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Sailing Anarchists Affected by Cancer


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#601 Ancient_Mariner

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:23 AM

Thanks AM. I will. I just needed the place here to sort some things out in my heart and head.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter-in-law. Terrible news. I will keep her in my thoughts. Show her this thread for comfort, she isn't alone in her journey. This place has such huge shoulders and support, the quiet corner of SA. And her hair will grow back. Do they live nearby?


Thx MSG. 6 hours away unfortunately. However, they have a great support group close by.....her folks, brother and 400 women in a Mothers' Club. I've offered to be there in 7 hours or less if I can help in any way...and stay as long as help is needed. Pretty much all I can do for now.

#602 riggert

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:51 AM

A few years ago I did not know how to approach a friend with cancer. Was worried about my behaviour depressing my friend, doing / saying the wrong things,

and now that I am being treated for leukaemia I really appreciate people calling me or dropping by to visit, reminds me that there are good people out there, it does not matter what we talk about, it is having friends and family that turn up.

Take it Easy



#603 RockHead

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 02:19 PM

MSG,

Certainly not an easy conversation to have. I did not have the opportunity to have that conversation with my friend Mike before he died of pancreatic & colon cancer. I wish I had and I will regret it for a lifetime. Don't let that happen to you.

As hard as it is, just pick up the phone, dial the number and say, "Hi." The conversation will flow, though so will the tears. He knows where he stands in the circle of life. Admitting you don't know what to say is going to be okay. From your description, he'll likely be the one comforting you, and that's okay too.

Please, do it today, before it's too late.

Dan

#604 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 03:17 PM

I don't know where else to go with this but here. My friend Fred is dying, losing weight rapidly and the cancer is growing. He was diagnosed about a year and a half ago. Pancreas. We always call him Red Fred because he always and I mean always has HotBall candies on him that he hands out to everyone: his grocery store clerks, bartenders, mailmen, cops when they pull him over and us, his friends.
I've know him for ten years and they are many fun memories and many many drinks and BBQ's shared. And a metric shit~ton of laughter and jokes.

It isn't so much his death that bothers me: he has made peace with it, spirtually, has made his arrangements for his services and his stuff. It's that I don't know how to say goodbye. And I feel selfish for feeling this way: HE'S the one who is dying, why am I the one who doesn't know how to say goodbye? I will still be here. I don't want him to die and I don't want him in pain anymore. I don't want RedFred to have to see himself as that skinny, ill person he has become now. He won't get better. My friend Barbara who is with him says the doctors say it is a matter of days, maybe weeks. He is home though and for that, I am thankful.
He's like 6 feet tall and not fat but a BIG guy. A shell now.
I am very sad and I don't want him to know how sad I am. I want him to be at peace and go on to his next life. Because it is time. It is his time. And then I feel like a shit for wanting him to step into his next life. He isn't alone, friends or family is always with him. He is in North Carolina and I am in New York. I don't know how to pick up the phone and call him. I just feel like I can't. I don't want him to hear me cry because he has always faced what is happening to him with such dignity and laughter and that god~damn endless supply of HotBall candies. I don't know how to say goodbye.

I have never lost anyone to an illness who was so young. He is 57 I think now. My other friends and family I have lost were all older or they died young suddenly so there was just the shock of it all that numbed things. How do I tell him goodbye? Because I have this chance to do it while he is alive.

Thanks for listening everyone. And keep RedFred in your thoughts please.



MSG,
As Dan said above, just make the call. No need to plan it out or worry about what to say. It will come from your heart, and Fred will understand, even if it's completely incoherent. Trust me on that one! ;)

Michelle, a dear friend in CA, was diagnosed with breast cancer about the time I got MS & GIST cancer a bit over five years ago. We thought she had beat the cancer, and she then had a second child two years ago. Six months later the cancer came back strong, and it was obvious it had spread across her body.

She battled hard because of her children, so it was very hard to talk to her about the reality of what she was facing because her entire focus was on staying positive and (to be honest) avoiding the reality of what she was facing. How can you talk with someone about the subject of dying when all they want to do is live, after all? This past May she was finally able to focus on the end of her life, as sad as that was to deal with. Her best friend and I cooked up a conspiracy to surprise her. In early June, I flew out to the SF Bay area and showed up at her chemo appointment. She walked in to find me sitting in the chair, and while I had thought I'd be strong enough to be strong for her, I lost it completely.

The first hug we shared was the best, longest and most important one I've ever had in my entire life.

We spent 8 hours together that day at the hospital and her home. I also spent time with her best friend, her husband, her mom and her kids. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the term "closure" but for lack of a better term, it was what we both needed. We spoke after I returned to Minnesota, and she wrote me an amazing letter that I will treasure forever. Bottom line: it was one of the best moves I've ever made.

Michelle passed away in peace on July 15th. I haven't gotten over it, and probably never will, but I can live with the pain.
Hugs to you**

Blake

#605 Bowgirl

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 03:34 PM

I agree with what's been said, MSG. Just pick up the phone and start with Hi. You'll always second guess what you woulda/coulda/shoulda said. Tough. Your regrets will be that much deeper if whatever you're feeling remains unsaid.

If it helps, why not write down, for yourself, the top 10 reasons you're glad you had him present in your life? Might give you stuff to talk about.

Losing Skip made me wonder if it isn't easier to be the one dying - I mean, they don't have to go on with a void in their lives, the way we do. He fought the tougher battle, though. Aw hell, it sucks no matter which side you're on.


Rockhead - please wear a nametag the next time I see you. I don't think I'll recognize that cleanly shaven face. Go The Pebble!!

#606 MI1

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 04:16 PM

MSG,
how's it going babe?

i think i told you i had hodgkins ( a type of lymphoma or lymphatic) cancer 20 years ago.
when people came to visit me in the hospital they would get very upset, and that bothered me very much.
right after that i had a friend AJ who was diagnosed with melanoma and slipped away very fast.
i tried twice going through the door at the hospital and later where he was being hospiced, I could not do it as i fell apart at the door and had to go drink myself to sleep.

It is by far the largest regret of my life.

just do it, i wish I had
art

#607 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:07 PM

Thank you everyone, for the strength I needed in this. Thank you.

#608 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 04:58 PM

My friend Barbara rang this morning while I was on my way to work. Fred died. I worked for a few hours then came home for a good cry which made me feel better. I wanted to tell everyone here what happened. I am numb. And so very sad.

I tried to call him last weekend but he wasn't taking calls, too weak, a bad day. I wrote him a quick email and then sat down and wrote a letter which I mailed on Monday. I don't know if he got it in time. But I do know that he knew I was thinking of him. I know he was ready. He went on to his next adventure. I'll see him next time.

Please join me in raising a glass and a farewell: RedFred is dead. (Can't resist that, it's funny and it rhymes and laughter is good right now. Oh my God is it ever!)

I'll never be able to see HotBall candies without thinking of him and that brings a smile to my face. I think I have to go buy some to hand out to everyone.


Barbara also told me my friend Debbie Wagner was found dead last night. We don't know what happened. She had 6 kids and right now, I have to call her husband. I hate being so far away from my other home in Beaufort, North Carolina now. This is so hard today.

#609 Stevem1971

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 05:28 PM

My friend Barbara rang this morning while I was on my way to work. Fred died. I worked for a few hours then came home for a good cry which made me feel better. I wanted to tell everyone here what happened. I am numb. And so very sad.

I tried to call him last weekend but he wasn't taking calls, too weak, a bad day. I wrote him a quick email and then sat down and wrote a letter which I mailed on Monday. I don't know if he got it in time. But I do know that he knew I was thinking of him. I know he was ready. He went on to his next adventure. I'll see him next time.

Please join me in raising a glass and a farewell: RedFred is dead. (Can't resist that, it's funny and it rhymes and laughter is good right now. Oh my God is it ever!)

I'll never be able to see HotBall candies without thinking of him and that brings a smile to my face. I think I have to go buy some to hand out to everyone.


Barbara also told me my friend Debbie Wagner was found dead last night. We don't know what happened. She had 6 kids and right now, I have to call her husband. I hate being so far away from my other home in Beaufort, North Carolina now. This is so hard today.


