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Best AC34 Limerick


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#1 like

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 10:35 PM

To help pass the time while we all go a bit nuts with impatience for the start of actual racing, how about exercising your literary powers on coming up with the best limerick for AC 34?

Here's my first effort:

The bastards are making us wait
For the start of the race which we hate
We speculate madly
About things we know badly
Going ape-shit over stuff like king-post gate

#2 RGH

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 10:39 PM

LOVE IT



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Posted 01 September 2013 - 10:54 PM

another in a similar vein...

Why the fuck must we all sit and wait
for the outcome of the (yawn) King Post gate?
When it's obvious to all
Someones taking a fall
For the Coutts and the Ellisons we hate!

(Yeah "Hate" is a bit too strong but it had to rhyme :))

#4 ~Stingray~

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:01 PM

Brilliant! This could get good.

#5 bezzers

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:03 PM

There was small crew from EnZed
Who sailed on a black rocket sled
When they went down the mine
They were perfectly fine
Coz they had volume up front and not lead.

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:05 PM

There was small crew from EnZed
Who sailed on a black rocket sled
When they went down the mine
They were perfectly fine
Coz they had volume up front and not lead.

Nice!!!

#7 l-foraster

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:06 PM

There once was a sailor called Coutts
Who some thought a bit big for his boots
His enemies said
He built parts filled with lead
And he chose the ones that best suits

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:21 PM

Jimmy was spitting for days
"It's unfair" he said, thinking of ways
To get back at the prick
Who dreamed up the trick
Of "fixing" the boats winning ways!

#9 l-foraster

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:57 PM

Well - A Builder reporting to Turner
Could best be described as a learner
He made a few boobs
But with lead insert tubes
He discovered a nice little earner

#10 waterboy42

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:34 AM

While Oracles can be misguided,
And their flip floppy visions derided,
But it's horribly quick by some soothsayers trick
The problem is staying sunny sided...

#11 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 01:12 AM

For the crew of the ship Luna Rossa
The skipper was just a poor tosser
He hadn't a watch
So they gave him a swatch
That Someone had robbed from a dosser

#12 Te Kooti

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:28 AM

What Julian wanted the most,  

 

Was a look at a monster king-post  

 

So she went to see Larry,

 

 And said “how much do you carry?”  

 

But was shocked when he said it’s now toast!



#13 DC_US55

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:37 AM

Vincenzo turned out to be smart,
Artemis was wrong from the start,
New Zealand learned to fly,
Max Sirena did cry,
Oracle was sunk by one part.

#14 sunseeker

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:44 AM

There once was a boy from Nantucket

Who saw a sheep but wouldn't fuck it

That's something only a Kiwi must do

Because pussy won't even take their money to screw

#15 like

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:48 AM

Of bastards the AC has many
From Ernesto to Michael and Denny
But the worst of them all
Is the one with the gall
To add lead shot to be better than any!

#16 Landlockedlubber

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:52 AM

There was a man named Ellisan
Who thought he could sail better than Ernie can
In lead mine SBs he tried and failed
Until in a monster Tri he sailed.

He cloned CNEV into Artimis
To ensure all callenges would be a piece of piss
As he expects only wins, not defeats
By hook or by crook or even cheats

Now his brand looks shopsoiled
And plans for the defence have been foiled
He maintains support through Anarchist Stingray
Whose loyalty will be tested by the IJ

If they don't start racing real quick
I'll be writing another fn Limerick

#17 snaerk

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 06:00 AM

Coutts woz a tallented saylyer
With an intellecked big az Ostraylya
But his confident sent
sov direckshun haz ment
That hiz dreamz hav now arked towardz failyer.

Lyk hiz co-eekwalz,  Cayard iz apt
To devize and contrive to hav tapt
From a billionairez stash
the most utmost of cash
Notwithstanding, there campane unwrapt.

From a land with a shape lyk a boote
Came a teem with no shortadje of loote
But thay ran out of timing
(Az Ive run owt of ryming)
In fackt timing woz not there strong soote.

Wun thing thats kwite sertin with Dalts
in spyt of his manifest faults
( - Hiz opponents hav winst
Coz hiz werds are not minst - )
BUT: hiz nuts shore are dun up with bolts.
 



#18 like

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 06:14 AM

Coutts woz a tallented saylyer
With an intellecked big az Ostraylya
But his confident sent
sov direckshun haz ment
That hiz dreamz hav now arked towardz failyer.

