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#1 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:41 PM

First off, this is not a religous rant!

 

I am a church going Christian, as is my wife. We attend a Church with an excellent youth program that has been very beneficial to the two, special needs, children we adopted 7 years ago.

 

I don't presume to judge or otherwise force my opinion on others.

 

Recently we had gone through a really rough patch in our relationship. We were on the verge of divorce and could not seem to fix what was wrong. It was a very miserable time for both of us.

 

At my wifes urging we attended a church sponsored "marriage seminar" that was based on a book called "Love and Respect".It truly saved our 23 year marriage!

 

The concept is a simple one. While it is based in religous doctrine, I believe it applies to everyone.

 

Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink.

 

We used to get on the "crazy cycle" of her feeling unloved and me feeling unrespected and neither of us giving in. We learned how to stop that and instead work through to a place where we trust the other to be the person that we married.

 

We have taken the class twice in the last two years.. The second time around was even more clarifying than the first.

 

After 23 years, we are happier than we have ever been. It doesn't mean it is perfect, just that we understand each others needs better. We communicate better.

 

If you have found yourself struggling with your relationship, I strongly encourage you to give this a chance. You have very little to lose and everything to gain.

 

WL

 

PS- Since this is Anarchy feel free to flame away! :P



#2 ibcrewin

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:45 PM

After 23 years, we are happier than we have ever been. It doesn't mean it is perfect, just that we understand each others needs better. We communicate better.


I've been happily married for 10 years, (together for 18); communication is part of it, but KNOWING what to do with that information is the other part of it. Good on you for pulling out of the shitty part. 



#3 R Booth

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:45 PM

Oh fuk me, but this oughta be good.

 

 

Bacon flavored, cocaine scented popcorn, anyone?.....



#4 TheFlash

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:54 PM

whatever works for you.



#5 bmiller

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:59 PM

My first wife and I went to one of these things at the urging of the MIL. We actually got caught by the minister/pastor/father/whateverhewas, sneaking out the back door of the motel where it was held. 

 

Marriage lasted long enough to produce a second kid, but in the end she was still bat shit crazy.

 

If it works for some I say great, have at it.



#6 Point Break

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 04:00 PM

Good on ya. My wife and our marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me. While not for everybody it has been wonderful for me. If you have that connection, its worth working at to keep it healthy.

 

Wish you the best.



#7 mikewof

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 04:11 PM

I find that gin helps.

#8 ibcrewin

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 04:44 PM

I find that gin helps.

Yes, getting the missus liquored up every now and then doesn't hurt :)



#9 jkdubs808

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 04:45 PM

Marriage #1 failed, but not cuz of major problems in our relationship.

Hopefully #2 when it happens will be better.

Glad you found that. Being able to go back to the way it was when you got married is key, right up there with good communication and trust. Good on ya!

#10 Timo42

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:04 PM

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"



#11 Guitar

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:39 PM

30 years later...still on. Good for you if you feel she is the one. It is a work in progress ALWAYS.



#12 chester

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:53 PM

you asked for it:

 

"Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink."  typical patriarchial, gender-based bullshit that is used to sustain hierarchical, uneven social and personal outcomes.  all humans need to feel love and respect...we are all human and can't be forever defined by the sexual organs we were born with.  sorry.



#13 hard aground

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:56 PM

Marriage is like anchoring a sailboat...............

sometimes it sets real nice,

and sometimes it's a real drag.



#14 Mojo Risin

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 05:56 PM

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."



#15 LenP

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 06:46 PM

Good for you guys. Congrats on working through your issues ( we all have them ), and the next 23 be even better than the past 23.



#16 boomer

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:04 PM

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

or "whatever you want dear"

 

and never ever, no matter what tell her, "calm down"



#17 TheFlash

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:08 PM

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

or "whatever you want dear"

"Whatever you want" can be tricky. It needs to be that sentiment, but done in a way such that you express an opinion, and through her persuasive powers you eventually agree that not only is it best to do what she wants, but if you had done it your way it would have been unmitigated disaster.



#18 bugger

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:20 PM

The best things in life are the things that you have to work at to achieve. 

 

Bravo.  Thanks for sharing. 



#19 kmccabe

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:25 PM

Let me tell you... it's a magic charm... 

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"



Smart and wise man you are Mitch.  

 

 

 

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

or "whatever you want dear"

"Whatever you want" can be tricky. It needs to be that sentiment, but done in a way such that you express an opinion, and through her persuasive powers you eventually agree that not only is it best to do what she wants, but if you had done it your way it would have been unmitigated disaster.



#20 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:26 PM

you asked for it:

 

"Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink."  typical patriarchial, gender-based bullshit that is used to sustain hierarchical, uneven social and personal outcomes.  all humans need to feel love and respect...we are all human and can't be forever defined by the sexual organs we were born with.  sorry.