I am so sorry for both of your losses. I too will raise a glass this evening in honor of both. All the best -

#610 Bowgirl

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 09:36 PM

Glad you had the chance to let Fred know how important he was... but so sorry to hear about Debbie. Sudden deaths are our reminder not to let good words go unspoken.

Sending huge hugs your way, and raising a glass in honour of your good friends, and the good friend you are.

C/

#611 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 09:42 PM

Thanks Steve. Thanks C. I am glad for the chance I had with Fred also. It means something though I don't know exactly what..... :D There's laughter and tears today. Such a strange feeling.

Death always arrives early. But we all get a lifetime. We do what we can. And that simply has to be enough.

#612 Heaven can wait

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 11:08 AM

It's really annoying that this thread falls off the main page even faster these days, leaving us all oblivious to who's reaching out, and a shared thought for those we've lost in the lead up to Christmas.

MSG, I lit a Candle for you in celebration of those 2 dear friends lost to you only recently and share in your grief and sadness at their passing.

Please take heart my friend, with their passing the journey isn't over, it is merely a nature stop on the greater highway of life and as a friend it is our job as mere mortals to ensure that there's enough Toilet paper for the journey ahead.

Unknown


Strength to you MSG my girl, as it is far better to have known your friends in life, than to not have known them at all.

Fair winds.

S.

#613 jetfuel

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 11:46 AM

I just found out last Wed I have cancer and am waiting for a Cat Scan to find the primary tumor. It is very hard to tell your good friends and family whats going on as you see how much it hurts them.
Cancelled my trip to St Maarten race week as I will proably be undergoing treatment (hopefully finishing) Not fun.

#614 Heaven can wait

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 01:24 PM

I thought I was getting pretty good at this dealing with Cancer Caper having dodged my own bullets a little while back, being now almost desensitized to its scourge, it's lack of compassion, it's grasp on darkness, until yet again I'm reminded that we are not invincible.

Today will forever be etched in my mind as "Dad Day" as with one month to the day until we Celebrate Christmas 09, I will be destined to somehow never forget this one.

As many of you know my Father was diagnosed with Cancer 2 years ago. Ironically my Fathers Oncologist is also my own, so whilst my own health began to sort itself out, I was able to keep an eye on how Dad was going, and decipher the Medical mumbo Jumbo my parents didn't understand.

One of the really tough aspects in being so close to the Coal Face, is as Dad's condition began to deteriorate, I knew what was happening almost before he did, which had some positive merit, but now has seemingly become a massive burden.

Cancer unfortunately is a numbers game, and whilst the numbers are decreasing and we're winning, remaining positive is almost an easy thing to do, but with Dad the numbers just didn't come down enough, and after the Medical and Surgical World has thrown just about everything at him, it's the treatment now that is doing him the most damage, which has finally led us all to the penultimate crossroads, as medically we can go no further.

I never really knew my Father while I was growing up as his Job kept him away for months at a time. Even when he was home he continued to work long hours, but he was always a fan of my Rugby, my Tennis and my Sailing, however it's still disappointing that I recall so much of my childhood reflecting more on his working here and there rather than being an everyday 9 to 5 Father.

I guess for me the closest I got to my Father early on was when my Sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. Dad was the only one in my Family I'd see for months on end until my Sister was well enough to come home.

Dad and I did have 2 very strong interests, those being Sailing and the other Building Model Yachts. During my Sisters Illness my Grandmother bought me my first Model Yacht, and together Dad and I put it together plank by plank, and bit by bit and even today some 30 years later that boat sits proud on the Mantle.

Attached File  Adelphie_3.jpg   41.45K   3 downloads

It wasn't until I was married and moved up here from Sydney did I get to really know my Father, and together in a variety of boats we won just about everything we could before Dad retired from Competitive Sailing back in 03.

Dad was always a staunch believer in my HCW 24hour Yacht race, and when just about everyone in my Club dissed the idea, Dad as Commodore stepped up and together we started what will become our Legacy "the HCW 24hour Yacht Race".

I feel that I am fortunate now that Dad got to see our Boat "OSBHCW" start and finish the 2008 HCW 24hour, as although I couldn't compete in this years Event, Dad was too Ill to venture out also. I couldn't help but Reflect as the competing yachts disappeared into the mire of yet another rain squall just after the start this year and I guess I knew then that the writing was on wall, however where ever there is hope, I willed Dad on and as a family we were going to damn well beat this disease.

Attached File  2008_10040859_1_.jpg   52.6K   6 downloads Attached File  HCW_Transom_shot.jpg   185.92K   12 downloads

Tonight however I spoke with my Sister, who fought back tears the entire time whilst we made a tentative plan for Christmas Day, which in reality brought home what our Family is now certain to face.

I still struggle to get my mind around the prospect of being without my Father, but in a way I've already dealt with it, however that is what really hurts the most as my Sister and Mother struggle day by day with the notion.

It's certainly a difficult time in the HCW household, I love you D and I'm with you and Mum every step of the way.

HCW.

#615 Heaven can wait

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 02:38 PM

I just found out last Wed I have cancer and am waiting for a Cat Scan to find the primary tumor. It is very hard to tell your good friends and family whats going on as you see how much it hurts them.
Cancelled my trip to St Maarten race week as I will proably be undergoing treatment (hopefully finishing) Not fun.



Wishing all the very best from Down Under Jet, welcome to our truly unique SA Club.

My Father in Law and I were diagnosed on the same day, an hour apart. A fun Dinner that night was.

The next day when I went to work, the Guys next door were rolling around under the guise of their Hangovers, needless to say their whining was short lived.

Reality is sometimes unfortunately a dish best served Cold.

#616 RockHead

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 10:42 PM

There's just not much to add that hasn't been said before... Prayers for all of you.

As an aside -Last week I flew from Boston to Amsterdam and back. Spurred by seeing it on a recommended reading list for cancer patients, I took the opportunity to re-read Lance Armstrong's It's Not About the Bike. I read it when it first came out, as a cycling fan. Re-reading it now, as a full-fledged, card carrying member of the cancer community was quite emotional. I saw where it had shaped my mental and treatment approach to my son's diagnosis. It was sort of cathartic, empowering and inspiring. I think I'll have to take it off the shelf and re-read it every couple of years...

#617 behappy

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Posted 25 November 2009 - 02:57 AM

Thursday is Thanksgiving here in the US. The Sunday after Thanksgiving 3 years ago, I found my lump. That started a rough year. Now, I am thankful for two years cancer free. I am thankful for friends and family. And I am thankful for the posters on this thread. You are like my secret friends in a tough club. I cry when you post of those who have gone and I cheer for the victories, big and small.

I am thankful for all of you. I include all of you who are supporting friends and families with cancer as well as my fellow cancer club members. I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers! Happy Thanksgiving to you all, if you are in the US or not.

#618 dain bramage

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Posted 25 November 2009 - 03:39 AM

I just found out last Wed I have cancer and am waiting for a Cat Scan to find the primary tumor. It is very hard to tell your good friends and family whats going on as you see how much it hurts them.
Cancelled my trip to St Maarten race week as I will proably be undergoing treatment (hopefully finishing) Not fun.


Jetfuel, many of us understand the difficulty sharing with family whats happening. I'm still not OK with talking about "it".
You'll find your own approach in time.
I can attest that the Anarchists that hang out in here are some of the finest most compassionate people I have ever met.

Take good care of yourself!

dain

#619 Amati

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Posted 25 November 2009 - 04:46 AM

I just found out last Wed I have cancer and am waiting for a Cat Scan to find the primary tumor. It is very hard to tell your good friends and family whats going on as you see how much it hurts them.
Cancelled my trip to St Maarten race week as I will proably be undergoing treatment (hopefully finishing) Not fun.


I went through the same thing. And then I found out that everybody is great about it. Really. It will confirm your belief in humanity.

Hardest thing #1. Being told you have it.

Hardest thing #2. Telling others.

It gets a lot easier after that. Going through treatment is mainly showing up and dealing with stuff.

