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Unacceptable Damned and Banned Boat Names


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#201 stranded

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 07:50 PM

probly here somewhere already - - - ?


whale oil beef hooked


- - - - - and the farr ones


farr kin etc etc

will

won't

king beauty

king magic

cant

first

last

whatever

#202 Problem Child

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 08:02 PM

Seen in Solomon's Island, MD many years ago... 'Just Blow Me'

#203 mh111

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 11:56 PM

probly here somewhere already - - - ?


whale oil beef hooked


- - - - - and the farr ones


farr kin etc etc

will

won't

king beauty

king magic

cant

first

last

whatever

i had a farr design a few years ago that was slightly smaller than i would have liked it to be. nearly called it 'not farr enough' :D ...but the boat already had the best name so stayed with that.

cheers,

#204 SPORTSCAR

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 02:35 AM

A certain sail maker in Melbourne raced a Farr 5000 on the Kinnears trailerable yacht circuit a long time ago.
A very small boat, the apt name was 'Farr Call'

#205 Christian

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 02:53 AM

Daughter wanted Psycho Kriller, I wanted Moon Noodles, neither one passed wife review.



There was an Esse 850 around here named Psycho Tiller

#206 LakeBoy

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Posted 19 August 2012 - 03:46 PM

Depending on your musical taste and whether or not you are a Marshall Crenshaw fan:

Posted Image

Even without the musical reference, I think the names works. (Think PHRF ratings etc.)

If you don't like the name, you can always rename her after you buy the boat. SA AD

#207 skiffboy

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Posted 19 August 2012 - 09:31 PM


Moiste naimes mentioneded suck maile appedange, Ii realley wante somboby to wowe me! Common biiches!! :)


OK Snaggy, try "Hottentot Apron" for a reaction at your local club.

I won't be using it - you can have it.

No need to thank me ... ;)

Thats the schnitzel! :lol:

#208 Gouvernail

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 06:00 AM

Shall I name this boat Unbroken??

Attached Files



#209 Willi Cinque

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 10:13 AM

At Airlie beach race week was a 27 footer called "ya mum". Each morning we waited as the skipper called RC with "we have 5 on "ya mum" and calls through the race of "we are climbing on top of ya mum," etc. I thought it was amusing, but then I should get out more!

#210 deckersr

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 11:15 AM

Was 199661 the last Laser ever to be built whose number will appear the same while turtled??




1, 8, 11, 69. 88, 101, 111,181, 609, 619, 689, 808, 818, 888, 906, 916, 986, 1001, 1111, 1691, 1881, 1961, 6009, 6119, 6699, 6889, 6969, 8008, 8118, 8698, 8968, 9006, 9116, 9696, 9886, 9966, 10001, 10101, 10801, 11011, 11111, 11811, 16091, 16191,16891, 18081, 18181, 18881, 19061, 19161,19861, 60009, 60109, 60809, 61019, 61119, 61819, 66099, 66199, 66899, 68089, 68189, 68889, 69069, 69169,69869, 90006, 90106, 90806, 91016,91116, 91816, 96096, 96196, 96896, 98086, 98186, 98886, 99066, 99166, 99866, 100001, 101101, 106901, 108801, 109601,


110011, 111111, 116911, 118811, 119611, 160091, 161191, 166991, 168891, 169691, 180081, 181181, 186981, 188881, 189681, 190061, 191161, 196961, 198861, 199661, ,


There will be a gap until you get to the patterns that start with a 6. 600009, 666999, etc. Another gap until the patterns starting with 9. 900006, 999666, etc

#211 Blowhard

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 02:06 PM

Bob Smahe's cruising boat on Lake St. Clair, "Ralph the Boat" and his dinghy, "Chunks."

#212 clamslapper

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 05:43 PM

This shit has to stop.



A month ago I found the tune


Stand by me

[media]


running through my head bedcause of a damn fool who put that in plastic lettering on te side of his toy.


Then we had the hand painted



Afternoon Delight

[media][media]

Now we have a flaking fading vedrsion of Hurry Sundown.

[media][media]

This shit simply has to stop!!!



I hate, absolutely detest, boat names consisting of puns. I don't really mind names that are from classic songs though. And a few of my friends have boats named after Grateful Dead songs -- as far as I can tell, there is about a 100% chance of the owner being a great guy if his boat's named after a Dead tune! I'm not a particularly big fan of the GD. It's just one of those correlations I have noticed.

