You would not be surprised to see your shoes come out of your mouth.
never fuckin' mind
Posted 27 September 2013 - 02:30 AM
Posted 30 September 2013 - 12:58 PM
Get a message off to Pearl. "Have taken two torpedoes." Fill in our position. "Extent of damage unknown. Will advise."
And break radio silence, sir?
Burke, don't you think the Japanese know by now where we are?
Posted 30 September 2013 - 04:11 PM
Report it to Headquarters damn it.
How Sir? We haven't got a telephone Sir.
There's a gas station about a mile down the road, they must have a phone.
Posted 01 October 2013 - 03:24 AM
Posted 01 October 2013 - 08:39 PM
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!
Posted 10 October 2013 - 11:45 AM
Well, it's a well run campaign, with midget and broom and what-not.
Posted 10 October 2013 - 08:56 PM
(Peter O'Toole walks into the woman's bathroom)
"Hey, this is for ladies only!"
"So is this, madam, but occasionally I have to run a little water through it."
Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:22 PM
Funny thing about marble, it's always precisely 11 degrees cooler than the surrounding atmosphere.
Posted 25 October 2013 - 03:48 AM
Posted 26 October 2013 - 01:16 AM
Posted 26 October 2013 - 02:22 AM
They haven't spotted us! They're all snoring in their bunks!
Or you know what? They're drinking in the bar!
Celebrating our sinking! Not yet, my friends. Not yet!
Posted 27 October 2013 - 12:04 AM
Somewhere on this planet, a woman is giving birth, every 10 seconds.
She must be found, and stopped.
Posted 27 October 2013 - 01:34 AM
she haite me.......licke ortheres
Posted 04 November 2013 - 01:22 AM
"I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."
Posted 07 November 2013 - 09:58 PM
Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:12 AM
Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Posted 20 November 2013 - 02:30 AM
An you thick the dingusse is worthe a millilon, huhh?
Posted 25 November 2013 - 03:11 AM
"I sit with my back to the wall, watch the entrance. You never know who's gonna walk in. Somebody blown off course. This is hurricane country."
Posted 26 November 2013 - 07:43 AM
Posted 26 November 2013 - 05:02 PM
The Shadow do
Posted 02 December 2013 - 05:35 AM
So Monty....stop it with the dinosaurs,..................design something fast...
Posted 05 December 2013 - 04:54 PM
Posted 05 December 2013 - 06:37 PM
It was a combination health food store and massage parlour - natural foods and unnatural acts.
Posted 06 December 2013 - 04:26 AM
Well son... a funny thing about regret is - its better to regret something you have done - then to regret something you havent done. and by the way - if you see your mom this weekend.....
Posted 06 December 2013 - 10:41 AM
I want to order, uh, a pizza to go and no anchovies.
No anchovies? You've got the wrong number. I spell my name "Danger" !!
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