249 replies to this topic

[basketcase]

as dr. livingstone came out of the brush, he discovered the legendary bavaria burial grounds.

[DrBrewHaHa]

It's my new invention. Our invisible hulls are more efficent through aerodynamics. It's definitely the lightest hull anywhere. They're so amazing it will feel like you're floating on air, err, I mean water.




Is this the fifth, or sixth mode?

[bowmonkeynuts]

The copyright team finally admit the smurf idea was a bad one!

[shiosai]

"The little canting keels that couldn't."

or

"Mike Golding arrives in hell to discover that not surprisingly, the devil has a wicked sense of humour."

or

"Ikea decides to break into the yachting market, and discovers that plywood keels, while a good idea in theory, are not so great in practice."

[NewportStormer]

Well a-when the keels go marching in,
When the keels go marching in
Mm I want to be, I’m gonna be in that boat-race,
Ooo when the keels go marching in.

[Derek Grebe]

"Do you think that if we stand like this for long enough, they'll think we're Easter Island?"

[joydot]

I know I need one of these, but do they come in a color other than blue?

[mustang__1]

"I told you there was more than one AYC!"

[bomvu]

Keels, who needs 'em. Open 60's make changes after Mike Golding's third in the last Vendee Globe

[dirtdog]

wow that camo bottom paint is cool.

[Marino]

Hummm I still have this funny feeling we forgot something at the dock...


Or...


Don't worry 'bout kelp, I just solved that...

[t.rex]

Blue Meanies in the Sea of Holes

[Mike G]

The bolts weighed too much, so we got rid of them.

or..



Farr..."it's not our fault, they used the wrong bolts."

[CaptKen]

Another Keelhenge:

Certainly the best known of all megalithic sites, Keelhenge stands in isolation on the edge of the bay. At first sight this unique and enigmatic site appears smaller than imagined, as you get closer the blocked keels reach an impressive 7+ feet high and span almost 5 ft in width. At over 2 tons, one can imagine the difficulties early sailors had moving the keels to create this unique site.

[Teresa Lynn]

DAAA Where did they go ... Ah where did they go , my little wet bottom is missing!!

[NewportStormer]

Farr's VO 70 keel selection process...

Eenie, meenie, miny, mo
Grab a keel, tell 'em go
I hope they get to Rio
Oh well, we lost to ABN Amro!

[moonstar]

Keel Bill IX

[Bump-n-Grind]

All your keels are belong to us

[Stiffler's Mom]

This pic depicts what Tom Schock and Bruce Farrs graveyard headstones might resemble. We have room for 7 more fuckups.. Any takers??

[Trovão]

I told you 5200 doesn't cure properly.....

yeah, better use sikaflex.

[Rum Runner]

Those keels really stick into the mud a low tide.

[wheezr]

Non of these guys pay attention to the markers on the bay!

[Jay]

The new fleet of Flying Tiger IIs awaiting fitting out of their proprietary transparent aluminum hulls.

[KonTiki]

New Orleans Yacht Club recent Mardi Gras Parade entry

[2high2tight]

Option Package 2: full set of racing keels for PHRF, IRC, IOR, and EIEIO

[ibcrewin]

Ladies and gentlemen.. What you see here is the aftermath of a merger between Bavaria match and the makers of the MAC 26x. Who needs a keel anyway?

[Mike]

The QA Manager at Schock, 5pm on a Friday, talking to the build staff:

"Godamnit guys, how many fucking times do I have to tell you: *All* the hulls have to be shipped with a keel!"

or:

Photo would be on page 6 of the Schock 40 brochure with the caption:
"Keel issues are no longer an issue at Schock as we have a full inventory of spares ready to ship out to you at moments notice."

[Jackyunquatre]

Serial Keeler case...

[Mojo Risin]

Win a trip to visit the set of "Keeltown" and see the filming of the new film from citically acclaimed producer, director and filmmaker Keeldragger. Send your check for your raffle ticket today to Dawg or Ed at Sailing Anarchy for your chance to win this once in a lifetime opportunity!

[Scurvy Pete]

In light of numerous recent keel problems experienced in the VOR, organizers of the Clipper Round the World Race and their Insurance carrier decided to make pre-emptive safety changes by having the fleet leave all keels at the dock, thereby avoiding possible loss at sea.

[Ichthyosaur]

BANKRUPTCY AUCTION AT CRAMMO BOATWORKS

The remaining stock of magnetically actuated canting keels will be auctioned at the boatworks, 8:00 AM Friday, March 24.

Buyer responsible for transportation.

[Hippie]

Shock 40 Graveyard. Rest in Pieces.

