187 replies to this topic

[opa1]

Sounds like you ended up with the boat. If so, that is a plus. I recommend you put an ad on Craigslist advertising for a 23 year old nympho who wants to cruise (one-way) to a destination of your choice. Limit the time spent getting to the destination to no more than a month. She'll wear you out by then and you can give her a plane ticket home. You can then recuperate for about a month and start all over. See how easy that was.

[austin1972]

I came from a wealthy family and had a lot of money I never touched or even thought about because I was the cheapest fuck on the planet and my parents had drilled into me the idea that I needed to support myself with my own hands.

Haha. It's a funny thing being born into money. I don't consider a penny of it mine and we don't have kids so I hoard money like crazy so I can pass it on to my nieces.

Waaah! No one understands. Support group?

Nah. I'll just stay lower middle class. It's a nice place.

Amazing how weird conversations can get on these boards...

[Paps]

You might want to check into that counseling for yourself though.
I have no idea of your situation. I just know it's nice to talk to other impartial people sometimes.

Good luck!

Thanks! And yes, the advice from the local dock rats wasn't exactly what I was looking for. So I am spending a few boat units unloading to a therapist who prefers "Life Coach!"

Of course, we haven't done any sort of 'real' cruising that would induce a lot of stress. Maybe that's the key

And that is what I suspect, most here are actually not cruisers. You all sleep in real beds, have dishwashers, rooms and basements to go to, don't have to climb into a wet dink to go for a walk, don't enter a strange port under duress at night and try to find deep enough water to make it to the marina you called 6 hours ago, have never had to limp from north of Cape May all the way to Little Creek Norfolk VA with an engine largely supported by line attached to the companionway so that either Fuzz Barclay or Howdy Bailey could weld up a few stresspoints which took over a week and a lot of $, or lived in a marina for a few months that was so heavily populated with drunks that even the "Dockmaster" was known to pass out in the cockpits of other peoples boats! Left your home, sold your furniture, left your friends behind and waited for a weather window that seemingly never comes.

Or greeted the 03:00 to 06:00 watch Captain with a four cheese spinach, onion and mushroom omelet with steamed brussel sprouts and tomatoes on the side hundreds of miles from your destination.



Just saying... That been said, i like what I am reading. Haven't seen a thread like this before, so.....

There's the problem right there. Brussel Sprouts for breakfast?? I'd walk too!!

Hang in there Red, it took me 3 tries to get it right and I know this one's for life.

[B.J. Porter]

Starts are the most fun part of racing

So for those of you that are in long term happy relationships, how do you handle things like money? I know what my parents do, and it work well for them though it's contrary to that article posted above about divorces.

I find the idea of marriage kind of scary, I don't want to screw it up when it happens! I'm 27, my gf is 22. Maybe in 10 years I'll be ready who knows.

When I was 20 I intended to have a long and debauched bachelorhood lasting well into my 30's.

Shortly thereafter I starting dating this one girl, and well...plans changed. Held out until I was 26, but when I figured out early on that this was one I didn't want to let get away I also realized that "fear of marriage" couldn't and shouldn't cost me the woman who after 19 years has to date turned out to be the right one. After a month of dating her I knew I was pretty much screwed as a bachelor, but it took me a few more years (and a good amount of her forbearance) for me to realize that. Since I knew she was the woman I wanted to marry someday a few more years of not being married to her wouldn't change anything once we were in the right position in our lives and finances. It got so not being married was a pain in the ass.

IMHO it's the finding the right fit that determines your readiness, not an artificial timeline. If the one you are with now isn't "The One" and never will be then no amount of time on your part will make you more ready. No rushing because marriage isn't for everyone, but I can tell you that I would have regretted it forever if I'd let my wife slip away.

Of course at 22 yours is just a kid...

[B.J. Porter]

I guess the real kicker is; How the hell do you know when you've met the right girl? Sigh...

It was "obvious", all three times I've been married. So, being "obviously the right girl" isn't always a great indication - at least not for me. I could be slower than most or perhaps more optimistic. That said, staying married 28 years is not small item, so Wife Rev 2.0 was a reasonable match. However, the Admiral (Wife Rev 3.0) is absolutely perfect for me and at times I have to admit that my prior attempts were probably in the wishful thinking category. We've been together for a little over three years and it's great.

The most significant difference is that given the choice I would always rather be with the Admiral. I'd rather be with her instead of: the bar at the YC, my buddies house, out sailing alone, racing my car, jamming, working, etc.... the list is really long and what I discovered is that I'd rather be with her than anyone else. Sure, I still do other things, but given the choice she's my best friend - clearly. Everything is better when she's along. That wasn't true in the previous revisions of this marriage activity.

BV

What he said. Everything I do is better with her along. Well mostly, she doesn't like to fish but I'm happy if she wants to come hang around when I am. When you aren't with her and you see something cool you wish you could share it with her.

It's been that way pretty much since the beginning.

[B.J. Porter]

I guess the real kicker is; How the hell do you know when you've met the right girl? Sigh...

When she tells you to buy a boat and go cruising with her, she's the right one mate! That's the right one for me! It's the maintenance part that got me...

My girlfriend told me she wants to buy a boat so we can go cruising cuz she misses being on a boat. She grew up on a boat cruising all over the world with her parents until her teens.

Hook, line and sinker......

And as the girlfriend...if I may reply...he's willing to get a boat and go cruising with me! Plus he's knowledgeable about boats and sailing and capable of going cruising. My test was this; when the sh$t's hitting the fan at midnight, in the middle of the Pacific, is this someone I want next to me trying to solve the problem. The answer was yes.

I had an amazing relationship model growing up as well. My parents were married 6 years before having me and going cruising. Granted my mom was my dad's second wife and when he met her he essentially said, "You love me you love my boat. This is my dream and I want you with me." Their marriage survived 13 years of cruising and they are now going on 32 years of being married. From the perspective of their child, the only time I heard voices raised involved anchoring. I asked my parents once about that and my dad said when they first started cruising there were a couple instances of yelling. After the argument that ensued, my dad realized that he wasn't yelling at my mom. He was actually yelling at himself because he was frustrated at the things going wrong. Once he realized that, things got a lot better on the boat.

Overall, my experience growing up cruising was great and that's why I want to go cruising myself and raise my future kids on a boat.

You realize this post may generate marriage proposals from random strangers on the internet, don't you?

[MoeAlfa]

When I was 20 I intended to have a long and debauched bachelorhood lasting well into my 30's.

Shortly thereafter I starting dating this one girl, and well...plans changed.

