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Going to Home Depot for a Screw

Hardware at the store

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#1 Rum Runner

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 07:53 PM

The story says it all:

 

 

What's the world coming to when you can't go to Home Depot for a screw?

Emily Craig, 20, and Shaun Bowden, 31, were arrested Wednesday after allegedly having sex inside a display shed at a Home Depot store in North Charleston, S.C. according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Someone called the cops at about 8:38 a.m., stating they saw the couple walk into the outdoor shed, shut the door and stay there.

Cops entered the shed and found Craig "partially clothed" and Bowden shirtless with "his pants down near his knees" and "penis … exposed," according to the report.

The report also states that "upon questioning, it became apparent that they were engaged in sexual intercourse within the shed," because evidently their various states of undress didn't make it apparent enough.

Craig was charged with disorderly conduct and being a nuisance, while Bowden was charged with disorderly conduct, being a nuisance, and indecent exposure.

After learning that Home Depot's former slogan -- "You Can Do It, We Can Help" -- is apparently a lie, the couple was booked into the Charleston County Detention Center, WCSC reported.

These two may have felt like tools, but at least they didn't cause the kind of scene created by other alleged public endeavors.

In June, two people allegedly having sex at a Pennsylvania park wereapproached by 25 cops on bikes and arrested.

In October, police say a Florida couple caught having sex on top of a table at a restaurant not only refused to stop, but also refused to pay their $101 tab.



#2 Cement_Shoes

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 08:02 PM

they must have been doing it wrong.  do you have any idea how hard it is to locate the right screw at Home Depot?



#3 oldgoatroper

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 08:34 PM

Somebody actually called the cops? What's wrong with just banging on the door and yelling "Cut that out!"

 

Or even just leaving them be for a few moments?



#4 MR.CLEAN

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 08:46 PM

Seriously, what fucking miserable piece of shit would take it upon themselves to make that call?  It's not like they left the door open.



#5 Chris in Santa Cruz, CA

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 05:45 AM

Thats fucked up. Beats gett7hg fucked in the ass by a day laborer.

Reminds me of a woman who called the sheriff and had a local homeless guy arrested for fucking her horse out in her field. Broad daylight. Wtf. I mean face it, a horse that doesnt want to get fucked by a human is not going to get fucked by a human and any man who can get hard for a horse in the middle of the day and in the middle of a field and can fucking reach the horse is one motivated and resourceful sob and deserves the horse. The owner should have grabbed her video device shared that shit with us. Selfish cunt.

#6 JBSF

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 11:16 AM

50shadesofgray.png

 

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.



#7 atoyot

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 11:55 AM

Damn You, jb. You just threw me into a laughing-coughing fit. The woman just shook her head at it.

Priceless.

#8 Peragrin

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 05:55 PM

someone saw them walk into a shed and called the cops instead of telling the store manager that people are in a shed.

 

figure 5-10 minutes before the first call to the cops, maybe 10-15 for response. 

 

when having sex in public i guess foreplay should be shortened.  



#9 Gouvernail

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 09:03 PM

A whole month and I still have nothing worthwhile to add to this thread

#10 No.6

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 09:10 PM

Just like any other day for you eh Gouv?



#11 Point Break

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 09:31 PM

Aside from the obvious humor........I would never shop for fasteners at HD unless I was desperate. Woodcraft or Rockler are pretty good stores for hardware, and I do a lot of shopping ahead of time at some of the other websites that come up on a Google search. Much better selection and quality.



#12 TPG

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 09:54 PM

Amateurs.



#13 R Booth

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 11:31 PM

Amateurs.

 

 

No shit---surprised they didn't know that they could get screwed just as easily next door at In 'n Out.....



#14 atefooterz

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Posted 06 October 2013 - 11:44 PM

Why didn`t the Cops just shoot them ? Stops repeat offending and cheaper than Court etc.



#15 miscut jib

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 01:57 AM

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.



#16 R Booth

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 02:16 AM

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.

 

 

Yes, And 98% of those are women....



#17 TPG

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 02:30 AM

Amateurs.

 

 

No shit---surprised they didn't know that they could get screwed just as easily next door at In 'n Out.....

 

:lol:



#18 Gouvernail

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 02:41 AM

I know what my response would be if I stumbled across them.

Either turn silently and leave so as not to interrupt

Or

"Oops! Sorry! "

I have to wonder what kind of dirt ball feels it is OK to interrupt that which God told Adam and Eve to do???

#19 R Booth

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 02:49 AM

Well Gouv, it kinda depends on how hot the chick was. But if she was fugly, then it'd be perfectly acceptable for you to ask to see their marriage license....



#20 Salted

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 03:05 AM

Should have grabbed padlock from the fastenings isle and locked them in!



#21 Gouvernail

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 03:37 AM

You mean Screw Island???

#22 Throatwarbler-Mangrove

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 03:55 AM

I know what my response would be if I stumbled across them.

Either turn silently and leave so as not to interrupt

Or

"Oops! Sorry! "

 

Or offer helpful critique on style.

 

Or point and laugh.

 

Or give play-by-play commentary..