Anyone who's boat is name Knot Again, or For Sail (or Fore Sail), Scratching Bottom, Wind Dancer, etc. etc. ... it's practically guaranteed that the owner will annoy the piss out me (unless, I suppose, that was simply the name when they bought it).

A cute boat name is a little bit like having a Lynrd Skynrd quote in your HS yearbook. It seemed like a good idea at the time but years later, odds are it's become positively cringe-worthy.

#213 J109Guy

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Posted 08 October 2012 - 06:30 PM

We race against a boat up in this area called "Wildfire", which always bring son a chorus or two of this ditty...

#214 bodysurf

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 01:25 PM

She got the house.

Liquor on the Bow...Poker in the Stern.

Hot Ruddered Bum.

#215 dreaded

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 04:10 PM

just for Guv, saw this the other day on an opti.... in case you forgot the lyrics



Love Is Like Oxygen


Love is Like Oxygen:
You get too much, you get too high,
Not enough and you're gonna die.
Love gets you high.

Love is Like Oxygen: (Love is Like Oxygen)
You get too much, you get too high, (Love is like oxygen; Too high)
Not enough and you're gonna die. (Love is like oxygen; Gonna die)
Love gets you high.

#216 hybomitra

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 07:33 PM

Please god, stop. In the name of humainity.

#217 Whatstheword

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 09:08 PM

There was a ship named Armed Sea Lion, vessel traffic was heard warning of 'Armed Sea Lion, inbound 18 knots'. We were hoping Herschel wasn't back from California and pissed.

#218 J24Soup

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:15 PM

I thought " One Time At Band Camp" was maybe in poor taste. But you are supposed to blow into flutes so you probably wouldn't need to get that far.

Just "Band Camp", kind of like that one.

#219 J24Soup

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 10:27 PM

Free Bowl of Soup <grin>

Selfishly fond of that one :) ...and not from a song. Ironically one of the owner's previous boats was renamed "Tremendous Slouch".

#220 mcsailor0303

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Posted 09 October 2012 - 11:06 PM

anything against 'Whiskey Tango Foxtrot'?

#221 saltyokie

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 02:20 AM

a Cat 38 named Macavity altho Pywacket would have been good too

#222 Gouvernail

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:06 AM

From Messing About in Sailboats

Really Stupid Boat Names



A few weeks ago, I asked for submissions for the Stupidest Boat Names and I was not disappointed. These are beauties. Thank You! This would not of course had been possible without the support of the awesome Scuttlebutt.
I have tried to categorize them and they have been unscientifically grouped in a totally subjective way that made sense to me after a few beers. I haven't figured my 3 favorites yet but when I do the submitters get CDs of the Top 10 Sailing Songs.
The original list, culled from several web sites, is in the extended posts. If you have any other names to suggest, I will happily add them. Here they are:
Appalling Puns
"Hot Ruddered Bum"
"Si yes da"
"L.L. Boat"
"Sail Bad The Sinner"
"Bow Down"
"Sexual Heeling"
"Ahoy Vey"
"Yacht Sea"
"Makin' Luff"
Financial
"A Crewed Interest"
"Myovadraft"
"The Loan Ranger"
"Colin's Tuition"
Medical
"Biopsea"
"Irritable Bow"
"Bow Movement"
"Sir Osis of the River"
"Vitamin Sea"
"Autopsea"
Sophomoric
"Breakin wind"
"Blow Me"
"Poopy Express"
"Master Baiter"
"My Assiss Dragon"
"Wet Dream"
"Norwegian Woody"
Questionable on a Sailboat
Seen on a Catamaran, "Double Penetration"
"Spank Me" (Raceboat. Imagine the T-Shirts)
"Cunning Stunts"
"Rumple IVskin"
Aquamorons
"Blue Vein Throbber"
"Four Play"
"Sea Clit"
"Seaduced Too"
"Hoosier Daddy"
"Dixie Normous" (they wish)
"Lucky Sperm "
"Show Me The Money"
"Floating Seamen"
"Nauti Lust"
"La-Sea"
Clever
"Maid of Plywood"
"DILLIGAFF" which stands for Do I look like I give a flying f....
"If it doesn't come when you call it, why name it" (An Olympic Trial Finn)
"Weazel" with a tender called "One Eye"
"Change Order" and the dinghy named: "original contract"
"WOFTAM" waste of f'n time and money!
"Miss America" (Nothing as embarrassing as calling into the race committee to get a slip and saying, Race Committee, this is Miss America" or having to wear the shirts!)
"Time and Money"
"Head First"
"Sea Cup" (Skippered by a woman)
"Runs With Scissors"
"Support the Right to Arm Bears "
Relationships
"Don't tell the wife" How about that on a Mayday? Mayday, Mayday, Don't tell the wife!
"Alternative Girlfriend"
"Mom's Mink"
"FUJIMO" - (F___ You Jane, I'm Moving Out ...
"She Got the House"
"Pissed N Broke"
Obscure
"Dances with Sheep" (Kiwi Boat)
"The World's Largest Prairie Dog"
"Shoot Low They're Riding Chickens"
I am not making this up
There was a yacht at the Arun Yacht Club called "Passing Wind." About 10 miles to the west is the Looe Passage, around SDelsey Bill, West Sussex. A crew member was hit by the boom,and the owner called out the coastguard. "What is your name and position?" "We are Passing Wind, in the Looe"