Be sensitive to how all this is affecting those around you. It's wierd, but most of the time it's harder on them than you. You know what's going on (in that your feeling it). They have to watch. Lean on them. They'll love you for it.

Paul

#620 Amati

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Posted 25 November 2009 - 04:56 AM

I thought I was getting pretty good at this dealing with Cancer Caper having dodged my own bullets a little while back, being now almost desensitized to its scourge, it's lack of compassion, it's grasp on darkness, until yet again I'm reminded that we are not invincible.

Today will forever be etched in my mind as "Dad Day" as with one month to the day until we Celebrate Christmas 09, I will be destined to somehow never forget this one.

As many of you know my Father was diagnosed with Cancer 2 years ago. Ironically my Fathers Oncologist is also my own, so whilst my own health began to sort itself out, I was able to keep an eye on how Dad was going, and decipher the Medical mumbo Jumbo my parents didn't understand.

One of the really tough aspects in being so close to the Coal Face, is as Dad's condition began to deteriorate, I knew what was happening almost before he did, which had some positive merit, but now has seemingly become a massive burden.

Cancer unfortunately is a numbers game, and whilst the numbers are decreasing and we're winning, remaining positive is almost an easy thing to do, but with Dad the numbers just didn't come down enough, and after the Medical and Surgical World has thrown just about everything at him, it's the treatment now that is doing him the most damage, which has finally led us all to the penultimate crossroads, as medically we can go no further.

I never really knew my Father while I was growing up as his Job kept him away for months at a time. Even when he was home he continued to work long hours, but he was always a fan of my Rugby, my Tennis and my Sailing, however it's still disappointing that I recall so much of my childhood reflecting more on his working here and there rather than being an everyday 9 to 5 Father.

I guess for me the closest I got to my Father early on was when my Sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. Dad was the only one in my Family I'd see for months on end until my Sister was well enough to come home.

Dad and I did have 2 very strong interests, those being Sailing and the other Building Model Yachts. During my Sisters Illness my Grandmother bought me my first Model Yacht, and together Dad and I put it together plank by plank, and bit by bit and even today some 30 years later that boat sits proud on the Mantle.

Attached File  Adelphie_3.jpg   41.45K   3 downloads

It wasn't until I was married and moved up here from Sydney did I get to really know my Father, and together in a variety of boats we won just about everything we could before Dad retired from Competitive Sailing back in 03.

Dad was always a staunch believer in my HCW 24hour Yacht race, and when just about everyone in my Club dissed the idea, Dad as Commodore stepped up and together we started what will become our Legacy "the HCW 24hour Yacht Race".

I feel that I am fortunate now that Dad got to see our Boat "OSBHCW" start and finish the 2008 HCW 24hour, as although I couldn't compete in this years Event, Dad was too Ill to venture out also. I couldn't help but Reflect as the competing yachts disappeared into the mire of yet another rain squall just after the start this year and I guess I knew then that the writing was on wall, however where ever there is hope, I willed Dad on and as a family we were going to damn well beat this disease.

Attached File  2008_10040859_1_.jpg   52.6K   6 downloads Attached File  HCW_Transom_shot.jpg   185.92K   12 downloads

Tonight however I spoke with my Sister, who fought back tears the entire time whilst we made a tentative plan for Christmas Day, which in reality brought home what our Family is now certain to face.

I still struggle to get my mind around the prospect of being without my Father, but in a way I've already dealt with it, however that is what really hurts the most as my Sister and Mother struggle day by day with the notion.

It's certainly a difficult time in the HCW household, I love you D and I'm with you and Mum every step of the way.

HCW.


HCW, you and your family hang in there.

FWIW, it's been 35+ years since I lost my dad, and for some reason the times spent sailing with him get more and more important to me.

My dad , at the end (colorectal cancer), told me to enjoy the moment. And, as usual, he was right. I didn't understand, of course, but he was right.

Paul

#621 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 25 November 2009 - 07:49 AM

Tonight however I spoke with my Sister, who fought back tears the entire time whilst we made a tentative plan for Christmas Day, which in reality brought home what our Family is now certain to face.

I still struggle to get my mind around the prospect of being without my Father, but in a way I've already dealt with it, however that is what really hurts the most as my Sister and Mother struggle day by day with the notion.

It's certainly a difficult time in the HCW household, I love you D and I'm with you and Mum every step of the way.

HCW.


Shaun,
My thoughts are still with you and your family. I just wish I wasn't 9000 miles away. Hang in there my friend**

Blake

#622 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 29 November 2009 - 08:51 PM

It's really annoying that this thread falls off the main page even faster these days, leaving us all oblivious to who's reaching out, and a shared thought for those we've lost in the lead up to Christmas.

MSG, I lit a Candle for you in celebration of those 2 dear friends lost to you only recently and share in your grief and sadness at their passing.

Please take heart my friend, with their passing the journey isn't over, it is merely a nature stop on the greater highway of life and as a friend it is our job as mere mortals to ensure that there's enough Toilet paper for the journey ahead.

Unknown


Strength to you MSG my girl, as it is far better to have known your friends in life, than to not have known them at all.

Fair winds.

S.

Thank you.

Today I found out we lost our wonderful Marlene Morton to the horrific beast. She was my second Mom. She will be missed and my heart is hurting. Yet, I am taking comfort in this community here, to have the support and give the support we all need in this life. Which can be filled with so much sorrow and so much beauty and hope and compassion and love.

I am a better person because of those who are my friends, some of whom I have lost and because of the people in this community. Thanks for that.

#623 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 29 November 2009 - 08:54 PM

I just found out last Wed I have cancer and am waiting for a Cat Scan to find the primary tumor. It is very hard to tell your good friends and family whats going on as you see how much it hurts them.
Cancelled my trip to St Maarten race week as I will proably be undergoing treatment (hopefully finishing) Not fun.

You're not alone here. My thoughts and heart are sending good energy and strength to you.

#624 dain bramage

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Posted 29 November 2009 - 10:33 PM

It's really annoying that this thread falls off the main page even faster these days, leaving us all oblivious to who's reaching out, and a shared thought for those we've lost in the lead up to Christmas.

MSG, I lit a Candle for you in celebration of those 2 dear friends lost to you only recently and share in your grief and sadness at their passing.

Please take heart my friend, with their passing the journey isn't over, it is merely a nature stop on the greater highway of life and as a friend it is our job as mere mortals to ensure that there's enough Toilet paper for the journey ahead.

Unknown


Strength to you MSG my girl, as it is far better to have known your friends in life, than to not have known them at all.

Fair winds.

S.

Thank you.



Today I found out we lost our wonderful Marlene Morton to the horrific beast. She was my second Mom. She will be missed and my heart is hurting. Yet, I am taking comfort in this community here, to have the support and give the support we all need in this life. Which can be filled with so much sorrow and so much beauty and hope and compassion and love.

I am a better person because of those who are my friends, some of whom I have lost and because of the people in this community. Thanks for that.


Wow, and hits just keep comming.
From a long way away on a cold rainy night, my thoughts are with you and your friend.

#625 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 30 November 2009 - 12:13 AM

There's a comfort in this thread. A reminder that no one is alone, that life is still beautiful and that we all go on to our next adventure. We're all part of the great circle of life. No one's life is any greater or any less than any other. Remember to tell those you love that you love them, to take things one day or sometimes just one hour at a time, that there is strength and courage in numbers and that we all get a lifetime here.

Make it nice. Make it count. Remember to smile, it makes the world a better place.

To those fighting cancer and to those whose loved ones are touched by it, may we all continue to thrive and survive.

Peace.

#626 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 30 November 2009 - 03:47 AM

There's a comfort in this thread. A reminder that no one is alone, that life is still beautiful and that we all go on to our next adventure. We're all part of the great circle of life. No one's life is any greater or any less than any other. Remember to tell those you love that you love them, to take things one day or sometimes just one hour at a time, that there is strength and courage in numbers and that we all get a lifetime here.

Make it nice. Make it count. Remember to smile, it makes the world a better place.

To those fighting cancer and to those whose loved ones are touched by it, may we all continue to thrive and survive.

Peace.