 

Or run away with their clothes.

 

Or.make a phone video and post it on Youtube.

 

Or try to break their concentration by making strange noises and gestures.

 

Or start singing show tunes, off-key.

 

Or preach hellfire and damnation at the sinners until they repent.

 

Or ask if you can join them.

 

Or...



#23 R Booth

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 03:56 AM

I know what my response would be if I stumbled across them.

Either turn silently and leave so as not to interrupt

Or

"Oops! Sorry! "

 

Or offer helpful critique on style.

 

Or point and laugh.

 

Or give play-by-play commentary..

 

Or run away with their clothes.

 

Or.make a phone video and post it on Youtube.

 

Or try to break their concentration by making strange noises and gestures.

 

Or start singing show tunes, off-key.

 

Or preach hellfire and damnation at the sinners until they repent.

 

Or ask if you can join them.

 

Or...

 

 

..just go to fuking Lowe's instead....



#24 silent bob

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 06:05 AM

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.

 

 

Yes, And 98% of those are women....

 

 

Why do women fake Orgasms?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because they think men care!



#25 JBSF

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 08:13 AM

This thread needs song lyrics (modified for the story of course):

 

(chorus)

I used to work in Charleston, at a Home Depot store

I used to work in Charleston, I don't work there anymore......

 

(verse 1)

A lady came in for a hammer

A hammer from the Home depot store

A Hammer she wanted.....

"Nailed" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 2)

A lady came in for a screen door

A screen door from the Home depot store

A screen door she wanted.....

"Banged" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 3)

A lady came in for a front door

A front door from the Home depot store

A front door she wanted.....

"back doored" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 4)

A lady came in for some lumber

some lumber from the Home depot store

some lumber she wanted.....

My "wood" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 5)

A lady came in for a fence post

A fence post from the Home depot store

A fence post she wanted.....

My "pole" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 6)

A lady came in for a sunshade

A sunshade from the Home depot store

A sunshade she wanted.....

My "pup tent" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.



#26 JBSF

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 08:27 AM

(verse 7)

A lady came in for a carpet

A carpet from the Home Depot store

A carpet she wanted.....

"Laid" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 8)

A lady came in for some wood glue

some wood glue from the Home Depot store

some wood glue she wanted.....

"Bukkake" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

("wood glue"=bukkake.... I don't care who you are, that's some funny shit!)

 

(verse 9)

A lady came in for a transmission

a transmission from the Home Depot store

A tranny she wanted.....

"Bull Gaytor" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 10)

A lady came in for a screw

A screw from the Home Depot store

A screw she wanted.....

"Screwed" she got

Ohhhhhh.... She shops there all the time :lol:



#27 d'ranger

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 12:29 PM

Too bad this happened at Home Depot, if the other big box it could have been

 

couple gets it on the down Lowe. 



#28 JBSF

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 04:28 PM

Too bad this happened at Home Depot, if the other big box it could have been

 

couple gets it on the down Lowe. 

 

BAZINGA!



#29 chinabald

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 07:33 PM

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.

The quickie is harder to accomplish when you are doing it at the Big Box



#30 Life Buoy 15

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 12:50 AM

(verse 7)

A lady came in for a carpet

A carpet from the Home Depot store

A carpet she wanted.....

"Laid" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 8)

A lady came in for some wood glue

some wood glue from the Home Depot store

some wood glue she wanted.....

"Bukkake" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

("wood glue"=bukkake.... I don't care who you are, that's some funny shit!)

 

(verse 9)

A lady came in for a transmission

a transmission from the Home Depot store

A tranny she wanted.....

"Bull Gaytor" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

(verse 10)

A lady came in for a screw

A screw from the Home Depot store

A screw she wanted.....

"Screwed" she got

Ohhhhhh.... She shops there all the time :lol:

The Barefoot Man! Sensational JB!



#31 miscut jib

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 12:59 AM

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.

The quickie is harder to accomplish when you are doing it at the Big Box

 

Guess everyone drives big ass trucks there so they don't get lost in the huge aisles?



#32 TPG

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 02:04 AM

 

The concept of a quickie is lost on some people.

The quickie is harder to accomplish when you are doing it at the Big Box

 

Guess everyone drives big ass trucks there so they don't get lost in the huge aisles?

 

Broomstick in a home depot aisle?



#33 Life Buoy 15

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 05:40 AM

Guess he thought it was tool time.

#34 JBSF

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 05:43 AM

(verse 9)

A lady came in for a transmission

a transmission from the Home Depot store

A tranny she wanted.....

"Bull Gaytor" she got

Ohhhhhh.... she doesn't shop there anymore.

 

The Barefoot Man! Sensational JB!

 

Thanks - we used to sing them in the Squadron bar all the time....  The clipped one above is my favorite.  :lol:



#35 GybeSetŪ

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Posted 08 October 2013 - 09:22 PM

.

why are you guys gaytor FANBOYS 

 

get a life



#36 Life Buoy 15

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 02:41 AM

Did we find out if he actually nailed her?



#37 TornadoCAN99

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 07:46 PM

Did they end up buying the shed after the test drive?






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