you gotta be fast with this trick, but it works. The Cow Ants are for real. They are solitary critters, just leave them alone and they will not bother you. During love bug season stay off the road during daylight hours if possible.



What the heck is a " During love bug season " Herbie?

#72 puffyjman

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 10:54 PM




The damn bugs are just annoying. You get use to them after a while. To kill a red ant (Fire ant) hill use a piece of 1/2 inch pipe to jab a deep hole in the mound, then drop in a M80 and get out of the way. It does the job better than any bait. Gas and fire work as well, but the environmental freaks do not approve. Aside from the ants, yellow jackets are probably the worst bug you will encounter. They build their nests under ground. There are usually two entrances to the nest. Take a Coke bottle (12 oz) fill it with gas then insert the inverted bottle into the entrance of the nest, both if possible. That will kill the nest in a few minutes. Trust me, you gotta be fast with this trick, but it works. The Cow Ants are for real. They are solitary critters, just leave them alone and they will not bother you. During love bug season stay off the road during daylight hours if possible.



What the heck is a " During love bug season " Herbie?

It's these little bug that are fucking all the time and they come out by the millions around spring. The little fuckers get splated all over the front of your car and if you let them sit on there too long they are impossible to wash off. If you don't get em off in time their blood contains some highly corrosive acid that eats the paint off your ride.
No shit....

#73 Windward

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 11:16 PM

That is disgusting.

Corrosive blood?

#74 ancientseawolf

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 11:28 PM

When y'all drive Fla - duh's Turnpike, the rest stops have a spray device to drive through to rinse the buggers off. Just a bit, anyhow

#75 bljones

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 11:30 PM

Shouldn't 10 acres of swamp properly be referred to in gallons rather than acres?




#76 DA-WOODY

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 03:29 AM

R.B. in as much as you likely fresh out of Mexicans round your new diggs

might as well opt for a more proper "Local Handel"

Like OH I dunno

How about

"Ricky Ricardo" and the Nursetta can become "Lucy"

































#77 Willin'

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 01:59 AM

Two words...love bugs, oh yeah, and sand spurs.

Plus, as a gun lover, no doubt you will enjoy your neighbor's monthly fully automatic full moon sky shoot. I have a "sportsman club" that backs up to my land. I can't tell you how much I enjoy the peace and quiet around here until they decide to whip it out and get all manly on stationary targets. But down there where the smell of pulp mills is a good thing, you'll feel right at home.

From what I've seen you post around here, Boothy, I'll give you two years down there, max. You can check out any time you want...

#78 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:13 AM

And you fukers neglected to tell me about the scorpions.....why? Jfc, nice little late night surprise there. Thanx for that...

#79 GRUMPY

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:18 AM

They glow in the dark under a black light Boothy. Surely you've got one to go with your old hippy posters.

#80 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:21 AM

They glow in the dark under a black light Boothy. Surely you've got one to go with your old hippy posters.


Not these two suckers, G, they're not Mexico scorps----they were black & brown. Definitely no-glows.....

#81 puffyjman

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:28 AM


They glow in the dark under a black light Boothy. Surely you've got one to go with your old hippy posters.


Not these two suckers, G, they're not Mexico scorps----they were black & brown. Definitely no-glows.....



Thier bite is about as bad a a wasp sting. It hurts for a few then goes away. Rub some tobbacco on the area and it will draw out the poison. They love warm moist areas. I check my shoes everytime I put em on because I've been stung on the toe before. Been a habit since childhood.....:unsure:

#82 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:44 AM

Great. First wasps that live in the ground, then carbon fiber snakes that don't fear people, then I find out that there's an eleven foot gator living near the beach that eats dogs for breakfast, and now f'ng scorpions.

Anything else y'all wanna tell me before I hit the hay?....

#83 puffyjman

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:49 AM

Great. First wasps that live in the ground, then carbon fiber snakes that don't fear people, then I find out that there's an eleven foot gator living near the beach that eats dogs for breakfast, and now f'ng scorpions.

Anything else y'all wanna tell me before I hit the hay?....


Don't forget the Brown Recluse spider. They're sneaky little fuckers, you can't feel them bite, then their venom slowly rots your tissue. Thought you'd like to know.
Florida aint all Disney and South Beach. Tried to warn ya....:P

#84 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:52 AM

You're right----it's becoming more and more like the g-damn Darien Gap by the frickin minute.....

#85 mikewof

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:06 AM

Soak up that glorious 100% relative humidity, get used to the crotch rot, ignore the cattle and the creeping things and just make peace with it all. The deep south is beautiful Rick, the trick is in accepting that you're now more part of Mother Nature's booby system than you ever were back in Cali.

In the words of a NatGeo issue, SoCal is like a space station, the only reason it exists is because they rocket in water from everywhere else. But now you're deep in the musty parts, somewhere in Mother Nature's swampy flower. It's the place us guys feel most comfortable.

When it really gets to you, just ignore it and focus on building your business.

And install AC in your garage and workshop.

#86 silent bob

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:10 AM

Relative Humidity:






















The sweat pouring off your back as your cousin humps you from behind.