Lyk hiz co-eekwalz,  Cayard iz apt
To devize and contrive to hav tapt
From a billionairez stash
the most utmost of cash
Notwithstanding, there campane unwrapt.

From a land with a shape lyk a boote
Came a teem with no shortadje of loote
But thay ran out of timing
(Az Ive run owt of ryming)
In fackt timing woz not there strong soote.

Wun thing thats kwite sertin with Dalts
in spyt of his manifest faults
( - Hiz opponents hav winst
Coz hiz werds are not minst - )
BUT: hiz nuts shore are dun up with bolts.

I am not worthy - you are the Yoda of Limericking!

#19 Savoyard

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 06:29 AM

Snaerks spelling would not suit the post

But his logic is better than most

His quips at StingRay

Bring a shine to the day

and his followers form quite a host



#20 Savoyard

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 06:42 AM

A Round the world Skipper called Dalts

might possibly have some small faults

he might sometimes talk "blue"

But he grinds with his crew

and his team from NZ he exalts.

 

He was offered a "Sir" but said NO,

Down that primrose path he'd not go

a kiwi to the core

he would even the score

With "Sir Russ" who's team started with "O"



#21 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 07:06 AM

There once was a lawyer called SAENZ
Who fancied A job with ETNZ
When He protested their speeding
They said how our hearts bleeding
But regret that our contract now ENDZ

#22 brian weslake

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:10 AM

Russell, the boss of Team Oracle

Whose boat was as slow as a coracle

Observing the Kiwis

Gybing fast in the seabreeze

Said “to win, we’ll need a moracle”



#23 Nutta

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:14 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oracle Racing
Is in the poo

#24 Warthog

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:24 AM

Nuts wins with this one - Solid Gold mate!

#25 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:30 AM

So the Cup was in Straits quite dire
It could never get put of the mire
From one year to the next
'twas a struggle at best
And the teams ended up on the pyre

The smart ones amongst us said hey
What we need is a media fray
Gladitorial sports
Of the watery sort
And we'll piss on those that say nay

But first we need some controls
We're in charge so let's have some polls
And with all the votes in
We'll just do our own thing
And to hell with all those arseholes

An event not for Stone Ager man
We'll create completely new fans
With a Facebook account
He needs no amount
Of knowledge of Catamarans

For that is what we will race
The C- Class is setting the pace
Our old lead pig slugs
Resemble more tugs
In the twenty first centuries face

Rules drafted - please now a drum roll
We've named the thing a protocol
It contains all the rules
But only some tools
Can read them without alcohol

Now the boats can stand up on their foils
Reaching speeds at which water it boils
With this limit in place
The length of the race
Means sailors continue their toils.

Another invention - the wing
Is quite a spectacular thing
With the leading edge twisted
The boat is not listed
And oh how the foils they sing

But to stop at the end of the day
Means a crane and a dock on the bay
Where forty shore crew they sit
Which costs quite a bit
And those costs are quite hard to defray.

And the sponsors don't like it a bit
That their money is spent on this shit
Except sailors have pockets
Where some of the profits
Get diverted and spent on the flit

So the sponsors no longer come
To part with spectacular sums
For the right to declare
That they have been there
When the smart take their money and run.

For a sailors preference is rum
And not to live under the thumb
But for this he needs you
And me it is true
To pay - oh it's lucky for some

But it seems those days have now passed
Where the money it flowed - and quite fast
You could fill up your boots
With all of the loot
And a fortune was quickly amassed

Best beware cos Karmas a bitch
Not everything runs with no hitch
when fiddling the rules
there are some home truths
And all it takes is one snitch

#26 aucklander

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:33 AM

While Frisco for some may be foggy

the setting sure pleased that gent hoggie.

Still Stinger shouts 'LARK'

and we all curse that Snaerk

it's Te Kooti who drives us most potty



#27 DayTripper

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:40 AM

There was small crew from EnZed
Who sailed on a black rocket sled
When they went down the mine
They were perfectly fine
Coz they had volume up front and not lead.

Actually laughed out loud at that one....