Great quote! Have you actually read the book or just excerpts? As far as it being "patriarchial, gender-based bullshit" I would like to point out that for my wife and I, it works. She is very much a Type A personality, professional, educated, and strong willed woman. Yet she cannot believe the change in me after just a subtle change in how she's says things to me.  It truly is in the message and how we percieve what is being said.

One great quote during the class was that "While men may be the head of the house, the woman is the neck that steers the direction the head goes".

 

WL

 

PS- I am amazed by the number of supportive responses out there. Nice to know others believe in sticking it out and not throwing away something that is very special.



#21 Timo42

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:40 PM

Just remember "Fine!" isn't, and "Do what ever you want!" isn't permission.



#22 boomer

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:48 PM

 

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

or "whatever you want dear"

"Whatever you want" can be tricky. It needs to be that sentiment, but done in a way such that you express an opinion, and through her persuasive powers you eventually agree that not only is it best to do what she wants, but if you had done it your way it would have been unmitigated disaster.

 

My wife doesn't start a task she's unfamiliar with, or buy something, or have it installed or built till she researches everything thoroughly and I trust her judgement.



#23 boomer

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 07:50 PM

Just remember "Fine!" isn't, and "Do what ever you want!" isn't permission.

 

Precisely, and if you look at their eyes when they say it.....you know exactly what it means.



#24 jerseyguy

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:04 PM

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

Yes dear, you're right, I'm sorry.



#25 LarryE

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:35 PM

Just got back from Kauai for our 40th.
Sailing together for 43 years.
Sailed today, all is well.

#26 Mojo Risin

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:39 PM

Just remember "Fine!" isn't, and "Do what ever you want!" isn't permission.

And, "you look fine" doesn't mean she looks good.



#27 mikewof

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:47 PM


Two magic words...
 
 
 
 
"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."
 
or "whatever you want dear"
 
and never ever, no matter what tell her, "calm down"

What about "calm the fuck down"? Is that okay?

#28 Gouvernail

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:57 PM

No matter how cynical you become about marriage it will never be enough to keep up

#29 Bluto

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 10:01 PM

In July I will have been married for 25 years.If  I would have killed her instead I'd be getting out about now.



#30 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 10:02 PM

Just got back from Kauai for our 40th.
Sailing together for 43 years.
Sailed today, all is well.

Wow- Congatulations on all three counts!

 

WL



#31 Point Break

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 10:51 PM

you asked for it:
 
"Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink."  typical patriarchial, gender-based bullshit that is used to sustain hierarchical, uneven social and personal outcomes.  all humans need to feel love and respect...we are all human and can't be forever defined by the sexual organs we were born with.  sorry.

Great quote! Have you actually read the book or just excerpts? As far as it being "patriarchial, gender-based bullshit" I would like to point out that for my wife and I, it works. She is very much a Type A personality, professional, educated, and strong willed woman. Yet she cannot believe the change in me after just a subtle change in how she's says things to me.  It truly is in the message and how we percieve what is being said.
One great quote during the class was that "While men may be the head of the house, the woman is the neck that steers the direction the head goes".
 
WL
 
PS- I am amazed by the number of supportive responses out there. Nice to know others believe in sticking it out and not throwing away something that is very special.
One of the things I appreciate most about Mrs PB is the way she manages our interactions. Without giving any ground on her own view, she does a great job of managing my male characteristics. Makes me absolutely committed to do the same in return.

#32 chester

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 10:58 PM

you asked for it:

 

"Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink."  typical patriarchial, gender-based bullshit that is used to sustain hierarchical, uneven social and personal outcomes.  all humans need to feel love and respect...we are all human and can't be forever defined by the sexual organs we were born with.  sorry.

Great quote! Have you actually read the book or just excerpts? As far as it being "patriarchial, gender-based bullshit" I would like to point out that for my wife and I, it works. She is very much a Type A personality, professional, educated, and strong willed woman. Yet she cannot believe the change in me after just a subtle change in how she's says things to me.  It truly is in the message and how we percieve what is being said.

One great quote during the class was that "While men may be the head of the house, the woman is the neck that steers the direction the head goes".

 

WL

 

PS- I am amazed by the number of supportive responses out there. Nice to know others believe in sticking it out and not throwing away something that is very special.

 

Hi WL

 

I was remiss in not also offering congratulations and i mean that sincerely.  Just because i'm a humanist doesn't mean i don't think two people can't or shouldn't make long term, even life time committments and that they owe it to each other and themselves to try to make that work!  ;>).  I'm truly glad that you and your wife found a way to work through a rough patch and are happy together again.