That's what and when it happened to me. Life has been a series of similar revelations.

[olaf hart]

When you know its right, go with it.

We met at 21, married four months later.

A hippie ŵedding, it would never last....

Had our 40th anniversary last week.

[kimbottles]

When you know its right, go with it.

We met at 21, married four months later.

A hippie ŵedding, it would never last....

Had our 40th anniversary last week.

I was 19 when I met SWMBO (Susan) I am now 64 ..........45 great years!

[Cruisin Loser]

When you know its right, go with it.

We met at 21, married four months later.

A hippie ŵedding, it would never last....

Had our 40th anniversary last week.

I was 19 when I met SWMBO (Susan) I am now 64 ..........45 great years!

Certain girls have magic in them. The men lucky enough to marry them usually recognize it, and they never come on the market again. If you have an opportunity with a magical girl and fail to close the deal, the next guy will and you'll never have another chance.

I closed the deal 3 days after graduating college. Our honeymoon was driving a Uhaul with our meager possessions to the oilfield town where I started my career.

As to money, it's much easier when you marry someone poor. Mrs. Loser told me a couple of years ago the the most surprising aspect of our life has been that she didn't have to work outside the home after the kids were born, that she could stay home and be a mom. That required a level of income that was simply outside her experience growing up, she knew of some kids with stay at home moms, but those were the rich kids. Her mom was a cop and her dad worked for the city sewer department.

[4decksquirrel]

So I was kind of curious as to my parent's input on this thread considering their marriage survived cruising and came out stronger for it. So here's what my mom had to say:

"I don't think sailing in itself leads to the breakup of a marriage. It might be a catalyst that causes underlying problems to fester. Sailing on a small boat with a family is NOT an easy task. The relationship should be solid and expectations of cruising should be discussed in detail beforehand. Also, both parties must be willing to compromise to make it work.....just like they would with a land-based relationship. Drinking is a problem on land and at sea. It can fuel arguments or loosen your tongue so that you argue instead of having a rational conversation. Couples should never hide behind alcohol."


I thought it was very valuable information! Enjoy.

[olaf hart]

Great advice from your mom there squirrelle.

The problem with alcohol is that disinhibition happens even after one drink.

So we aren't drunk, but our judgement calls become more risky.

In my professional life, I don't drink at all through the day or on call.

Just one glass of wine at lunch can lead to a risky call in the afternoon, and months of unnecessary problems.

And judgement calls are what a successful relationship is all about ......

[jkdubs808]

I guess the real kicker is; How the hell do you know when you've met the right girl? Sigh...

When she tells you to buy a boat and go cruising with her, she's the right one mate! That's the right one for me! It's the maintenance part that got me...

My girlfriend told me she wants to buy a boat so we can go cruising cuz she misses being on a boat. She grew up on a boat cruising all over the world with her parents until her teens.

Hook, line and sinker......

And as the girlfriend...if I may reply...he's willing to get a boat and go cruising with me! Plus he's knowledgeable about boats and sailing and capable of going cruising. My test was this; when the sh$t's hitting the fan at midnight, in the middle of the Pacific, is this someone I want next to me trying to solve the problem. The answer was yes.

I had an amazing relationship model growing up as well. My parents were married 6 years before having me and going cruising. Granted my mom was my dad's second wife and when he met her he essentially said, "You love me you love my boat. This is my dream and I want you with me." Their marriage survived 13 years of cruising and they are now going on 32 years of being married. From the perspective of their child, the only time I heard voices raised involved anchoring. I asked my parents once about that and my dad said when they first started cruising there were a couple instances of yelling. After the argument that ensued, my dad realized that he wasn't yelling at my mom. He was actually yelling at himself because he was frustrated at the things going wrong. Once he realized that, things got a lot better on the boat.

Overall, my experience growing up cruising was great and that's why I want to go cruising myself and raise my future kids on a boat.

You realize this post may generate marriage proposals from random strangers on the internet, don't you?

Let's not go there BJ......she's MY g/f after all.......and the latest SCOTW may I add.

How's the cruising going mate?

[jkdubs808]

So I was kind of curious as to my parent's input on this thread considering their marriage survived cruising and came out stronger for it. So here's what my mom had to say:

"I don't think sailing in itself leads to the breakup of a marriage. It might be a catalyst that causes underlying problems to fester. Sailing on a small boat with a family is NOT an easy task. The relationship should be solid and expectations of cruising should be discussed in detail beforehand. Also, both parties must be willing to compromise to make it work.....just like they would with a land-based relationship. Drinking is a problem on land and at sea. It can fuel arguments or loosen your tongue so that you argue instead of having a rational conversation. Couples should never hide behind alcohol."


I thought it was very valuable information! Enjoy.

Your mom always proves to be very wise with these sorts of things.


That being said, the whole alcohol loosen tongue thing, is both of us at Key West Race Week party tents a good idea? The smart ass bowgirl might come out in full force

[mikewof]

But do you really think it was cruising that killed it? Or was there a deeper fatal flaw that maybe got scoured down to a little quicker?

As someone that just started cruising with my family this week I sincerely hope I've not steered my marriage to the rocks!

Possibly.... That's why walkie talkies for anchoring are called marriage savers. Cruising can put strains on a marriage, that much I do know. Throw in some monetary losses, the death of my mother and that of another liveaboard we were friends with, and then put the boat into bondage and it does kinda look like divorce soup. I wonder often if this would have happened if we had stay on land and only cruised during the summers like we used to...

Yeah, I saw that you just left. Congratulations! I guess my only advice in retrospect is to quit when it isn't fun anymore... We would reassess every so often and realized that it wasn't as much fun anymore, but didn't take steps to correct it...

That, and try to find stuff for each of you to do. Part of our problem was that at times cruising was kinda a lonely experience. Not every port afforded positive socializing opportunities. I tried to keep my wife connected by buying a lot of plane tickets, but hated it when she was gone... That been said, living 24/7 in a large closet with no place to go is in and of itself stressful. Your time ashore is divided between doing laundry, provisioning, and trying out the local watering holes for socialization. Shopping for silly crap is out of the question. leave the scrap booking at home, no room, and the most we ever gardened onboard was a rosemary plant... It can become a prison of sorts, particularly if you stop for awhile and get into a rut that isn't supplemented by the thril of each new adventure, each new landfall.

Red, I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, I think I remember of photo of you and your wife, she is an attractive woman. I wish the best to both of you, if that means new cruising mates for both of you, marrying each other again after some time, or a life of single bliss.