#28 brian weslake

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:11 AM

King Larry thought adoration

An appropriate response from the nation

For winning the chalice

From the Swiss prince of malice

But instead we want his abdication

 

 

 

 

A public that should be adoring

Thought the Louis Vuitton Cup was quite boring

Despite the speed and the foiling

All the grinding and toiling

If the AC’s the same, I’ll be snoring



#29 ianz

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:23 AM

Coutts woz a tallented saylyer
With an intellecked big az Ostraylya
But his confident sent
sov direckshun haz ment
That hiz dreamz hav now arked towardz failyer.

Lyk hiz co-eekwalz,  Cayard iz apt
To devize and contrive to hav tapt
From a billionairez stash
the most utmost of cash
Notwithstanding, there campane unwrapt.

From a land with a shape lyk a boote
Came a teem with no shortadje of loote
But thay ran out of timing
(Az Ive run owt of ryming)
In fackt timing woz not there strong soote.

Wun thing thats kwite sertin with Dalts
in spyt of his manifest faults
( - Hiz opponents hav winst
Coz hiz werds are not minst - )
BUT: hiz nuts shore are dun up with bolts.
 

I nominate this post for a sticky.

#30 ianz

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:46 AM

There was an old sailor called Coutts
Who thought he was wearing the boots
What's that? He said
You added some lead?
Ahh no worries, they're all in cahoots

#31 ianz

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:02 PM

If you're planning to sail the AC
In foiling cats over the sea
Better shift all the lead
From the bow to the shed
Or you'll end up A over T

#32 snaerk

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:03 PM

Sed Russ, "I woz alwaze a trier
And my aim haz got hier and hier


but, averting my gaze from minutiae,
my KP contracted a UTI


and now I am peeing barbed wier"
 



#33 ianz

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:03 PM

One more:

Tucker Thompson was once heard to say
Andy there's two 72's on the Bay
Better grab for yourself
Something from the top shelf
While we figure out just what to say

#34 snaerk

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:07 PM

wickered!



#35 ianz

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 12:32 PM

How I yearn for the days of D Connor
No candidate for the legion of honour
What's that you've got?
A ninety foot yacht?
So he pulled out a cat and was goner

#36 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 01:07 PM




There once was a sailor called Simmer
His first job ? Australia's trimmer!
But the years had gone by
Bringing tears and a sigh
His glory was faded - was dimmer.

Could he return to the circle of winners ?
But which boat would give him that glimmer ?
He thought one designs fine
But for your boat not mine
And proceeded to make his hulls slimmer.

He had an old mate called Murray
Couldn't recognize epoxy-lead slurry
But when he cut colour seven
For world championship heaven
He sure made it home in a hurry

Another young gun was called Jimmy
At the starts he surely could shimmy
But with the wind on his arse
And the tide ebbing fast
All his crew ended up in the swimmy

Of the Aussies Bertrand's the man
Who removed from New York the old can
But now that he's old
And his stories been told
It's to swimming he's turning his hand

Not since Their boat went down the mine
Have the Aussies repeated the crime
The Cup stays aloof
As visible proof
Although Bondy has served out his time

Syd Fishers a crusty old goat
With plenty of dough in his tote
He wasted his time
In Oosanens prime
And now he won't pay for a boat

#37 Savoyard

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 03:54 PM

Now Limericks are often salacious

Being otherwise is rather audacious

those 72's are so fast

That they just might not last

But Break up to loud cries of "Good Gracious"

 

45's may have pointed the way

Within their tight rules some don't stay

a repair to a post (king)

was a regular thing

but to alter was never fair play



#38 ~Stingray~

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 04:57 PM

Said DB well it sure ain't a foil
Or some vortex antigravity coil
Nick came up with that shit
Had a massive one lit
They look strange as all fookin' hoil

#39 Bilge Rat 99

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 05:25 PM

The Flintstones, they said, were in trouble

It’s the number of hulls we should double!