 

 

Chester



#33 Timo42

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:01 PM

 

 


Two magic words...
 
 
 
 
"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."
 
or "whatever you want dear"
 
and never ever, no matter what tell her, "calm down"

What about "calm the fuck down"? Is that okay?

 

Ok, that explains the phone flinging...



#34 Last Post By

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:11 PM

 

whatever works for you.

While doing the horizontal filth with my ex I once had the nerve to ask her if it was good for her. She said she had had bigger. Apparently replying "yeah, I can tell" was the wrong answer and it was all over shortly after that
 
Moral of the story: If it floats, flies or fucks; RENT IT!

#35 Charlie Foxtrot

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:17 PM

Men are from Mars -- Women are from Alpha-Centauri Beta B



#36 chinabald

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:22 PM

I've been married since 1988. In 1989 I wanted a divorce and she first said ok then she told me I owed it to her to go to counseling. Yeah, that's what I thought too "owed" it to her But I agreed and 24 happy years later I glad she had the nerve to call me out and I had the sense to listen.

Marriage doesn't work for everyone but its working for me. And for that I am happy.

#37 pogen

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:26 PM

whatever works for you.

While doing the horizontal filth with my ex I once had the nerve to ask her if it was good for her. She said she had had bigger. Apparently replying "yeah, I can tell" was the wrong answer and it was all over shortly after that
 
Moral of the story: If it floats, flies or fucks; RENT IT!

 

Thanks, I needed that.



#38 ؏ΩӁقڝӃڜ Җ

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:33 PM

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

 

and remember to put the toilet seat down.



#39 R Booth

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 11:42 PM

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

 

and remember to put the toilet seat down.

 

 

But do it carefully, or else you might give her a concussion....



#40 hard aground

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 01:03 AM

Men are from Mars -- Women are from Alpha-Centauri Beta B

and have Kil-o-Zap guns



#41 grabbler

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 01:34 AM

24 years into it this year...one rule holds it together...as mean as she is as a wife, imagine her as an ex-wife...

#42 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:50 AM

 

 


Two magic words...
 
 
 
 
"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."
 
or "whatever you want dear"
 
and never ever, no matter what tell her, "calm down"

What about "calm the fuck down"? Is that okay?

 

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.



#43 B.J. Porter

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:54 AM

First off, this is not a religous rant!

 

I am a church going Christian, as is my wife. We attend a Church with an excellent youth program that has been very beneficial to the two, special needs, children we adopted 7 years ago.

 

I don't presume to judge or otherwise force my opinion on others.

 

Recently we had gone through a really rough patch in our relationship. We were on the verge of divorce and could not seem to fix what was wrong. It was a very miserable time for both of us.

 

At my wifes urging we attended a church sponsored "marriage seminar" that was based on a book called "Love and Respect".It truly saved our 23 year marriage!

 

The concept is a simple one. While it is based in religous doctrine, I believe it applies to everyone.

 

Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink.

 

We used to get on the "crazy cycle" of her feeling unloved and me feeling unrespected and neither of us giving in. We learned how to stop that and instead work through to a place where we trust the other to be the person that we married.

 

We have taken the class twice in the last two years.. The second time around was even more clarifying than the first.

 

After 23 years, we are happier than we have ever been. It doesn't mean it is perfect, just that we understand each others needs better. We communicate better.

 

If you have found yourself struggling with your relationship, I strongly encourage you to give this a chance. You have very little to lose and everything to gain.

 

WL

 

PS- Since this is Anarchy feel free to flame away! :P

 

 

Glad it worked for you - always happier to hear about people pulling it together instead of falling apart.

 

I'm not sure if I ever needed it I could buy into a program with the whole Blue/Pink  Respect/Love Head of the House sort of message.  From where I sit, respect is the #1 thing (it's assumed you love each other...) to make it work.  Because most of the bad juju couples build up I think comes when they do not respect the other person.  I've seen couples that love each other treat each other so shabbily that they can not have a good healthy argument without causing damage. 

 

We just past 20 years married (25+ together), so far it's been great. 



#44 Life Buoy 15

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:20 AM

Yep 26 years for us this year - 30 together. Some truly rough patches but so glad we made it. Kids will be gone all to soon and we will miss them but looking forward to the rest of our lives together. She is still the smartest, most decent and hottest women I have ever met. I too am perfect apart from "spending so much time at that fucking Yacht club". Ok I made the first part of that last sentence up.

#45 Mark K

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:25 AM

 

Two magic words...

 

 

 

 

"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."

 

 

and remember to put the toilet seat down.

 

 I won that one, but I don't recommend anybody else attempt it. My yes dears, you see, are goddamned polished masterpieces. I can register the full range, from joy to rage, minor irritation to the purest of  "Thank you!",  and never ever ever ever ever is there even a the slightest baby flea hint of insubordination in those babies.