Gotta say, Willin's suggestion sounds about right ...

Sorry for your loss, but it sounds like an opportunity to me. Head for the palm trees and clear your heart and mind.

[DaveK]

Let's not go there BJ......she's MY g/f after all.......and the latest SCOTW may I add.

How's the cruising going mate?

whoa! I'm trying to follow but man, it's kinda complicated!

Does your wife know about this?

[isma]

redvik,
Sorry about the demise of your marriage. May be a bad time to ask, but do you have a phone number for the girl holding the omelet? She's beautiful and you did well for many years...sorry. But seriously, the number? ;-)

PS This shit happens on land as well all the time; sometimes the two ships should continue passing in the night.

[jkdubs808]

Let's not go there BJ......she's MY g/f after all.......and the latest SCOTW may I add.

How's the cruising going mate?

whoa! I'm trying to follow but man, it's kinda complicated!

Does your wife know about this?

Jfc Dave, can't you keep up?

Btw, speaking of wives, does YOURS know that you posted a pic of her ass on the camping thread awhile back?

[B.J. Porter]

When she tells you to buy a boat and go cruising with her, she's the right one mate! That's the right one for me! It's the maintenance part that got me...

My girlfriend told me she wants to buy a boat so we can go cruising cuz she misses being on a boat. She grew up on a boat cruising all over the world with her parents until her teens.

Hook, line and sinker......

And as the girlfriend...if I may reply...he's willing to get a boat and go cruising with me! Plus he's knowledgeable about boats and sailing and capable of going cruising. My test was this; when the sh$t's hitting the fan at midnight, in the middle of the Pacific, is this someone I want next to me trying to solve the problem. The answer was yes.

I had an amazing relationship model growing up as well. My parents were married 6 years before having me and going cruising. Granted my mom was my dad's second wife and when he met her he essentially said, "You love me you love my boat. This is my dream and I want you with me." Their marriage survived 13 years of cruising and they are now going on 32 years of being married. From the perspective of their child, the only time I heard voices raised involved anchoring. I asked my parents once about that and my dad said when they first started cruising there were a couple instances of yelling. After the argument that ensued, my dad realized that he wasn't yelling at my mom. He was actually yelling at himself because he was frustrated at the things going wrong. Once he realized that, things got a lot better on the boat.

Overall, my experience growing up cruising was great and that's why I want to go cruising myself and raise my future kids on a boat.

You realize this post may generate marriage proposals from random strangers on the internet, don't you?

Let's not go there BJ......she's MY g/f after all.......and the latest SCOTW may I add.

How's the cruising going mate?

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

[isma]

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Last Tango in Paradise?

[Cavelamb]

A while ago I read a story about the way that dogs relate to people and realized that acting a little more like our German Shepherd makes me a better husband and personally a lot happier. Romo, our Shepherd, spends a lot of his time protecting, caring for and watching out for us. It's a good life. I could do a lot worse.

BV

You are a good man, BV.

[Steam Flyer]

... ...

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Hah!
True on land as well as on sea: being a husband means you have to forgo the pleasure of being right.

FB- Doug

[Cavelamb]

I skipped this thread for several days because it sounded like a wounded male ego wanting attention
(and maybe some vindication). That may or may not have been spot on.


But I finally looked, and have spent over an hour reading through this thread.

I have to admit, I was completely stunned.

There has been more heart and soul and real love expressed here than I'd ever have expected from this crowd.

I obviously underestimated you guys (and ladies) .

Awesome.

[jkdubs808]

... ...

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Hah!
True on land as well as on sea: being a husband means you have to forgo the pleasure of being right.

FB- Doug

Amen to that. Saying 'yes dear' is usually way easier than tryin to prove your point in the bombardments of points being made from left field on why you're wrong and a bunch of 'well let me tell YOU something about YOU that YOU don't know!' that usually ensues shortly thereafter lol

[redviking]

Red, I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, I think I remember of photo of you and your wife, she is an attractive woman. I wish the best to both of you, if that means new cruising mates for both of you, marrying each other again after some time, or a life of single bliss.

Thanks Wofsey! We are talking and I remain very optimistic that we can work this out and cut the dock lines once again some day. Afterall, what man could ever compete?

 DSCN1194.JPG   331.5K   66 downloads

redvik,
Sorry about the demise of your marriage. May be a bad time to ask, but do you have a phone number for the girl holding the omelet? She's beautiful and you did well for many years...sorry. But seriously, the number? ;-)

Are you a cruiser? Do you have a decent boat? I don't think she'll settle for anything less than an Oyster.

I skipped this thread for several days because it sounded like a wounded male ego wanting attention
(and maybe some vindication). That may or may not have been spot on.


But I finally looked, and have spent over an hour reading through this thread.

I have to admit, I was completely stunned.

There has been more heart and soul and real love expressed here than I'd ever have expected from this crowd.

I obviously underestimated you guys (and ladies) .

Awesome.

Cavelamb, there was NEVER the desire for vindication, just that I wanted to know how other CRUISERS have done in view of what should be obvious - confined spaces, challenging circumstances and a whole host of factors come into play when you "Jump Off." Unfortunately, there are very few cruisers here and the feedback on marriage has been mostly land based. I was talking to a former cruising woman last night about this topic, and her reflection is that if you are going to be tied to a dock for any time, get a furnished apartment.

Don't forget, for those of you who have never done it, that living on a boat and cruising is VERY different than living on a boat at a dock while refilling the cruising kitty. All your groceries and whatnot has to travel a long ways to get to your "home." Taking the garbage out is more time consuming than walking out of your house and finding the garbage can. Dishes are time consuming. Showering either on the boat or in the marina is time consuming. Maintaining a wardrobe is difficult on a boat. Maintaining a boat is several times more time consuming than taking care of a house. Most of the time, we did not have a car, so EVERYTHING took more time. Ever live for any period on the hard? We did in Savannah at Hinckley and in Chestertown. climbing down a ladder in the middle of the night to use the head isn't easy. Or when the head is screwed up for some reason having to do the midnight waltz up dark docks. In a couple of places, i worried about my wife doing this alone at night and would get up and go with her. And let's face it, most of you have never spent months, let alone years within a few feet of your spouse. Try it sometime... see how you do...

Would I do things differently or will I do things differently if she and I can work this out. Absolutely! I'm making a list of changes should I be lucky enough to get my mate back onboard. Sure, the land based rules do apply, but how can I remove cruising specific issues or as many of them as I can to prevent this from happening again? That is the question.