But lopsided races

And egg on their faces

Showed the wisdom of old Barney Rubble



#40 WhiteLightnin'

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:17 PM

The NZL journo's were all bleatin'
Over the claims that there was some cheatin'
Though the Jury had not ruled
They continued to drool

Reporting nothing but "facts"
Their standards a bit lax
They kept digging deep
Like at home with the sheep


WL

#41 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:26 PM


Oracle did an unorthodox thing
And very thoroughly trashed their wing
The rig was certainly damned
- everyone heard "Bam Bam"
And the Clysar started to ping

Not all of the trash floated in reach
Some was adrift for a matter of weeks
By swallowing bits
All the birds got the shits
And some jellyfish lost their sting

The environmentalists started to screech
This carbon footprint was clearly in breach
Southwards floated the spill
(It was spied from a hill)
Forming hazards on Pebbles Beach

#42 ~Stingray~

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:36 PM

The NZ journalistos were lyin'
Their imaginations again were just flyin'
As they reached in their sack
For another piece of crack
And divined about Pelicans Dyin'

#43 floater

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:46 PM

Take it from Morelli and Melvin
It's not an issue of helm'in
Afloats just not it
Like Woody's POS
If its the Cup you wish to be seen in

#44 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:03 PM

The NZ journalistos were lyin'
Their imaginations again were just flyin'
As they reached in their sack
For another piece of crack
And divined about Pelicans Dyin'



A pelican from fishermans wharf
Whilst cooly surveying the course
Caught sight of some clysar
And took a great dive sir
But was killed by impactive force

#45 floater

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:04 PM

There was a young fellow from Auckland
A bit ironic - cause he dint even like land
And sailing's to wet
He spluttered and spat
But the flyin's working better than planned

#46 floater

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:13 PM

The guy from Chicago made Billions
But the cup he desired was Switzerlands
So he hired the best
And argued the rest
With Dogzilla for show by his minions

#47 ~Stingray~

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:21 PM

A pelican from fishermans wharf
Whilst cooly surveying the course
Caught sight of some clysar
And took a great dive sir
But was killed by impactive force

:D

#48 floater

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:40 PM

Captain America his name was Cayard
What luck, the cup in his backyard!
With a Billionaires hoard
All the best were aboard
'cept Kouyoumdjian - who now works as cow herd

#49 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:44 PM


A pelican from fishermans wharf
Whilst cooly surveying the course
Caught sight of some clysar
And took a great dive sir
But was killed by impactive force

:D

The pelican made quite a parcel
As it flew by trimmer Marcel
It let out a squawk as it hit the deck
Neatly snapping off its neck
Its last clear vision was its arsehole.

#50 ~Stingray~

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:47 PM

:D Very good, ridiculous earns points in this poetic style.

#51 l-foraster

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 11:48 PM

Captain America his name was Cayard
What luck, the cup in his backyard!
With a Billionaires hoard
All the best were aboard
'cept Kouyoumdjian - who now works as cow herd




You compose an ode to Artemis
Maybe just to take the piss
But Did you sign an NDA?
Now - that will not go away
Which makes it all quite serious

To write the piece t'would be cruel
You never know - perhaps the crew will
It would be just a limerick
And surely they would know the trick
Except that they forgot that the last line has to rhyme with the first one so they thought they should throw it out and start again but had already got this far so decided to push on anyway and see I they could work it out in the end . . .

I don't get it - maybe you will ?

#52 floater

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 12:12 AM

It was bulky, so they called it The Tractor
but most knew it was obviously faster
than those millionaire twins
with their copycat fins
all that's left, is Knighthood, for her Master

#53 like

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 12:24 AM

Now young Bud was a bit of a wanker
Who got off by sitting down on the anchor
He got a job as the pit
On OR with James Spit
But took the anchor on board and he sank her!

#54 ianz

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 12:37 AM

Oh how I mourned in the days of Ernesto

Who pinched all our sailors hey presto

To the rest Grant said Stay!

We'll bring the Cup back someday

So long as you don't mind Nespresso



#55 snaerk

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 12:40 AM

^ classick !



#56 l-foraster

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 12:56 AM



A pelican from fishermans wharf
Whilst cooly surveying the course
Caught sight of some clysar
And took a great dive sir
But was killed by impactive force

:D
The pelican made quite a parcel
As it flew by trimmer Marcel
It let out a squawk as it hit the deck
Neatly snapping off its neck
Its last clear vision was its arsehole.