[Hippie]

1.Shock 40 Graveyard. Rest in Pieces.

2.Rust in Pieces.

3.Beneteau at full speed.

[GoodTimes]

No, seriously, what's it rate?

[Mojo Risin]

Finally proof that the new Chinese built boats are faster than a speeding keel.

[legoman]

Way to go Michealangelo, I told you to paint the KEEL with the "invisible paint". Only the keel. You can explain this one to Ernesto.

[barleymalt]

Farr Design Offices

Fack guys. Stash those VO70 keels before Bruce gets back.

[Phantom Menace]

Crikey, we must be getting close! See these droppings, the Farrasaurus has recently been through here!

[Prouda my Pickle Dish]

Welcome to Dr. Schnoz's Discount Cosmetic Surgery Clinic.

Please select the style of nose you would like.

[barleymalt]

Teaky's latest brainstorm, Keelhenge is unveiled as a way to put Tuvalu on the map as a sailing tourist mecca.

[islandplanet]

A rare look at the Navy's new line of "Stealth Sailboats" designed to allow SEALS and other specialized combat groups to approach targets unseen and very quietly.

[wizard]

SSSSHH!!! Whatever you do, dont mention the guy in the back, is nuts!!!

[Phantom Menace]

"The last thing I remember was a big orange cat, then I wake up here at the Smurf Village prosthetics clinic, and I'm missing a leg!"

[Phantom Menace]

"I know the guy's got a huge ego, but did we have to make the Dennis Connor Pez dispensers to scale?"

[smelly weasel]

I thought you said all the J105's were switching keels again

[bad gas]

It's 10 oclock at night.. do you know where your boat is? Buy Lowjack.. 9 out of 10 boats are recovered within an hour. Available at your local dealer

[Bcubed]

Researchers have reported the discovery of a new strain of glass, plastic, and carbon-eating bacterium.

[another505er]

All that was left was this photo and a note “lead is slow”, obviously the work of the Dinghy Anarchist.

[Cardewkisan]

Dude, where's my boat?

[nemesis]

I've got two:

It's Bush's fault!


and


You think Katrina was bad? Get a load of this!

[VTsailor]

Photographic evidence of the truth behind Mike "Lorena Bobbit" Motoryachter's threats are true, he will cut off your lower appendage if you wrong him. Police discovered the fruits of his labor in his back yard

[The Winner]

Star Trek log # 1205050-05505

The Enterprise has bee sent to investigate allegations of misconduct at The Star Fleet Academy Sailing Team. It seems that the young officers had stolen the Romulin Cloaking Devise and used it to go undefeated at the USAF Worlds. It was not noticed until after the boats were hauled out after the event and someone accidentally engaged the devise. As everyone knows, Romulin Cloaking Devices do not work on lead.

[dzaveski]

Ladies and Gentlemen, the unveiling of my latest invention - the Invisiboat!

It's transparent aluminimum hulls. The Trekkies knew it was bound to happen.

[dzaveski]

A rare look at the Navy's new line of "Stealth Sailboats" designed to allow SEALS and other specialized combat groups to approach targets unseen and very quietly.

They didn't cloak the keels because the animal rights groups were all upset that the whales wouldn't see them comming.

[35degreesofheel]

News flash! Boats go faster with less lead!

[sailmatt]

EBay:
Hurricane Boats! - Save Thousands!
*Minor work needed to get these back to sailing condition.

[SailPix]

Blue Man Group + heavy metal = Blue Keel Group

[dzaveski]

If I can't be buried at sea, I want one for a head stone!

[Marino]

... The FBI also stated that they've found evidence of a plot led by FM (AKA "he whose name shall not be mentioned"), that pretends to convert all keel boats into Mac 26 lookalikes. Owners fear the worst, that being recovering the missing boats with an incredible small and inefficient rig and huge engines installed. More in depth information at the 10'clock news...

[nroose]

Keelhenge

That's what I thought when I saw it.

[capt. kiss]

"Keels on strike."

"Line dancing Keels."

"Lead the way."

"Calisthenics Keels"

Bush says "We need more bullets for the troops"

Q."How many Keels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
A." 9. One to screw and the other eight to distract you"

Q."How much lead does it take to satisfy a surrealist?"
A."A fish."

[lizkachu]

“What are those?” the class of I-14 students asked their saddened teacher as they passed the graveyard of the noble yet extinct Clipper fleet.

I went all the way around the world in the Volvo Ocean Race and all I got were these lousy keels!

[Hwyl]

O.K. baritones: Once more with keel in.

[Speng]

And you said we'd save money with that Chinese boatbuilder, HA!!