I guess I am not surprised at the response by the collective. I have run into as many solo cruisers as married ones and quite frankly I don't know how they do it, so the collective may or may not get that part, but most here do get the value proposition of having and Admiral/First Mate. I suspect that sailors in general are better people than landlubbers anyway and this event is really not one where the usual brand of sarcasm and vitriol that is found here sometimes would be applicable...

BTW - My wife knows about this thread.

Redviking standing by and hopefully not OUT permanently...

[redviking]

BTW - our wedding program inside back cover had the following song printed in it - and this was the song we danced our first dance to...

I flew Kevin Connolly and his band to Kansas City for the event... The song is just too perfect... www.kevinconnolly.com

Run Away With Me - by Kevin Connolly

Well I'm out on a boat in a different direction,
there's lots bouncing 'round trying to make some connection.
Between the waves and the wind and the whitecaps I see,
it is you that I want sitting here next to me.

refrain:

Run away with me,
run away to the ocean.
We'll spend our whole lives making commotion.
Run away with me,
run away to the sea,
past the wind and the sails and the dark and the deep,
run away....

Well there's cars with big lights and some people we know,
wasting their lives like they're stuck on some road.
In the middle of the night with the rain pouring down,
we'll slither away and we won't make a sound.

(refrain)

And if all of this boils down to one perfect vision,
I'd spend my whole life thinking and fishing.
Imagine then if you knew what you wanted.
Imagine then if you knew what you need.
I would take all of this devotion and head down to the sea.
So don't think I'm weary or losing my soul,
It's you that I want around me when I'm old.
And I'll stare at the waves 'til the wind makes me shiver,
I'll never go down with a heart that is given.

(refrain)

Appropriate - eh?

[4decksquirrel]

... ...

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Hah!
True on land as well as on sea: being a husband means you have to forgo the pleasure of being right.

FB- Doug

Amen to that. Saying 'yes dear' is usually way easier than tryin to prove your point in the bombardments of points being made from left field on why you're wrong and a bunch of 'well let me tell YOU something about YOU that YOU don't know!' that usually ensues shortly thereafter lol

Pre-trained. Gotta love it!!!

[Cavelamb]

Cavelamb, there was NEVER the desire for vindication, just that I wanted to know how other CRUISERS have done in view of what should be obvious - confined spaces, challenging circumstances and a whole host of factors come into play when you "Jump Off." Unfortunately, there are very few cruisers here and the feedback on marriage has been mostly land based. I was talking to a former cruising woman last night about this topic, and her reflection is that if you are going to be tied to a dock for any time, get a furnished apartment.

(some minor snippage)

I guess I am not surprised at the response by the collective. I have run into as many solo cruisers as married ones and quite frankly I don't know how they do it, so the collective may or may not get that part, but most here do get the value proposition of having and Admiral/First Mate. I suspect that sailors in general are better people than landlubbers anyway and this event is really not one where the usual brand of sarcasm and vitriol that is found here sometimes would be applicable...

BTW - My wife knows about this thread.

Like I said, I didn't know it my negative predisposition toward the OP in this thread (before reading it) was spot on or not.
I think not, now.

And your point about the responses here has been born out repeatedly.
The one thing I keep tripping up on is the cruising part.
You are one of the select few lucky ones who got to go (and go with someone who loves you).
For five years! Man, I envy that. I might even be a bit jealous.

Hey, this is CA ™ and at some level we all have that dream in our hearts.
Some may get to fulfill it, some will not.

I think your heart is good
But I know nothing of how you wife feels about any of this.
Obviously something came apart.

So I wonder (which is polite for hard questions)...

Do you think you COULD come ashore and function on land again?

Would you change lifestyles to keep your wife?

Or would you change wives to keep your lifestyle?

[Dale dug a hole]

What gets me with this is the OP refers to his wife (now ex) as a First Mate. That in all honestly explains a lot. Maybe he thought it was a cool title or it is how he thinks of her.

[redviking]

So I wonder (which is polite for hard questions)...

Do you think you COULD come ashore and function on land again?

Would you change lifestyles to keep your wife?

Or would you change wives to keep your lifestyle?

Yes, I could come ashore. Yes I would change lifestyles, although I do believe my ex-wife still wants some of what once was. And no, I would not choose my potential next wife based on the cruising lifestyle... It fell apart due to excessive drinking/arguing and depression because of losses sustained.and whatnot. Had I handled those factors better, this would not be a thread. My bad... I got it...

What gets me with this is the OP refers to his wife (now ex) as a First Mate. That in all honestly explains a lot. Maybe he thought it was a cool title or it is how he thinks of her.

You don't understand. She was and still is my weather girl... We had a go/no go policy. If either of us had misgivings we didn't move. To this day, if my vessel is threatened by a storm, I consult with her for advice. It's not like I don't know how to do weather myself, I really value her opinion and I know her data is spot on... That is all...
SO, First Mate is a reflection of her participation... An Admiral stays in port and directs the navy, a First Mate is an active participant. She stood her watches, hauled me up the mast, did routing and weather and confirmed which ports were safe. It's not a cool title, just reality. She was my First Mate which in marine terms means that she is capable of handling the vessel sans Captain if the need should arise.

[Dale dug a hole]

Your reply is quite defensive.

I think if you need to reread you above posts

"She's my weather girl" but then you basically say you could do it better.

"First Mate is a reflection of her participation" So she only participated, do you get were I'm going???

It really sounds like you took things for granted, and didn't understand what your "mate" wanted.

[redviking]

Your reply is quite defensive.

I think if you need to reread you above posts

"She's my weather girl" but then you basically say you could do it better.

"First Mate is a reflection of her participation" So she only participated, do you get were I'm going???

It really sounds like you took things for granted, and didn't understand what your "mate" wanted.

Hmmmm.... Well Dug a hole, read it as you wish... But I said none of those things. I do know how to go to passageweather.com, doesn't mean I know how to Guatemala weather better. Yes, I did take some stuff for granted, but nothing you referenced. And uh, it is ambitious to think that my reference to first mate because she wasn't the dainty flower who doesn't participate like a lot of wives... But I knew someone would want to fuck with me and be an asshole.

Congrats... You win...

[Dale dug a hole]

Ding Ding, now the colours come out.

I didn't think you'd get it, as you just don't get it...

[redviking]

No colours... I do get your point, just not exactly as you imply...

[jkdubs808]

Don't worry about Dale......he's not very good at being a people person. But that's understandable when you're a troll.

I got what you meant red, completely. As did most everyone else.

[jkdubs808]

... ...