Now a pelican has a great beak
And is always looking for something to eat
And when they are ravenous
Become quite scavengous
So beware they don't aim at your feet

There was a particular bird
They had strayed away from the herd
Down to Pier 80
it became rather matey
With the oracle boatbuilders crowd

It used to hang out by the trash
For the tidbits, nibbles and mash
One day in a rush
It swallowed some mush
From a furtively guarded stash

Although he swallowed it whole
The taste was a little bit foul
Something stuck in his throat
He could no longer float
So he took to his wings on the prowl

But his flight was upset by gravity
Due to his dining depravity
He flew down by the head
With a beak full of lead
Which modified his pitch stability

Which is why that bird so did lunge
At the deck in his deadly plunge
When they did the autopsy
They found that epoxy
Mixed with lead had comprised his lunch

#57 ianz

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 01:08 AM

Of the Facebook generation it is reckoned

The attention span lasts just a second

We don't want, on the Bay

Races lasting a day

Now it's pelicans and dolphins that are threatened.



#58 ianz

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 01:13 AM

Oh Think Of The Children, said he

As he choked on his morning iced tea

If the rudder's that shape

She'll pp under the Gate

Why will nobody listen to me?

 

And so on it went ad infinitum

Until 9 August when we were enlightened

Are you crazy? We said

In your bow, you put lead!

Aww shucks, SR claimed, pure erratum.

 

(Edit - meant to submit these two as one post)



#59 brian weslake

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 01:47 AM

Young Jimmy really was pissed

When he found out his fellas had missed

Removing the shot

From that one forward spot

How’s that for a leading edge twist



#60 Nutta

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 02:16 AM

Coutts you're a boy make a big noise

Prayin' in San Fran yo' have a team after today
You got Jury in yo' face
You big disgrace
Getting your facts wrong all over over the place
I'm sayin'
 
ET NZ will smack you!
ET NZ wins nine nil!
 
Jimmy you're a young man scared man
Sailin' in San Fran hope to take on Dean Barker some day
You got MC in yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your bag of lead all over the place
 
ET NZ will smack you!
I'm sayin'
ET NZ wins nine nil!
 
Larry you're an old man rich man
Payin' with your brand it's worthless after today
Like Alinghi - fallen from grace
Oracle in disgrace
IJ's gonna put you back into your place
 
ET NZ will smack you!
I'm sayin'
ET NZ wins nine nil!
Everybody
ET NZ will smack you!
ET NZ wins nine nil!
Alright.


#61 ianz

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 04:32 AM

If you are going to San Fran docks
Be sure to wear flowers in your locks
If your scalp is like Grant's
Then instead do a dance
And you can take your pick from the flock

(Hat tip to Scott McKenzie)

#62 l-foraster

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 08:52 AM

Young Jimmy really was pissed
When he found out his fellas had missed
Removing the shot
From that one forward spot
Hows that for a leading edge twist


What an elegant leading edge twist
An interpretation easily missed
Lets see if the jury
Can bring light to the fury
That sworls in the Golden Gate Mist

#63 brian weslake

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:03 AM

Russell, a Kiwi laconic

Had a lust for the Cup that was chronic

He called Ernie a cheat

And full of deceit

Now that’s looking fucking ironic



#64 Nutta

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:06 AM

^clap clap clap!

#65 kwikfisher

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:26 AM

Thers once was a sailor called Grant

Who tried sailing cats on a slant

Was so fast that you see

He sailed past in the lee

Of OR who believed that he cant

 

Then along came one skipper called Dean

Who cant bear to lose , its obscene

So he told his quick crew

Now its over to you

Find the lead if you know what I mean !

 

 

 

 



#66 JJD

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:41 AM

Coutts you're a boy make a big noise
Prayin' in San Fran yo' have a team after today
You got Jury in yo' face
You big disgrace
Getting your facts wrong all over over the place
I'm sayin'
 
ET NZ will smack you!
ET NZ wins nine nil!
 
Jimmy you're a young man scared man
Sailin' in San Fran hope to take on Dean Barker some day
You got MC in yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your bag of lead all over the place
 
ET NZ will smack you!
I'm sayin'
ET NZ wins nine nil!
 
Larry you're an old man rich man
Payin' with your brand it's worthless after today
Like Alinghi - fallen from grace
Oracle in disgrace
IJ's gonna put you back into your place
 
ET NZ will smack you!
I'm sayin'
ET NZ wins nine nil!
Everybody
ET NZ will smack you!
ET NZ wins nine nil!
Alright.


Very well done mate.

#67 l-foraster

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 06:21 PM

Now old tugboat is a survivor
As a lifeboat none could float higher
Larry's focused on speed dials
Is Jimmy on sea trial ?
Or inspecting greyhound bus tyres ?

if your wondering just what might transpire
Well maybe best go talk to the choir
For the torments quite thick
And the crew are all sick
As for me - I'll say Sayonara . . .