[justasailer]

"O K, we all agree. Just 1 drink so we can come back early enough to install all these keel bolts before high tide."

[barkingmad]

"Dude just what did you put in that last rum we drank?!"

"Well, rum and maybe a little something else hehehe! Why?"

"I think we are in the cemetry, not the yacht club!"

[barkingmad]

"you shudda seen us! We had the number "F*K its huge" kite up and were going faster than a cut cat! Spray was everywhere and we couldn't see much in front of us! We knew that the dudes behind us were doing the same thing so we just couldn't slow down.

The sadly, some bar stard put this freakin hard stuff in the way!

As you may be able to tell, we got the furtherest before it let go.
However, the good thing is that we saved the rig and the hull..."

[barkingmad]

The Harbour Master is being questioned as to just how effective the new speed humps have been!

[Isochrome]

Came across this on ebay today:

http://img484.images...baykeels9mc.jpg

[P_Wop]

To add to the Bavaria theme:

"The scene at the Bavaria boat show booth after the westerly came through."

[200fly]

How about, "From the new movie, Stone Cold Keelers"

[ibcrewin]

The R&D department at Bavaria.

[charlie don't surf]

Aftermath of high winds at the Naval Academy.

[Jinn]

While the keels were getting bored sitting in the yard, the boats joined the party in the trendy keelless outfit...

[NewportStormer]

Ship, if this was gonna be that kinda party, I'm gonna stick my keel in the mashed potatoes.

[swestervelt]

See I told you we shouldn't leave the boat in detroit.

Stephen

[DNZ]

Bedford:
A sadly misinformed French team arrives at Keil Week in Germany.

yeah.. it was pretty funny after I got the pun on keel and the city of "Kiel"

[MrD]

Executives from Disney announced today that the 'Pirates of the Carribean' ride at Disneyland will be changed to reflect Disney's entry in the Vo70. The ride, continuously operating since 1964, will be temporarilty shut down in April to allow the boats to have these cutting edge keels added to them.

[JustNuts]

Finding no suitable sailing site for the 2008 olympics, the IOC began preparations for the newest olympic sport: "keel hauling"

[Phantom Menace]

"What the hell am I supposed to do with these? I thought you said you had a great 'deal on blue chip stock'!"

or

"Someone bring me Christo's head on a frickin' platter"

or

"Everyone thought the new meds had cured Ted's kleptomania..."

[Mike G]

Does this keel make me look fat? I'll try another one....

[Kaptainkriz]

Monument to Blue Man Group left behind by the ancients on Easter Island.... but I've got to say, All you keels are belong to us makes me laugh!!

[hard aground]

Boat? We don't need no stinkin' boat.

[Nikko]

The Chesapeake J105 fleet has developed a new light air strategy, cutting a great deal of weight out of the boat. The fleet has yet to perform well out of town, however.

[chilnonthecornrlikeitaintnothang]

Lost And Found: Schock 40 Keels, San Diego, CA

[Enola Gay]

"It was blowing the hulls off the keels, thats how breezy it was"!

[Fishingmickey]

Hey Bud, Have you seen that new movie... March of the Keels! or is Cant me or Cant me knot.....

[CrashTack]

"Looks good Johnny. We may need just a little more room between them to put the tops back on though!"

[BigUnit]

Hurricane hits Schock boat yard!
Witness: "This time the boat fell off the keel"

[Maggi Ara]

mislead ... mis-lead ... miss-lead ... misleaded

[kinky reggae]

anxieties grow as keels prepare to be fitted with dive suits in the Schock yard.

[chocabloc]

"Introducing the new VIAGRA keels.....Proven to keep masts up since 1998...."

[windwagon]

I'm telling you- these things are going to be the next pet rock, keep buyin 'em!

[Slyguy]

No Seriously, ALL the weight is in the keel!!

- or -

Alan Bond's schoolyard....

[dweeb]

The keels go marching five by five! Hurrah! Hurrah!
The keels go marching five by five! Hurrah! Hurrah!
The keels go marching five by five, they are so big in size,
And they they all came falling off, to the bottom, of the pacific!

[Eventually]

Fin Salesman (handing over a yellow envelope) "You think the owner will ever figure out it really is his driving?"

BN "Nah mate...and just wait till I tell him how bad the rudder is...."

[Azzurri505]

"Exclusive, excusive, read all about it! Missing celebrity keels spotted relaxing on a remote isaland paradise."

[Marino]

...Greempeace stated on a written statement that this will keep our oceans, lead free....

[Chris11726]

Joint Bavaria Schock Proving Ground

[Wasn't Me]

I told you the balsa was wet.......