MSG,
VERY well said. I agree 100% No matter what sort of "support network" each of us may (or may not) have, we are all stronger when we are together.
Big Hugs to you**

Blake

#627 Heaven can wait

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 03:16 AM

There's a comfort in this thread. A reminder that no one is alone, that life is still beautiful and that we all go on to our next adventure. We're all part of the great circle of life. No one's life is any greater or any less than any other. Remember to tell those you love that you love them, to take things one day or sometimes just one hour at a time, that there is strength and courage in numbers and that we all get a lifetime here.

Make it nice. Make it count. Remember to smile, it makes the world a better place.

To those fighting cancer and to those whose loved ones are touched by it, may we all continue to thrive and survive.

Peace.



Ditto MSG. ;)

#628 Heaven can wait

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 03:39 AM

Well fellow SAABC'ers yesterday brought an Official end to the 2009 Edition of the Heaven can Wait 24-hour Yacht Race with the handing over of almost $23,000 in funds raised prior to, during and after this years hugely successful Event.

We also gave away $4000 in prizes which were kindly donated by our Events Sponsors to those who submitted their "War Stories" from what is now regarded as the toughest 24-hour Race we've had yet.

Well done to all who contributed and a bloody good job, bloody well done.

HCW over and out...

Attached File  Alt_HCW09start_Std.jpg   53K   6 downloads

The start of the 2009 HCW 24-hour Yacht Race.

Attached File  HCW_2009_chequ_handover.jpeg   552.86K   6 downloads

The Handover of nearly $23,000 to the NSW Cancer Council and the Volunteer Coastal Patrol (Lake Macquarie Division)

For further Details, Pic's and Stories please go to the HCWYC's Official Website www.heavencanwait.com.au and how about join the HCWYC while you're there.

#629 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 03:53 AM

Outstanding Sean. Simply outstanding. Major fucking golf claps. I, and I would like to say I speak for others here, are so unbelievably proud of you, you have done a great thing.

I would never presume to put words in your mouth nor do I truly understand how your disease has changed your life but I do know you have taken the pain and the despair of how this disease has changed your life and turned it into something beautiful and life affirming and something that has brought joy and hope to others. And has bought joy and hope into your life as well.

Well done mate.

Onya.

#630 Heaven can wait

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 10:12 AM

Outstanding Sean. Simply outstanding. Major fucking golf claps. I, and I would like to say I speak for others here, are so unbelievably proud of you, you have done a great thing.

I would never presume to put words in your mouth nor do I truly understand how your disease has changed your life but I do know you have taken the pain and the despair of how this disease has changed your life and turned it into something beautiful and life affirming and something that has brought joy and hope to others. And has bought joy and hope into your life as well.

Well done mate.

Onya.



Thank you my dear, my Baby has finally grown wings and is now flying.

Next year our Goal is a fleet in excess of 100 boats, and to raise $30 K. With the help of a great bunch of blokes we should hopefully get there.

I'll put to our International SAABC'ers that if they can get here for the 2010 Event, I'll have a 2010 HCW 24-hour Battle Pack ready and waiting here for them. ;)

#631 Heaven can wait

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 10:58 AM

Here's a few more Pic's of the 2009 Race courtesy of Blake Middleton and Greg Dickens.

Attached File  2009_10030384.JPG   223.49K   5 downloads

The Race Start.

Attached File  2009_10030220.JPG   181.85K   2 downloads

Another.

Attached File  2009_10030342.JPG   206.05K   10 downloads

Melges 32 "Flyblown" V "Stealthy" Stealth 8

Attached File  Alt_HCW09Gizmo_Std.jpg   53.69K   2 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09HeadingtoMP2_Std.jpg   48.95K   1 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09KinderCaring_Std.jpg   28.96K   4 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09Rhumb_Rock_Std.jpg   64K   3 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09RockNRoll2_Std.jpg   68.52K   1 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09SailSkiff_Std.jpg   33.03K   8 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09TryFlying_Std.jpg   70.56K   4 downloads

Attached File  Alt_HCW09Windchaser_Std.jpg   41.66K   8 downloads

#632 RockHead

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 12:10 AM

Outstanding Sean. Congratulations.

I would love to come to this and meet the skiffies. Did they really race the full 24 hours on skiffs?? Holy crap.

#633 Heaven can wait

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 01:14 PM

Outstanding Sean. Congratulations.

I would love to come to this and meet the skiffies. Did they really race the full 24 hours on skiffs?? Holy crap.


Thank you and no Rockhead, the pair of Sydney 18's and the lone 505 sailed in the "OLD" (One Lap Dash).

I spoke to all the Skiffies post race and given the conditions and the 31nm course, they were are definitely out on their feet and certainly glad to hit the showers.

#634 Bowgirl

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 01:51 PM

Jetfuel - I recall you were battling other health issues just a few years ago and were glad to be past them and on the mend. Now to receive this diagnosis must be so incredibly frustrating. Tons of good wishes being sent your way.

HcW, you are so amazingly eloquent. You know the hugs from here are winging their way to you.

MSG - OMG, how much can you take?! Good to see you're counting the blessings, and huge hugs to you.

It's all such a frikken emotional roller-coaster. One day up, another day down, then back up again, rinse and repeat ... and it's wearing, tiring, frustrating, maddening and the struggle becomes less how to battle the disease and more how to maintain a healthy mindset.

I thank God for this corner of sanity in the insane world in which we make our way. While we each have our own struggles, cancer and otherwise, it's good to remember that others are out there making their way the best they can, too. There are a number of truly amazing and inspiring individuals in this thread.

#635 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 19 December 2009 - 04:26 PM

Yesterday, my friend Don was diagnosed with prostate cancer. 10 of the 12 biopsies were cancerous and the other two were suspicious. The doctor said it is very aggressive. He is 48. They will have to move quickly. On Monday he is going in for a bone scan to see if it has spread. That is all we know right now. It is surreal and hasn't sunk in and it is very, very scary.



Please, please, please everyone send him good healing thoughts and positive energy and strength. Thanks.

#636 Bowgirl

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Posted 22 December 2009 - 11:47 AM

MSG, prayers ON. Hopefully he won't have to wait too long for yesterday's results.

#637 jetfuel

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Posted 22 December 2009 - 12:00 PM

Thank you Bowgirl I spent yesterday in Princess Margaret having biopsies done down my throat and under my tongue. A little hard to eat today. Hopefully I will be back to do another LO 300 this year and finish first rather than second like last yr.
Have a great holiday season! Looking forward to seeing Basketcase after the boatshow again.

#638 basketcase

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Posted 22 December 2009 - 12:54 PM

Thank you Bowgirl I spent yesterday in Princess Margaret having biopsies done down my throat and under my tongue. A little hard to eat today. Hopefully I will be back to do another LO 300 this year and finish first rather than second like last yr.
Have a great holiday season! Looking forward to seeing Basketcase after the boatshow again.


wishing all the best man.
we will set up a date as the show gets closer. please remember that if you want to get out for a beer or four before january id be up for that as well.

#639 Heaven can wait

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 08:03 AM

I've decided that tonight I'm going to kick back and have a few beers to hopefully put aside the pain that tomorrow will unfortunately bring, my Grand Mother has been granted a leave pass from Hospital as has my Father, so tomorrow the Wheel Chair Express will deliver them both to hopefully a Happy Christmas Day lunch at my sisters.

My 93 year old Grandma took a turn for the worst 3 weeks ago, and was lucky to survive her pneumonia, but as with most 90 somethings she's traumatized by abrupt holt to her daily routine, all the while taking it out on anyone that will listen.

We've said to her many times in the past that she needed more around the clock assistance, however a Nursing Home was not for this Granny, and now unfortunately for her and us, that decision has been taken away from her, and like any would be independent sole is now hitting out at those closest to her.

For what it's worth I can take my Gran's hit out's, but for my Mum and Dad it's a whole different ball game, and this is where it's really upsetting for everyone as Dad enters the final stages of his Cancer.

Christmas Day 2009 will be arguably one of the most emotional days of our families life, and whilst I'm dreading it, I still have the kids and tomorrow morning to look forward to.