#68 the loose cannon

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 08:01 PM

There once was a tractor that flew
Using science that no one else knew
The designers it's said
Wrote the rule in their head
And the poor competition were screwed

'Not to worry,' the billionaires said
We'll just throw money at it instead
But the boys that they picked
Couldn't pull off that trick
And the black boat wound up on its head.

#69 the loose cannon

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:02 PM

There once was a tractor that flew
Using science that no one else knew
The designers it's said
Wrote the rule in their head
And the poor competition were screwed
'Not to worry,' the billionaires said
We'll just throw money at it instead
But the boys that they picked
Couldn't pull off that trick
And the black boat wound up on its head.


Must have been from all of that lead

#70 snaerk

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:09 PM

Upon strong allegayshunz of sleez

The IJ wer arsked, woud thay pleez

try to find out just hoo

gayv the werd to the croo

and thay lookt at the lenz and sed "Cheez"



#71 starsinker

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 09:16 PM

Sailor X is only known to the crew

He and his mates are down minus 2

 

When asked why so shy?

He said fuck off and die

 

And that's Sir Sailor X to you!



#72 minimumfuss

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:17 AM

Russell called the decision outrageous

His whining was quite contagious

Soon the www was abuzz

With how stunning it was

his charmlessness would amaze us

 

Larry bought up the best yachties

to beat Dalts and the Bertellis

but his pursuit of the cup

was all fucked up

by a couple of dodgy flunkies



#73 Te Kooti

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:31 AM

Upon strong allegayshunz of sleez

The IJ wer arsked, woud thay pleez

try to find out just hoo

gayv the werd to the croo

and thay lookt at the lenz and sed "Cheez"

 

Further evidence of this lad's intelligence.

 

Snark, where did you go to university?

 

Glasgow? Edinburgh?



#74 brian weslake

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:11 AM

Ernie was having a chuckle

Now that Oracle’s started to buckle

Convictions for cheating

And Russell’s sad bleating

Sympathy? I’d say I have fuckall!



#75 snaerk

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:19 AM

Russell called the decision outrageous

His whining was quite contagious

Soon the www was abuzz

With how stunning it was

his charmlessness would amaze us

 

Larry bought up the best yachties

to beat Dalts and the Bertellis

but his pursuit of the cup

was all fucked up

by a couple of dodgy flunkies

 

that NAYLZ it. Thas eggzacktly the ryt werd !

 

A nyt ov the relm was Prince Charmless

Hoo insistered that he be held harmless

with "Groteskly unfare

And "Owtraydjus, I sware ! ! !"

But the wuntz-shiny armerz now armless



#76 brian weslake

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:25 AM

Larry, your team’s struck a hitch

You can’t fix, no matter how rich

The Dalts clause has backfired

The result undesired

Looks like Karma is really a bitch



#77 brian weslake

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:35 AM

A nyt ov the relm was Prince Charmless

Hoo insistered that he be held harmless

with "Groteskly unfare

And "Owtraydjus, I sware ! ! !"

But the wuntz-shiny armerz now armless

 

Brilliant



#78 bottlerocket

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 01:35 AM

A week has gone by

and OTUSA is up 4 to nil

All the sheep are bleating

because they've taken a beating

by a faster boat accused of cheating



#79 like

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:13 AM

In matters of honour and trust
Well regarded used to be Russ
But trust has been broken
Accountability pure token
And crew has been thrown under the bus

#80 snaerk

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 02:26 AM

A week has gone by

and OTUSA is up 4 to nil

All the sheep are bleating

because they've taken a beating

by a faster boat accused of cheating

 

Wouddint it hav been better to keep this wun under raps until it woz troo?



#81 like

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 06:13 AM

What on earth are the things on the back
of the boat sailed by men dressed in black?
Are they air dams or wings,
or boxes for things?
It's clearly something the OR team lack.

#82 kwikfisher

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 06:55 AM

Russell called the decision outrageous

His whining was quite contagious

Soon the www was abuzz

With how stunning it was

his charmlessness would amaze us

 

Larry bought up the best yachties

to beat Dalts and the Bertellis

but his pursuit of the cup

was all fucked up

by a couple of dodgy flunkies

Good one G.

