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never fuckin' mind


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#701 Tax Man

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 02:33 PM

You would not be surprised to see your shoes come out of your mouth.



#702 Snaggletooth

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 09:29 PM

If you plante viise, you goona harveast menne



#703 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 02:30 AM

Is that like talking backwards when you can't straight talk cuz you got mixed all words IP?

#704 House Salad

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 03:12 PM

Who does No.2 work for?

#705 Kevlar Edge

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 03:21 PM

Number 1

#706 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 12:58 PM

Get a message off to Pearl. "Have taken two torpedoes." Fill in our position. "Extent of damage unknown. Will advise."

 

And break radio silence, sir?

 

Burke, don't you think the Japanese know by now where we are?



#707 daffyd

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 04:11 PM

Colonel Sir, if we do see something, what do we do?

Report it to Headquarters damn it.

How Sir? We haven't got a telephone Sir.

There's a gas station about a mile down the road, they must have a phone.

#708 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 03:24 AM

He knew then that the friendship they had shared since childhood was over, destroyed by the love of a woman!

#709 House Salad

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 08:39 PM

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

#710 Willin'

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 10:21 PM

It was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

#711 lydia

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 02:58 AM

Pretty much ever line of this
http://aso.gov.au/ti...paradise/clip1/

#712 Snaggletooth

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 06:37 AM

reallio, trullio, littelle pette draggoin.



#713 IStream

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 11:45 AM

Well, it's a well run campaign, with midget and broom and what-not.



#714 daffyd

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 03:13 PM

I like my cigar too, but I take it out sometimes

#715 House Salad

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 06:50 PM

"Is it the frank or the beans?"

#716 Snaggletooth

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 07:11 PM

Thast a bigg twinkey



#717 Kirwan

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 08:56 PM

(Peter O'Toole walks into the woman's bathroom)

 

"Hey, this is for ladies only!"

(Zzzzzzip)

"So is this, madam, but occasionally I have to run a little water through it."



#718 IStream

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:22 PM

Funny thing about marble, it's always precisely 11 degrees cooler than the surrounding atmosphere.



#719 INFIDEL

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Posted 24 October 2013 - 08:40 PM

"Nah, you're talking to my guy all wrong...."



#720 jimx

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 03:05 AM

Dude we just cock-blocked McLovin



#721 ALittleLoose

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 03:48 AM

I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro.

#722 ALittleLoose

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Posted 25 October 2013 - 03:53 AM

I'm shaking it boss, still shakin it.

#723 Training Wheels

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 01:16 AM

If you don't use your head, you might as well have an ass on both ends!

#724 Dorado

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 02:22 AM

They haven't spotted us! They're all snoring in their bunks!

 

Or you know what? They're drinking in the bar!

 

Celebrating our sinking! Not yet, my friends. Not yet!



#725 atoyot

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 03:12 AM

There's no crying in baseball!!

#726 Snaggletooth

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Posted 26 October 2013 - 10:48 PM

I cane eate fifftey egges.



#727 Dorado

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 12:04 AM

Somewhere on this planet, a woman is giving birth, every 10 seconds.

 

 

She must be found, and stopped.



#728 Snaggletooth

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 01:34 AM

she haite me.......licke ortheres

 

 

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2991145/she_hate_me_like_others/



#729 Snaggletooth

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 02:39 AM

No farther, the moone is reaching foure me



#730 Snaggletooth

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Posted 28 October 2013 - 10:07 PM

That gravitey, ist a killere...



#731 Snaggletooth

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 01:22 AM

"I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."



#732 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 01:49 AM

 

hehehe



#733 10thTonner

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Posted 05 November 2013 - 07:55 PM

I can ski that line in no turns! 



#734 Drewbius

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Posted 07 November 2013 - 09:47 PM

It's looking at me, Ray.



#735 House Salad

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Posted 07 November 2013 - 09:58 PM

I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye.

#736 fast n high

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Posted 08 November 2013 - 06:17 PM

Shakin' the tree, boss

 

 

 

 



#737 Bob Perry

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Posted 09 November 2013 - 05:40 PM

Scuse me. May I go to the bathroom?

 

 

 

 

Thank you.



#738 DRIFTW00D

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Posted 11 November 2013 - 02:47 AM

Captians orders

#739 Flatbag

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Posted 11 November 2013 - 02:54 AM

Son of bitch, shit!



#740 SloopJonB

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Posted 11 November 2013 - 03:12 AM

Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.



#741 Snaggletooth

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Posted 20 November 2013 - 02:30 AM

An you thick the dingusse is worthe a millilon, huhh?



#742 Snaggletooth

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Posted 25 November 2013 - 03:11 AM

"I sit with my back to the wall, watch the entrance. You never know who's gonna walk in.  Somebody blown off course.  This is hurricane country."



#743 shaggybaxter

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 07:30 AM

We really should put in that reef...

#744 shaggybaxter

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 07:43 AM

Give it up old man, you can't fight evolution, I was built for speed!

#745 daffyd

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 05:02 PM

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

The Shadow do

#746 House Salad

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Posted 26 November 2013 - 07:14 PM

The plumage don't enter into it!

#747 sockeye

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Posted 02 December 2013 - 05:30 AM

The Dude abides.

#748 Headntac

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Posted 02 December 2013 - 05:35 AM

So Monty....stop it with the dinosaurs,..................design something fast...



#749 twiggsmcgee

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    Increasing my heart rate.

Posted 02 December 2013 - 06:03 AM

So long, gay boys.

#750 House Salad

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Posted 05 December 2013 - 04:54 PM

Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you, if you like.