#87 DA-WOODY

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 03:50 AM

Relative Humidity:






















The sweat pouring off your back as your cousin humps you from behind.


Hay anyone know why it's cheaper to rent/buy in FL than in BAJA ???

#88 Shibby

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 08:47 AM

http://http://www.yo...feature=related

#89 Owen

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:24 PM

Scorpion... at least it's iOn. Do you miss the varous so-cal -ians? as in how is it being 3k miles from the nearest persian palace? congrats and enjoy.

#90 grabbler

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 01:48 PM

Hope your Redneck Easter went well....hope these fellas didn't come by on their Easter egg hunt.....



"I hate fuckin' rabbits!!"

#91 MisterMoon

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:02 PM

If you are where I think you are in the Big Bend, once you get to the Gulf you have to wade out about 3 miles or so to get over knee deep. Good fishing though.

Scorpions are no big deal. I used to be scared of them until I realized it's damn near impossible to get stung by one. I've watched our housecats playing with them for hours until they finally got tired of them and ate them alive. Never once did one of our cats get stung. They are a lot softer than you might think and very juicy when you step on them. Don't smush them on the carpet.

The other word of warning: Palmetto bugs can FLY. Usually right before you are ready to smash him with a hammer. It WILL freak you out the first time it happens.

#92 Guitar

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:09 PM

Don't you flush the Palmetto's out like pheasant? 410 should do the trick.

Damn Rick, Florida, really?

Wife and I took jobs in Texas back in '97. Purchased a house in June, sold it in Nov. and moved back to Cali.

Nothing wrong with Texas (Dave), just that we were really homesick for Cali. Every day we watched the news and weather down there we were looking at the National map to see what was going on out there.

Hope it's better for you.

At least you are close to the Caribe.

#93 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

If you are where I think you are in the Big Bend, once you get to the Gulf you have to wade out about 3 miles or so to get over knee deep. Good fishing though.

Scorpions are no big deal. I used to be scared of them until I realized it's damn near impossible to get stung by one. I've watched our housecats playing with them for hours until they finally got tired of them and ate them alive. Never once did one of our cats get stung. They are a lot softer than you might think and very juicy when you step on them. Don't smush them on the carpet.

The other word of warning: Palmetto bugs can FLY. Usually right before you are ready to smash him with a hammer. It WILL freak you out the first time it happens.



From Hell-A, to this, in ten daze...... :lol:


http://www.ghosttowns.com/states/fl/hamptonsprings.html


(btw, did I mention this 'house' is on stilts, ten feet off the ground? With no elevator? Which means the scorps got up there in only one of three ways-----ala Spider Man, up an exterior set of open stairs.....or by helium balloon.....

#94 mustang__1

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:36 PM

welcome back Booth where ya been? Posted Image

#95 R Booth

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

welcome back Booth where ya been? Posted Image



Finally made parole.....

#96 hobot

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 03:32 PM

Shoulda just moved down to Capo Beach Boothy.

#97 boomer

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 03:58 PM

Hope it all works out for you down there Rick...

About the only thing I didn't like down there was the humidity,but after some time you'll probably get used to it.

On another note,I read recently 4 out 5 former Californians who live in Florida move back to Cali......just saying...

#98 Mojo Risin

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 03:59 PM

Great. First wasps that live in the ground, then carbon fiber snakes that don't fear people, then I find out that there's an eleven foot gator living near the beach that eats dogs for breakfast, and now f'ng scorpions.

Anything else y'all wanna tell me before I hit the hay?....


Caterpillars.

Be very careful.

#99 mikewof

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 04:10 PM

The other word of warning: Palmetto bugs can FLY. Usually right before you are ready to smash him with a hammer. It WILL freak you out the first time it happens.


Those American Cockroaches come in the house after it rains. If you smash them you run the risk of spreading their eggs all through your floorboards, better to relocate them alive outside with a cup.

They're about 4 inches long, but friendly enough, my wife used to call them her "pets" and put disposable cups over three or four of them. They waited there for me to get home from work and I threw them over the kudzu cliff. Anoles come in the house too, those are just hilarious though, the males puff out the crop on their neck to find a female and get laid.

Your chances of getting injected with toxin from any animal is remote, the bigger danger is falling into a groundhog hole when you're out shooting. They dig straight down, about 20 lbs. of digging insanity, littering the land with those damn holes, most of which grow over with Kudzu, leaving the landscape somewhat like a redneck mine-field in Kampuchea, waiting to break the leg of your best horse, or suck up a front motorcycle tire sending you flying into the air Snake River style.

I'm not even sure if those monsters are groundhogs, they seem to be about twice as big as the regular groundhogs. Maybe nutria?

#100 Mike in Seattle

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 04:20 PM

, of course, there is one Terrible Tragedy involved here,,




:( One of the local 'Squatch-ettes is completely broken-hearted about Rick going to Flawduh rather than coming Norte.


, but not to worry.


She's emailing pics & location to her Southern Cousins ,



:D O'l Bootherachi can expect to meet her almost anytime, now,,

( look real close, ya might see her somewhere in that 10 acres).
























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