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Hah!
True on land as well as on sea: being a husband means you have to forgo the pleasure of being right.

FB- Doug

Amen to that. Saying 'yes dear' is usually way easier than tryin to prove your point in the bombardments of points being made from left field on why you're wrong and a bunch of 'well let me tell YOU something about YOU that YOU don't know!' that usually ensues shortly thereafter lol

Pre-trained. Gotta love it!!!

Told ya you lucked out

[Tom Ray]

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Rookie mistake. You probably thought refrigeration was about physics or something.

[B.J. Porter]

Still married after almost the first week...though it was a near thing when I made an ill considered comment about the "common sense" of where the butter was stowed in the 'fridge.

Rookie mistake. You probably thought refrigeration was about physics or something.

Nah, if it was physics she'd have been right. Bottom of the fridge is the coldest spot. My thinking is a Least Recently Used algorithm...butter, eggs and other cooking staples should be right on top where you can just grab them. I think my mistake was in pointing out that this was "common sense" in my frustration.

[redviking]

And that ladies and gents is exactly the kinds of flies in the soup you will encounter cruising. A lubber fridge has a butter thingy. No discussion...

[buzzardsbay105]

Heard this a million times obviously, but never sat down and really read the lyrics before:

Got out of town on a boat
Goin' to Southern islands.
Sailing a reach
Before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades
On the outside,
And the downhill run
To Papeete.
Off the wind on this heading
Lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized
Why twice you ran away.
Chorus
Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.
When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.
But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.
So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name.
Chorus
Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woma/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.
So we cheated and we lied
And we tested
And we never failed to fail
It was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine
Will come along
Make me forget about loving you.
At the Southern Cross.

[Dale dug a hole]

Don't worry about Dale......he's not very good at being a people person. But that's understandable when you're a troll.

I got what you meant red, completely. As did most everyone else.

The fact is I am not.

Its the attitude that goes with calling your partner "First Mate".

Its like the old joke, 'I've been married for X years, I would of got less for murder'. I can tell you I'll never try that joke again as my wife ripped me a new one when I did. No matter how tough you think your woman is, she is still a woman, and while we mean it in a totally different way, eg just a bit of fun, they can take it totally the wrong way. As I'm sure many others here have experienced.

And if you to do the 'Yes Dear' thing, I'd suggest you need to give you wife a cuddle and tactfully ask what's going on, as when they are biting at you over silly little things, there is generally something deeper. And it needs to be sorted

[redviking]

Don't worry about Dale......he's not very good at being a people person. But that's understandable when you're a troll.

I got what you meant red, completely. As did most everyone else.

The fact is I am not.

Its the attitude that goes with calling your partner "First Mate".

Its like the old joke, 'I've been married for X years, I would of got less for murder'. I can tell you I'll never try that joke again as my wife ripped me a new one when I did. No matter how tough you think your woman is, she is still a woman, and while we mean it in a totally different way, eg just a bit of fun, they can take it totally the wrong way. As I'm sure many others here have experienced.

And if you to do the 'Yes Dear' thing, I'd suggest you need to give you wife a cuddle and tactfully ask what's going on, as when they are biting at you over silly little things, there is generally something deeper. And it needs to be sorted

Your attitude regarding a standard term is disturbing and quite frankly does brand you as a troll as you are seemingly wanting to BE RIGHT no matter what and baiting those of us who understand terms of endearment, and that particular term in terms of the nautical world... How do you feel about the common term "ADMIRAL" as is used in these circles?

Otherwise, your advice is actually spot on... BUT, I can assure you that most feminists would kick your ass for your comment "No matter how tough you think your woman is, she is still a woman." What do you mean by that? I know women that would rip your balls off and feed them to you for breakfast for that comment. Pot, kettle... kettle, pot.... How does it feel to know that YOU Mr. Dale just uttered an offensive assault to empowered women the world over?

PM me your address. I'll give you a subscription to Ms. magazine and a few Andrea Dworkin books... You picked the wrong guy to fuck with on this sub subject... My ex girlfriend went to Wellesley College - where Hillary Clinton and countless other powerful women went - and I was fucking trained well, decades ago...

[Dale dug a hole]

Don't worry about Dale......he's not very good at being a people person. But that's understandable when you're a troll.

I got what you meant red, completely. As did most everyone else.

The fact is I am not.

Its the attitude that goes with calling your partner "First Mate".

Its like the old joke, 'I've been married for X years, I would of got less for murder'. I can tell you I'll never try that joke again as my wife ripped me a new one when I did. No matter how tough you think your woman is, she is still a woman, and while we mean it in a totally different way, eg just a bit of fun, they can take it totally the wrong way. As I'm sure many others here have experienced.

And if you to do the 'Yes Dear' thing, I'd suggest you need to give you wife a cuddle and tactfully ask what's going on, as when they are biting at you over silly little things, there is generally something deeper. And it needs to be sorted

Your attitude regarding a standard term is disturbing and quite frankly does brand you as a troll as you are seemingly wanting to BE RIGHT no matter what and baiting those of us who understand terms of endearment, and that particular term in terms of the nautical world... How do you feel about the common term "ADMIRAL" as is used in these circles?

Otherwise, your advice is actually spot on... BUT, I can assure you that most feminists would kick your ass for your comment "No matter how tough you think your woman is, she is still a woman." What do you mean by that? I know women that would rip your balls off and feed them to you for breakfast for that comment. Pot, kettle... kettle, pot.... How does it feel to know that YOU Ms. Dale just uttered an offensive assault to empowered women the world over?

I will still open a door for a feminist and cop the crap. I've had it happen.

I'm happy to talk to any feminist about their beliefs, I respect women and their right to be treated as a man, no problem. Glass ceiling etc.

Being a feminest doesn't mean they want to be a man, they are still different

[redviking]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

[lead]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

Red give it up mate Dales dick stuck in a hole isn't worth the effort mate.
I personally thought first mate is a lovely term to refer to your wife, first mate best mate whatever the rest of us know what you mean.
Cant comment on the does cruising together kill a relationship thing, because every ocean passage i've done was a welcome relief to get the hell away from my wife.
having been through it myself and having two very close friends going through it right now , who i make sure i ring at least once a week to make sure they are ok and just have someone to bleat to.
just dont curl up into a hole, dont be scared to bore someone shitless with what your going through, its what makes us get through talking to people that is. Good luck pal its all up from here

[Dale dug a hole]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

I though with my reply i inferred they want equality.