#751 SloopJonB

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Posted 05 December 2013 - 06:37 PM

It was a combination health food store and massage parlour - natural foods and unnatural acts.



#752 Code 2

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Posted 06 December 2013 - 04:26 AM

Well son... a funny thing about regret is - its better to regret something you have done - then to regret something you havent done.  and by the way - if you see your mom this weekend.....



#753 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 06 December 2013 - 07:36 AM

I want to order, uh, a pizza to go and no anchovies.


#754 Steam Flyer

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Posted 06 December 2013 - 10:41 AM

I want to order, uh, a pizza to go and no anchovies.

 

 

No anchovies? You've got the wrong number. I spell my name "Danger" !!

 

- - - - - -



#755 Snaggletooth

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Posted 28 December 2013 - 06:33 AM

affgannestan bananestan

#756 Mid

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Posted 28 December 2013 - 06:43 AM

I could have won

if

I had an enermy bigger than my apathy



#757 F-18 5150

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Posted 28 December 2013 - 10:55 PM

someone with your qualifications... would have no trouble finding a top flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.



#758 sailm8

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Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:13 PM

Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.



#759 Snaggletooth

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Posted 29 December 2013 - 05:17 PM

Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.

MK wase greate!!



#760 sailm8

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Posted 29 December 2013 - 06:26 PM

Woof



#761 VALIS

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Posted 30 December 2013 - 12:07 AM

What knockers!



#762 Snaggletooth

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Posted 30 December 2013 - 12:25 AM

why zacke yiew dcotore



#763 Ishmael

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Posted 30 December 2013 - 12:43 AM

I thought the afterplay was a little rough.



#764 Ishmael

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Posted 30 December 2013 - 12:50 AM

He's not the prawn of my loins!



#765 Snaggletooth

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 05:38 PM

Atmanand, At-man-nand, Atmanand



#766 Bob Perry

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 05:39 PM

Akabah!



#767 Snaggletooth

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 04:21 AM

Tallahassee gotte hise twinkey



#768 MauiPunter

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 05:41 AM

we're gonna need a bigger boat.



#769 monsoon

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 02:11 PM

Always with the negative waves, Moriarity.



#770 Winever

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 02:32 PM

...nothing is written.



#771 Winever

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 02:33 PM

...name a shrub after me, something prickly and difficult to eradicate.



#772 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 05:40 PM

String him up!

Anyone got any string?

 

Lynch him!

Anyybody got any lynch?



#773 Brassman

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Posted 24 January 2014 - 08:03 PM

I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.



#774 pbd

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 01:15 AM

the Negros took our dates

#775 F-18 5150

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 01:20 AM


You gonna finish your cornbread?



#776 DRIFTW00D

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 11:53 AM


Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.


Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they'd leave me alone.

#777 Waikikamukau

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 01:09 PM

When creating an adversary always consider how far they are willing to go (legally and illegally). The one that is willing to go the furthest is the one that loses least (in their mind) and probably also the one that gains far more satisfaction and personal reward from retribution. When it becomes really personal both ultimately lose far greater than originally envisioned.



#778 Willin'

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 04:58 PM

"Scuse me while I whip dis out!



#779 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 25 January 2014 - 09:02 PM

Offer not good after curfew in sectors R or N



#780 Snaggletooth

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 01:43 AM

Gette me Loungue Beache foure, five sixe to oh



#781 sockeye

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 06:29 AM

"Be vewwy vewwy qwiet. We'ew hunting wabbits.

#782 olaf hart

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 08:35 AM

He is so old he stopped buying green bananas.

#783 bruno

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 03:44 PM

Always with the negative waves, Moriarity.


Kellies heros

#784 The Advocate

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 07:38 AM

Whose shout is it?



#785 knucklehead

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 01:40 PM

Ying tong yiddle i po.



#786 judge

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 05:48 PM

I paid my two bits to see the high divin' act, and I' a gunna see the high divin' act!

Gryptight, methinks this chap is a bit of a craller.

Tht's not a knife; this a knife.

#787 NewDogBalls

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 07:46 PM

Coleman, I've had the most absurd nightmare.

 

I was poor and no one liked me.

 

I lost my job, I lost my house.

 

Penelope hated me.

 

And it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.



#788 Mr Zog

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 05:07 PM

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.



#789 squiby

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 03:57 AM

Just the tip.
Just for a second.
Just to see how it feels.

#790 seabreeze97

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Posted 08 February 2014 - 03:35 AM

Iddin that a Daisy.



#791 Bump-n-Grind

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Posted 08 March 2014 - 05:22 AM

Sure! Who doesn't like tits?



#792 Bob Perry

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Posted 09 March 2014 - 02:59 PM

Adjusting your breasts.



#793 daffyd

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Posted 09 March 2014 - 04:07 PM

"and get me a nurse in here who can work around an operating table without her tits getting in the way"



#794 Snaggletooth

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 12:36 AM

Tacke that you muttatede sonne of biiche!



#795 Wet Spreaders

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 01:01 AM

Angus pees his kilt all the time!



#796 F-18 5150

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 01:16 AM

First thing I'm going do when I get home is Punch your momma right in the mouth.



#797 Headntac

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 01:18 AM

Sure you do...

 

 

.you just put  it in your mouth.. :ph34r:



#798 Wet Spreaders

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 01:03 PM

Too bad she won't live, but then again, who does?

#799 Bob Perry

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 03:42 PM

Men with screw drivers, adjusting things.



#800 Boats13

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Posted 13 March 2014 - 03:47 PM

Can't stop the signal, Mal...






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