#46 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:32 AM

In July I will have been married for 25 years.If  I would have killed her instead I'd be getting out about now.

 

Did your wife find you crying in the kitchen over your coffee, thinking about the life you could have had on parole?



#47 USA190520

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:37 AM


Just remember "Fine!" isn't, and "Do what ever you want!" isn't permission.

 
Precisely, and if you look at their eyes when they say it.....you know exactly what it means.

Blink once for yes, twice for no...

#48 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:38 AM

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.



#49 USA190520

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:42 AM


 


 



Two magic words...
 
 
 
 
"Yes dear"

Followed by "anything you say dear."
 
or "whatever you want dear"
 
and never ever, no matter what tell her, "calm down"
What about "calm the fuck down"? Is that okay?
 
No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

Man who spends much time in doghouse soon end up in cathouse.

#50 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 11:23 AM

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

 

Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.



#51 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 11:28 AM

 

 

 

 


Man who spends much time in doghouse soon end up in cathouse.

 

Yes another way of saying, "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."



#52 Walt

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 11:42 AM

second marriages are the proof that love conquers experience...



#53 Tucky

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 02:22 PM

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

As Bob Dylan said "If you can read my mind, why must I even speak"

 

Congratulations to all here that are happily married.



#54 R Booth

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 02:39 PM

The Nurse and I first hooked up in '84. She hates my f'ng guts now......but that's what I love about her.....:lol:



#55 B.J. Porter

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:03 PM

 

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

 

Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.

 

It's kind of funny - I have enough hearing loss that I need hearing aids (that's not the funny part).  The worst loss is in the mid range of frequencies - as the audiologist said "in the range of most women and children's voices".

 

When I describe my loss to men, the usual joking response is something along the lines of "and what's the problem with that?"



#56 doghouse

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:04 PM

Good on ya. My wife and our marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me. While not for everybody it has been wonderful for me. If you have that connection, its worth working at to keep it healthy.

 

Wish you the best.

 

Yessir.



#57 B.J. Porter

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:07 PM

 

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

 

Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.

 

 

Relevant:

 

A Thoughtful Look at Men and Women

SHE DRIVES FOR A RELATIONSHIP. HE'S LOST IN THE TRANSMISSION
By DAVE BARRY

CONTRARY to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a
long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a
guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys,
it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what
women mean by the term relationship.

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks
her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights
later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They
continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them
is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize
that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud
silence. She thinks to herself, "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I
said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he
thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't
want, or isn't sure of." And Roger is thinking, "Gosh. Six months."

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we
are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just
going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading
toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready
for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking... so that means it was... let's see... February when
we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's,
which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil
change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm
reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed--even before I sensed
it--that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why
he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of
being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What
cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a
goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

COMMUNICATIONS GAP

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,
too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the
way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty.
That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight
to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do
care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to
brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She
breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really
know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries
to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he
thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

A BEFUDDLED BEAU

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel
that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he
opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never
heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that
something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure
there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's
better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding
world hunger. )

IT'S ANALYSIS TIME

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them,
and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In
painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he
said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,
and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for
weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball
one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before
serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"


#58 doghouse

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 03:08 PM

 

 

 

 

 


Man who spends much time in doghouse soon end up in cathouse.

 

Yes another way of saying, "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

 

Y'all are throwing my name around way too freely in here.



#59 Touch of Gray

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 04:29 PM

Is good.  Well not so much

 

OK, so It's still good.  Well, even more not so much.

 

Damn, it just keeps getting better.

 

Three's a charm!

 

TOG



#60 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 04:35 PM


 


No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 
I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.
 
Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.
 
By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.
 
Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.
 
It's kind of funny - I have enough hearing loss that I need hearing aids (that's not the funny part).  The worst loss is in the mid range of frequencies - as the audiologist said "in the range of most women and children's voices".
 
When I describe my loss to men, the usual joking response is something along the lines of "and what's the problem with that?"

Your wife is a physician, can you ask her a medical question?

What life choices can I make to get the kind of hearing loss that you have? It sounds delightful.

#61 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 04:35 PM

 

 

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

 

Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.

 

It's kind of funny - I have enough hearing loss that I need hearing aids (that's not the funny part).  The worst loss is in the mid range of frequencies - as the audiologist said "in the range of most women and children's voices".

 

When I describe my loss to men, the usual joking response is something along the lines of "and what's the problem with that?"

 

My hearing loss is more on my left then my right, so if I'm laying down, I can put my right ear down and sleep peacefully.

If attention is required...I have my uh-hu's and uh-uh's down pat, and have learned when to give the appropriate reply.