Tonight I praise all who have contributed to this thread in 2009, and trust that all especially you JETFUEL have a safe, reasonably healthy Christmas, and I'll hopefully see you all on the other side of Christmas.

Merry Christmas Folks.

Shaun HcW....

#640 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 10:34 AM

I had a travel day from hell today, trying to get from one blizzard in Minneapolis to a second blizzard in Denver. After many, many hours, I finally arrived in Steamboat six hours late a few minutes ago at 3am. My frustration level kept going higher and higher as multiple human screw ups around me compounded the reality that Mother Nature was calling the shots today. I was allowing each incident to add stress to my soul, and it was tearing me apart.

Then something happened that put everything quickly back into perspective. I ran into a guy on my final flight who is from Sydney. He's not a sailor, but he has friends who are keen, and before long I was talking about the HCW race, and why I kept coming back for it every year.

And of course I suddenly felt ashamed at my attitude. I started crying on the plane, and a couple of other passengers assumed I was in distress about the multiple long delays.

No.... I was thinking about Shaun and his father and many of you who I've met (in reality or online) through this thread over the past four years.

Cheers to all of you. Thank you for allowing me to be a small part of this community, and of your online "family" here on SA.

Blake

#641 RockHead

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 02:47 PM

It's Christmas Eve in Marblehead, I just cooked a big breakfast for the family. I'm so grateful to have them, and all of you. It's been another tumultuous year for us, for many here and others who are sadly no longer here with us. You all have been a source of strength & joy to me, I hope I can give that back to others in the future.

Happy Christmas, peace and strength to all.

#642 on your qtr

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 03:16 PM

A heart, mind and soul Thank-you to all!

True D.

#643 Bowgirl

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 05:42 PM

An old quote I saw in a Charlie Brown comic strip probably 30 years ago now has been running through my mind. Charlie Brown is talking with a friend about the friend's grandfather's birthday. "And Grampa said 'The years have been good to me. The days and weeks were a little rude, but the years have been good.'"

2009 has been a seemingly unstoppable stream of "bad days in Earth school". Numerous rude days and weeks. BUT ... through it all you've all been there, riding out your own storms, yet still willing and able to standby for others. THAT is perspective. That's what makes 2009 a great year, when I look back on it.

So on this Christmas Eve, a little blessing:

"God bless those that I love,
God bless those that love me;
God bless those that love those that I love,
And those that love those that love me."

Thank you all, and Merry Christmas to each one of you that's included in the ever-widening circle of the above blessing.

#644 Bowgirl

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Posted 31 December 2009 - 08:36 PM

Wishing everyone who drops by here all the best for 2010.

#645 RockHead

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Posted 04 January 2010 - 01:37 AM

Just thought I'd share a joy... The Pebble went skiing today. 1 year ago, he couldn't walk independently, today he was on skis at an adaptive program at Mt Wachusett in MA. Many thanks to the instructors, particularly Erin, mom of 3 y.o. twins who had the patience and perseverance to get him back out into the cold, wind & snow (15 deg F plus gusts to 40 knots), and bring him down the bunny hill on his little skis between her legs. Freakin' awesome! I only saw video, as I was off with the Rockette on the other side of the mountain at the time. Trying to get it up to Youtube, so I can share, but the technology isn't cooperating. And most importantly, he wants to go back and do it again! :D We gotta do the same with sailing this summer :ph34r:

Mrs. RockHead also got back on a monoski for the first time in 10 years. A good family day.

Of course, there always seems to be the flip side. We come home and find that one of the Rockette's former classmates is having brain surgery on Wednesday to remove a mass on her hypothalmus (9 y.o.). That's pretty damn near smack in the middle of the old noggin. It's benign fortunately, but it's pretty serious surgery, they basically have to split her brain wide open to reach the area. So say a prayer for Maya.

Dan

P.S. Went to the first page of this thread to post this, and re-read Sean's first posts. Jeez man, You were quite a mess! :blink:



#646 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 04 January 2010 - 02:59 AM

P.S. Went to the first page of this thread to post this, and re-read Sean's first posts. Jeez man, You were quite a mess! :blink:


And that was back in 2005- years after he first faced down cancer. The fact that he is still fighting so hard is only one example of what has inspired me over the years since Shaun started this thread. My own personal challenges, put in that perspective, are minor.

I pay respect to all those who have passed.
All those who who continue to fight.
All those who have won.

Let's all stay strong. Let's all WIN!

Cheers to the most important thread on SA. Long may it inspire all.

#647 Amati

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Posted 05 January 2010 - 04:44 AM

I bade a good friend Happy New Year today. He responded "one more time time around".

I like that.

Happy new year, everybody.

#648 Bowgirl

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Posted 05 January 2010 - 01:23 PM

Whether it's a birthday or a new year, it's a celebration of one more Trip Around the Sun. (Jimmy Buffet & Martina McBride did a neat song by the same name)

Happy New Year, Amati - enjoy the ride ;)

#649 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 25 January 2010 - 07:42 AM

Shaun just posted in the Heaven Can Wait thread (Sports Boat forum) about his dad's ongoing battle with his own cancer. Sounds like it's time to share some positive energy with him.
Please do!

Blake

#650 on your qtr

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Posted 06 February 2010 - 06:35 PM

Just a need to come back to this thread for positive thoughts and inspiration. I've handled my own cancers and a lung infection quite well both phys. and metally since July '05. Now faced with close family members with worse prognosis' and weeks to live, all within 2 mths.
I'm having a much harder time with this than my own situation. Just needed a place to say a little and listen alot.

#651 Bowgirl

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 12:59 AM

Standing by, prayers "on", on_your_qtr.


And, for anyone on this thread who hasn't caught the news flash, our own HcW lost his father last week, in a situation that sounds much like you describe, on_your_qtr. Funeral for Shaun's Dad is Feb 8th in Oz.

#652 seasame

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 02:04 AM

it's sunday night and i haven't taken the time to read all of the pages- but i will. I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in sept. at the age of 52. In dec. had my right lung totally removed. due to the size of the tumor it was a stage 4. as preventative i am going thru minimal of 4 sets of chemo- 3 weeks apart. I almost said that "i am sure that it is minor compared to others" and i realized DUH that is a stupid statement- it is not minor.

i lost both parents to different cancers.

When i was 6 weeks old my parents had me out sailing. from then on i raced sailboats as a camper, junior sailor, and then when i was strong enough- i was allowed to sail on my grandparents tarten 41.

when my daughter was born i made sure that she was sailing by 6 weeks.!!!! my goal this summer - to get my energy back so i can continue to sail with her!

chemo really sucks!

hey cancer- you picked the wrong bitch!!!!
abigail

#653 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 03:05 AM

it's sunday night and i haven't taken the time to read all of the pages- but i will. I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in sept. at the age of 52. In dec. had my right lung totally removed. due to the size of the tumor it was a stage 4. as preventative i am going thru minimal of 4 sets of chemo- 3 weeks apart. I almost said that "i am sure that it is minor compared to others" and i realized DUH that is a stupid statement- it is not minor.

i lost both parents to different cancers.

When i was 6 weeks old my parents had me out sailing. from then on i raced sailboats as a camper, junior sailor, and then when i was strong enough- i was allowed to sail on my grandparents tarten 41.

when my daughter was born i made sure that she was sailing by 6 weeks.!!!! my goal this summer - to get my energy back so i can continue to sail with her!

chemo really sucks!

hey cancer- you picked the wrong bitch!!!!
abigail



Abigail,
I'll put it simply: You ROCK! Keep up the super-positive attitude!

#654 Bowgirl

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 12:36 PM

You go girl! Not only does Cancer Fear the Pebble, but Cancer should fear you, too!

#655 RockHead

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 01:00 PM

when my daughter was born i made sure that she was sailing by 6 weeks.!!!! my goal this summer - to get my energy back so i can continue to sail with her!

chemo really sucks!

hey cancer- you picked the wrong bitch!!!!
abigail


Pretty rare that a post in this thread will make me laugh. Good job Abigail! When the chemo sucks the most, think about going sailing with your daughter. You have a good reason to kick cancer's ass!