Top 10 Stupid Boat Names


A while ago, I came across the Top 10 Boat Names according to Boat US. Many of them are plain stupid, not least the #1 boat name, Aquaholic. Pu-lease!
In doing a bit of digging around, I found some other dumb names for a boat. Panbo had some great ones like the one pictured here. Imagine calling Mayday on your VHF in this boat.
Bernie Ebbers, the jailed former CEO of Worldcom's yacht was called Aquasition. He deserved time for that alone.
I thought it might be a good wide to come up with the top 10 Stupidest Boat names.
Here are some other beauties I found pecking around:
- a Little Nauti
- Adoryble (On a Cape Dory Typhoon)
- All Gulls and No Buoys
- All my Ex's (on a stinkpot so had it coming)
- Bad Atti-toad
- Bada-bing-bada boom (another aquamoron)
- Banker's Hours
- Bay Bay
- Baysic Necessity
- Beaverlicious (hmm! interesting)
- Beer Bait n 'Ammo
- Bezerker (a little scary as it was on a Hallberg Rassy)
- Better Knot
- Between the Sheets
- Big E Nuf (amazingly this was a sailboat. Probably motored a lot)
- Bikini Bottom
- Bimini Cricket
- Bite Me (on a fishing boat)
- Knotty Boys (at least it wasn't knotty buoys)
- Messing About (what an excellent name for a boat)
- Gravyboat
- Bottoms Up
- Boat-acious
- Buoys in the Hood
- Learning Curve (written upside down on a sailboat)
- Sea-duction
- Sea ya
- Loon-a-sea
- Cur-n-Sea
- SeaRenity
- Tip Sea
- Seanile
- X2Sea
- LegaSea
- Itza -Du-Zea (Oyvay)
- Tax Seavation
- Slipless in Seattle (now that's clever)
- Feelin Nauti (I bet you are)
- Nauti Girl
- Nauti & Nice
- Reel Nauti
- Nauti Nurses (I think most of the Eastern Fleet would show up if they ran into trouble)
- Nauti Intentions (OK now I am going to throw up)

#223 Larry

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:20 AM

FUMIJO

#224 Cavandish

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:37 AM

Ok, who ever came up with "Shoot Low They're Riding Chickens" deserves a reward, that is pretty damn funny and original, at least to my knowledge.

How about "Class Struggle" pretty terrible boat name.

DILLIGAF is pretty common radio slang in the military, not original, good name along the lines of "Box of Grid Squares" , "Chem-Light Battery", "Soup Sandwich", "Victor 1 Romeo 91 November Papa Uniform 55 Yankee" ect.

#225 Balder

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 06:49 AM

A First-38 (I will leave her current name unspoken) I was sailing on was almost named MILF - the owner and his son thought it would be funny for the hot mom to call for check-in to the race or asking for a slip in the marina. SHE didn't quite find the humor in it. But she WAS a MILF!

#226 mcsailor0303

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 08:36 PM

"Myassis Dragon" was the name of a student's X-Boat when I was coaching! I LOVED that name! ..he was always towards the back of the fleet which made it that much funnier!

#227 deeman

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 09:16 PM

anything against 'Whiskey Tango Foxtrot'?


Pathetic! An attempt at an inside joke that is retarded and not inside at all.

#228 Snaggletooth

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Posted 10 October 2012 - 11:35 PM


anything against 'Whiskey Tango Foxtrot'?


Pathetic! An attempt at an inside joke that is retarded and not inside at all.

Is foxtrott yankee the obviouse to?

:)

#229 Disambiguated

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Posted 11 October 2012 - 02:51 AM

If you've got some lame song stuck in your input buffer, maybe this will push it out:
[media][\media]

Maybe not.