Admiral, yeh be happy if I got called that in bed. But if the cruising community is using Admiral and mate etc. Must be an american thing. I can see problems. As using such titles delegates roles, which is all and fine on a ship, but for a cruising couple, welll....

Its like the fridge thing, one took control of an area, and then got questioned by the so called Admiral. .

[lead]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

I though with my reply i inferred they want equality.

Admiral, yeh be happy if I got called that in bed. But if the cruising community is using Admiral and mate etc. Must be an american thing. I can see problems. As using such titles delegates roles, which is all and fine on a ship, but for a cruising couple, welll....

Its like the fridge thing, one took control of an area, and then got questioned by the so called Admiral. .

hey limp dick, im sure he didnt call his wife first mate in bed i'm sure he called her by her first name or pet name or whatever its just a title of a thread you dumb prick he was just trying to relate how much she meant to him.
American thing really? i live on the other side of the planet but hey i get get it,'your just one dumb slow mofo

[Dale dug a hole]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

I though with my reply i inferred they want equality.

Admiral, yeh be happy if I got called that in bed. But if the cruising community is using Admiral and mate etc. Must be an american thing. I can see problems. As using such titles delegates roles, which is all and fine on a ship, but for a cruising couple, welll....

Its like the fridge thing, one took control of an area, and then got questioned by the so called Admiral. .

hey limp dick, im sure he didnt call his wife first mate in bed i'm sure he called her by her first name or pet name or whatever its just a title of a thread you dumb prick he was just trying to relate how much she meant to him.
American thing really? i live on the other side of the planet but hey i get get it,'your just one dumb slow mofo

Mofo, don't know that one... Please enlighten me.

If you want to be a drunk divorced buddies with red no worries. But i have to ask have you been to New Zealand.

[lead]

Feminism isn't about opening doors or the acceptance thereof..... Grow up.... They don't want to be treated like men, they just want equality...

How do you feel about the term ADMIRAL?

I though with my reply i inferred they want equality.

Admiral, yeh be happy if I got called that in bed. But if the cruising community is using Admiral and mate etc. Must be an american thing. I can see problems. As using such titles delegates roles, which is all and fine on a ship, but for a cruising couple, welll....

Its like the fridge thing, one took control of an area, and then got questioned by the so called Admiral. .

hey limp dick, im sure he didnt call his wife first mate in bed i'm sure he called her by her first name or pet name or whatever its just a title of a thread you dumb prick he was just trying to relate how much she meant to him.
American thing really? i live on the other side of the planet but hey i get get it,'your just one dumb slow mofo

Mofo, don't know that one... Please enlighten me.

If you want to be a drunk divorced buddies with red no worries. But i have to ask have you been to New Zealand.

come on you know what mofo means cum stain people call you that all the time. And no i've never been to New Zealand but i've heard its a pretty place and theres some great sailing to be had there.

[Paps]

And wtf does anyone having been to NZ have to do with anything related to this thread??

[Dale dug a hole]

No worries Jafa

[lead]

And wtf does anyone having been to NZ have to do with anything related to this thread??

im fucked if i know paps, strange request from him wasn't it? especially since i live in auckland

[Paps]

And wtf does anyone having been to NZ have to do with anything related to this thread??

im fucked if i know paps, strange request from him wasn't it? especially since i live in auckland

Maybe he's beed drinking?

[Paps]

Joined may '12 most active in "General Anarchy". Explains everything.

[lead]

Joined may '12 most active in "General Anarchy". Explains everything.

hmm my only concern is he used the word jaffa, the tosser is obviously from our side of the planet bummer

[Dale dug a hole]

Joined may '12 most active in "General Anarchy". Explains everything.

hmm my only concern is he used the word jaffa, the tosser is obviously from our side of the planet bummer

Its Jafa not Jaffa trust just another fucking aucklander, to get it wrong

[floating dutchman]

Dale just called an Aussie a Jafa. Well this thread just hit rock bottom.

Red: We all know your wife knows about this thread, do yourself and everyone else in CA a favor and start ignoring Dale, please.

He's about to make it No# 3 on my ignore list.

This thread started with the best of intentions but it's about 1/4" from the gutter now.

Calling your wife your 1st mate on a boat rocks! I call mine the cook, then I cook! (only on the boat) Ahh I love my wife, she knows it, I tell her every day. and she knows I have a fucked up sence of humor.

[Joli]

It's pretty easy for frustration to boil over on sailboats when you consider the divergent skills sets that are required (boat handling, sailing, electrical maintenance, engine maintenance, navigation, weather forecasting...) to run the boat safely and successfully. Couple that with the costs associated with operating a floating city and it's easy to see how stresses can boil over and ruin the adventure. Not long ago Beth wrote and article about the reality of sailing/living on a small boat and how their relationship is affected. Maybe Beth or Evans will pipe in?

Regarding pet names, we don't use them, she is not my first mate, she's my wife Polly, I'm not her captain, I'm her husband Bryan. We have jobs aboard that one of us may or may not be better at. I generally park the boat because I have better boat handling skills, we handle maintenance jobs equally, we sail the boat equally, it doesn't matter who sets or trims. Anchoring or mooring I drive and she tells me where to go, it's my job to keep my mouth shut and put the bow exactly over the mooring or anchoring spot with goose eggs. Picking up a mooring requires no strength, we use a Johnson Grab and Go and lift the chain with the windlass then reeve mooring lines.

While mooring/anchoring field antics may be entertaining I honestly feel sorry for the folks who end up having the screaming match. How can that be fun for either party?

My only advise is: get better skills, talk through maneuvers prior to doing them, talk about an escape plan if maneuvers don't go as planned and don't yell, it's counter productive and only makes everyone feel bad.

[MoeAlfa]

I have a long list of silly names for my wife, but First Mate and Admiral are not among them and it says "CAPT" on my ID badge, so the term has a whole 'nother dimension for us.

I don't yell, but I get testy and unpleasant when my executive load climbs past the light sweat level. It's just as bad or worse than yelling and something I'm working hard to change. I also tend not to listen well under those conditions. We have a sort of safe word for when she knows she's right or we're out of her comfort zone safety-wise and I'm not getting the message . The code is to preface the corrective statement with a deep and portentous-sounding "Dude...". When I hear that now, I stop what I'm doing and attend to every word. It also tends to defuse the situation because she has such trouble saying it with a straight face.

[Beau.Vrolyk]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

[jackdaw]

My ex and I owned several boats together. That being said, she liked the IDEA of sailing a lot more that she actually liked sailing. That's not the reason we split, but in part it all plays. Pia is way different; she'll go without me if she can. You can't tell much about a man who loves to sail, but you sure can tell a lot about a woman that does. Look around at the this board as evidence to that. As for me, I'm lucky. She's much better than me.