Dan

#656 jetfuel

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 01:27 PM

i got diagnosed with 4th grade throat cancer before Christmas
Now I have gone through two boughts of chemo (cisplatin) and am halfway trough the 35 radiation treatments. Got chemo for my birthday last Friday!
Worst part is the not eating and not tasting or having sailiva glands. I have a g-tube in my stomach but have been trying to get real food down as much as possible. Can't wait to get over this and get on the water in April
God willing I will have a good prognosis after but they have to wait six weeks before they can really tell anything as the throat is so burned up from the radiation
Thank god I have good friends and crew who have been very suportive. Not to mention my amazing wife. I cannot imagine how hard itis on her.

#657 jetfuel

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 01:29 PM

I hope to see everyone in the Lake Ontario 300 again this yr

#658 seasame

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 04:25 PM

sometimes i think it is harder on the caregiver than the patient! my hubby watches the chemo go in- but since it is behind me- i don't have it glaring in my face! he has been wonderful in taking care of me and making sure i eat!

cisplatin and alimta are my drugs of choice

#659 riggert

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 10:56 PM

Well I had good news today, after being diagnosed on my birthday last year with AML and 7months on I got told today that everything is looking good, I'm in remission and all the signs are that I'll stay that way, 4 rounds of chemo more than half the time spent in hospital or in daystay, it is great to be out and getting back into life slowly but surely, enjoying having my taste buds returning to normal though somethings still taste odd.

I have to say that my Wife has been amazing the entire time as often she had to look after me as well as our baby girl, now have to find some way of thanking her for putting up with me when I was sick and simply being there all the time.

Best Wishes To All

#660 Boomberries

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 11:31 PM

seasame, jetfuel, riggert and all their friends & loved ones who are supporting them - know that many of us are reading this and sending best thoughts your way. Try to stay strong and know you are not alone. Great to hear words like remission!

#661 Amati

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Posted 13 February 2010 - 04:29 AM

Remission is good, sweet even. Time is relative. Science marches on.

:lol:

#662 Ozee Adventure

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Posted 22 February 2010 - 10:51 PM

Girlfriend racing for charity if anyone has a spare $5
Hi everyone,

Please help Pam

"I have volunteered to participate in the Brisbane to Gladstone yacht race aboard a 100 foot tall ship in aid of RED KITE CHARITY. A charity that raises money for families who have children with cancer.

They fund two social workers who meet with the family the minute a child is diagnosed with cancer and offer support all through their journey. Support is given in many ways and may include money to pay parking or a mobile phone card. Invariable one or both parents have to give up work and these added expenses just add more stress to the situation. Government and hospital support frequently does not cover all the issues families face when nursing a child through cancer.

My expenses are covered by either my sponsor (for the hire of the yacht) and I cover all other expenses.

I would really appreciate if you could donate a little to help the charity knowing every dollar you donate goes directly to the children & their family.

http://www.everydayh...enRace4_Redkite
Pam Buckley - Sponsored By Latest Development

Thanks a million

Pam"


#663 on your qtr

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 05:15 PM

Bump...Need this up front!

#664 mainsheetgirl

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Posted 06 March 2010 - 07:37 PM

Yesterday, my friend Don was diagnosed with prostate cancer. 10 of the 12 biopsies were cancerous and the other two were suspicious. The doctor said it is very aggressive. He is 48. They will have to move quickly. On Monday he is going in for a bone scan to see if it has spread. That is all we know right now. It is surreal and hasn't sunk in and it is very, very scary.



Please, please, please everyone send him good healing thoughts and positive energy and strength. Thanks.

Don had his surgery a week a a half ago, it went very well. The tissue biopsies of stuff they took out surrounding the prostate came back benign which means the cancer did not spread and Don does not need radiation. The surgeon got it all. He is walking 2 miles a day and eating and feeling pretty good, except for having to wear a diaper but that is not permanent. We joked that it is too bad it isn't football season here (he is a huge Dolphin fan) because how great would it be to be able to watch the entire game without having to get up to pee.

My thoughts remain in this thread and with those who are fighting this beast. Remember to be thankful for this precious gift of life and for those who help carry us through tough times.

#665 Bowgirl

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Posted 07 March 2010 - 01:38 AM

Amen.

Excellent news about Don, MSG.

#666 Amati

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Posted 08 March 2010 - 04:17 AM

Don- welcome to the brotherhood. There are men without a country, and there are those of us without proStates. :lol:

Glad to hear it hadn't spread. Mine hadn't either. I figure at worst it gives me 15 years, at best, or, better, I'll live to be a hundred, like my surgeon said. Now that said, I have friends who had a prostatectomy 15 years ago, and when the PSA started inching up, they got BLASTED with radiation. PSA back to 0. Pretty cool.

The pads get smaller. Golf and Winches and Beer and Laughter, though.......

For the rest of you with the big C, hang on as hard as you can.

For everybody else, it's later than you think. I don't mean to be morbid, but LIVE, dammit!

Well, that, and the Phoenicians said a day spent sailing doesn't count against you.

Paul

#667 seasame

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 02:57 PM

Today is St. Patrick's day & I am in the day center FOR MY LAST CHEMO--- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
HAPPY JIG/ DANCE TONIGHT AT OUR HOUSE!!!


I am so glad that i found this community and shared my story- lots of wonderful support in here.

spread the word- Friends don't let friends deal with cancer alone.


Nl S'n L (" seize the day")-


:D:D:D

#668 Stevem1971

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 03:33 PM

Way to go! Happy St. Patricks day and good luck!

#669 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 04:12 PM

Today is St. Patrick's day & I am in the day center FOR MY LAST CHEMO--- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
HAPPY JIG/ DANCE TONIGHT AT OUR HOUSE!!!


I am so glad that i found this community and shared my story- lots of wonderful support in here.

spread the word- Friends don't let friends deal with cancer alone.


Nl S'n L (" seize the day")-


:D:D:D



Awesome news! Congratulations!

#670 RockHead

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 04:38 PM

Today is St. Patrick's day & I am in the day center FOR MY LAST CHEMO--- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
HAPPY JIG/ DANCE TONIGHT AT OUR HOUSE!!!


I am so glad that i found this community and shared my story- lots of wonderful support in here.

spread the word- Friends don't let friends deal with cancer alone.


Nl S'n L (" seize the day")-


:D:D:D


Whoo Hoo! Congratulations and may the luck of the Irish be with you today and every day.

The Pebble is at MGH for his quarterly MRI and checkup today. We're counting on all the Irish aunts, uncles, grandparents and great-grandparents who have gone before, to be looking out for him today.

Off to buy a corned beef to put on the stove for tonight's dinner. Already have the Guinness to simmer it in. :D

#671 behappy

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 02:18 AM

Today is St. Patrick's day & I am in the day center FOR MY LAST CHEMO--- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
HAPPY JIG/ DANCE TONIGHT AT OUR HOUSE!!!


I am so glad that i found this community and shared my story- lots of wonderful support in here.

spread the word- Friends don't let friends deal with cancer alone.


Nl S'n L (" seize the day")-


:D:D:D


Congrats on your last Chemo! I remember being so happy the day of my last Chemo. I felt like hell but it was going to be the last time.

#672 Heaven can wait

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 12:22 PM

Today is St. Patrick's day & I am in the day center FOR MY LAST CHEMO--- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO
HAPPY JIG/ DANCE TONIGHT AT OUR HOUSE!!!


I am so glad that i found this community and shared my story- lots of wonderful support in here.

spread the word- Friends don't let friends deal with cancer alone.


Nl S'n L (" seize the day")-


:D:D:D



Fantastic stuff Seasame, I'm just so very pleased for you.

I can imagine the relief for you now that that phase is over.

I'm envious though as after my 7 rounds of Chemo my Oncologist game me the option to either go under the knife for what was ultimately a massive Op, or go another 6 rounds of Chemo.

After the initial rounds of Chemo, my body was done and mentally I had absolutely nothing left. I chose the Op and the rest they say is history.

Congratulations on your final Chemo and to a continued journey back to full health.

HcW.

#673 Sideline

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Posted 18 March 2010 - 10:53 PM

Sadly lost a good mate of mine and our family this morning of cancer.

