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never fuckin' mind


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#901 Spaceman

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Posted 29 May 2014 - 07:35 PM

The next thing you know ol' Jed's a millionaire



#902 captpiratedog

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Posted 30 May 2014 - 12:24 AM

Well, Blow Me Down! Ge Ge Ge Ge Ge Ge



#903 Snaggletooth

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 01:22 AM


The raines in Spaines stayes amnnley in the planes.



#904 Headntac

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 01:35 AM

awwwhhh......never f#@*^(g mind,its Sunday...... :huh:



#905 hobot

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Posted 01 June 2014 - 02:14 AM

I see you are a beer drinker, sir. Would you care for a martini?



#906 Snaggletooth

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 12:26 AM

Theire ist no Dana, onley Zuulle.....



#907 artie_pitt

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 02:23 PM

Magneto was mad,Titanium too.



#908 ZOMBIE

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 02:33 PM

Sewer rat MAY taste like pumpkin pie... but i wouldn't know cause i wouldn't eat the filthy muthafukker.



#909 millerbb77

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 03:07 PM

I have not yet begun to defile myself.



#910 House Salad

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 03:45 PM

Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.



#911 Gouvernail

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Posted 19 June 2014 - 06:52 AM

Why

#912 triciarob

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Posted 19 June 2014 - 01:07 PM

  Oooh, I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.



#913 Snaggletooth

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Posted 24 June 2014 - 11:20 PM

mie so hawney.....



#914 Bob Perry

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Posted 24 June 2014 - 11:49 PM

It's an electric brief case.



#915 MauiPunter

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 12:56 AM

Don't worry. They'll get out of the way. I learned that driving the Saratoga.



#916 SloopJonB

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 02:11 AM

Go ahead - say "What" one more time motherfucker!



#917 Varan

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 02:21 AM

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe... FZ

#918 Former MDR Vandal 1

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 04:10 AM

Some men are coming to kill us. We're going to kill them first.

Never leave your wingman.

No – because he always turns right at the bottom half of the hour.

Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

No, Henry! Those people don't put one piece of equipment on my lawn. If they have a problem with that, they can take it up with my husband. He'll be HOME... on FRIDAY!

It really ain't the place nor time to reel off rhyming diction, but yet we'll write a final rhyme while waiting crucifixion. For we bequeath a parting tip of sound advice for such men who come in transport ships to polish off the Dutchman. If you encounter any Boers, you really must not loot 'em, and if you wish to leave these shores, for pity's sake, don't shoot 'em. Let's toss a bumper down our throat before we pass to Heaven, and toast a trim-set petticoat we leave behind in Devon.




#919 SloopJonB

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 06:01 AM

You can't buy a rubber plant with a rubber cheque, deadbeat!



#920 the cat

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 11:43 AM

If I had a mind to rent pigs, I'd be mighty upset. A man that likes to rent pigs won't be stopped.



#921 Varan

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Posted 25 June 2014 - 01:20 PM

When attacked by clowns, go for the juggler.

#922 RumBulls

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Posted 26 June 2014 - 03:13 PM

Schnoochie Boochies!



#923 Snaggletooth

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 01:46 AM

ist this teh roade to Itta Beena?



#924 Headntac

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 06:21 AM

whadda am I doin  ?.... you know I get dizzy in high places.

...

You're dizzy in low places,Get up there !!

 

 

........ ^_^



#925 Kirwan

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 06:29 AM

Oh George, not the livestock.

#926 Varan

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 07:26 AM

Happy 4th of July...

#927 Snaggletooth

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 08:18 PM

They loved hime up an turnde hime into horney toade.



#928 pbd

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Posted 05 July 2014 - 09:03 PM

Do not seeeeek the treasure



#929 Snaggletooth

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Posted 06 July 2014 - 01:29 AM

Ime am Markey Marke and toure alle the funkey bunche!



#930 3rdbase

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Posted 06 July 2014 - 01:37 AM

If I've told you once, I've told you  ten billion times,  DON"T EXAGERATE!



#931 Snaggletooth

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Posted 06 July 2014 - 01:58 AM

blacke cocke downe?