[PNW Matt B]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

+1.

Names don't matter. Communication does.

[Boomberries]

Joli and Moe - great posts. Honest, genuine and insightful.

Jackdaw, love following yours and Pia's racing. What a great team you are, in many ways.

[MoeAlfa]

I'm lucky. She's much better than me.

I don't mean to pick on you, jackdaw, but what's going on here with the "I married up" stuff? I doubt your wives would agree with that assessment except in fun. Mine, for all her exceptional qualities, certainly wouldn't.

Do successful men suffer from feelings of inadequacy or guilt where women are concerned? Are we still putting certain women, i.e., the ones we don't objectify, on a Victorian pedestal? Is this just the inverse of the misogyny which pervades other parts of this web site?

[redviking]

I have a long list of silly names for my wife, but First Mate and Admiral are not among them and it says "CAPT" on my ID badge, so the term has a whole 'nother dimension for us.

Much ado about nothing... First Mate and Admiral are not first person but are affectionate descriptors when referring to said spouse... My god, panties get into a bunch for naught - not you Moe, just a couple others here... I encouraged my ex to take the Captains class and test - she has the sea time:) - so then what? She would only call me Cap'n only affectionately when a tad irritated when waiting for me to make a decision. I never called her anything other than pet names from the list compiled over the years. Sweets, sugar, babey bebe, etc... Admiral and FM are third person... But I digress...

While there has been a lot of discussion over the years by cruisers over "Pink Jobs" and whatnot, I cook, I clean as did she. She varnished, i replaced belts, racors and oil. That's about as pink and blue as it got... Captain, Admiral and FM never was a piece of that.

SO, I guess my point is, every cruising couple will establish their own program. We had a gay couple in the slip next to us and one of them went to work, and the other did the laundry and painted the decks, etc... Who is the Captain and who is the Admiral? Still don't know, but they worked out the balance that worked for them.

A long time ago, we established the whole Ma'am and Sir thing. Some friends that were sailing with us asked about it and we explained that those were attention getting and urgency words that were respectful when something really needed to be done now. That worked for us. Your results may vary.

[jackdaw]

I'm lucky. She's much better than me.

I don't mean to pick on you, jackdaw, but what's going on here with the "I married up" stuff? I doubt your wives would agree with that assessment except in fun. Mine, for all her exceptional qualities, certainly wouldn't.

Do successful men suffer from feelings of inadequacy or guilt where women are concerned? Are we still putting certain women, i.e., the ones we don't objectify, on a Victorian pedestal? Is this just the inverse of the misogyny which pervades other parts of this web site?

Moe,

No offence taken. But for all my idiot savant-like skills that make me seem quite magical to some of the people (particularly children) some of the time, I really think she is a better person than I am, taken on the whole. And in her cold, calculated Germanic matter, I'm 100% certain she's agree with me. ;^)

[MoeAlfa]

I'm lucky. She's much better than me.

I don't mean to pick on you, jackdaw, but what's going on here with the "I married up" stuff? I doubt your wives would agree with that assessment except in fun. Mine, for all her exceptional qualities, certainly wouldn't.

Do successful men suffer from feelings of inadequacy or guilt where women are concerned? Are we still putting certain women, i.e., the ones we don't objectify, on a Victorian pedestal? Is this just the inverse of the misogyny which pervades other parts of this web site?

Moe,

No offence taken. But for all my idiot savant-like skills that make me seem quite magical to some of the people (particularly children) some of the time, I really think she is a better person than I am, taken on the whole. And in her cold, calculated Germanic matter, I'm 100% certain she's agree with me. ;^)

I used to have the same feeling about my wife, but decided it couldn't be true. After all, why would a superior person saddle herself with a slob such as I except out of mere charity, which would have been no great favor and, frankly, wasn't her style? The more I see of the world, the better I think the deal has been for both of us.

[jackdaw]

Moe, I think we are (trying) to say the same thing. I'm pretty sure she feels lucky too. Balance.

[austin1972]

Someone said (forget who) to take a page from your dog.
I did that over the weekend. It works!

My wife thinks I'm a god right now. I guess that's dog in reverse, so I'm close.
What easy and useful advice.

[jkdubs808]

I call my girl 'bow goddess'........she likes it and has earned it from doing bow on various race boats. Names make life fun if you ask me.

Of course on the cruising boat she'll be the admiral.....I'm merely the bus driver lol.

[MoeAlfa]

Someone said (forget who) to take a page from your dog.
I did that over the weekend. It works!=

Never ...give a dog your pager number.

[redviking]

Someone said (forget who) to take a page from your dog.
I did that over the weekend. It works!=

Never ...give a dog your pager number.

Whatz a pager?

[MoeAlfa]

Someone said (forget who) to take a page from your dog.
I did that over the weekend. It works!=

Never ...give a dog your pager number.

Whatz a pager?

A malignant belt tumor whose prevalence has decreased due to a cellular parasite.

[Dale dug a hole]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

Yes, I can be a bit one eyed. I question you in regards to the insults and slurs you say I have done. Making an ass out of myself, we'll I have done that before

[Trickypig]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

Yes, I can be a bit one eyed. I question you in regards to the insults and slurs you say I have done. Making an ass out of myself, we'll I have done that before

Dale you gotta take a different tone between Political Anarchy, Sailing Anarchy and Cruising Anarchy. The nice guys are in Cruising Anarchy.

I sorta get what you're saying, but I'm afraid I'm a bit over political correctness, as it's really an intimate understanding we all need and want in our relationships. Not rules.

[austin1972]

Dale you gotta take a different tone between Political Anarchy, Sailing Anarchy and Cruising Anarchy. The nice guys are in Cruising Anarchy.

I sorta get what you're saying, but I'm afraid I'm a bit over political correctness, as it's really an intimate understanding we all need and want in our relationships. Not rules.

HTFU!

[Trickypig]

See.. even Austin Powers used a smiley....

[4decksquirrel]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

Yes, I can be a bit one eyed. I question you in regards to the insults and slurs you say I have done. Making an ass out of myself, we'll I have done that before

Dale you gotta take a different tone between Political Anarchy, Sailing Anarchy and Cruising Anarchy. The nice guys are in Cruising Anarchy.

I sorta get what you're saying, but I'm afraid I'm a bit over political correctness, as it's really an intimate understanding we all need and want in our relationships. Not rules.