 

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.



#62 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 04:36 PM

 

 

No...that phrase above all others will land you in the doghouse the quickest.

 

I've found that I can pretty much say whatever I want, considering none of the words that leave my piehole ever actually find their way into her head.

 

Apparently women are half-duplex, like walkie-talkies rather than telephones. They can listen or talk, but not do both at the same time. And since many women never atually stop talking, I don't need to worry about any of my own words entering their heads.

 

By the way, married for nearly 15 years, next year it will be 150 years.

 

Generally I've found men to tune out women rather then the reverse...there are exceptions though.

 

 

Relevant:

 

A Thoughtful Look at Men and Women

SHE DRIVES FOR A RELATIONSHIP. HE'S LOST IN THE TRANSMISSION
By DAVE BARRY

CONTRARY to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a
long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a
guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys,
it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what
women mean by the term relationship.

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks
her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights
later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They
continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them
is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize
that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud
silence. She thinks to herself, "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I
said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he
thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't
want, or isn't sure of." And Roger is thinking, "Gosh. Six months."

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we
are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just
going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading
toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready
for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking... so that means it was... let's see... February when
we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's,
which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil
change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm
reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed--even before I sensed
it--that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why
he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of
being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What
cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a
goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

COMMUNICATIONS GAP

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,
too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the
way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty.
That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight
to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do
care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to
brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She
breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really
know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries
to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he
thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

A BEFUDDLED BEAU

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel
that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he
opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never
heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that
something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure
there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's
better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding
world hunger. )

IT'S ANALYSIS TIME

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them,
and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In
painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he
said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,
and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for
weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball
one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before
serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

 

 That's choice!



#63 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 04:52 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.
When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

If too many people were like you, the alcohol, tobacco, sailboat, motorcycle, video game, hunting, golf, racecar, sports industries would go out of business, the economy would collapse and you and your wife would have a pleasant chat in the smouldering wreckage of what was once a society.

So be thankful for people like us.

Love may make the world go 'round but it's WD-40 that keeps it from grinding to a stop. Remind yourself of that now and then.

#64 Point Break

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:01 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 

Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.



#65 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:07 PM




Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.
When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 
Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.
No fucking? Jeez, maybe your schedule is full of too much talking, wine.and Jacuzzi.

If the inventors of talking, wine.and Jacuzzi could see how you two are wasting their gift they would turn in their graves ... those were invented for a specific reason y'know.

#66 Point Break

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:15 PM

 




Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.
When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 
Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.
No fucking? Jeez, maybe your schedule is full of too much talking, wine.and Jacuzzi.

If the inventors of talking, wine.and Jacuzzi could see how you two are wasting their gift they would turn in their graves ... those were invented for a specific reason y'know.

That part of our lives together is and shall remain......private.

 

However............no complaints.  B)



#67 boomer

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:20 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 

Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.

 

That's pretty much us to the tee as well. We can converse for hours, no matter what we're doing.

 

Sounds like both our wives are outdoor types, who are active and stay in shape which has a lot of benefits.

 

More then anything, we know how to work around our differences, and rely on each others strengths to achieve our goals together.



#68 Southern Cross

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:37 PM

I've always been attracted to the beautiful, wild, exotic psychopaths, the ones that make you give up everything and abandon all rational and earthly posessions. The ones you shouldn't bring home to mother. The last one was an Apache. Doomed from the beginning. But she was the love of my life. Hats off to the believers and those that make it work.

#69 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:52 PM

That part of our lives together is and shall remain......private.
 
However............no complaints.  B)

Together huh?

Jacuzzi, hmmm?

Private Jacuzzi on the boat with wine?

ooh lala sexy, la crème de passion! L'amour! Point Break and the missus and the mattress and the private no-complaining time ...



#70 Point Break

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:11 PM

That part of our lives together is and shall remain......private.
 
However............no complaints.  B)

Together huh?

Jacuzzi, hmmm?

Private Jacuzzi on the boat with wine?

ooh lala sexy, la crème de passion! L'amour! Point Break and the missus and the mattress and the private no-complaining time ...

 

Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you're..........odd?



#71 craigiri

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:14 PM

40 years this year.

 

The secret is to shut up..........

 

Respect? Well, she still thinks I know everything......although not quite as much as before.  :wacko:



#72 Delta Blues

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:30 PM

I stay married because I want to lead a long life.  I read a research study that men who marry live longer than men who don't marry.  So far I have figured out it is a long slow painful death!



#73 On the Hard

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 08:09 PM

A few things

 

First, congrats! we're at milepost 27 and it has been a wonderful trip. My wife works her ass off when most of her friends don't because I don't have family money and can't seem to supply our lifestyle on my own. She's not happy about having to work but voices her frustrations.....very occasionally.....in a way that doesn't sound like whining.