K



#83 l-foraster

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 07:15 AM

In a cheating enquiry famous
The IJ pronounced not all were blameless
And for special effects
They placed a big X
On a man that must remain nameless

#84 minimumfuss

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 10:47 AM

aotearoa is quite a machine
powered by vodka and coffee bean
emirates donated a wing
camper and omega some bling
and toyota makes them all lean

(at least its G rated)Attached File  SetSize220220-LeanCrop801;339;0-leanwithus94.jpg   9.76K   3 downloads

#85 Clapham

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 10:50 AM

There was a man name Russell

Who always liked a good tussle

He liked Larry’s gold, or so we are told

He even won gold with boils on his arse

Shame his cup turned into such a farce



#86 l-foraster

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 12:13 PM


In a sailing series eXtreme
Sr Russell confronts his eX team
The TV coverage is pure seX
With crews battling the boat as they fleX
But the language aboard is all XXXX

#87 Lex Teredo

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:12 PM

The racing has really been 'orrible,

Led by old Larry from Oracle,

He's high tech and meant well,

But oh bleeding hell,

They'd do better racing a coracle.



#88 Clapham

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 03:25 PM

Oracle? 

 

One Ridiculous Arse Cheated Larry Ellison 



#89 Dixie

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 05:16 PM

'Twas wings that won the thirty-third race.

Now better flight is the key for first place.

But the cheating has got

our knickers in a knot.

Will a win on the water save face? 



#90 Nutrunner Dorchester

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 09:20 PM

My AC72 flopped in to the ocean,

I added lead to go fast at sea...

Spithill had better recover,

or New Zealand will return home happily....

 



#91 pjfranks

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 09:34 PM

in days of yore when king posts were poor

they could be fixed by the application of lead

but in today's world, the best remedy sold

is a little blue pill instead  :)



#92 kwikfisher

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 03:42 AM

aotearoa is quite a machine
powered by vodka and coffee bean
emirates donated a wing
camper and omega some bling
and toyota makes them all lean

(at least its G rated)attachicon.gifSetSize220220-LeanCrop801;339;0-leanwithus94.jpg

Jus luvin it!! 100+



#93 kwikfisher

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 03:45 AM

In a cheating enquiry famous
The IJ pronounced not all were blameless
And for special effects
They placed a big X
On a man that must remain nameless

Well spoke  good sire !



#94 Boatworks

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 04:23 AM

Russell, a Kiwi laconic
Had a lust for the Cup that was chronic
He called Ernie a cheat
And full of deceit
Now thats looking fucking ironic


hahahaha!

#95 Titan Uranus

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 05:47 AM

Let's forget the spin

Its kiwis v the yanks

Will the kiwis win

Or will they fire blanks




Coutts is the man to beat

Barker has a lot to prove

Dalton thinks everything is "neat"

Larry ain't looking so Smooth.





Who has the faster cat

Who has the strongest gear

ETNZ know where it's at.

oracle will have no fear.




The course we know is to short

The wind limit way to low

Will this end in court

If one boat is to slow




Will gear failure dictate

Or will skill prevail

Dalton's crew relate

spitall's crew look pale.





eTNZ is in it to win it.

oracle scrambling to survive

Neck Minute

oracle win two and its alive!





Whatever the racing outcome

No matter which side you back

We will all enjoy a good rum

And know they all had a good crack!





And when all is done and dusted

The hangover has long past

Don't get to flustered

The next AC will be here Fast.

#96 Titan Uranus

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:08 PM

.

#97 like

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 10:47 PM

The IJ has issued it's ruling
And JS & RC are complaining
The skippers have met
Crushed their fingers, I bet
Thank f*ck we can get on with the racing

#98 l-foraster

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 01:56 AM

Well it seems that the grip of the nation
Is now linear hydraulic actuation
One teams angled an attack
Pitched at the others back
Will the jury recant regulation ?

#99 Nutta

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 02:29 AM

Why are we waiting,

Jury meditating...

Oh, why are we waiting,

For a de-cis-ion.

 

Why are we waiting,
Could be bloody sailing,
Oh, why are we waiting?
Oh, why are we waiting?
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long!
 
(repeat until beer arrrives)


#100 aucklander

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 03:10 AM

On Anarchy it is tempting to comment

back to posts which are possibly mismeant

it can quite raise the ire

of cantankerous choirs

who have somewhat different accents






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