I 100% agree with you here. As a girl who can handle my sh!t on a boat very well, I have absolutely no problem with the term first mate, captain or admiral. I don't find it in any way degrading or demeaning. I think it's cute nautical pet names that are not meant to put the wife/fiancee/girlfriend down.

What I have a problem with is that this thread, which I was HIGHLY enjoying reading and participating in, has been hijacked and degraded. I gained some very valuable insights from the posts. As soon as I read it I sent it to dubs so he could read it to. So please, if you don't have something positive or constructive to say, don't say it! Some of us actually want to learn from others.

[Ishmael]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

Yes, I can be a bit one eyed. I question you in regards to the insults and slurs you say I have done. Making an ass out of myself, we'll I have done that before

Dale you gotta take a different tone between Political Anarchy, Sailing Anarchy and Cruising Anarchy. The nice guys are in Cruising Anarchy.

I sorta get what you're saying, but I'm afraid I'm a bit over political correctness, as it's really an intimate understanding we all need and want in our relationships. Not rules.

I 100% agree with you here. As a girl who can handle my sh!t on a boat very well, I have absolutely no problem with the term first mate, captain or admiral. I don't find it in any way degrading or demeaning. I think it's cute nautical pet names that are not meant to put the wife/fiancee/girlfriend down.

What I have a problem with is that this thread, which I was HIGHLY enjoying reading and participating in, has been hijacked and degraded. I gained some very valuable insights from the posts. As soon as I read it I sent it to dubs so he could read it to. So please, if you don't have something positive or constructive to say, don't say it! Some of us actually want to learn from others.

+ a bazillion

[austin1972]

See.. even Austin Powers used a smiley....

[redviking]

Yeah Ms. Squirrel, I concur. As Steve Martin once said, "Assholes do vex me!" I enjoyed reading the thread and uh, I hope someone learned enuf to make sure that their berth isn't as empty as mine will be tonight... But the hijacking is all part of the master plan to avoid conscious thought about stuff most never think about until it is too late.

Talked to Ms. Ex-Viking tonight... She still has a storm job up and I wanna run a spinnaker... The foredeck is well a weird place right now but at least she hasn't fallen completely overboard yet.

[triciarob]

Totally agree with Ms Squirrel.

Red, to be honest, don't know how Rob and I make it work, it just does. He is my best friend, my lover and my partner in life. I'm short tempered and grumpy and he totally won't argue. Most of the time he is bloody reasonable and it drives me crazy. But I would rather have him here driving me crazy than not.

I really pushed for the cruising life and mostly enjoy it. I hate bad weather, strong winds and big waves (they make me whimper), but I know I have to deal with this in order to live this life so I do and I cope better than I think I will.

Mostly we are just friends and partners and share everything.

Good luck to you, things get better over time and also time gives you a different perspective on your past.

Tricia

PS we're not married but have been together for over 20 years and have been living on board and cruising for nigh on 12 on a 25 footer.

[jkdubs808]

Dale,

Thanks to your self righteous crap this thread has turned from good to shit. Please simply go away. No one here asked for your egotistical comments nor your "advice". Certainly, no one asked for your insults and slurs. You've stumbled into the wrong part of Anarchy and you're making an ass of yourself.

BV

Yes, I can be a bit one eyed. I question you in regards to the insults and slurs you say I have done. Making an ass out of myself, we'll I have done that before

Dale you gotta take a different tone between Political Anarchy, Sailing Anarchy and Cruising Anarchy. The nice guys are in Cruising Anarchy.

I sorta get what you're saying, but I'm afraid I'm a bit over political correctness, as it's really an intimate understanding we all need and want in our relationships. Not rules.

I 100% agree with you here. As a girl who can handle my sh!t on a boat very well, I have absolutely no problem with the term first mate, captain or admiral. I don't find it in any way degrading or demeaning. I think it's cute nautical pet names that are not meant to put the wife/fiancee/girlfriend down.

What I have a problem with is that this thread, which I was HIGHLY enjoying reading and participating in, has been hijacked and degraded. I gained some very valuable insights from the posts. As soon as I read it I sent it to dubs so he could read it to. So please, if you don't have something positive or constructive to say, don't say it! Some of us actually want to learn from others.

+ a bazillion

+ another million on top of Ish's bazillion

[redviking]

Totally agree with Ms Squirrel.

Red, to be honest, don't know how Rob and I make it work, it just does. He is my best friend, my lover and my partner in life. I'm short tempered and grumpy and he totally won't argue. Most of the time he is bloody reasonable and it drives me crazy. But I would rather have him here driving me crazy than not.

I really pushed for the cruising life and mostly enjoy it. I hate bad weather, strong winds and big waves (they make me whimper), but I know I have to deal with this in order to live this life so I do and I cope better than I think I will.

Mostly we are just friends and partners and share everything.

Good luck to you, things get better over time and also time gives you a different perspective on your past.

Tricia

PS we're not married but have been together for over 20 years and have been living on board and cruising for nigh on 12 on a 25 footer.

So sweet.... My wife - at the time just in case someone wants to challenge - and I used to cruise extensively during the short New England summers aboard our 25 footer. I equipped her well, but no refrigeration, just blocks of ice and a porta pottie and uh, yeah, at 25 feet you are more than lovers, you have to be best friends. Thanks for sharing... Sometimes I wish I could go back. In those days, the worst thing that could happen is that we would have to navigate in the fog sans radar and pick up a lobster pot with an inbound ship smack dab under the Newport RI bridge and after that got sorted out - man! the sex was better than ever. Either because I cut us free before we got run down, or because I was so freaking psyched she didn't want to jump into the dink and attempt to row to shore.

Here she is after Hurricane Ernesto - which we rode out on the hook - doing her fantasy football draft in Montauk NY... OH, memories!!!!

 DSCN1596.JPG   388.98K   118 downloads

[Dale dug a hole]

Wont be me... good luck.

I'm sure the storm sail will be stowed away soon.

[Paps]

Thats probably venturing into "slightly too much information" territory Red.

[froggie]

Thats probably venturing into "slightly too much information" territory Red.

Especially without pictures !! Of her, anyway . . . of you, I'm not too sure . . .
.

[redviking]

Thats probably venturing into "slightly too much information" territory Red.

Especially without pictures !! Of her, anyway . . . of you, I'm not too sure . . .
.

I once anchored off of Cuckold Point near Annapolis. The pay per view site will be up soon... Chill... Legal just got done reviewing the business model. Porn on a boat... Get your credit card out!