#932 Snaggletooth

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 12:37 AM

The collore garde is collored!



#933 Flatbag

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 02:51 AM

Slippery little sucker



#934 3rdbase

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 05:01 AM

The strongest muscle in my body is my tongue.  With my tongue, I can lift a woman one, sometimes TWO feet off the bed. 



#935 artie_pitt

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 12:11 PM

Oh George, not the livestock.

lol



#936 pbd

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 04:35 PM

Friend, some of your folding money has come unstowed.



#937 10thTonner

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 05:19 PM

I can ski that line in no turns.  



#938 Spaceman

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 08:19 PM

So I've got that going for me...which is nice



#939 Snaggletooth

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 01:18 AM

Gette me, ahhh, Longue Beeche4-5620 plesae....



#940 Headntac

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 07:39 AM

Just imagine if he loses from here......



#941 Aloha 27

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 09:28 AM

It looks just like a Telefunken U47



#942 FeenstraP

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 12:08 PM

I want everything.

Would that include a bullet from this gun?



#943 jaybird1111

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 01:09 PM

Yeah, they like rubber, too... shrink tubing... with a hair dryer



#944 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 03:20 PM

Are you the clown?

No, I'm Mary fuckin' Poppins.



#945 Cleveland Steamer

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 03:26 PM

If you ever ask me that question again Daniel, you will not wake up the following morning.



#946 House Salad

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 07:30 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, l'm sorry to drag you from your desserts. There are just one or two little things I feel I should say, as best man. This is only the second time l've been a best man. I hope I did OK that time. The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they're not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But l'm assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech. The fact that he'd slept with her mother came as a surprise, but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage. Anyway, enough of that. My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can. So, back to Angus and those sheep.



#947 Headntac

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 10:04 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, l'm sorry to drag you from your desserts. There are just one or two little things I feel I should say, as best man. This is only the second time l've been a best man. I hope I did OK that time. The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they're not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But l'm assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech. The fact that he'd slept with her mother came as a surprise, but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage. Anyway, enough of that. My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can. So, back to Angus and those sheep.

:D :D :D



#948 Snaggletooth

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Posted 10 July 2014 - 11:09 PM

Thast oune badde hatte Harrey.



#949 pbd

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Posted 11 July 2014 - 03:32 PM

Zed's dead baby.  Zed's dead.



#950 Bob Perry

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Posted 11 July 2014 - 04:32 PM

This ain't no party

This  ain't no disco

This ain't no foolin' around.



#951 House Salad

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Posted 11 July 2014 - 06:16 PM

If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling.



#952 Cleveland Steamer

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 08:07 PM

Jane, you ignorant slut



#953 captpiratedog

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Posted 21 July 2014 - 01:51 PM

 tharrrrr... once was a pirate named bates..who used to do the rumble on skates...he fell on his cutlass and found himself nut less...and practically useless on dates...



#954 thereefgeek

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Posted 23 July 2014 - 12:29 PM

Where's my money, BITCH?!?!?



#955 Flatbag

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Posted 23 July 2014 - 11:02 PM

If I am curt with you it is because time is of the essence, so pretty please, with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.



#956 thereefgeek

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Posted 24 July 2014 - 11:59 AM

You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude,

but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. 

Most of 'em just cheat on you.



#957 MauiPunter

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Posted 24 July 2014 - 02:28 PM

Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.



#958 Gouvernail

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Posted 24 July 2014 - 02:30 PM

Deeper! Unggh! Oooh! Aaahhh! Mmmm! Yes! Yes!

#959 Flatbag

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Posted 25 July 2014 - 01:20 AM

the dude abides



#960 Snaggletooth

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Posted 25 July 2014 - 03:31 AM

wacke up numbere 37



#961 thereefgeek

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Posted 26 July 2014 - 01:43 PM

Christ Almighty, it's like I'm sittin' here playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a-bitches.



#962 Thistle Drizzle

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Posted 26 July 2014 - 05:46 PM

I never fucked a 10, but I fucked 5, 2's. 



#963 SloopJonB

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Posted 26 July 2014 - 05:51 PM

We must all compromise, Lieutenant.

 

Bullshit! - get the hell out of here.






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