John Hurley was known to many as the sailing manager at Middle Harbour Yacht club. John took ill last year and resigned from his post to treat his body.

John was my mentor as a National race official and as a good mate was very supportive of Melissa and her girls sailing team. We did many two handed races together amongst others.

Thanks John, you will be missed.

#674 Mel

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 01:22 AM

John loved sailing. He was very good at his job as Sailing Manager. He was very good to my family and very supportive of my teams. Even traveling to Melbourne to coach and do weather briefings for us in his own time.

It is a very sad loss for MHYC and the Sydney sailing community. He did so much for us all that was never heard of. He worked so hard so we could all go out and enjoy sailing.

I was lucky to see the non work side of John. Even racing against him when he raced with Dad in the 2-handed races. So much fun and heckling.

He really will be missed.

#675 seasame

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 01:41 AM

sorry to hear about your loss- sounds like he was a grand man

#676 Heaven can wait

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 03:22 AM

John loved sailing. He was very good at his job as Sailing Manager. He was very good to my family and very supportive of my teams. Even traveling to Melbourne to coach and do weather briefings for us in his own time.

It is a very sad loss for MHYC and the Sydney sailing community. He did so much for us all that was never heard of. He worked so hard so we could all go out and enjoy sailing.

I was lucky to see the non work side of John. Even racing against him when he raced with Dad in the 2-handed races. So much fun and heckling.

He really will be missed.


My sincere condolences to John's Family Mel and Meroo, I met John a couple of times but spoke to him mostly via the phone in putting together a little Regatta together known as the HCW. John was always helpful and always returned my calls such was his passion for Sailing and what I and others here on SA were trying to achieve, and for that I will always be eternally grateful.

John was one of natures Gentlemen and a huge loss to the Sydney Sailing Scene.

And whilst my Father set sail for last time early last month, I'm sure he'll find John and together go sailing.

To all that knew John my sincere best wishes to you all at this time.

Shaun HCW

#677 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 04:46 AM


John loved sailing. He was very good at his job as Sailing Manager. He was very good to my family and very supportive of my teams. Even traveling to Melbourne to coach and do weather briefings for us in his own time.

It is a very sad loss for MHYC and the Sydney sailing community. He did so much for us all that was never heard of. He worked so hard so we could all go out and enjoy sailing.

I was lucky to see the non work side of John. Even racing against him when he raced with Dad in the 2-handed races. So much fun and heckling.

He really will be missed.


My sincere condolences to John's Family Mel and Meroo, I met John a couple of times but spoke to him mostly via the phone in putting together a little Regatta together known as the HCW. John was always helpful and always returned my calls such was his passion for Sailing and what I and others here on SA were trying to achieve, and for that I will always be eternally grateful.

John was one of natures Gentlemen and a huge loss to the Sydney Sailing Scene.

And whilst my Father set sail for last time early last month, I'm sure he'll find John and together go sailing.

To all that knew John my sincere best wishes to you all at this time.

Shaun HCW


I too had the honor of meeting John during my visit to MHYC before the first HCW race.
Fair winds, John!

#678 Doc Hagen-Dazs

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 07:50 AM

Don't know where to jump in, in this long, long thread. If this spot is inappropriate, just kick me! Hard!

Just wanted to say I'm glad to find my fraternity represented here. My PSA is up this week. Way up. But I'm living hard!

All the best to all of you sailors!


#679 Phil

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 10:26 AM

Been a big couple of weeks for me. I've done a lot of living out of a suitcase since the beginning of February and another 2 weeks left of this lifestyle.

Last week I saw Hurls on Monday and Friday, I knew on Monday that he wasn't too good. Friday afternoon, after speaking with one of his brothers I knew it wasn't to be long. Life's bloody hard when you lose someone who's been a friend and a mentor.

John helped me out late last year with my issues, last week all I could do was hold his hand as a gesture of thanks. Today just as I was leaving to see him having been away interstate, I got the call. I knew it was coming, we all did. It's just harder when it actually happens.

Tomorrow, Saturday, I'll have the MHYC burgee on board the clubs start boat at Half mast as a measure of respect. Sunday, I'm on a plane to Darwin.

Hurls will be missed, I can only hope that I can carry on his legacy as a great sailor and RO. My eldest Melissa has already paid her respects, few knew how much pleasure he got out of watching her efforts on the water.

Phil Y

#680 Bowgirl

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 11:29 AM

Congratulations and condolences in the same post seem to be appropriate in this thread.

Seasame - AWESOME!!


To all who knew John, my heartfelt condolences on your loss.

#681 teamsharkface

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 12:21 PM

The sport has lost a true gentleman today.
John Hurley will be sorely missed by all that new him. Whether on as PRO on a start boat or just another guy at a backyard bbq, Hurles was a pleasure to talk to, and one of the most knowledgable people I have spoken to in my years of sailing.

His presence at all Sydney Harbour sailing events and the Yoemans house will be a huge loss.

My condolences to his family.

Enjoy the rest of your journey Hurles!

#682 Stevem1971

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 10:08 PM

I knew months ago that in time I would be in this position. I am sitting in Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston watching my Dad slowly fade. In July of 09' he was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. My dad chose a path of full chemotherapy with the hope of a stem cell transplant if the good Doctor's at Dana Farber Cancer Institute could get his Leukemia in remission. The treatment was brutal but after six weeks of inpatient chemotherapy they had remission. The next step was a stem cell transplant that seemed to go very well. For the months of November - February dad was slowly gaining a little weight and starting to look like himself again. Perhaps, they had pulled off a miracle.

Unfortunately, on February 24 the painful news of a relapse came and in only 3-1/2 weeks we find ourselves sitting here under Pallative care with only the clock to watch. He is resting at peace with mom and I at his side. She never lets go of his hand - and talks to him at every chance. He stopped responding two days ago and his eyes will not open. Watching this is a gutting yet life affirming experience. I will be a changed man for going through this experience

This community has always been kind and reassuring to those who need it - and all I ask is for a simple thought or prayer for a gentle ending to a wonderful life. Go sailing with your friends and family - enjoy your time here as you never know...

Peace

#683 RockHead

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 10:39 PM

Peace


Peace to your Dad, Mom, you and all his family and friends.

#684 Doc Hagen-Dazs

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 02:38 AM

This community has always been kind and reassuring to those who need it - and all I ask is for a simple thought or prayer for a gentle ending to a wonderful life. Go sailing with your friends and family - enjoy your time here as you never know...

I'm sending you thoughts and prayers starting now, Bro Steve.

#685 Don'tCallMeJudge

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:19 AM

I knew months ago that in time I would be in this position. I am sitting in Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston watching my Dad slowly fade. In July of 09' he was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. My dad chose a path of full chemotherapy with the hope of a stem cell transplant if the good Doctor's at Dana Farber Cancer Institute could get his Leukemia in remission. The treatment was brutal but after six weeks of inpatient chemotherapy they had remission. The next step was a stem cell transplant that seemed to go very well. For the months of November - February dad was slowly gaining a little weight and starting to look like himself again. Perhaps, they had pulled off a miracle.

Unfortunately, on February 24 the painful news of a relapse came and in only 3-1/2 weeks we find ourselves sitting here under Pallative care with only the clock to watch. He is resting at peace with mom and I at his side. She never lets go of his hand - and talks to him at every chance. He stopped responding two days ago and his eyes will not open. Watching this is a gutting yet life affirming experience. I will be a changed man for going through this experience

This community has always been kind and reassuring to those who need it - and all I ask is for a simple thought or prayer for a gentle ending to a wonderful life. Go sailing with your friends and family - enjoy your time here as you never know...

Peace



Peace indeed.
My thoughts are with you as well.

#686 Bowgirl

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 10:47 AM

Peace to you and your family Stevem. You're in my thoughts.

#687 Heaven can wait

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 11:45 AM

I knew months ago that in time I would be in this position. I am sitting in Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston watching my Dad slowly fade. In July of 09' he was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. My dad chose a path of full chemotherapy with the hope of a stem cell transplant if the good Doctor's at Dana Farber Cancer Institute could get his Leukemia in remission. The treatment was brutal but after six weeks of inpatient chemotherapy they had remission. The next step was a stem cell transplant that seemed to go very well. For the months of November - February dad was slowly gaining a little weight and starting to look like himself again. Perhaps, they had pulled off a miracle.