#230 Gouvernail

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Posted 11 October 2012 - 04:17 AM

as extra room in the fromt of the owner's pants is directly proportional to the size of the boat I was thinkin' about using this song for the name of my new toy>>>

Posted Image

[media]

#231 SoCalSlacker

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Posted 11 October 2012 - 11:22 PM

Aqua Vulva

#232 Maxx Baqustae

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Posted 12 October 2012 - 06:27 PM


This shit has to stop.



A month ago I found the tune


Stand by me

[media]


running through my head bedcause of a damn fool who put that in plastic lettering on te side of his toy.


Then we had the hand painted



Afternoon Delight

[media][media]

Now we have a flaking fading vedrsion of Hurry Sundown.

[media][media]

This shit simply has to stop!!!



I hate, absolutely detest, boat names consisting of puns. I don't really mind names that are from classic songs though. And a few of my friends have boats named after Grateful Dead songs -- as far as I can tell, there is about a 100% chance of the owner being a great guy if his boat's named after a Dead tune! I'm not a particularly big fan of the GD. It's just one of those correlations I have noticed.



Try Ripple and Dark star for GD songs, Oh - it's been done:

http://www.vanisle36...ndex.php?p=4_48

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/review/2002/darkstar.htm

http://gb.zinio.com/sitemap/Sports-magazines/SAIL/May-11/cat1960028/is-416166605/pg-54

#233 Texas Blind Sailing Team

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Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:52 PM

A long time ago the Hooper brothers were refused registration for their new FireBall; they wanted to call it "Seducer", but the powers that be decided that was far too racy. Ended up calling it "Sir Juicer"...muuuuch better!

Then there was the Farr 37 jointly owned by a visually impaired [blind] sailor and a psychiatrist. Naturally it was called "Out Of Sight Out of Mind".

Finally the Aus Laser Class had to clamp down on excessively long names when some genius called one " A Pizza Without Cheese Is Like A Woman Without Knees". Buggered if I know how they got that on the transom. Posted Image


OK I am new here and was searcing for references to blind or visually impaired sailing when I found this thread. We are practicing for the Blind Sailing Worlds which will be on J-24's. We have a boat on loan to our team that we use to practice and race in local regattas and we named it "Blind Ambition".

#234 Happy

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:40 AM

Boat: "Mayotte"
Tender:" MaDinky."

#235 maarten

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

There was a famous Stephen Jones half tonner in Holland back in the eighties called HelluvaBlowjob. The Royal Yachtclub in Muiden did'nt like it and I believe they were banned from sailing unless they civilized the name.

#236 Shaytoon

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 04:48 PM

when we first got the m24, we wanted to name it Donkey Punch...it was fine until one of the fleet member's wives got curious as to what it meant...she wiki'ed it and got this animated GIF of the term for what a Donkey Punch really was.

Posted Image

Of coarse I tried to deny the whole definition by sating the only thing I knew that was called Donkey Punch was a British movie with hot chicks on a yacht...

Can not tell you how many "Conversations" I had to have with countless wives and members about how inappropriate the name was...we settled on something more tame...but the boat still has Donkey in the name, and new decal for the stern is on it's way..."Got Punch?"

#237 Shaggy

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Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:45 PM

when we first got the m24, we wanted to name it Donkey Punch...it was fine until one of the fleet member's wives got curious as to what it meant...she wiki'ed it and got this animated GIF of the term for what a Donkey Punch really was.

Posted Image

Of coarse I tried to deny the whole definition by sating the only thing I knew that was called Donkey Punch was a British movie with hot chicks on a yacht...

Can not tell you how many "Conversations" I had to have with countless wives and members about how inappropriate the name was...we settled on something more tame...but the boat still has Donkey in the name, and new decal for the stern is on it's way..."Got Punch?"


Coconutz. anyone that uses this in any way shape or form diserves a boot in the nutz.......

#238 Mephisto Cat

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:59 AM

I went to see a boat that was up for sale once... I did not know the name until I got to the boat...

The name on the transom (in smallish letters) was "penus" I do not know what that meant, but it certainly spoke about the owner...

I passed on that basis...

#239 mg38024

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:45 PM

A guy with a Santana 20 at the local club named his boat Cocaine and Hookers. When his mother in law asked him what he spent all his money on he always answered with that. He put the name on both sides in letters so enormous they stretched the full length of the boat. Several club members weren't amused, so he had to take them off.

#240 barefoot children

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:51 AM

PHRF refused to publish 'CUCKING FUNT' in the listings

#241 Sebyseb

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 06:31 PM

Club Privé (tenue correcte exigée)




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