 

Second, and to your original point, we have always viewed marriage as something created by God, and therefore sacred. Not just a domestic partnership. Not just let's make this permanent until one of us changes our mind. But something that would actually grieve God if we were to break apart. That perspective and healthy mutual respect have made for a relationship that is more satisfying and on deeper levels than I ever would have imagined 27 years ago. All you athiests can think I'm full of shit and that's fine. I'll just say that I wouldn't be as happy and fulfilled with a different world view.

 

Third, that Dave Berry piece is just awesome.

 

Fourth, in spite of my pious side, I think Ron White is about the funniest guy on the planet. i love one of his lines in particular. "I'm a pretty good ol' dog, but it's hard to keep me under the porch if you don't pet me once in a while!" "I know, I've seen me do it!"



#74 Cruisin Loser

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 08:15 PM

We've been together for 38 years, married for 35. I can't imagine it any other way. Since we met in college, she's the only girl for whom I've ever had eyes.

 

I married a hell of a lot better than she did.



#75 mikewof

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 08:24 PM



That part of our lives together is and shall remain......private.
 
However............no complaints.  B)

Together huh?

Jacuzzi, hmmm?

Private Jacuzzi on the boat with wine?

ooh lala sexy, la crème de passion! L'amour! Point Break and the missus and the mattress and the private no-complaining time ...
 
Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you're..........odd?
WTF? If you're going to start picking up insults about me.from my wife then it's only fair that I should be able to do the same with yours.

#76 Point Break

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 08:37 PM

 

 



That part of our lives together is and shall remain......private.
 
However............no complaints.  B)

Together huh?

Jacuzzi, hmmm?

Private Jacuzzi on the boat with wine?

ooh lala sexy, la crème de passion! L'amour! Point Break and the missus and the mattress and the private no-complaining time ...
 
Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you're..........odd?
WTF? If you're going to start picking up insults about me.from my wife then it's only fair that I should be able to do the same with yours.

LOOK! Shiny object.............



#77 TPG

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 09:56 PM

Ratz and I do our thang. And it works. No piece of paper or shiny shit, but it works.



#78 R Booth

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 10:10 PM

Ratz and I do our thang. And it works. No piece of paper or shiny shit, but it works.

 

 

Yup, same here. Plus I'm highly fuking allergic to suits, churches and wedding cake........



#79 olaf hart

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 10:23 PM


Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.
When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 
Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.
 
That's pretty much us to the tee as well. We can converse for hours, no matter what we're doing.
 
Sounds like both our wives are outdoor types, who are active and stay in shape which has a lot of benefits.
 
More then anything, we know how to work around our differences, and rely on each others strengths to achieve our goals together.

We have just passed 40 years, we always play together and sometimes worked together.

The key is humility, it is important for a guy to realise that he can be wrong up to 5% of the time.

#80 floating dutchman

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 11:51 AM

you asked for it:

 

"Men need to feel respected in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you believe your spouse is a basically a good hearted person and are willing to have faith in that, you can change your relationship dramatically. We hear and see things completely different. Men hear and see things through Blue and women through Pink."  typical patriarchial, gender-based bullshit that is used to sustain hierarchical, uneven social and personal outcomes.  all humans need to feel love and respect...we are all human and can't be forever defined by the sexual organs we were born with.  sorry.

 

So, in a nutshell, Guys need sex to feel loved and chick's need to feel loved to want sex?

 

Cue the buttered toast strapped to the back of a cat gft.

 

I've been married since 1988. In 1989 I wanted a divorce and she first said ok then she told me I owed it to her to go to counseling. Yeah, that's what I thought too "owed" it to her But I agreed and 24 happy years later I glad she had the nerve to call me out and I had the sense to listen.

Marriage doesn't work for everyone but its working for me. And for that I am happy.

 

 

Over ten years, last week got pulled up for being a grumpy bugger.  She was right.  Started smiling and the whole house become a happier place.

Sometimes I wonder why I love her,  Most of the time I just love her.



#81 LenP

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 01:25 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 

Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.

 

Married 23 years here and we are closer today than ever before. My greatest joy is just seeing her smile. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the world I would trade for being able to see that smile each day.



#82 kmccabe

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 01:50 PM

she's on SA isn't she?



#83 LenP

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 03:39 PM

she's on SA isn't she?

 

She (blackyogacat) posted a couple times back when we set up the meet up at our place last year, but she has not popped in lately.



#84 kmccabe

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Posted 17 May 2013 - 03:59 PM

k



#85 B.J. Porter

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Posted 18 May 2013 - 10:54 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 

Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.