Unfortunately, on February 24 the painful news of a relapse came and in only 3-1/2 weeks we find ourselves sitting here under Pallative care with only the clock to watch. He is resting at peace with mom and I at his side. She never lets go of his hand - and talks to him at every chance. He stopped responding two days ago and his eyes will not open. Watching this is a gutting yet life affirming experience. I will be a changed man for going through this experience

This community has always been kind and reassuring to those who need it - and all I ask is for a simple thought or prayer for a gentle ending to a wonderful life. Go sailing with your friends and family - enjoy your time here as you never know...

Peace



Steve, I understand completely what you and your Mum are going thru having only just lost my own Father after his lengthy battle with Cancer.

My Dad like yours battled an impossible foe with everything in his armory, in the end the resolution that the journeys end was near was more sole destroying than I could ever imagine as I like you felt my Father begin to leave us.

I'm reminded by your post of the waiting, the watching of hours as they slide on by, our Dads seemingly holding on and understandably just don't want to let go.

The hardest thing I've ever said my Father was "It's OK Dad, you don't have to hold on anymore".

My advice Steve and it's incredibly hard to say, is just re assure your Dad that it's OK to let go. Pleading with Mum to finally utter the words saw Dad pass away within hours, and it was her final re assurance that Dad was able to finally cast off and sail away with his Earth bound duty complete.

I had a decent handle on the grief with the prospect of loosing Dad, however the long solemn hours at Dad's side was the hardest and most emotional time I had ever spent with a man I loved and deeply respected and I offer you my sincere thoughts and best wishes to both you and your Mum in having to deal with this at this time.

On the morning of 3rd February my Father found his Utopia and I trust that your Father will go forth and find his.

Rest easy Steve's Dad and hang in there Steve and your Mum, your Dad will be in a much better place where every day is cloudless and a warm breeze at our backs will guide our way.

We're here for you Steve.

From my family to yours all the very best to you at this time.

Shaun Hcw

#688 Heavy Woman

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 01:08 PM

I can't add anything better than what HCW has said - save to say we send you our best wher ever you are, and hope you can find the strength to support your Mum and get through this tough time together as a family.

HW

#689 seasame

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 11:44 PM

HCW said it the best

you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

#690 Stevem1971

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 10:22 AM

Thanks to everyone for their support.

Dad passed away yesterday afternoon with mom and I at his side. It was a quiet, peaceful passing that was as dignified as anyone could hope for.

Our family and friends have been extraordinary throughout this entire experience and the community here - never fails to amaze me. The team at Dana Farber Cancer Institute has shown us what true dedication truly is - they never gave up and my dad worked with them everyday to beat this vicious disease.

He was my hero in so many ways and will continue on in my soon to be born baby. I'm sure he's showing him/her (we don't know!) the ropes right now. What a lucky little baby!

Thanks again - the world lost a good one yesterday.

#691 Heaven can wait

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 11:16 AM

Thanks to everyone for their support.

Dad passed away yesterday afternoon with mom and I at his side. It was a quiet, peaceful passing that was as dignified as anyone could hope for.

Our family and friends have been extraordinary throughout this entire experience and the community here - never fails to amaze me. The team at Dana Farber Cancer Institute has shown us what true dedication truly is - they never gave up and my dad worked with them everyday to beat this vicious disease.

He was my hero in so many ways and will continue on in my soon to be born baby. I'm sure he's showing him/her (we don't know!) the ropes right now. What a lucky little baby!

Thanks again - the world lost a good one yesterday.


Oh Man....

I didn't realize that I'd have any tears left.

All my Best Steve, your Dad is in a much better place now, he feels no more pain, and no more proud of you than now as you guide your Mum thru the darkness of this time back into the light.

My sincere condolences to you and your family Steve on your loss.

Sail On Mr Steve Snr, Sail On.

#692 Bowgirl

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 11:36 AM

Condolences to you and your family, Stevem.

Fair winds to your Dad.

#693 Heavy Woman

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 02:08 PM

Man this thread is always making me cry in the office

Steve -sending you and your family lots of love from everyone at our house

HW

#694 behappy

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Posted 24 March 2010 - 06:46 PM

Hey Steve,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My family has been there.

My parents were very close. When my Dad died it was really tough for Mom. It took time, over two year, for her to realize that life was still good, just different.

I feel my Dad with me often. He was not a sailor. But when he was sick my Mom would bring him to watch me come in on boats. I was pretty new to sailing then. (Wow, 20 years ago.) I still wish I would have had the opportunity to take him out for a sail.

I am sure God has prepared a great place for your father.

#695 Amati

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Posted 27 March 2010 - 04:45 AM

Thanks to everyone for their support.

Dad passed away yesterday afternoon with mom and I at his side. It was a quiet, peaceful passing that was as dignified as anyone could hope for.

Our family and friends have been extraordinary throughout this entire experience and the community here - never fails to amaze me. The team at Dana Farber Cancer Institute has shown us what true dedication truly is - they never gave up and my dad worked with them everyday to beat this vicious disease.

He was my hero in so many ways and will continue on in my soon to be born baby. I'm sure he's showing him/her (we don't know!) the ropes right now. What a lucky little baby!

Thanks again - the world lost a good one yesterday.


"...and death shall have no dominion.."

-Dylan Thomas

I'm glad you were there. It's important.

Paul

#696 Heaven can wait

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 01:10 PM

Last night at 11:55 my 93 year old Grand Mother left us after a brief illness. The Loss of her Son, my Father weighed heavily on her, however it was the passing of her Sister last week that proved to be the catalyst that began her rapid Journey away from us last Wednesday.

My Grandmother was a brilliant business Woman, owning an Internationally renowned Photographic Business for more than 40 Years before retiring to the quiet life on the Upper North Shore.

14 Years ago shortly after her third (possibly her 4th) husband passed away she moved to a quiet part of the Central Coast where she resided until late last year when age and and illness finally subdued our ferociously independent Great Grandmother, and 5 weeks ago she conceded and moved to a higher care Facility closer to us.

It's now a little more than 24 hours later and I'm finally finding I'm more at ease with our loss and positive about my Families future albeit lighter in numbers than we started the year with.

I do have one wish though, that surely now we've earn't a rest from the pain and despair of illness and loss, and we can finally see some light at the end of our tunnel.

After all of the hours that my Wife, my Sister, my Mum and I had spent by my Grandmothers side, she chose the one day that will forever be etched in our Hearts, as yesterday would have been my Fathers Birthday.

What an unfortunate gift Dad, I am truly sorry but it's your Mum.

Rest in Peace our Matriarch HCW.

And Shine on you Crazy Diamond.

#697 Bowgirl

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 03:55 AM

Condolences, Shaun.
How one family can bear so much is beyond comprehension. I just shake my head in amazement, and send you all loving and strengthening thoughts.

Carina

#698 RockHead

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Posted 05 April 2010 - 04:07 AM

Easter Sunday 2010, the Christian holiday of redemption, hope, resurrection and life.

Two years ago this little guy was hospitalized, undergoing chemo. Last year, he was hunting Easter eggs from a walker.

Today-

Posted Image

In the throes of the battle, which claims too many casualties, it can be hard to believe. But remember that there can indeed be redemption, hope, resurrection and life.

Thinking of all of you today, particularly the loved ones of the casualties.

#699 Doc Hagen-Dazs

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Posted 05 April 2010 - 06:30 AM

Live strong, people!

#700 Bowgirl

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Posted 05 April 2010 - 11:05 AM

Easter Sunday 2010, the Christian holiday of redemption, hope, resurrection and life.

Two years ago this little guy was hospitalized, undergoing chemo. Last year, he was hunting Easter eggs from a walker.

Today-

[photo]

In the throes of the battle, which claims too many casualties, it can be hard to believe. But remember that there can indeed be redemption, hope, resurrection and life.

Thinking of all of you today, particularly the loved ones of the casualties.


Hallelujah.
:)




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