 

Yeah, I *like* hanging out with my wife.  A lot.  I think that helps.



#86 B.J. Porter

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Posted 18 May 2013 - 10:56 PM

40 years this year.

 

The secret is to shut up..........

 

Respect? Well, she still lets me thinks I know everything......although not quite as much as before.  :wacko:

 

Fixed



#87 Ancient_Mariner

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 06:39 AM

48 years this August 6th.  I am still here and happy due to one simple piece of wisdom I discovered in life at a fairly early age.  You will NEVER hear it from a counseler.

 

1) ALL women are psychos.  There are NO exceptions....no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

2) There is no point in trading one psycho in for another.

3) Men are typically "fix-it" types.  We want to repair the problem with logic & persistence and then move on.

4) Women do not immediately appreciate logic nor want anything fixed when their button(s) are pressed.

5) So...logic dictates men have two choices in the heat of the battle.  Continue acting like a man and let the train run over you, or...do something else entirely.

6) The secret answer is do something else.  Leave town.  Go to your man cave.  Just go! 

7)There are ways to do this well.  As in..."I need to think about this honey.  I love you, but just need some time for thought".  Chance are, she'll be acting like nothing ever happened when you get back.  They're strange creatures.  One must adapt to survive.

 

That's all I got.  I never say Yes dear or anything that smacks of such cowardice.  She would not respect me if I did.  We never agree to disagree.  There is always a best choice or at least the lesser of two evils.  Sooner or later logic will prevail.  But ALL must remain calm & patient for logic to take its' course.  Staying mature isn't easy....



#88 Owen

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 02:06 PM

Tfunnyweddingpic.png

Things usually go well if everybody knows their roles.  Santa Monica Yacht club en route to Ritz Carlton, almost 14 years ago.



#89 Shibby

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 02:12 PM

my wife is a nasty bitch!!!



#90 B.J. Porter

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 02:31 PM



#91 us772

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 04:36 PM

WL - thanks for sharing. We had our 30th last year.

Hope you have many more happy years.



#92 mikewof

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Posted 19 May 2013 - 09:48 PM

48 years this August 6th.  I am still here and happy due to one simple piece of wisdom I discovered in life at a fairly early age.  You will NEVER hear it from a counseler.

 

1) ALL women are psychos.  There are NO exceptions....no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

2) There is no point in trading one psycho in for another.

3) Men are typically "fix-it" types.  We want to repair the problem with logic & persistence and then move on.

4) Women do not immediately appreciate logic nor want anything fixed when their button(s) are pressed.

5) So...logic dictates men have two choices in the heat of the battle.  Continue acting like a man and let the train run over you, or...do something else entirely.

6) The secret answer is do something else.  Leave town.  Go to your man cave.  Just go! 

7)There are ways to do this well.  As in..."I need to think about this honey.  I love you, but just need some time for thought".  Chance are, she'll be acting like nothing ever happened when you get back.  They're strange creatures.  One must adapt to survive.

 

That's all I got.  I never say Yes dear or anything that smacks of such cowardice.  She would not respect me if I did.  We never agree to disagree.  There is always a best choice or at least the lesser of two evils.  Sooner or later logic will prevail.  But ALL must remain calm & patient for logic to take its' course.  Staying mature isn't easy....

 

 

There are a lot of ways of handling marriage. I tend to follow Gouv's method outlined here. No "yes 'm" no snipping my balls,

 

One disagrement ... not all women are psycho, there are pefectly rational, generous women out there, but Cupid saves those for the guys who are self-centered psychopaths.



my wife is a nasty bitch!!!

 

Triple redudancy.



#93 On the Hard

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 02:20 PM

my wife is a nasty bitch!!!

 

 

I can't tell if you mean that in a good way, in which case "Awesome" wouldn't do it justice.  :D  :D  :D

 

But I suspect that you may not mean that in a good way, in which case, I'm sorry. But it might not hurt to think about how she became that way and what might help tone it down a little.



#94 President Eisenhowler

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 02:34 PM

Friends of mine (who are from a culture in which arranged marriages are the norm), say, "If you come from a culture where arranged marriages are the norm, then you have a completely different idea of what a marriage is supposed to be.  You know going in that your spouse isn't a perfect match, so you're not disappointed when you figure out five years down the road that you weren't perfect for each other.  Instead you figure that a marriage is simply raw material from which you can build whatever you want: if your spouse is not a decent, honorable, and likeable person you get out, but otherwise, is long as each of you recognizes that the other is a decent, honorable, and likeable person, then you can make it work.

I think there's a lesson for all of us in that, somewhere.   The trick is putting it into practice.



#95 President Eisenhowler

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 02:47 PM

Warning:  If you click on the "dogs in danger" link in kmccabe's signature, be prepared for your dog food and vet bill to go way up in the near future.  Jeebus, I'll take them *all*.

 

I lie belly-up

In the sunshine, happier than

You will ever be.

Dogs In Danger


tn_SSG08_023_101m.jpg
 

Fear is the foundation of most governments; but it is so sordid and brutal a passion, and renders men in whose breasts it predominates so stupid and miserable, that Americans will not be likely to approve of any political institution which is founded on it.



John Adams, Thoughts on Government, 1776



#96 Point Break

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 03:03 PM

Warning:  If you click on the "dogs in danger" link in kmccabe's signature, be prepared for your dog food and vet bill to go way up in the near future.  Jeebus, I'll take them *all*.
 

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.Dogs In Danger
tn_SSG08_023_101m.jpg
 
Fear is the foundation of most governments; but it is so sordid and brutal a passion, and renders men in whose breasts it predominates so stupid and miserable, that Americans will not be likely to approve of any political institution which is founded on it.
John Adams, Thoughts on Government, 1776

No way I'm clicking that..........I'm having enough trouble staying dogless right now. We have a lot of traveling planned and I wouldn't have the time a puppy needs/deserves.

#97 Ancient_Mariner

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 07:24 PM

48 years this August 6th.  I am still here and happy due to one simple piece of wisdom I discovered in life at a fairly early age.  You will NEVER hear it from a counseler.

 

1) ALL women are psychos.  There are NO exceptions....no matter how much you want to believe otherwise.

2) There is no point in trading one psycho in for another.

3) Men are typically "fix-it" types.  We want to repair the problem with logic & persistence and then move on.

4) Women do not immediately appreciate logic nor want anything fixed when their button(s) are pressed.

5) So...logic dictates men have two choices in the heat of the battle.  Continue acting like a man and let the train run over you, or...do something else entirely.

6) The secret answer is do something else.  Leave town.  Go to your man cave.  Just go! 

7)There are ways to do this well.  As in..."I need to think about this honey.  I love you, but just need some time for thought".  Chance are, she'll be acting like nothing ever happened when you get back.  They're strange creatures.  One must adapt to survive.

 

That's all I got.  I never say Yes dear or anything that smacks of such cowardice.  She would not respect me if I did.  We never agree to disagree.  There is always a best choice or at least the lesser of two evils.  Sooner or later logic will prevail.  But ALL must remain calm & patient for logic to take its' course.  Staying mature isn't easy....

 

 

There are a lot of ways of handling marriage. I tend to follow Gouv's method outlined here. No "yes 'm" no snipping my balls,

 

One disagrement ... not all women are psycho, there are pefectly rational, generous women out there, but Cupid saves those for the guys who are self-centered psychopaths.

See rule #1.  There are NO exceptions.  There are generous women out there, but none are rational.  What do the two have to do with each other?  After a few more decades, maybe you'll learn that there are NO exceptions....:-)  



#98 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 10:04 PM

Seriously though, my wife and my interests are similar and have a blast together, and converse on a wide range of subjects, and I'm delighted to hear her laugh.

When I hear someone say they don't talk with their wife much anymore, that gives me a brief pause...and I think I'm a lucky man....going on 42 years together.

 

Glad to see someone else post that. Mrs PB is my best bud and we have a huge number of shared interests. We surf together, we sail together, we work on the house and the boat together. Even the things we don't share an interest about I like hearing her discussion/passion. I'd rather be with her than anyone on the planet. Not that she doesn't irritate from time to time, but that's quite mutual. I enjoy taking with her. Sitting in the jacuzzi for a couple hours, having a good bottle of wine, eating good snacks and talking about......whatever.

 

Same here. We built a house together, cruised together, raced together (I've dumped her overboard on two broaches in 20 years, she still puts up with me).

There are a couple of guys I work with that are going through divorces. I watch what they are going through and and some very grateful for my wife! As an earlier poster mentioned. "She married better than I did"!



#99 On the Hard

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Posted 20 May 2013 - 10:09 PM

Same here. We built a house together, cruised together, raced together (I've dumped her overboard on two broaches in 20 years, she still puts up with me).

There are a couple of guys I work with that are going through divorces. I watch what they are going through and and some very grateful for my wife! As an earlier poster mentioned. "She married better than I did"!

A gentleman (and I think you definitely are for what you've posted) would have said that the other way around.



#100 puffyjman

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Posted 21 May 2013 - 02:49 AM

I really did love and care for mine, but she had an addiction that was secret for many years. When it was discovered I went through all the withdrawal and rehab and meetings with her and in the end it was to no avail. The addiction won out. I had no other recourse but to end it. I hate to admit it but I will probably have trust issues.




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